Ace Attorney

Ace Attorney is a series of adventure/visual novel games in which players assume the role of new defense attorneys: Phoenix Wright in the first three and Apollo Justice in the fourth. In Miles Edgeworth: Investigations, players assume the role of veteran prosecutor Miles Edgeworth to investigate crime scenes.

= Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney =

Phoenix Wright

 * (referring to his friend Larry) Our school had a saying: "When something smells, it's usually the Butz." In the 23 years I've known him, it's usually been true.
 * The autopsy notes the time of death at sometime after 4 P.M.. There was nobody to... er... no "body" to find at 1:00 PM!
 * Proof enough for you, Mr. Sahwit? Or should I say... Mr. Did It!
 * (TELL. THE. TRUTH.)
 * (LIE. LIKE. A DOG.)

Mia Fey

 * Lies always beget more lies! See through one, and their whole story falls apart!
 * I think I feel a migraine coming on...
 * Try thinking out of the box! Don't waste time doubting the facts. Assume the clock was three hours slow and... Think through it! Ask yourself, "Why was the clock three hours slow"? Figure out the reason, and you'll have your proof!
 * Wright? I hope you see the importance of evidence now. Also, hopefully you realize, things change depending on how you look at them. People, too. We never really know if our clients are guilty or innocent. All we can do is believe in them. And in order to believe in them, you have to believe in yourself.

Other

 * Judge: If you wish to hang yourself, Mr. Wright, you're welcome to, but not inside my courtroom.


 * Judge: Please, Mr. Wright... Is "Huh" the best response you can muster up?

Dialogue (1-1)

 * Butz: We were great together! We were Romeo and Juliet, Cleopatra and Mark Anthony!
 * Phoenix: (Um... didn't they all die?)


 * Judge: Ahem. Mr Wright? This is your first trial, is it not?
 * Phoenix: Y-Yes, Your Honor. I'm, um, a little nervous.
 * Judge: Your conduct during this trial will determine the fate of your client. Murder is a serious charge. For your client's sake, I hope you can control your nerves.
 * Phoenix: Thank... thank you, Your Honor.
 * Judge: Mr Wright, given the circumstances... I think we should have a test to ascertain your readiness.
 * Phoenix: Yes, Your Honor. (Gulp... Hands shaking... Eyesight... fading...)


 * Phoenix: The defendant... well that's me, right?
 * Mia: W-Wright! Have you lost your mind?! Focus! The defendant is the person on trial! You're his lawyer!
 * Phoenix: Oh... Oh right! Ehehehe...
 * Mia: This is no laughing matter. You did pass the bar didn't you?
 * Judge: Sorry, I couldn't hear your answer. I'll ask you again.


 * Phoenix: Oh, right! Wasn't she, um, poisoned by, er... poison?
 * Judge: You're asking me!?


 * Payne: Ahem. Mr. Butz. Is it not true that the victim had recently dumped you?
 * Butz: Hey, watch it buddy! We were great together! We were Romeo and Juliet, Cleopatra and Mark Anthony!
 * Phoenix: (Um... didn't they all die?)
 * Butz: I wasn't dumped! She just wasn't taking my phone calls. Or seeing me... Ever.


 * Payne: You went to the victim's apartment on the day of the murder, did you not?
 * Butz: Gulp!
 * Payne: Well, did you, or did you not?
 * Butz: Heh? Heh heh. Well, maybe I did, and maybe I didn't!
 * Phoenix: (Uh-oh. He went.)


 * Sahwit: Ngh... grrrah!
 * (...) Sahwit's toupee is thrown at Phoenix's face
 * Sahwit: Gwaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Shutupshutupshutup! I hate you!


 * Butz: Don't worry 'bout me! I'll be dead and gone soon!
 * Phoenix: Good! Wait, no! I mean... Bad! Bad bad bad!

Phoenix Wright

 * Why did I become a lawyer in the first place...? Because someone has to look out for the people who have no one on their side.
 * (My heart goes out to you, Edgeworth. Not.)
 * The sky is blue, and so am I...
 * Detective Gumshoe, you're a sham!
 * (Alright! I've got nothing to lose! Except for... well, everything!)
 * (Why do I always feel like it's the end of the world and I'm the last man standing?)
 * Wasn't it you who told me "proof is everything"? Well, I was listening. And now I'll show you the "proof" you like so much!

Miles Edgeworth

 * Amateurs, amateurs. Listen to me, Mr. Wright. In the courtroom, evidence is everything. Without it, you have nothing. You ARE nothing.
 * I object! That was... objectionable!
 * *Shaking* Upstart..! Amateur..! These accusations... are ludicrous!
 * The guilty will always lie, to avoid being found out. There's no way to tell who is guilty and who is innocent! All that I can hope to do is get every defendant declared "guilty"! So I make that my policy.

Redd White

 * Welcome! Please furnish me with the title of your personage! …Your name! What's your name? I was just inquirably asking the title that you go by.
 * My motto is: "Don't worry, be happy!"
 * The police... the courts... To me they are mere toys. Playthings for my amusement!
 * What's wrong? Is something stuck to my face? Why yes! There's my eyes, and my nose, and my mouth.
 * I am always abso-posi-lutely perfect!
 * I gave chase... wait, what?

April May

 * I like a man with a big... vocabulary.
 * What's it to you, porcupine-head!?
 * You... you LAWYER!
 * What is it, you little shrimp!
 * You stinking lawyer! I hope you die!
 * Bottom-feeding, scum-sucking lawyer!

Marvin Grossberg

 * Ah-HHHHEM!
 * "Ah... the days of my youth... like the scent of fresh lemon..." you see.
 * Despite his name, Mr. White has the blackest reputation of any man in this country.

Other

 * Dick Gumshoe: [when asked about blood tests] Huh? What kind? Umm... well... I hear they take the, um, little bits in the blood, the... er... hemo... hemogl... Hermo... goblins... hobgob... Er...? Herma-goblin bobbin... I-I refuse to testify on this matter, sir! I'm no expert on blood tests!


 * Judge: [to April May] The witness will refrain from wanton winking!

Dialogue (1-2)

 * White: Now Miss Fey. I believe I'll take what's mine. The papers.
 * Mia: I'm sorry, I can't give you what I don't have.
 * White: Miss Fey, you are a poor liar. Why I see it over there. That's The Thinker that "swallowed" those papers.
 * Mia: ..! How could you-?
 * White: Hoh hoh! You are not cogniferous of my background? Gathering information is my business, you see.
 * Mia: I-I should have been more careful.
 * White: Hohoho! My dear Miss Fey, I'm sorry but I must ask you for one more thing... Your eternal silence.
 * Mia: ...!! *she is struck by The Thinker* Red...White...Blue...


 * Phoenix: Um... Gumtree, was it? Detective Gumtree?
 * Gumshoe: G-Gumtree...? Gum doesn't grow on trees, pal!


 * Gumshoe: [To Phoenix] Anyway, get the name right. And don't go calling me "Dick"...
 * Police: Hey, Dick! Get over here!
 * Gumshoe: Y-yes, sir!


 * Grossberg: *Ah-HHHHEM!*
 * Phoenix: (If that wasn't the most over-the-top clearing of the throat I've ever heard!)


 * Gumshoe: But...!
 * Phoenix: No "but"-ing your way out of this one, Detective!


 * April: I-impossible! Everything is sold in stores!
 * Phoenix: Miss May, I think it's high time you went shopping for a better excuse...?
 * April: Mmpf...
 * Phoenix: Oh? Excuses not on sale today?
 * April: Oooh? Oh ho ho. Mmmrrrrrph! [Roars in anger, and dramatically changes to her angry personality] What's it to you, porcupine-head!?


