3-2-1 Penguins!

3-2-1 Penguins! is an American sci-fi computer-animated Christian children's television series that follows the two main kids, Jason and Michelle Conrad, who are spending the summer with their grandmother at their grandparent's cottage in the The Poconos region of Pennsylvania. They're also pulled into a rocket ship of a troop of penguins as they're taken on a galactic adventure.

Trouble on Planet Wait-Your-Turn

 * [First lines; The Conrad family are driving their way to drop off their kids, Jason and Michelle, at Grandmum's cottage]
 * Jason: [as Michelle's doll's shoe hits him on the side of his head] Mom, she did it again!
 * Mrs. Conrad: Michelle, now come on, we're almost there. Apologize to your brother.
 * Michelle: Sorry, Jason.
 * Mrs. Conrad: I hope you two don't act this way while you're at Grandmum's.
 * Michelle: [excited] Yay, Grandmum's cottage!
 * Jason: Yay, Grandmum's cottage. You know, Trevor's at Space Camp right now.
 * Mrs. Conrad: Jason, you'll get to go to Space Camp after Grandmum's cottage. You're just going to need to be patient.
 * Michelle: I just love Grandmum's cottage! Are we almost there?
 * Mr. Conrad: You should know where we are, cupcake, unless you aren't wearing your glasses again. [the car pulls up in front of the cottage] Hey, hey, hey! We're here!
 * Grandmum: [walks to the car; excitedly] Hello, sweeties! How's my two favorite twin pumpkins?
 * Michelle: [in unison] Hi, Grandma!
 * Jason: [in unison] Hi, Grandma.
 * Grandmum: Oh, that's "Grandmum" to you, you little bugs!
 * Mr. Conrad: Oh, you kids are gonna love it here. Your grandfather finished this place when I was about your age.
 * Grandmum: That's right. Built the whole place himself, he did. Quite a man, your granddad. [gets a hug from Michelle] Oh! Goodness, now, which one are you, then?
 * Michelle: We're not identical twins, Grandmum.
 * Jason: Thank goodness.
 * Michelle: Just remember, I'm the cute one.
 * Jason: And I'm the one who's supposed to be at Space Camp. [gets out of the car]
 * Mrs. Conrad: Okay, that's everything. I'm afraid we have to run or we'll miss our flight.
 * Mr. Conrad: Thanks for watching the kids, Mom. Jason and Michelle, we'll call you when we get there.
 * Grandmum: Have a good trip. And don't you worry about these two, they'll be just fine here. No better place for kids, you know.
 * Mr. Conrad: That's right.
 * Mrs. Conrad: Bye-bye, sweethearts, we love you! Be good for your grandmum.
 * Mr. Conrad: And have fun!
 * Grandmum: Come on, pumpkins! You can give me a hand with supper.
 * Michelle: Bye!
 * Mrs. and Mr. Conrad: Goodbye!
 * Jason: Goodbye.
 * [The car starts pulling away but comes back after a few seconds]
 * Mr. Conrad: Jason, your mom and I know you'd rather be at Space Camp right now, so we got you and Michelle something that might make the time go faster. Now, be sure you take turns with your sister. We'll call you tonight, buddy.


 * [The Rockhopper ship comes to life and Jason meets the penguin crew for the first time]
 * Zidgel: Jason T. Conrad.
 * Jason: Huh?
 * Zidgel: We need your help!
 * Jason: You're, you're alive!
 * Midgel: Of course we are, kid. It's much easier to do our jobs that way.
 * Zidgel: Get in here, Jason. The galaxy waits for no man!
 * Jason: What? I can't. I'm too big.
 * Zidgel: Ah, too big, too big. When I was your size, I was twice your size. [to Fidgel] Dr. Fidgel, galeezle him.
 * Fidgel: Yes, right away. [fires the galeezle and a big claw comes out of the ship, grabbing Jason]
 * Jason: Hey! [gets pulled into their ship] I-I-I can't believe you guys are alive.
 * Zidgel: Of course we are.
 * Midgel: Either that or you're daydreaming.
 * Fidgel: That's true. Sensors indicate that he could be daydreaming.
 * Midgel: But no time for small talk now, we've got work to do.
 * Jason: What about my sister? Is she coming?
 * Zidgel: Don't worry, she'll get her chance. But right now, you're the one that we need.

