A Dirty Shame

A Dirty Shame is a 2004 film about an uptight, middle-aged, repressed woman who turns into a sex addict after getting hit on the head. She then falls into an underground subculture of sex addicts in suburban Baltimore.
 * Written and directed by John Waters.

Threatening the very limits of common decency.

Sylvia

 * Can't you see I'm cooking scrapple!
 * My pussy's on fire!
 * PINK STEEL!
 * I'm just Sylvia Stickles, I'm a horny woman with a head injury.
 * Help me to keep my sexual sobriety!
 * I'm Sylvia, and my clitoris is in crisis
 * I'm Sylvia Stickles and I've got the itch!

Ray Ray

 * A concussion is a terrible thing to waste.
 * I've got a hard-on of gold, and my tongue is on fire.
 * One day we're going to discover a brand new sex act, one that's never been performed before. And we hope you'll be with us on that day of carnal rapture!

Vaughn

 * A man has needs, Sylvia! Marital needs!

Big Ethel

 * We got blatant homosexuals shopping right in our store. They eat life you know. Sperm!
 * Did you see those new neighbors moving in? Grown men with hairy legs prancing around half-naked? "We're bears." What the hell is that supposed to mean?!

Marge

 * Filthy little hedges, growing all dirty! Makes me sick!
 * I read in the paper the other day that the average married couple has sex over 100 times a year! That's a lie, people would be raw if that was true!
 * I'm going to call the postmaster general — if he's not whacking off! — and report your potty mouth!

Others

 * Decency Rally Attendant: Look, I'm not a prude, I'm married to an Italian.
 * Old Woman: I seen you, Sylvia Stickles. Showin your pubic patch to the bus driver! You should move downtown where you belong, ya whore!
 * Cow Patty: [upon seeing Big Ethel] Wow, a tranny bear!
 * Doctor: Sylvia, you have what is known as a runaway vagina.
 * Paige: Admit to God you are a whore. Make a list of all the people you've fucked, and apologize to their parents.
 * Dora: All this yelling's giving me a Swedish headache. You know what I mean? Horny! Nothing wrong with beating the beaver once in a while.
 * Caprice: Let my mother's pussy be!
 * Sex Addicts Group: HALT! Horny! Anal! Lustful! TITTIES!

Dialogue

 * Sylvia: You were convicted of indecent exposure for the third time!
 * Caprice: I was promoting the art of dance!
 * Sylvia: With nude loitering? Nude and disorderly conduct? Nude drunken driving?!
 * Caprice: I was not DRUNK! I was on PILLS!
 * Sylvia: Something is the matter with you, Caprice!
 * Caprice: You are SUCH a neuter, mother! And neuters will never understand!
 * Sylvia: Something is the matter with your vagina!


 * Betty: Don't you find it funny that every man in this neighborhood has a penis? [giggles]
 * Vaughn: Well, not really, Betty.


 * Driver: Hurry up! I've got a hot date!
 * Sylvia: What, at 7 am?! What's the matter with you?
 * Female Driver: You'd have a date too if you wore some makeup!


 * Vaughn: Good morning Big Ethel.
 * Big Ethel: What's good about a morning with dildos in it?
 * Shopper: Amen to that! My husband's on Viagra!
 * Big Ethel: Oh you poor thing!
 * Shopper: Every minute he wants it!
 * Marge: He has no right to be that hard!
 * Shopper: I'm Viagra-vated and I'm not going to take it anymore!


 * Big Ethel: We're having a decency rally.
 * Resident: You'd better start in your own back yard then. I heard your daughter Sylvia picked up a bottle with her cooter in the old folks' home!
 * Big Ethel: That's not true! My daughter's a good girl, she hates sex!


 * Officer Alvin: I'm an adult baby, Sylvia. You want to be my Mommy?
 * Ray Ray: Adult babies are into age regression. They intensely eroticize being infants, and, sometimes they like to be burped.
 * Officer Alvin: I'm a big boy! And I'm beyond the law.


 * Papa Bear: We're husky, we're hairy, we're homosexual, and out of the second closet!
 * Mama Bear: And we can cuddle all night!


 * Big Ethel: Do you know how embarrassing this is for me? One nymphomaniac in the family is bad enough, but two?!
 * Vaughn: It's a disease, Big Ethel.
 * Big Ethel: Bein' a whore is a disease?!


 * Dora: Ever take a roofie?
 * Sylvia: NO!
 * Dora: Me neither. I'm afraid I'd stay home and date-rape myself all night long!

Cast

 * Tracey Ullman - Sylvia Stickles
 * Johnny Knoxville - Ray Ray Perkins
 * Selma Blair - Caprice Stickles
 * Chris Isaak - Vaughn Stickles
 * Suzanne Shepherd - Big Ethel
 * Mink Stole - Marge the Neuter
 * Patricia Hearst - Paige