A Really Haunted Loud House

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A Really Haunted Loud House is a 2023 live-action adaptation Halloween television film based on the animated television series.

Dialogue

 * Lincoln: It's 24 hours until Halloween, and Clyde and I are super pumped for trick-or-treating.
 * Clyde: After years of research, we have finally created the ultimate route to maximize candy consumption. We are gonna crush our candy record.


 * Luna: Is your spine tingling?
 * Lincoln: Definitely. My bones are chilled to the bone.


 * Lincoln: Why do I always have to be your mannequin?
 * Lola: You have a perfect model's body. Very little muscle structure.
 * Leni: And those hips!


 * Xander: Mom, I don't wanna get a filling. I'm supposed to do my fit check in front of the bowling alley.
 * Mrs. Coddington: You're going in there. Today's the only day Dr. Miller can see you.
 * Lincoln: Actually, Dr. Miller can't see you today. My sister scared Barbara, and she stabbed him in the cheek with a giant needle.
 * Barbara: [goes up to the desk] He's right.
 * [Mrs. Coddington scoffs in disbelief over this]
 * Xander: Bet. I'm outta here.


 * Lana: Say hello to the Candy Cannon Extreme. I built this baby using an old leaf blower, a telescope, and the motor from Mr. Grouse's lawnmower.


 * Zach: I can't believe you guys got invited to Xander Coddington's party.
 * Stella: They're epic.
 * Liam: He's that Internet feller. Must be nice.
 * Stella: He doesn't even know I exist.
 * Zach: He doesn't even know my name.
 * Clyde: He knew my name.
 * Rusty: Did he know my name?
 * Lincoln: He remembered you pooped your pants in dodgeball.
 * Rusty: Yes! [points to Liam] In… [then Stella] Your… [then Zach] Faces.
 * Liam: In your gym shorts.


 * [Halloween Night]
 * Lori: Everybody in their places?
 * Luan: Check.
 * Lana: Check.
 * Luna: Check.
 * Rita: Check.
 * Lynn: Check.
 * Lisa: Check.
 * Leni: Check.
 * Lola: Check.
 * Lucy: Check.
 * Lily: Check. Meow.
 * Lori: Candy cannon?
 * Lana: Cannon ready, waiting for candy.
 * Lori: Lynn, how's it coming with the headless horseman?
 * Lynn: Still headless. [eats some candy] Mmm. Ketchup.
 * Lana: Mom, where's the candy?
 * Rita: [enters Lori and Leni's room with an unusual box; sighs] After our disastrous trip to the dentist, I realized the error of our ways. No more cavities. So this year, we're giving away toothbrushes. [dumps out toothbrushes and toothpaste from the box and into the cannon in slow-motion]
 * Lana: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [echoes]
 * Rita: Oh, yeah. I got a bunch more. [leaves]
 * Lana: This is bad.


 * Fairy Girl: [unimpressed] Toothbrushes?
 * Louds: Toothbrushes?!
 * Fairy Girl: And toothpaste?
 * Bear Boy: [unimpressed] Seriously?
 * Lori: [trying to cover it up] No, no, no, it's just a little candy mix-up. [angrily on comm to Lana] Where are the treats?!
 * Rita: I threw it away. [chuckles] Don't forget to brush!
 * Bear Boy's Mom: Don't tooth-shame my kid!
 * Rita: Uh-oh.
 * Crowd: [resuming chanting] CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY!
 * Lori: Code Red. WE HAVE A HALLOWEEN EMERGENCY!


 * Liam: We've got a full moon, it's Halloween, and still no cryptids.
 * Stella: Hey, where's Zach?
 * Zach: [emerges emerges from the ground, disguised as moss and startling his friends] Hey.
 * Rusty: How long were you there?!
 * Zach: Hard to tell. Fell asleep. Probably a good hour.


 * Lincoln: Clyde, how did we screw this up so bad?
 * Clyde: Hey, I was just rockin' out. You're the one who launched a microphone at Xander's forehead.
 * Lincoln: Yep. We blew it.
 * Clyde: You blew it.
 * Lincoln: Hey, at least we knocked out a famous influencer. That'll be a cool story to tell someday.
 * Clyde: [sarcastically] Yeah, to all the parties we're not invited to.
 * [Everyone's phones suddenly chimes, as does Lincoln and Clyde's]
 * Johnny: Guys, you're not gonna believe this. Some house is giving away toothbrushes instead of candy. This is outrageous!
 * Xander: [fed up] Why is everyone pushing dental care?! I'm so sick of... dental care!