The Cheating Scales of Bullamanka

 * [Michelle meets the penguin crew for the first time as the Rockhopper roars to life]
 * Zidgel: Michelle Francis Conrad.
 * Michelle: Uh, Jason? It's for you.
 * Zidgel: Not so fast! You're the one we need, this time.
 * Michelle: Jason's right. You guys are alive.
 * Midgel: Either that or you're daydreaming.
 * Zidgel: Dr. Fidgel, galeezle her.

The Doom Funnel Rescue!

 * [The mailman drops off some mail at Grandmum's cottage and drives away]
 * Jason and Michelle: [run out the front door] Mail!
 * Jason: Race ya.
 * Michelle: Well…okay! [runs to the mailbox]
 * Jason: Hey, no fair! Michelle, come on!
 * Michelle: [opens the mailbox] What's the matter? It's just the mail.
 * Jason: Come on, I'm desperate! If I don't hear something from the outside world soon, I'm gonna crack!
 * Michelle: Well…let's just see what the postman's brought. Could this be for you? Oh no, I guess not. But ooh! Here's an exciting opportunity to refund your home at today's low rate.
 * Jason: Michelle…
 * Michelle: You know, it's never too early to start planning for your retirement.
 * Jason: That does it. Prepare to--rarrr!
 * Michelle: Hey, Jason!
 * Jason: Come on, hand it over!
 * Michelle: Cut it out!
 * Jason: It's no use resisting.
 * Grandmum: Goodness, muffins, what's all this?
 * Jason: Michelle won't let me see the mail.
 * Grandmum: Now, now, Michelle, what is it the Good Book says? Oh, yes! "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act." I suppose that goes for the mail as well.
 * Michelle: I was gonna give it to him eventually.
 * Grandmum: Let's see, bills, bills, some lovely coupons, a card for Michelle, oh! And here's a nice letter for Jason.
 * Jason: For me? Hey, it's from Trevor! [takes out a photo of Trevor on the anti-gravity simulator] Look, here's a picture of him on the anti-gravity simulator.
 * Michelle: Personally, I never understood why a bunch of kids would wait in line just to get nauseous.
 * Grandmum: Well, come along, bugs. We'll all read our mail over some delicious prune trifle.
 * Jason: Yeah, here we can get nauseous without the weight.


 * [Jason lays on the couch reading Trevor's letter]
 * Trevor: [voice-over] And being weightless is so cool. Friday we learned all about space storms. Rocket science is a real blast. Get it? Ha, ha. Hey, remember that day we went to Astroland and rode on the Twister 28 times in a row? Nobody can take centrifugal force like you and me, right? I really wish you were here. Stuff's always more fun when you're around. Well, I gotta go meet John Glenn. Write soon, and tell me all the exciting things you've been doing. Your pal, Trevor.
 * Michelle: Grandmum, the sink's leaking again!
 * Grandmum: Well, we'll fix it up in a jiffy. Just need to find my supply of duct tape. [enters the living room; to Jason, laying on the couch] Nice of Trevor to write you, wasn't it? I'm sure he misses you a lot.
 * Jason: Yeah, I can tell.
 * Grandmum: You should write him back right away. I'll bet he'd love hearing from you. You can tell him all about what you've been doing.
 * Michelle: [coming down the stairs] Good idea! There was that one paperclip chain you made, and helping Grandmum put on her hair net, and that awful morning we, uh, ran out of toast.
 * Grandmum: Woah, don't like to think about that too much.
 * Jason: [sits up and gets off the couch] Well, I'm sure Trevor is having too much fun to bother reading any letter from me.
 * Grandmum: You know, love, he might be a little homesick. Hearing from you could be just what the doctor ordered.
 * Jason: Yeah, I think I'll just go upstairs.
 * Grandmum: I'm sure you'll do the right thing, dear.


 * Fidgel: We are headed for Space Colony Doublewide. It's interstellar cyclonic doom funnel season there. And our cargo is their supply of emergency duct tape.
 * Jason: Emergency duct tape?
 * Fidgel: Yes, it's for lashing space colony modules together. Otherwise, they slip their moorings, and those fragile trailers bash each other in the high winds, until they're splintered into smithereens. If we don't get it there in time, the entire population is done for!