 * Edgeworth: Your Honor, this is ridiculous!
 * Phoenix: Your Honor, look at the witness's face? Does she seem amused to you!?

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 * Phoenix: (Hah! I'd like to see her pull THAT off!)
 * April: Mr. Lawyer, I saw that evil, evil grin! You were probably thinking "I'd like to see her pull THAT off," weren't you!
 * Phoenix: (Damn... she's good!)

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 * April: Spiky-head!
 * Phoenix: (Here we go again...) Please, you're scaring the security guard.
 * April: ... So? What is it you wish to ask of me, then? Hmm?
 * Phoenix: (For starters, how did you get to be so totally whacked!?)

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 * April: (When presenting incorrect evidence) Hey guess what? Actually, I really hate your guts. So get lost because, well I'm not co-operating.
 * Phoenix: (Thanks, I noticed...)

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 * Phoenix: (Looking at the window of the Gatewater) I can see the Fey & Co. Law Offices, of course.
 * Bellboy: Ah, yes. We plan to install a telescope in that window, of course. Just $5.00 will earn you three minutes of a "view to a kill"!
 * Phoenix: ...
 * Bellboy: J-just kidding, sir. Oh hoh hoh hoh!
 * Phoenix: (By that look in his eyes I'd say he was more than serious...)

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 * Bellboy: He struck me as a real "Lady Killer," if you'll pardon the expression. I knew it from the moment I saw him, sir. He and I are of the same ilk. We both carry the scent of... danger.
 * Phoenix: (There we are in total agreement, Mr. Psycho Bellboy.)

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 * April: You don't just have spiky hair, you also have a spiky heart.
 * Phoenix: (That does it. When this case is done, I'm shaving my head.)

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 * Phoenix: Say... Why are you so... angry? I mean, you don't look like a bad person...
 * April: Ooh, that does it! Bottom-feeding, scum-sucking lawyer!
 * Phoenix: B-bottom...?

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 * April: Fine! I'll talk! You... you win, Lawyer.
 * Phoenix: (Yes! Man, that felt good! It's great to be alive!)
 * April: Why are you pumping your fists in the air?
 * Phoenix: *cough*

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 * White: Mr. Wrong, was it?
 * Phoenix: Wright.

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 * White: I ask again. Who are you?
 * Phoenix: Umm... huh? A lawyer?
 * White: No, my feeble friend. A "mere" lawyer. Worth nothing. Zilch. Zippo. Nada!

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 * White: You came here from Grodyburger's, I presume?
 * Phoenix: Mr. Grossberg's... yes.

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 * Phoenix: But you and Mr. White are lovers, aren't you!
 * Grossberg: W-w-what! My boy!
 * Phoenix: You sent that painting to him! As a sign! A sign of undying love!
 * Grossberg: M-m-my boy, please! You're letting your fancies run away with you! Where do you get these bizarre ideas?
 * Phoenix: I... I don't understand how you could...
 * Grossberg: That's because I'm not, we're not... Don't be ridiculous!
 * Grossberg: ...
 * Grossberg: Enough. I'll swallow my pride and tell you all.
 * Phoenix: (I knew it! They are lovers!)
 * Grossberg: N-no! We are NOT lovers!

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 * Edgeworth: Please state your full name.
 * White: You wish to know the title of my personage?
 * Edgeworth: Er... your name?
 * White: Yes! That is what I said! Oh dear, do my locutions confuse?
 * Edgeworth: (slams desk) Name!
 * Phoenix: (These two are great together...)

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 * Mia: Ah, you're finally awake.
 * Phoenix: Gak!
 * Mia: H-Hey! Phoenix! "Gak'? That's no way to treat an old friend.

Phoenix Wright

 * Mia's favorite potted plant. Maya has been watering it so much lately it looks a little... swollen. She's either trying to make it grow... or she's perfecting her water torture technique.
 * (So he was sleeping the entire afternoon of the murder? Some action hero!)
 * They always have mirrors like this in dressing rooms. I see my hair is still nice and spiky, just how I like it.
 * It must be nice to live so free of guilt.
 * Ohhh yeah, right here! Sherlock Holmes II, baby!
 * HE COULDN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
 * (referring to Wendy Oldbag)Uh oh, she's really pissed this time!

Miles Edgeworth

 * I was hoping to come up with a question while I was objecting, Your Honor... I didn't.
 * Indeed! Verily, I say... Ergo!
 * [to Phoenix] Thanks to you, I am saddled with unnecessary... feelings.

Maya

 * Hey! I'm only 17! That's seven-"teen." See? I'm a teen! Not like you, Nick.
 * It's a nightmare! The Steel Samurai is over! The world is over!
 * Um, maybe I shouldn't be saying this... But he definitely did it. Murder. At least once. Maybe twice.
 * Umm... Nick? Will I grow up to be like her [Oldbag]? Please say "no."
 * Old windbag sure has balls! Or... well, you know what I mean.
 * Oh great. Stop the presses. The Windbag wants to talk.
 * Um, Nick? You know that problem of yours?  That problem where you present evidence that makes no sense?  You're doing it again.

Will Powers

 * It seems like it was only yesterday. Actually, it was only yesterday.
 * The Steel Samurai is the lead character in a popular kid's show. He walks the streets of Neo Olde Tokyo... Fighting battle after battle against the Evil Magistrate and his minions. Of course, he never really defeats the Evil Magistrate. Although... I guess he did defeat him this time...
 * She [Oldbag] sucks up to all the bigwigs at the studio... But let her see you stumble once and she'll never let up on you.

Wendy Oldbag

 * (Talking about Will Powers) He's not a bad kid, but don't be fooled by his mask! You wouldn't want him on the silver screen without it, believe me. Little old ladies watching would lose their lunch!
 * You look as though you've seen a ghost!
 * You spiky-haired cretin!
 * Umm... E-Edgey-boy! Help!

Dialogue (1-3)

 * Phoenix: Maybe you could explain to me just what "the Steel Samurai" is.
 * Maya: Nick! How could you say such a thing? I-I'm sorry, sir, I apologize for my partner! He's new to this, and a bit OUT OF TOUCH with the world.
 * Phoenix: Hey! Who's "new to this"!?

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 * Maya: We're on this case too, pal!
 * Gumshoe: Huh!? Hey! You can't just go saying "pal" like that! That's MY endearing character trait!

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 * Maya: Mmm! T-bone steak! That would have hit the spot.
 * Phoenix: You just had a burger!
 * Maya: Yeah, but I have a second stomach just for steaks.
 * Phoenix: (What!?)
 * Phoenix: There's a bunch of snacks on the table. They must give these to the employees. Some tea and cookies...
 * Maya: Nick... I'm hungry!
 * Phoenix: You just had a burger!
 * Maya: Yeah, but I have a separate stomach for sweets!
 * Phoenix: (How many stomachs does this girl have!?)
 * Phoenix: (How many stomachs does this girl have!?)

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 * Maya: Look, a ladder!
 * Phoenix: That's a "step"-ladder.
 * Maya: So? What's the difference? You need to stop judging things based on narrow-minded cultural assumptions, Nick!
 * Phoenix: R-right... sorry. (This girl is OUT there!)

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 * Maya: Wow, look at that camera! That must cost a ton!
 * Phoenix: Yeah! So don't touch it!
 * Maya: Whoa! It's heavier than I thought...
 * Penny: Hey! You! No touching that!
 * Phoenix: Ah, um, sorry, my partner is kind of, y'know...
 * Maya: "Y'know"!? No I don't know!

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 * Phoenix: It's never a good idea to reveal your hand to the enemy too soon.
 * Maya: Nick! You're craftier than I gave you credit for. Why, you could be the next... Evil Magistrate!
 * Phoenix: Hey! Why do I have to be the villain.