 * Leni: So, I'm not exactly sure what's going on here. But I do know it's not good.
 * Lynn: So not good.
 * Lola: We could build a time machine and go back in time before you handed out those toothbrushes.
 * Rita: Helping or hurting, Lola?
 * Lisa: They so much as lay a finger on Esmeralda, they will feel the wrath of Lisa Loud!
 * Lily: Wrath!
 * Todd: No one cares about that pumpkin.
 * Luan: Todd!
 * Todd: What? We were all thinking it.
 * Xander: [posting a live video on his phone] This house needs to remodel. FIRE!
 * [The Xander Nation kids start throwing toilet paper around the Loud House]
 * Lily: Toilet paper!
 * Lana: We're under attack!


 * Rusty: Listen up you over-sized hairball. We are highly-skilled werewolf hunters. Specially trained and laser-focused. Ooh, candy corn!


 * Lisa: [sees that Esmeralda is missing while cleaning up the mess] ESMERALDA! [inside the house, in the kitchen] We have to call the police!
 * Luna: I don't think the police care about a pumpkin.
 * Lisa: We'll file a missing person report.
 * Lucy: She's not a person.
 * Todd: Preach, girl.
 * Lily: Lincoln in pumpkin.
 * Lola: Not now, Lily.
 * Leni: I have a video.
 * Lori: Not now, Leni.
 * Lisa: What kind of person would want to hurt Esmeralda?
 * Todd: [as everyone looks at him] I have an alibi.
 * Lana: Yeah, right, dude. Sure.
 * Lily: Lincoln in pumpkin.
 * Rita: Not now, Lily.


 * Lincoln: The junkyard. Where cars come to die and fear comes to live.
 * Clyde: I can't believe I suggested this place for a Recycling Club field trip.


 * Paul: Crushin' is what I do, baby!
 * Xander: Then fire up that crusher and let's teach that toothbrush house a lesson!


 * Lynn Sr.: So, I'm not a werewolf?
 * Louds: No!
 * Lynn Sr.: I just wanna go home and take a bath and eat a big, round cookie.
 * Rita: We don't have time for that.
 * Lynn Sr.: But I really want a big, round cookie.
 * Rita: Your son and his best friend are in a pumpkin in a car crusher!
 * Leni: And it's being live streamed.
 * Lynn Sr.: The cookie can wait.


 * Luan: Lincoln's gonna get squashed… in a giant squash.
 * Luna: Too soon, Luan!

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 * Luna: Back off, pranksters.
 * Rita: [exits Vanzilla] Whoo! [laughs] What a rush! Don't you ever drive like that.
 * Xander: Who the heck are you?!
 * Lori: We're your worst nightmare.
 * Jenna: What? [The other Louds exit Vanzilla and they all hold up toothbrushes] The toothbrush people.
 * Lucy: Yeah, and we've come to kick some butt.
 * Lincoln: [popping out from Esmeralda's mouth] That's my family!
 * Jenna: What?
 * Louds: Lincoln!
 * Clyde: [also popping out] I'm over there a lot too!
 * Paul: Bro, we have one rule. [points to a sign that reads: "NO people in the crusher!"]
 * Rita: That's a good rule.
 * Xander: So you attacked your own home?!
 * Lincoln: Yeah, but I wish I hadn't. I let my family down. All because I wanted to be in with you and your cool group. But you know what? Nothing's more important than my family.
 * Clyde: Truth, Lincoln.
 * Lori: We love you, Linc.
 * Xander: So you double-crossed me! I got covered in soy sauce and thrown into a coffin because of you?! You're gonna pay for that. [turns to the Loud family] And so is your family. Xander Nation, assemble!
 * Lucy: Release the beast.

Cast

 * Wolfgang Schaeffer – Lincoln Loud
 * Jahzir Bruno – Clyde McBride
 * Lexi Dibenedetto – Lori Loud
 * Eva Carlton – Leni Loud
 * Sophia Woodward – Luna Loud
 * Catherine Ashmore Bradley – Luan Loud
 * Annaka Fourneret – Lynn "LJ" Loud Jr.
 * Aubin Bradley – Lucy Loud
 * Ella Allan – Lola Loud
 * Mia Allan – Lana Loud
 * Lexi Janicek – Lisa Loud
 * August Michael Peterson – Lily Loud
 * Jolie Jenkins – Rita Loud
 * Brian Stepanek – Lynn Loud Sr., voice of Todd
 * Martín Fajardo – Xander Coddington
 * Gavin Maddox Bergman – Liam Hunnicutt
 * Trinity Jo-Li Bliss – Stella Zhau
 * Mateo Castel – Zach Gurdle
 * Nolan Maddox – Rusty Spokes
 * Kevin Chamberlin – Phillip "Flip" Fillipini