 * Midgel: [checks the fuel gauge, noticing the ship's fuel is nearly empty] Empty. We're running on fumes. You told me you prepared everything for the mission!
 * Zidgel: Of course! And here it is! Styling gel, mousse, conditioner.
 * Midgel: But what about gas? You said you got gas.
 * Zidgel: And I did! But I'm feeling much better now, thank you.
 * Midgel: [snapping irately] I meant rocket fuel!
 * Zidgel: Oh.
 * Jason: Uh, guys, wouldn't it be a good idea to get some more fuel quick before we totally run out?


 * Jason: What's that?
 * Kevin: Not sure really, I got it free with my Prune Trifle burrito.
 * Jason: [reading] "B-I-N-G, Beneficial Imprinting Neuralnet Gizmo."
 * Kevin: B.I.N.G.
 * Jason: Look, here's the button to start it. [presses a button on the back and a flashbulb pops out, flashing Kevin as he covers his eyes] Hey, you guys, check this out.
 * Fidgel: Most interesting. I believe that B.I.N.G. has somehow imprinted on Kevin's behavior, like a newborn duckling does with the first creature it sees.


 * Kevin: Goodbye, B.I.N.G. I won't forget you.
 * Zidgel: Did I miss something? Seems to me we're down one robot in the deal.
 * Jason: Kevin just realized that it was wrong to keep B.I.N.G. to himself when he had a chance to do good for the professor and the whole colony. "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act."


 * Jason: [writing a letter to Trevor; voice-over] And just today, I found this really excellent mouse named Preston. Well, guess that's about it. Glad you're having a great summer, too. As someone I know once said, "Ain't nothing like a best friend." Oh, in case you're a little homesick, here's something to help cheer you up. Maybe next year, we can try to break our record on that coaster. Signed, your best bud, Jason.


 * [Jason and Michelle say their prayers before going to bed]
 * Jason and Michelle: Dear God…
 * Michelle: Please bless Grandmum and keep Mom and Dad safe on their trip.
 * Jason: And thank you for teaching me the importance of doing good things for people whenever I have the chance. And please watch over Preston. He's a really great mouse.
 * Michelle: Even if he did eat the bridal bouquet.
 * Jason and Michelle: Amen.

Moon Menace on Planet Tell-a-Lie!

 * Grandmum: Like the Good Book says, "Lies will get any man into trouble, but honesty is its own defense."

I Scream, You Scream!

 * Admiral Strap: Penguins! Come in, penguins!
 * Zidgel: Admiral Strap, sir! [salutes]
 * Michelle: Uh, who's that?
 * Fidgel: That's Admiral Strap. Our commander at Federation HQ.


 * [The Rockhopper arrives at Grandmum's cottage in the attic, sending Jason and Michelle back]
 * Zigel: Well, until next time, cadets!
 * Midgel: G'bye, mates!
 * Jason and Michelle: Goodbye!
 * [As Fidgel fires the galeezle, the claw pops out and falls on the floor, covered in gum]
 * Michelle: Oh no, what happened?
 * Jason: What happened?! Can't you see? The thing's broken!
 * Michelle: How?
 * Fidgel: [examines the gum] Hmm…corn syrup, soy lecithin, and titanium dioxide, if I'm not very much mistaken. A construct otherwise known as…
 * Jason: Hubby chubby bubble gum! Oh no! [points angrily at Michelle] It was you! You must have spit it out when the galeezel pulled us in!
 * Michelle: I wasn't the only one with hubby chubby! You were chewing it too!
 * Jason: I swallowed mine!
 * Michelle: Well, I didn't do it! You must have done it!
 * Jason: I didn't do it! You did!
 * Michelle: No, you did!
 * Zidgel: Ah, ah! Temper, temper. Here we go, accusing each other again! Remember what old Sol told us: not smart without all the facts.
 * Jason: Well, the fact is we aren't going to be able to get back to Grandmum's and it's all Michelle's fault!
 * Michelle: Can you fix it, Fidgel?
 * Fidgel: Well, um…it's not…Well, I can try.
 * Jason: "Try?!" Oh no! We're going to stay this size? I'm only as big as my little finger!
 * Michelle: Can you make it work again?
 * Fidgel: [pulls out a small, burned out device covered in gum] This is what makes it work. The metric magnetic matter disperser. The only one in existence as far as I know! Without this, the galeezle is useless! I fear the bubble gum has burnt it out.