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 * Manella: Yeah... sux0rz! I hate missing out on food...
 * Maya: Nick... what does "Sucksores" mean?
 * Phoenix: No idea...

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 * Maya: Hey, Nick... It's Ms. Vasquez! Hello?
 * Vasquez: ...
 * Maya: H-E-L-L-O!
 * Vasquez: ...
 * Maya: H! E! L! L! O!

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 * Maya: The old windbag sure is quiet today.
 * Oldbag: ...
 * Maya: You know, things are really quiet around here like this.
 * Oldbag: ...
 * Maya: Hey I bet we could even eat the donuts in the guard station!
 * Oldbag: ... You eat, you die.
 * Maya: Whew! She's alive.

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 * Edgeworth: Will the witness declare her name?
 * Oldbag: ...Hmm? My, aren't you a handsome fellow! I'm afraid I'm a bit flustered!
 * Edgeworth: Y-your name, please!
 * Oldbag: Oh, dearie! No need for you to be embarrassed! Just call me "grandma."
 * Edgeworth: YOUR NAME, PLEASE!
 * Phoenix: (Seems Edgeworth has a bit of trouble getting his witnesses to say their names...)
 * Oldbag: Wendy Oldbag, dearie.


 * Oldbag: So just call me "grandma." It's practically my name! So even when I was young I was an Oldbag, but not really that was just my name dearie. Still how the other children would make fun of me and just because of my name can you believe it? But there was this boy, the captain of the chess club in junior high, and when he called me an old bag well I just cried and cried because I had a crush on him you see--
 * Edgeworth: *OBJECTION!*


 * Edgeworth: O-objection! I... object to the witness's talkativeness.
 * Judge: Objection sustained! The witness will refrain from rambling on the stand.

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 * Oldbag: You let 'em have it, Edgey-boy!
 * Phoenix: (E-Edgey-boy...?)
 * Edgeworth: ...

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 * Manella: (After presenting any evidence other than Powers' Photo) I try not to pay much attention to things that don't interest me. LOL.
 * Maya: W-why are you staring at me like that...?

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 * Phoenix: What the hell do samurais sing about? Chopping off heads?

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 * (Phoenix Wright presents an incorrect piece of evidence)
 * Phoenix: TAKE THAT!
 * Judge: Wrong, Mr. Wright.
 * Phoenix: But I haven't said anything yet...?
 * Judge: I know you well enough by now to know when you're going to present the wrong evidence.
 * Maya: I can sense it too, with my Fey blood...
 * Phoenix: (Okay, okay, so I picked the wrong evidence! Enough with all the sensing!)

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 * Phoenix: (hits the desk) Ms. Vasquez...
 * Vasquez: Don't hit your desk. It irritates me.
 * Edgeworth: (hits the desk) Yeah! Mr. Wright! Oops..!

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 * Phoenix: [hits his desk] ...
 * Judge: Yes, Mr. Wright?
 * Phoenix: I was hoping I'd come up with a question while pounding on my desk.
 * Phoenix: I didn't.
 * Judge: ...
 * Judge: You have my sympathies.


 * Edgeworth: *OBJECTION!*
 * Edgeworth: ...


 * Judge: Yes, Mr. Edgeworth?
 * Edgeworth: I was hoping to come up with a question while I was objecting, Your Honor...
 * Edgeworth: I didn't.


 * Judge: I see... Very well.
 * Edgeworth: *OBJECTION!*

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 * Phoenix: How is Edgeworth doing, anyway?
 * Gumshoe: Edgeworth is out of control! He was in the waiting room and he crushed this paper cup with hot, hot coffee in it.
 * Phoenix: Whoa...
 * Gumshoe: Talk about burns, pal!
 * Maya: Wow! The fury of Edgeworth!

Manfred von Karma

 * Witness, you've had a long day. Shut your pie-hole.
 * I set my ATM card's number to "0001" because I'm number one!
 * So what? My granddaughter has a dog she calls Phoenix! Well, Mr Phoenix Wright? Does that make you my grand-daughter's fiancée?! She's only seven years old!
 * This photo is worth a thousand words… and they all read "guilty"!
 * I've heard of desperate men grasping at straws, but this is the first time I've heard of men grasping at macaws! Hah!
 * Objection! Sustained!

Other

 * Judge: Mr. Wright. You are truly the most unpredictable defense attorney I've ever known. I can tell you're grasping, yet I cannot deny the possibility of what you say.

Dialogue (1-4)

 * Maya: I need a waterfall to stand under! Preferably a freezing one!
 * Phoenix: … Oh… Is that part of your spirit medium training?
 * Maya: Of course! Except, I've been slacking off lately… I need to brave the elements and be forged anew under the rushing spring waters!
 * Phoenix: Umm… Okay…... I don't know about any falls per se, but Gourd Lake is pretty close...
 * Maya: Oh. Darn.
 * Phoenix: Sorry, but them's the breaks. Couldn't you just take a cold shower or something?
 * Maya: … Good idea!
 * Phoenix: (So much for the rushing spring waters…)
 * [...]
 * Maya: ...Nick?
 * Phoenix: ?
 * Maya: The water pressure's kind of low in that shower.
 * Phoenix: ...You want more pressure, huh? Why don't you go down to the fire department and have them spray you with the hose?
 * Maya: … Good idea, Nick!
 * Phoenix: (Apparently, E.S.P. is no aid in detecting sarcasm…)
 * [...]
 * Maya: Nick..
 * Phoenix: What!?
 * Maya: The fireman yelled at me when I called him…

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 * Edgeworth: So, you've come to laugh at the fallen attorney? Then laugh, laugh! Well? Why aren't you laughing?
 * Maya: Nick… Should we be laughing?
 * Phoenix: Nah. It's a trick. Laugh and he'll get mad… or burst into tears. Edgeworth.  We don't have so much free time we can spend it coming down here to laugh at you.
 * Edgeworth: … Yes you do.
 * Phoenix: (Actually, he's right.)

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 * Maya: Oh, it's Christmas today! I forgot! What are you getting for me for Christmas, Nick?
 * Phoenix: Talk to Santa.

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 * Phoenix: I feel winter's chill from the bare leaf trees today...
 * Phoenix: *sigh* What is it about winter that turns people into poets?
 * Maya: I don't know, but my toes are starting to feel numb.
 * Phoenix: (Yes... my poetry has that effect on some people.)

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 * Maya: (Looking at the noise-activated camera) Let's try it out! Hi! I'm Nick!
 * Camera: (Silence)
 * Maya: Maybe I'm not saying it loud enough. HEY! I'M NICK!!!
 * Camera: (Silence)
 * Maya: Huh. NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!
 * Phoenix: Will you stop that?
 * Maya: Maybe it's broken?
 * Phoenix: D-Don't kick it! Maybe it isn't set to respond to voices?
 * Maya: Well what then? I know!
 * Phoenix: The party popper…?
 * BANG
 * Camera: Klik klik klik klik klik klik klik klik (etc.)…
 * Maya: …Yep. It responded.

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 * Santa Larry: Long time no see, Nick.
 * Maya: Nick… you know Santa? Wow… Nick and St. Nick… Hey! I see the connection!

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 * von Karma: As we have seen, there were no other people on the lake that night! Who but the defendant could have shot the victim!?
 * Phoenix: Who else but the witness, Ms. Lotta Hart!
 * Judge: Wh-what!? Do you have proof of this!?
 * Phoenix: (Proof-shmoof! Always with the proof! Oh... wait, I do need proof, don't I.)
 * Judge: Mr. Wright! I'll have you remember this is a court of law!
 * Phoenix: (Uh oh. The Judge is mad.)

