50 First Dates

50 First Dates is a 2004 comedy film starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore about a man afraid of commitment, until he meets the girl of his dreams. But then he discovers she has short-term memory loss and forgets him every day.
 * Directed by Peter Segal and written by George Wing.

'''Imagine having to win over the girl of your dreams... every friggin' day.'''

Henry Roth

 * Happy birthday, sir. What are you, like, 200 today?


 * I have no life.


 * Sorry I'm not better lookin’.


 * Shit your pants? So did I.


 * Hey, Ula! Get back to cleaning the pool! And if that's one of your special brownies, don't let any of the dolphins eat that.

Lucy Whitmore

 * Can I have one last first kiss?


 * [repeated line] There's nothing like a first kiss..

Ula

 * [to his children] You kids suck; you're good at everything!


 * My shirt size is medium husky.


 * Sharks are like dogs. They only bite when you touch their private parts.


 * Your golf ball hit the cart, bounced back and hit you in the head. It was freakin' hilarious.


 * [Pretending to be Lucy for the video] Aquariums make me super horny.


 * Get your brother out of the dishwasher!


 * You got a cat? 'Cause I feel somethin' lickin' me.

Ten-Second Tom

 * [repeated line] Hi, I'm Tom!
 * Don't you think you're a little old to still be having wet dreams? (laughter) Hi, I'm Tom!

Old Hawaiian Man

 * Are you staring at me or her? 'Cause you're starting to freak me out.
 * [About Henry's drawing on a napkin] Can I have that? I need something to wipe my ass with.

Others

 * Alexa: [After an aborted one-night stand with a woman] I guess I prefer sausage to taco.

Dialogue

 * Security Guard 1: Hey Lucy, good to see you again!
 * [Lucy walks by quietly]
 * Security Guard 1: What the hell is her problem?
 * Security Guard 2: She doesn't remember who you are, brah.
 * Security Guard 1: Oh, yeah. I suck at this job!


 * [After Lucy beat up Ula with a bat]
 * Ula: Oh, you crazy bitch!
 * Lucy: Yeah, KEEP RUNNING!


 * Lucy: [to Henry] I hardly know you.
 * Marlin: Actually sweetie, you're kind of dating him.
 * [Lucy looks at Henry]
 * Henry: Yeah. Sorry I'm not better lookin’.


 * Doug: Thith ith from Nick and Thue. They thend their betht witheth for a thafe trip.
 * Henry: That's very nice. Spam and Reese's. All right.
 * Doug: I love Thpam and Ree-thith, can I have it?
 * Henry: Um, I guess.
 * Marlin: Doug!


 * Kid: What's wrong with that turtle?
 * Henry: He has lung problems because he smoked too much turtle weed, which is bad for you. Right, Ula?
 * Ula: Wha? I don't smoke weed!


 * [While playing golf, Ula has ripped the stitches over a shark bite on his waist]
 * Ula: You think you can stitch me up tonight after I get back from surfing?
 * Henry: Yeah, I'm lookin’ forward to it.
 * Caddy: I wouldn't surf with a bleeding wound like that. You might attract a shark or something.
 * Ula: What's wrong with that, cuz? Sharks are naturally peaceful.
 * Caddy: Is that right? How'd you get that nasty cut anyway?
 * Ula: A shark bit me.
 * Caddy: Nice! Go smoke another one, bro!


 * Old Hawaiian Man: That was pathetic.
 * Henry: Yeah? Why don't you choke on your Spam!


 * Nick: What did Sue say?
 * Henry: She said that if I talk to Lucy you'll kill me with a meat cleaver.


 * Dr. Keats: Was your head shaped like an egg before she hit you?
 * Doug: Hey! Don't make fun of Henry, all right? It'th not hith fault hith head'th thaped like that!
 * Dr. Keats: Note the intense overreaction. That's the 'roids talking. Douglas, once again, off the juice.
 * Doug: It'th not juith! It'th a protein thake!


 * [Henry sticks a tooth pick in Lucy's waffle house]
 * Henry: Here, you should try this out. Put this here. Swivelly door. Waffleonians can come in and out now.
 * Lucy: Oh, are you from a country where it's okay to stick your fingers all over someone else's food?
 * Henry: Uh, no, I'm from this country. [pause] Were you gonna eat that?


 * [Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car, upsetting Lucy]
 * Henry: Hah! I can't believe you fell for that!
 * Lucy: My grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car...
 * Henry: Oh...I'm so sorry...I was just joking around.
 * Lucy: I can't believe you fell for THAT! HA HA!


 * Update Video: Red Sox win World Series!... Just kidding.
 * Update Video: Schwarzenegger elected governor!... Not kidding.


 * Dr. Keats: Tom lost part of his brain in a hunting accident. His memory only lasts ten seconds.
 * Ten Second Tom: I was in an accident? That's terrible.
 * Dr. Keats: Don't worry, you're totally gonna get over it in about three seconds.
 * Ten Second Tom: Get over it? I mean, what happened? Did I get shot in the brain... Hi. I'm Tom.


 * Henry: [begging Marlin to let Henry see Lucy and apologize after she ate at the diner] I don't want it to end like this.
 * Doug: Yeah, well, it's gonna end like thith!
 * [Doug runs to beat up Henry but then Henry holds him down]
 * Henry: Calm down, little fella!
 * Doug: Okay, I'm calm!
 * [pause]
 * Doug: I coulda whooped his ath, Daddy, but this gravel - I thlipped on it and fell.
 * Marlin: Then maybe you need to do a little bit more butt flexes.
 * Doug: Cheap shot, Dad.


 * Henry: I don't think that's an option, Lisa.
 * Linda: Linda.
 * Henry: I know. I changed your name for your protection.


 * Nick: Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups!
 * Henry: Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-in-One-Punch!


 * Lucy: Wonder what's the matter with him.
 * Old Hawaiian Man: Looks like a stupid asshole to me.

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 * Kid: Daddy, what's a nympho?


 * Ula: Uh, the nympho is the state bird of Ohio.


 * Kids: Ohhh.
 * Henry: [to Ula] You're the state idiot of Hawaii.

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 * [Henry has just said "I Do" in his commitment to Lucy on the tape.]
 * Ula: Really? Even though in like 10-15 years, she could possibly let herself go and then like, sex could be like, nauseating for you.
 * Henry: What are you, nuts? Your wife's right over there.
 * [Ula faces his insulted, obese wife, who flips him off in retaliation.]
 * Ula: I'm just kidding, Mumu.

Cast

 * Adam Sandler - Henry Roth
 * Drew Barrymore - Lucy Whitmore
 * Rob Schneider - Ula
 * Sean Astin - Doug Whitmore
 * Lusia Strus - Alexa
 * Dan Aykroyd - Dr. Keats
 * Amy Hill - Sue
 * Allen Covert - Ten Second Tom
 * Blake Clark - Marlin Whitmore
 * Maya Rudolph - Stacy
 * Pomaika'i Brown - Nick
 * Joe Nakashima - Old Hawaiian Man
 * Peter Dante - Security Guard
 * Dom Magwili - Security Guard
 * Jonathan Loughran - Jennifer