 * Fidgel: Jason, Michelle, would you like a sandwich?
 * Jason: No. I just want Grandmum's cocoa.
 * Michelle: I thought you weren't talking to me.
 * Jason: I wasn't talking to you, you galeezle breaker!
 * Michelle: I didn't break it. You did! Your gum must've come out when you were screaming like a baby.
 * Jason: Screaming like a baby?!
 * Michelle: Yes, you always scream like a baby when galeezled into the ship!
 * Zidge: [angrily enters the main room after taking a shower with his hair all droopy] KEVIN! YOU'VE BEEN INTO MY SHAMPOO AGAIN!
 * Midgel: Calm down, captain.
 * Zidgel: Calm down? Calm down?! Listen to me! "Ridiculous proportions shampoo" is shampoo! Do you hear me? Shampoo! But you always use it as a body wash! A body wash! Do you know how much body you have to wash?!
 * Midgel: Now wait just a minute, captain. Didn't you say earlier that we shouldn't be too quick to accuse each other? [gasps as he sees his poster lying in the table; outraged] Doc! Doc! What have you done to my poster?!
 * Fidgel: I-I just needed something to protect the table.
 * Midgel: Do you know how much this is worth?! It was from the last tour of the Boomerangutans!
 * Fidgel: [offended] Well, if you wouldn't leave your quarters in such a mess, how am I to know what's rare and what's rubbish?
 * [As the penguins argue with each other, Jason and Michelle cover their ears]
 * Jason: Nice going, Michelle!
 * Michelle: What?! Now you're blaming me for this?!
 * Jason: We wouldn't even be here if you hadn't broken the galeezle!

Lazy Daze

 * [The Rockhopper pulls up at the Comet Lounge]
 * Zidgel: Captain's blog, we're going on a picnic.
 * Michelle: So, what are we doing here?
 * Midgel: Had to stop off for some supplies, first. Soda pop, sandwiches, you know.
 * Fidgel: Don't forget the chocolate bars and marshmallows!
 * Jason: Oh, great! I love eating s'mores!
 * Fidgel: Eating? Oh no, I need them for a new fuel experiment.
 * Midgel: Now don't take all day with your science project stuff, Doctor. We're here to get in, get supplies, and get out. No nonsense.
 * Fidgel: I assure you, my experiments are not nonsense.
 * Midgel: What about the time you tried to make glass invisible so you can see through it?
 * Fidgel: Well, it worked, didn't it?


 * Jason: What's wrong with being lazy?
 * Sol: Well, just think, if I didn't work around here, nobody would get served, dirty dishes would pile up. Pretty soon the whole place would stink!
 * Michelle: Like Jason's room!
 * Sol: [chuckles] Old Sol says, "The lazy person wants many things, but has nothing; but the person who is diligent and hardworking truly has it all." You want to be diligent, right, kids?
 * Jason: Actually, the picnic sounds more fun.
 * Sol: [laughs] I'm sure it does. You just keep an eye on those ants, you hear?
 * Jason: We will. Is it just me, or is he weird?


 * Fidgel: [opens the storage bay, finding it a huge mess inside] Oh, dear me.
 * Midgel: What's got your knickers in a knot, doc?
 * Fidgel: Well, I'm scheduled to run a diagnostic test on the Harryhausen ray, but it's in the back of this storage bay, and I can't get to it.
 * Midgel: Harryhausen ray? What's that?
 * Fidgel: Oh, it's simply a device that halts movement on a molecular level.
 * Midgel: [not understanding] In the Queen's English, Fidge.
 * Fidgel: Yes. It stops action, freezes things in time and space.
 * Midgel: Classic. But it looks like you could use some help.
 * Fidgel: Oh, why thank you.
 * Midgel: If I see anyone available, I'll send 'em round.
 * Fidgel: [enters Jason's room, finding Jason lying on his bed] Hello, Jason. I hear you're looking to earn some extra money for sea chimps?
 * Jason: Yeah!
 * Fidgel: Well, the storage bay is in a bit of a mess. What say I hire you to clean it?
 * Jason: Hire? You mean like a job? I'm kinda busy. Maybe later. Uh, doc? Turn the page for me. I can't reach.