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 * Judge: The witness will state her name.
 * Parrot: ....
 * Judge: *bangs gavel* Name!
 * Parrot: ...
 * Judge: The witness is ignoring me.
 * Phoenix: (It must hurt, to be ignored by a bird...)

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 * Parrot: Hello! Hello! *squawk*
 * Phoenix: HOLD IT!! *bangs table*
 * Phoenix: Witness! You can't just say "hello" and expect us to get anywhere! I want you to testify!

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 * Phoenix: Do you know what happened here?
 * Gumshoe: Huh? You don't know, pal?
 * Phoenix: No...
 * Gumshoe: Wow, okay, Mr. head-in-the-fluffy-pink-clouds Lawyer.
 * Phoenix: Head-in-the... huh?
 * Gumshoe: Never mind, I'll tell you.

Ema Skye

 * Note to self: Mr Edgeworth's sighs smell like citrus fruit.
 * (looking at a chessboard) And check out that poor pawn, his head is kind of spiky... Kind of reminds me of you.
 * Maybe Edgeworth took his unholy revenge on the detectives and slapped somebody!
 * Hey! I used to take Organ lessons! They called me "Little Miss Bach" in Kindergarten. Of course, that was before I learnt to play any notes. *single organ note* I never could remember where 'C' was...
 * So does that mean if I order pizza, I'm planning to kill the delivery boy?

The Judge

 * I spent a whole day looking for my dentures. They turned out to be in my mouth all along.
 * This piece of evidence indeed seems to contradict something... like your outward appearance of mental sanity!!! [Judge penalizes Phoenix]

Phoenix Wright

 * Why do I come here to the office every day ? It's not like I want to work.
 * What's this? It looks like a shield of some kind... It's broken. Maybe it's made out of chocolate, and he [Edgeworth] took a bite out of it.
 * (Leave it at that!? This is a murder case, people!)
 * A "human machine"!? That's a contradiction!
 * Ladies and gentlemen, if you're going to plan a murder, you don't forget the weapon!
 * [referring to Edgeworth's chess set] Pink 'edges'... surrounding a blue pawn with spiky hair... *shudders* Nah, it's probably nothing...
 * No one can change the past. The only thing we can do is strive to make up for our mistakes. Why must we make up for our mistakes, you ask? Because in so doing... we can find the way back to our path. And once we've found our path, we can move on from our past mistakes toward a brighter future.

Miles Edgeworth

 * Our job is to find truth, no matter how painful it may be.
 * When you've run into a wall with no place to go, return to the basics.
 * ... You can wipe that foolish grin off your face now, Wright!
 * The act of making an innocent girl cry should warrant the death penalty.
 * Just remember one thing, Mr. Wright. Every time you point your  finger, someone gets hurt.

Dick Gumshoe

 * When a detective screws up, the Chief calls him to his office... and makes him listen to the organ for hours. (...) After that, the detective can't hear anything for days except for the ringing in his ears.

Jake Marshall

 * When there's gunshots, there's bound to be bullets.

Dialogue (1-5)

 * Ema: You know, I got a 97 on my Science test the other day!
 * Phoenix: (Too bad they don't have a test for common sense.)

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 * Ema: All you need [To re-decorate your office as Edgeworth's] is money and a little of design sense.
 * Phoenix: I'm not doing so well in either of those areas.

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 * Edgeworth: What the hell was that wriggling piece of plywood!?
 * Meekins: Sir! That is the pride and joy of the entire Criminal Affairs Department, sir! It's the Blue Badger, sir!

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 * Ema: There is a jacket framed on the wall like a painting ! The fabric is high-grade cashmere... Italian styling... Silk ruffles, turquoise buttons, and a gold thread collar. I'm guessing it's worth around $5,000.
 * Phoenix: F-five thousand dollars!?
 * Ema: Speaking of which, your suit would be about...
 * Phoenix: Th-that's enough of that.

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 * Ema: Were you to jump out this window, the time until the impact with the ground would be... ... Got it ! Approximately 3.23 seconds!
 * Phoenix: (That's handy to know...)

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 * Ema: There you are! Where have you been? My sister's trial is tomorrow!
 * Phoenix: Um… and you are?
 * Ema: It doesn't matter who I am, it matters who YOU are! You're the famous defense attorney Mia Fey!
 * Phoenix: …
 * Ema: …Oh! You're not Mia Fey are you?
 * Phoenix: I'm sorry. Mia Fey no longer… works here.
 * Ema: So you are… the coffee boy?
 * Phoenix: I'm Phoenix Wright, defense attorney.
 * Ema: (writing notes) Wright… Wright… Wait! You mean THE Phoenix Wright. The Phoenix Wright from the Edgeworth murder case?
 * Phoenix: Um, yeah sure. (It wasn't Edgeworth who got murdered though…)
 * Ema: Phew… that's a relief. You're better than nobody.

<hr width=50%>
 * Ema: I promised my sister I'd bring her Mia Fey but…
 * Phoenix: Incidentally, Mia was a woman.
 * Ema: Yeah, I thought you looked a bit strange when I first saw you.

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: See this? It's my Attorney's Badge.
 * Ema: Ahh! Well! I've never seen a real one before.
 * Phoenix: (You're the first one who's actually been interested in mine, believe me.)
 * Ema: Its composition is mostly silver. The gold plating is flaking a bit.
 * Phoenix:(She analyzed it. Scientifically...)
 * Ema: There doesn't appear to be any corrosion due to sulfides. I'd give you $50.00 for it.
 * Phoenix: Sorry, but it's not for sale. Yet...

<hr width=50%>
 * Gumshoe: They kicked me out of Criminal Affairs...
 * Phoenix: Detective Gumshoe! What did you do this time?
 * Gumshoe: Whaddya mean, "this time"!?

<hr width=50%>
 * Judge: (To Angel Starr) Hmm? Haven't I seen you somewhere...?
 * Angel: (Showing him a caviar lunch box) You ordered the Caviar Lunch, right?
 * Judge: Ho ho! Caviar! I've never eaten caviar before!
 * Phoenix: (The judge is really wolfing it down...)
 * Angel: Well, Your Honor? How does it taste?
 * Judge: So this is why everyone raves about caviar! It's so tasty it hurts! I always thought caviar would taste like pickled tapioca.
 * Phoenix: (What the heck does pickled tapioca taste like?!)
 * Phoenix: (What the heck does pickled tapioca taste like?!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: Very well, witness. Please describe the incident to us.
 * Judge: The prosecution will wait! I'm not finished eating yet...
 * Phoenix: (Hurry it up!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Angel: Lana Skye intended to murder Detective Goodman!
 * Phoenix: *Hold it!* You've said that, but you haven't told us how you know!
 * Angel: That's what I'm about to tell you Rookie!
 * Judge: I believe what she just said was a mere prelude to the story she is about to tell. Try not to interrupt her again.
 * Angel: Rookie... Never interrupt a storyteller! It's like pulling a bun out of the over half-baked!
 * Phoenix: (Something's half-baked here alright, and it's you!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: What kind of "grudge"!?
 * Angel: Well, I wouldn't know that.
 * Phoenix: Of course you don't! That's because she didn't have a grudge!
 * Angel: Rookie... I have a lunchbox here. Now... what's inside?
 * Phoenix: H-How am I supposed to know!?
 * Angel: See? We agree there is a lunchbox here, but we don't know what's inside! A person's life is like a lunchbox with pretzels. Don't you agree?
 * Judge: I-I get it! That's why my lunch was so salty!
 * Phoenix: (This judge isn't very good with metaphors...)

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: Will the witness please state his name and occupation.
 * Meekins: Yes sir! I am Officer Mike Meekins, sir! My occupation is, um... that would be murderer, sir.
 * Phoenix: ...
 * Edgeworth: ...
 * Judge: Er... so you're telling us you're a "professional killer..."
 * Meekins: Sir. It was me, sir! I'm the one who did it! I'll never kill anyone again, sir! You've got to believe me, sir!
 * Judge: Uh... actually, what I'd like to hear from you is...
 * Meekins: Sir! I'm part of what you would call the younger generation, sir! A person whose actions adults can't possibly comprehend!
 * Judge: Please, Mr. Edgeworth, sir! Help me, sir!

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: I'd appreciate it if you'd stop making these ridiculous allegations.
 * Gant: Yes, you do have a point... You wouldn't have the guts to do something like that...
 * Phoenix: What? I'll have you know back in the day, I once broke into a cattle ranch and tipped -
 * Judge: Mr. Wright! What are you saying?!

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: He would be able to use the Chief Prosecutor as his puppet!
 * Edgeworth: Essentially... he would acquire unchecked authority over all investigations!
 * Judge: Do you mean to tell me... that despite the Chief's formidable appearance, he plays with puppets!?
 * Judge: Oh, wait. You must mean "puppet" as in someone forced to do his bidding... Nevermind!

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: *OBJECTION!*
 * Phoenix: The question is, if he did arrive there first, why did he hide that fact for two years!?
 * Judge: ....
 * Phoenix: Well, Your Honor? Can you answer us that!?
 * Judge: Nnnnn...NNNNGHAAAAAAA!
 * Judge: Noooooooooooo!
 * Judge: Wait, I'm not the one on trial here!

<hr width=50%> [Phoenix presents an incorrect piece of evidence]
 * Phoenix: This is a message from the deceased!
 * Judge: Right...now, this is a message from the Judge!

[Judge penalizes Phoenix]

= Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice For All =

Phoenix Wright

 * (When presenting the yellow baseball glove a witness has mistaken for a bunch of bananas) Doesn't it look delicious? Care for a bite?
 * (Nowhere to run... I'm sooo dead!)
 * So, my name is "Phoenix Wright"? What a weird name.
 * (Recalling his friends and picturing Winston Payne) ...This person... I haven't got a clue. He seems to know me but maybe he's mistaking me for someone else?

Maya Fey

 * Earth to Nick! What's the matter?
 * You know, you're awfully forgetful these days, Nick. I hope I never get to be a forgetful old prune like you.
 * Come on, Nick. We can talk about you being old later.

Dialogue (2-1)

 * Maggey: What's wrong? You've been staring at me for a while. You're kind of scaring me, sir.
 * Phoenix: (Hmm, I'm afraid to ask but here goes.) So, this might sound bad, but... who are you?

<hr width=50%>
 * Maggey: I heard you can fix something like this with a really strong shock to your system! Come on, lower your head a little! A Maggey Kick should be all you need!
 * Phoenix: Ah, no, no, no. I think I'll pass on this one.
 * Maggey: Come on!... Ah, I'm sorry. Whenever I see someone in trouble, I have a hard time leaving them alone... I tend to stick my nose where it doesn't belong and try to tackle everyone's problems.
 * Phoenix: (Well, my head's one problem you won't be tackling today...)

<hr width=50%>
 * Winston: Hee hee hee... It's been a while, hasn't it, Mr. Wright. Let's see what you've learnt since last time. (shows confidence) I will show you no mercy this time, rookie!
 * Phoenix: ...Okaaay. (And who are you again?)

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: What...what's come over me? Without thinking, I just blurted out "Objection!"...And I yelled it at the﻿ top of my lungs, finger outstretched, ready to take on my opponent!...What a rush!

<hr width=50%>
 * Wellington: Fashion! Cars! Women! Glasses! And of course... University! First-rates need only apply!
 * Phoenix: (Glasses? But you aren't wearing glasses.)

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: Could you tell the court what is special about this glove?
 * Gumshoe: What's special? Never really thought about it, but... it's REALLY yellow... and that's about it.

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: His pointer finger?
 * Gumshoe: You know, the one you're always POINTING and waving around in people's faces.
 * Phoenix: Aha, ha, ha. Don't tell me it bothers you...
 * Gumshoe: Every time you do it, I have a mini-heart attack. It's like you're trying to kill me, pal.

<hr width=50%>
 * (Phoenix Wright is suffering from amnesia)
 * Phoenix: The name on that card tells people who I am!
 * Phoenix: It even told ME that I'm "Phoenix Wright"!
 * Payne: ...
 * Wellington: ...
 * Maya: ... (stares at Phoenix in disbelief)
 * Judge: ...Did you not know that?
 * Phoenix: Nope!
 * Payne: OBJECTION! Wh-what's the meaning of this nonsense?!
 * Judge: Mr Wright! Get a hold of yourself and start behaving like a proper lawyer!
 * Maya: Ouch! Talk about a tongue-lashing, Nick.

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: Mr. Wellington loves large bananas!
 * Judge: ...
 * Payne: ...
 * Wellington: ...
 * Maya: Uh, Nick... I hope you've noticed the icy glares we're getting from everyone in here!
 * Judge: Wh-What in the world do you mean?
 * Wellington: I'll have you know I like strawberries much better than bananas.
 * Wellington: I'll have you know I like strawberries much better than bananas.

Other

 * Judge: Ah, I remember when I was young and in love. Oh, it was a jolly time.

Phoenix Wright

 * (After Phoenix gives Maya's Magatama to Pearl, Pearl starts to cry)
 * Phoenix: (Ack! I'm in trouble now!! If Morgan sees us like this, I'll be the next one they're channeling...)

<hr width=50%>
 * (When being asked if he wants to hear Ini Miney's story again)
 * Phoenix: (Well excuuuse me, Princess. ...Anyway, should I ask to hear the story again...?)

Maya Fey

 * She'd never do anything like that! You hear me?! Never! She's a great kid, and really cute... And really great... And cute.

Other

 * Judge: Now, now, let's all be one big happy family, OK?

Dialogue (2-2)

 * Franziska: Cry and my whip will accommodate.
 * Phoenix: (What's with her? All she's said for the last few minutes is utter nonsense!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Pearl: Who are you?
 * Phoenix: I'm Phoenix Wright. I, uh, worked with Maya…
 * Pearl: …You worked with Mystic Maya…? You… You're Mr. Nick, right?
 * Phoenix: Uh, excuse me? (I bet I know who she picked "Nick" from…)
 * Pearl: I know who you are. You're…You're Mystic Maya's… (changes into a happy look) "special someone"…
 * Phoenix: WH-WH-WH-WHAT!?
 * Pearl: So then…of course! You're going to help Mystic Maya, aren't you? That's what you're going to do, right?
 * Phoenix: W-Well, yeah…I will….
 * Pearl: Oh wow…It's like a beautiful fairy tale! That earnest look shining brightly in your eyes... It must be true love…
 * Phoenix: (Takes a blow) Wh-What!? (Why am I being boiled into a bright red lobster by this little kid!?)

<hr width=50%>
 * Ini: (Regarding Pearl Fey) Aww, she's, like, tooootally cute! Is she, like, your daughter?
 * Phoenix: WH-What!? NO! (How old do you think I am!?)

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: Have you heard about the murder?
 * Ini:  It's like, totally scary.
 * Phoenix: (...she says with a silly smile plastered on her face...) So do you know anything about it that might help?
 * Ini:  ...
 * Phoenix: (Somehow, I don't think she has a grip on reality, let alone what's going on here.)

<hr width=50%>
 * (Phoenix shows Ini's photo to herself)
 * Ini: Um... This face... Like, I think I've seen it somewhere before...

<hr width=50%>
 * Franziska: I look forward to tonight's news with great joy, Mr. Phoenix Wright. The image of your face being projected all over the world.
 * Mia: All over the world? Looks like you've made a name for yourself.
 * Franziska: Don't be foolish you foolish fool wearing the foolishly foolish clothes.

<hr width=50%>
 * Mia: Don't just stand there "hmm"-ing to yourself!
 * Phoenix: Not you too, Mia! With the whip… And the pain… And the oww…

<hr width=50%>
 * (Before Maya's not guilty verdict been announced)
 * Franziska: Th-This…This is preposterous! I…I'm perfect! Me…Franziska von Karma…
 * Phoenix: I'm going to enjoy the news tonight, Ms. von Karma. How about you? It's going to be broadcast all over the world, right? Your defeat, that is…
 * (Out of anger, Franziska whips Phoenix, the Judge and Mimi Miney once, then starts whipping Phoenix multiple times)
 * Franziska: And one more for good measure!
 * (She whips Phoenix four times, and Phoenix faints)
 * Mia: Ph-Phoenix! Hang in there, Phoenix!! PHOENIX!!!
 * Franziska: This court is a fraud! A sham!

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: *TAKE THAT!* Please look at this!
 * Judge: Alright...
 * Franziska: I've already seen it.
 * Phoenix: Thank you.
 * Franziska: ...
 * Judge: ...Well?
 * Phoenix: ...*sigh*
 * Judge: I'm the one who should be sighing Mr. Wright, not you!(he penalizes Phoenix)

<hr width=50%>
 * Pearl: I’m so jealous of Mystic Maya! Ah, what a wonderful relationship…
 * Phoenix: W-Wait… I… uhh… I mean… We aren’t… Things aren’t like…

<hr width=50%>
 * Pearl: Usually when people don’t use Mystic Maya’s title, I get mad.
 * Phoenix: O-oh, sorry.
 * Pearl: But if it’s you, Mr. Nick, then it’s OK. Because… Because… you’re “special” to her.
 * Phoenix: (Where in the world did she get an idea like that??)

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: Don’t tell me you walked all the way here.
 * Pearl: Of course not! I ran.
 * Phoenix: That’s… I can’t… Oh my… (If it takes two hours by train… Oh man…)

Phoenix Wright

 * Wonderful. Today's special must be Filet O' Phoenix!

Maya Fey

 * Nick? NICK! You're too young to die!
 * I guess putting a poster of a magician in a law office is kinda strange.

Other

 * Judge: Bailiff, I don't care who it is, smack anyone who's loud in the face! Twice if you must!

Dialogue (2-3)

 * Maya: You still got plenty of time to clean your office later!
 * Phoenix: W-WWWHHHAATTT!?

<hr width="50%>
 * Maximillion: Ab-so-lute-ly FABULOUS!
 * Phoenix: Absolutely cringe inducing.

<hr width="50%>
 * Maya: I wish I was an animal tamer! Nick! Roll over!
 * Phoenix: When this case is over, I'll roll over for you all you want.

<hr width="50%>
 * Regina: Who do you think I should go for? Max or Trilo?
 * Phoenix: Wait... Wait... You do realize that Trilo is... a... puppet?
 * Regina: Uh? I don't care that he's a bit stiff...
 * Phoenix: Oh boy.

<hr width="50%>
 * Phoenix: Well, what do you think of this?
 * Moe: Looks tasty!
 * Phoenix: Huh?
 * Moe: The burgers, dummy!

<hr width="50%>
 * Maximillion: I'm counting on you, my sweeties!
 * Phoenix: (He didn't just call me his sweety, did he?)

<hr width="50%>
 * Maya: I just found it odd... Maximillion Galatica is just a country bumpkin.
 * Phoenix: So? What's wrong with that? He's still a world-class magician.
 * Maya: Yeah, but his name is Billy Bob Johns...
 * Phoenix: (Yikes, the guy has 3 first names! That is kind of odd.)

<hr width="50%>
 * Phoenix: It's... Umm... Umm..................
 * Judge: W-W-W-What!? Why did you stop talking all of a sudden!?
 * Phoenix: Well... I'm just not really sure if I should say anything or not because the bust is... (gets whipped by von Karma) Under Your Honor's bench!
 * von Karma: ...You had to think about whether it was a good idea to say that!?
 * Judge: GWWWWAAAAHHHH!! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!? THAT'S A PENALTY!!
 * (The judge removes 40% of Phoenix's health bar)
 * Phoenix: Arrrgghhh!
 * Judge: WHAT'S THAT!? YOU WANT A DOUBLE!? HERE YA GO!!
 * (The judge removes 55% of Phoenix's health bar)
 * Phoenix: Double arrrggghhh!! (Ahh... I knew I had a bad feeling about that...)
 * Judge: Now hurry up and fix things!

<hr width="50%>
 * (Phoenix has just pointed out a large contradiction in Moe's testimony)
 * Judge: ORDER! ORDER! OOORRRDER!! MR. CURLS!!
 * Moe: Y-yes, Your Honor?
 * Judge: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ALL OF THIS!? You are old enough to know better than to behave like this in court!
 * Moe: Hey! That's just not right!! That's so harsh!
 * Judge: What's not right here is your eyesight and memory, amongst other things!!
 * Moe: (silent)...Wh...Why are you being so mean to me!! What did I do!? Lemme guess... you just didn't like my jokes or something, right? You didn't have to go and insult my eyesight or my memory!? They're both great! Seriously!! Why!? Just because you are sitting above me doesn't mean you belong there! And no matter how old I get, I'll always be younger than you!! WAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! *sobs*

<hr width="50%>
 * Phoenix: (Alright! With this, the rest of the trial should be in the b-)
 * Franziska: ...(Laughing to herself)
 * Phoenix: (...Blast radius of disaster.)

<hr width="50%>
 * Maya: Ah, a ladder.
 * Phoenix: It's just a stepladder.
 * Maya: What's the difference? They do the same thing, right? I think you should stick to the basic facts of the matter.
 * Phoenix: Oh... Uh... Ok. (It's not even worth arguing with her on this one.)

<hr width="50%>
 * Phoenix: Difficult-looking legal books stand in a formidable row. They mock me.
 * Maya: Hey! I'm reading that one! You know I'm studying the law now, right? I put that bookmark on the page I was reading... Don't you dare move it!
 * Phoenix: What!? You're reading!? THESE!? A bookmark, huh... Hmm... You mean this thing? It was only on the second page.
 * Maya: Well, you have to start somewhere right?
 * Phoenix: You do realize you have 1000 pages to go right?
 * Maya: ...Maybe you really should sell all these books, Nick.

<hr width="50%>
 * Maya: (Upon seeing von Karma's profile) You know, if she wasn't so mean, I think she and I would get along...
 * Phoenix: Yeah, but that's the problem... She is so mean. And that whip... That thing hurts. It really hurts.
 * Maya: It is kinda cool though. I wouldn't mind having a whip myself. I bet cracking that whip on you once or twice would be just what the doctor ordered!
 * Phoenix: W-Why me!? W-What did I do!?

<hr width="50%>
 * Maya: Whoa. Max used a broken bottle to crack Ben over the head?
 * Phoenix: No no no... It broke because Max cracked Ben over the head with it.
 * Maya: He must have really hit him hard then... I guess I should give it a try... For research purposes. Come here... I've got a nice bottle right here for you Nick...
 * Phoenix: *whack* YEOW!!!
 * Maya: That's weird. It didn't break.
 * Phoenix: Of course it didn't!! You hit me with a plastic bottle!!

<hr width="50%>
 * Regina: (about Regent the tiger) It's not dangerous at all, Regent's just a little kitten!
 * Phoenix: (I've seen plenty of kittens... And that's no kitten!)

Phoenix Wright

 * Difficult-looking legal books stand in a formidable row. They mock me. I tried reading one, and it made my head hurt. When I closed it, it slipped out of my hand. Then my foot hurt too.
 * Words can not describe how screwed I am.
 * (Being suprised by Oldbag) Zoinks! It's the Alien!
 * ("Bad Ending" speech) And just like that... the case came to an end. I ran from the courtroom and wandered the streets alone. I never saw Maya again. De Killer is a man of his word, so I'm sure he let Maya go. The trial of Adrian Andrews went ahead and the newspapers read the following headline... Guilty of course. The "miracle" never happen (sic). Maybe it was never meant to. Because a "miracle" is something that doesn't exist.
 * (Referring to Edgeworth seeing Oldbag on the witness stand) (I wonder what happened to that calm and cool composure he had earlier...)
 * So? A baseball has stitches! Are you saying all baseballs are suspicious because they have stitches!?
 * So? A football is made of leather! Are you saying all footballs are suspicious because they are made of leather!?

Miles Edgeworth

 * (Upon learning that one of his witnesses was actually Wendy Oldbag) I saw the report with her testimony, but who knew that under that helmet... it was the wicked witch of the witness stand!?
 * You (Oldbag) really should come with a supply of cheese to match your vintage whine.
 * This isn't the "Phoenix Wright Wax Philosophical Power Hour".
 * (When Judge interrupts Phoenix while he's talking to De Killer) Be quiet and listen... Your Honor.

Pearl Fey

 * (While discussing visiting von Karma in the hospital) Let's go let her whip us, Mr. Nick!

Franziska von Karma

 * (Suddenly breaks into tears while talking with Edgeworth at the airport) I... I... I am Franziska von Karma. Don't think I'm going to walk in your shadow forever... Our battle... begins now... so you had better prepare yourself, Miles Edgeworth!

Dialogue (2-4)

 * Phoenix: Mr Engarde, I have one last question for you. Please answer honestly.
 * Engarde: …
 * Phoenix: Please put the phone away and answer the question yourself.

<hr width=50%>
 * Pearl: Mr Matt Engarde? Isn't he the Nickel Samurai?
 * Gumshoe: Yup... I mean no! You've got to say it with more 'umph!' "The Nickel Samurai!"

<hr width=50%>
 * De Killer: I will now return to you, your precious item...
 * Maya: H-Hey! I'm not an item!

(The radio turns off)
 * Phoenix: (Maya... I thought I'd never see you again... Oh thank goodness!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Oldbag: Shush! I'm talking to my dear Edgey-Wedgey right now!  Don't interrupt us, gramps!
 * Judge: Yes, madam.
 * Edgeworth: No no no, please, by all means interrupt her! Please!

<hr width=50%>
 * Oldbag: T-Then, everything written on this note is meaningless?!
 * Phoenix: Ah! That's it! That's the note!
 * Oldbag: Ah! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Nooooo! You see, this is something completely different. *zoom out* This is my top secret list of groceries to buyyyyyyy!!

<hr width=50%>
 * Gumshoe: Take a good look at the crime scene photo. Now, a real pro's attention would be drawn here, to this bandana.
 * Judge: Mmm... "Banana"...
 * Gumshoe: Um, his "bandana", sir... That's the thing wrapped tightly around his neck, sir.
 * Judge: Ah, yes, yes. I see. His banana-scented bandana.

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: The real mastermind behind this whole murder is… You, Matt Engarde!
 * Engarde: … … … …*sigh* And here I was, trying to be a good boy for you, dude.
 * Phoenix: …!
 * Engarde: I thought if you didn't know, you'd be able to do your job without feeling bad. Well, that's what I thought, anyway…
 * Phoenix: M-Mr. Engarde… You really did hire…!?
 * Engarde: (turns on wrist communicator) Hold on a sec. I'm gonna consult myself, OK? … …
 * Phoenix: (Consult… "myself"…??)
 * Engarde: …Well, I guess it's probably about time anyway.
 * Phoenix: About time for what?
 * Engarde: I think it's time for you to meet him now, Mr. Lawyer dude.
 * (last three Psyche-Locks break)
 * Engarde: (pulls back hair and forms evil grin on face) How do you do… Mister Lawyer? I'm Matt Engarde.

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: That's not something I can answer for you… Wright… Only you can decide where to go from here. One year ago… At that time, I didn't truly understand what a "prosecutor" was.  And that is why… I had to leave the Prosecutor's Office.  I felt that I couldn't stand in a court of law until I knew what a prosecutor really was.  And now, Wright… It's your turn.
 * Phoenix: My… turn?
 * Edgeworth: What is this thing called a "lawyer"? What can you do as one?  You must find the answer… And you must find it on your own.
 * Phoenix: I'm a lawyer… But to fight for someone who is clearly a killer… Matt Engarde… That man is really… Argh!
 * Edgeworth: It doesn't matter who, every person deserves a proper defense and a fair trial. Isn't that the basis of our judicial system?
 * Phoenix: "Proper defense"? But what exactly is that?  Is it where a lawyer forcibly and blindly gets an acquittal through shouting and trickery?
 * Edgeworth: …*sigh* Ironic that you of all people should say such a thing. Isn't that exactly how you have fought for your clients up until now?
 * Phoenix: Uh… W-Well, that may be true, but… But that's… That's because I've believed my clients to be innocent from the bottom of my heart! But if I were to get Engarde an acquittal… That… That isn't a proper defense at all!  I became a lawyer because I thought… I thought I could save people who were in suffering and in pain… But… When I look at this mess we're in… I can't even protect the person closest to me. Even if I win the case, I still lose in the end… I just don't know what to do!
 * Edgeworth: … Wright. Would you get a hold of yourself? You have it all wrong.
 * Phoenix: Huh?
 * Edgeworth: We aren't some sort of heroes. We're only human, you and I.  You want to "save someone"?  That's something easier said than done, wouldn't you say?  You are a defense lawyer.  You can't run away from that.  You can only fight.  That's all you can do.
 * Phoenix: People like you and Franziska von Karma are always using all you have to pin me down. You fight to the very end, even when you know the truth is not with you.  But I'm not like you.  I can't fight for a false verdict -- for a man I clearly know to be guilty!
 * Edgeworth: … Franziska… She fights for herself. The only thing she fights for is her perfect win record.  That's all.
 * Phoenix: And!? Isn't that the same as you!? Isn't that why you ran away a year ago?  Because your precious win record was destroyed!?  You are so petty!
 * Edgeworth: … I see… Now I understand why you despise me so. However, you are mistaken.
 * Phoenix: What do you… ?
 * Edgeworth: Thanks to you, when you sealed off my path to a perfect win record… I began to realize the error of my ways. I realized that such things as a perfect win record were meaningless.
 * Phoenix: I don't believe you. Are you saying that's why you left the Prosecutor's Office?  But then, why?  Why are you here now?
 * Edgeworth: The answer to that… is something you will find out on your own. I have faith you will see it before the verdict is read tomorrow.  But if you can't, then you will be powerless to change the ending of this story.

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: For my own personal victories…and for guilty verdicts… I used every dirty trick in the book.  And so my win record remained spotless.  But… A man appeared and stood fast against that selfish me.  I fought him in my usual manner, and tasted my first defeat.  I felt like I had lost everything because of that.  And then… It was my turn to sit in the defendant's chair.  And I was saved…by that person I called my "enemy"… I couldn't forgive myself for all that had happened.  So I left the Prosecutor's Office.  And I left that note… "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death"…
 * Franziska von Karma: Hmph, as well you should have.  A prosecutor who has shamed himself with defeat should crawl into a hole and die!
 * Edgeworth: …But that was not what happened. After I left the Prosecutor's Office, I finally came to realize something.  And it was in that moment of clarity that everything began to change.
 * Franziska: Wh-What foolish nonsense…
 * Edgeworth: We prosecutors use anything we can to attack the defendant. But every time we did so... No matter how desperate the situation, instead of giving up like most people, that man would hold strong with his undying faith.  And then, before I knew it… I began to trust in that man as well.
 * Franziska: Wh-What!?  You trusted your enemy!?
 * Edgeworth: It doesn't matter how many underhanded tricks a person uses… The truth will always find a way to make itself known.  The only thing we can do is to fight with the knowledge we hold and everything we have.  Erasing the paradoxes one by one… It's never easy… We claw and scratch for every inch.  But we will always eventually reach that one single truth.  This I promise you.
 * Pearl Fey: The "truth"…
 * Edgeworth: Yes. That's the reason why prosecutors and defense lawyers exist.  But I'm sure you knew that already, didn't you, Wright?
 * Phoenix: …
 * Edgeworth: That's why you couldn't forgive me; this man who went into hiding.  Isn't that right?  This man who only had his sights set on "victory", who ran away into the night…
 * Pearl: Ah!  Is…Is Mr. Edgeworth right, Mr. Nick…!?
 * Phoenix: (You really let me down…) When you disappeared, I felt…betrayed.  The reason I decided to become a lawyer to begin with…was because I believed in the things you said to me, all those years ago… And you…you betrayed your own words.  That's why…one year ago, I made up my mind.  I decided that the Miles Edgeworth I knew had died… At least, that's what I told myself.
 * Franziska: You pathetic fool!  I don't want to hear the wretched whimpering of a disgraced loser!  A Von Karma is someone who is destined to be perfect!  Miles Edgeworth… You are no longer worthy!  You are no longer worthy of being a Von Karma! And neither am I!  It's over… It's all over!

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 * Pearl: Mr. Nick! Mystic Maya and myself are your only two allies in this whole world, but it's all right!
 * Phoenix: (Ouch... I don't really have a lot of friends, do I?)

<hr width=50%>
 * Judge: You... who gave you the right to be so high and mighty...!?
 * De Killer: To the gentleman who spoke just now... Excuse me, but would you care to die?
 * Judge: Ah, no! No! I, uh, didn't say anything!

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: Um... Witness. About requesting a hit...
 * De Killer: Yes?
 * Phoenix: How much is your fee...?
 * De Killer: ... I see you are also quite a dark-hearted man, Mr. Attorney...
 * Phoenix: Huh?
 * De Killer: If you would like to talk business, we can do so after the trial...
 * Phoenix: Ack! NONONO! I'm not thinking of hiring...
 * Judge: M-M-Mr. Wright!!
 * Phoenix: Y-Yes!?
 * Judge: Y-Y-You... You want to kill me... You want me dead... DON'T YOU!?!?
 * Phoenix: Whaaaat!? Why would you think something like that, Your Hon...
 * Judge: Guilty! MR. PHOENIX WRIGHT! You are hereby declared GUILTY!!
 * Edgeworth: ...Witness. Let's continue...

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 * Oldbag: (Talking about being laid off) I thought about being a bodyguard at first, after being handed ol' pinky.
 * Maya: You? A bodyguard?
 * Oldbag: For your friend! That fiery, good-looking guy with the red jacket and the ruffles.
 * Maya: M-Mr. Edgeworth?
 * Oldbag: But... "That sort of arrangement would be entirely too troublesome for me."  That's what he said to me.

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 * Oldbag: If you keep on barking at me like that, I'll start singing at the top of my lungs!
 * Phoenix: Uh, what?
 * Oldbag: "A striking figure by the sea, standing all alone is he. He's the Nickel Samurai!"
 * Phoenix: (... She's actually singing... Someone help my poor ears.)
 * Judge: Mr. Edgeworth. Can you please do something bout this racket!?
 * Edgeworth: Witness. I'll give you a piece of gum later if you'll be good and stick to just the facts.
 * Oldbag: OKAAAAAAAY! ...  You promise, right!?
 * Edgeworth: Wright. I'll be sending the bill for the chewing gum to your office at a later date.
 * Phoenix: (Remind me to send you a thank you note later too, Edgeworth, old chum...)

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 * Phoenix: Then I guess you could say it could not have been taken out of his room, yes?
 * Andrews: Excuse me? "It"...?  What are you...?
 * Edgeworth: OBJECTION! Wright.  I thought years of school would have taught you how to construct a sentence.  If you can't make a sensible sentence with a subject, then I'll make one for you.  Watch.  (hits his desk) Did you, Ms. Andrews, remove Mr. Engarde's knife from his room?
 * Andrews: ...No.
 * Judge: Hmm...
 * Edgeworth: Subject, verb, object Wright. Did you skip basic grammar?  The witness may continue.

= Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations=

Mia

 * Well, we know whose milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...
 * How else would you get in?! Teleportation?!
 * (Ah, the lamentations of my enemy... how I long for them...)
 * (Boy... this poor kid doesn't have a clue...)

Judge

 * It seems Mr. Payne has lost his confidence along with his hair...

Winston

 * My HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIRR! IT-IT-IT'S FLYYYYIIING OOOFF!

Dialogue (3-1)

 * Grossberg: When you find the evidence you need, present it and rub it into old greybeard's face!
 * Mia: Yes sir! Into old greybeard's face!
 * Judge: Mr. Grossberg! Please try to set a better example for the young lady!

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 * Winston: A simple question. I thought I'd loosen you up a bit. I am a genteel-man if you will.
 * Mia: Um... a what?

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 * Mia: Mr Wright. you've been lying to me!
 * Phoenix: PLEEEEASE FORGIVE MEEEEE!
 * Grossberg: Mia! You made our client cry!
 * Mia: Let him! That 'P' on his shirt doesn't even stand for 'Phoenix' anyway!

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 * Mia: What did you do with the bottle necklace?
 * Phoenix: F-Forgive me... I... I... I'm sorry...
 * Mia: It's OK. Just give back the necklace.
 * Phoenix: ... I ate it.
 * Mia: ... You what?
 * Judge: You... You... You ate it...?
 * Phoenix: It was too big to swallow, so I had to chew it into little bits first, but yeah...

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 * Winston: If anyone says anything rude you can be sure I'll cut them down to size!
 * Judge: And I will bash them with my gavel!
 * Mia: (I love how they look straight at me when they say that...)

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 * Dahlia: Nothing left to do.../When a man reaches this age, /Sleep is his best friend.
 * Mia: (That's supposed to be poetry? Sounds more like a mid-life crisis!)

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 * Mia: Hmm... So what was it about Mr. Wright that made your heart malfunction like that? In my personal opinion, he just looks like a typical snotty-nosed college brat.
 * Dahlia: Perhaps to a woman your age. But to me, Feenie is handsome!
 * Mia: Perhaps to you, Ms. Hawthorne. But to the rest of the planet, he's a dime a dozen.
 * Payne: OBJECTION! Love is a mysterious thing, and I object to this line of questioning! If you were to look at my wife, you might all be shocked!
 * Judge: He's telling the truth. It was truly, truly shocking.

Phoenix Wright

 * It's not hard to imagine him (Ron) just snapping and screaming "Please dieeeee!"
 * (A muddy mudskipper in outer space has a better chance of surviving than I do.)

Maya Fey

 * I never knew you were such a toilet freak, Nick!

Godot

 * ...To err is human, to forgive, divine. Humans aren't machines... they have souls, feelings.  They live, they die, they love, they hate... And yes, they even make mistakes...


 * Blacker than a moonless night, hotter and more bitter than hell itself... That is coffee.


 * Men are like colonies of bacteria. The more heat you apply, the faster they grow.

Luke Atmey

 * Zvarri! The truth has once again been elegantly revealed to me!
 * Take a good look, everyone! