A Muppet Family Christmas

A Muppet Family Christmas is a 1987 Christmas television special starring the Muppets. It features four of the major Muppet franchises as a crossover: The Muppet Show, Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock and Muppet Babies.

Dialogue

 * Doc: Excuse me, Ms. Bear. Remember me? I rented this place to have a nice quiet Christmas.
 * Animal: Peace on Earth. Give me presents!

[Sprocket barks at Animal]
 * Doc: Be careful, Sprocket. These could be from some foreign planet.
 * Emily Bear: Actually, they're from television. I recognize Fozzie's weirdo friends.
 * Dr. Teeth: Yeah, and we're proud of it, too!
 * Sam the Eagle: Why am I here?
 * Doc: [to Sprocket]: Tell me Spocket: are these anything like those Fraggles that you keep on telling me?

 [Christmas Turkey is flirting with Camilla]
 * Turkey: I take it chicken little, you're my kind of poultry
 * Gonzo: Camilla! What is going on here?
 * Turkey: You got some fine drumsticks there my fine feathered mama.
 * Gonzo: But Camilla's MY girlfriend!
 * Turkey: You've gotta be kidding. You're not even a bird!
 * Gonzo: Well, nobody's perfect.

 [The Sesame Street gang is singing Deck the Halls]
 * Ernie: See the blazing yule before us.
 * All: Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
 * Bert: Strike the harp and join the chorus.
 * All: Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
 * Oscar the Grouch: I will NOT sing this song!
 * All: Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!


 * Ernie: Oh, hi there. Hey, we're Ernie and Bert.
 * Doc: Well, hi there yourself, I'm Doc.
 * Bert: Did you know that Doc starts with the letter "D"?
 * Doc: Why, yes.
 * Ernie: Yes! Yes starts with the letter "Y".
 * Doc: True.
 * Ernie: And true starts with the letter "T".
 * Doc: Hey, what is this?
 * Bert: Where we come from, this is small talk.


 * Emily Bear: Alright, the huge canary sleeps in the attic with the cookie-eater. The blue monster said he'll sleep in the bathtub. And Ernie and Bert will bunk out with the lizard here.
 * Kermit the Frog: Frog. Kermit the Frog.
 * Fozzie Bear: What about Oscar?
 * Oscar the Grouch: No, I'll be nicely miserable in my trash can here.
 * Rizzo the Rat: Hey, maybe I could bunk out with you?
 * Oscar the Grouch: I never had a rat in my trash can before.


 * Janice: Hey, everybody, look what I've got: Christmas cookies!
 * Cookie Monster: COOKIE! [gobbles up the whole basket] Oh, thank you!
 * Janice: Who was that strange blue creature?
 * Animal: Dat my kinda fella!


 * Ernie: Hey, everybody, it's time for our Sesame Street pageant. It's called 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. Come on out Bert.
 * Bert: I won't
 * Ernie: Come on, Bert.
 * Bert: Ernie, please don't make me
 * Ernie: Bert, listen, everyone's waiting.

[Bert comes out dressed as MaMa]
 * Bert: Ernie, why must you always humiliate me?
 * Ernie: Come one, Bert. Somebody has to play MaMa, and you lost the toss.

 [The 'Twas the Night Before Christmas play continues]
 * Ernie: "...I sprang from my bed to see what's the matter" ... Open the curtain!

[The curtain opens to reveal various Sesame Street monsters playing the reindeer]
 * Bert: Monsters as reindeer? This is crazy! And where's Santa Claus?
 * Ernie: Don't worry Bert. We're getting to him. [returning back to read the story] "With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick."

[The Two-Headed Monster appears, with each head wearing a white beard]
 * Sam the Eagle: Is nothing sacred?
 * Bert: Now what a minute. Who let the Two-Headed Monster be Santa Claus?
 * Ernie: But Bert, he said he never been in a play before ... I mean they said it ... both of them said it.


 * Doc: Boy, that storm is getting worse.
 * Kermit the Frog: I hope Miss Piggy is ok.
 * Doc: There is one worried frog.
 * Count von Count: That's one! One worried frog!
 * Robin: He's not the only one.
 * Count von Count: That two! Two worried frogs!
 * Doc: [to Spocket after the Count leaves] Search me, more small talk I think.


 * Kermit the Frog: We just came down here to wish you all a Merry Christmas.
 * Wembley Fraggle: What's Christmas?
 * Robin: Don't you have Christmas?
 * Red Fraggle: No.
 * Robin: Well, that's when you gather together with the people you love, and you wish each other peace on earth.
 * Red Fraggle: We have a time like that.
 * Mokey Fraggle: Yes, we do. As a matter of fact we're celebrating it right now. We give each other little presents. I'm giving Boober this nice shiny pebble.
 * Red Fraggle: And I gave Mokey that pebble last year.
 * Wembley Fraggle: And I gave it to Red that year before that.
 * Boober Fraggle: And I gave it to you, Wembley, the year before that.
 * Gobo Fraggle: That pebble has been a gift 37 times.


 * Robin: And speaking of presents, Grover, I'd like you to have this Fraggle pebble.
 * Grover: This Fraggle pebble here is for me? Oh, I just love Christmas!