Give and Let Give

 * Jason: [enters Michelle's room as he follows the smelling scent and spots a cupcake on the table, but as he tries to take it, Michelle snatches it from him] Let me have a cupcake. I'll tell Grandmum you've learned your lesson when we get back.
 * Michelle: No. I made them, I say who gets one.
 * Jason: You won't give me one because you're still mad about play-ser tag. [holds up the toy set of said game]
 * Michelle: Yeah, it was no fair. I was sick of being it.
 * Jason: [puts on the play-ser shield] At least I shared with you.
 * Michelle: You gave me the broken one.
 * Jason: This one? It's a new invention. Fidgel even said it didn't work right. turns on the device and a straight and spiral beam fires and goes around the room until it reaches him]
 * Michelle: No, thanks, that thing is a play-ser tag magnet. Wherever I hid in the room, that beam would find me. I was it the whole time!
 * Jason: Fine, but it's not my fault it doesn't work. Keep your stale old cupcakes. [leaves the room in a huff]

Wiki Tiki

 * Grandmum: Michelle, is this the way I've taught you to rinse the dishes?
 * Michelle: [sees the sink overflowing; alarmed] Oh no! [quickly turns it off and places a towel on the wet floor]
 * Grandmum: And, Jason, you didn't replace the plastic liner in this trash can.
 * Jason: Sorry, Grandmum, I'll go get it right now.
 * Michelle: I guess I was in too big a hurry. I'm sorry.
 * Grandmum: Remember what the Good Book says, "Enthusiasm without knowledge is no good. Haste makes mistakes."
 * Jason: Is that a real proverb?
 * Grandmum: It jolly well is. Take the time to listen and do it right the first time.
 * Jason: Like the trash liner. I'm on it.
 * Grandmum: You'll just make a mess if you rush.


 * Jason: Now where's that spaceship? It was right here!
 * Michelle: Jason, you heard Grandmum. We got to put the clean sheets on our beds.
 * Jason: I did.
 * Michelle: [sternly] Jason.
 * Jason: It's fine. I'll make the bed later. [Midgel galeezles both him and Michelle into the Rockhopper] Whoa, definitely later.
 * Michelle: Hey, thanks, Midgel. Where is everybody?
 * Midgel: Sorry, Michelle, no time for chit chat, we got to get going. [The kids are strapped to their seats and buckle up] The others are at the Comet Lounge making sure Sol doesn't run out of the afternoon special.
 * Jason and Michelle: Sol's Aurora Borealis fruit punch!
 * Jason: What are we waiting for?!
 * Jason, Michelle, and Midgel: BONSAI!


 * [The Rockhopper arrives at the Comet Lounge and Jason, Michelle, and Midgel enter where the rest of the crew are already there]
 * Midgel: Where's the aurora borealis punch?
 * Fidgel: Sol hasn't lit the sign, yet.
 * Midgel: Whew. I'd hate to miss the aurora borealis. Best fruit punch in the galaxy.
 * Fidgel: Hey, I was in line first.
 * Zidgel: Captains first, then everyone else.


 * Jason: You were right, Michelle. We didn't take our time and we made mistakes.
 * Michelle: Captain Zidgel? Jason and I have realized something.
 * Zidgel: Can't stop it. Tried everything.
 * Jason: Captain, we have tried everything, except listening.
 * Zidgel: Listening? What do you mean?
 * Michelle: Grandmum told us, enthusiasm without knowledge is no good.
 * Jason: And haste makes mistakes.
 * Zidgel: Translated, means…is this a tongue twister?
 * Fidgel: Wait, I think I know. Rushing to do things in your own enthusiasm instead of taking time to understand and think causes problems.
 * Midgel: Cuz you'll just make a mess if you hurry.
 * Kevin: Yeah, big mess.
 * Jason: Right, we've been in such a hurry to get back to the Comet Lounge for Sol's aurora borealis fruit punch--
 * Michelle: That we've been running with the first ideas that popped into our heads. Nobody listened to the tiki king.

Invasion of the Body Swappers!

 * Midgel: Hey, Mish, everything all right?
 * Michelle: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Midgel, do you, do you think I'm pretty?
 * Midgel: What? [nervously laughs] Well, to tell you the truth, Michelle, I really don't know much about that sort of thing. To me, the prettiest thing in the world is the Rockhopper. She's a beaut, she is.
 * Fidgel: [tweaking the galeezle as Michelle enters the main room] Oh, hello, dear. I've been tweaking the galeezle device. Would you like to help me?
 * Michelle: Fidgel, do you think I'm pretty?
 * Fidgel: Pretty? Uh, well, pretty is as pretty does, as my mom always used to say. [pulls out a photo of his mother] Ah, Mum was the prettiest woman in the world.

Wise Guys

 * Jason: No, that was not my fault. It was the lousy time machine. It didn't even work!
 * Michelle: Or maybe you didn't listen to any advice!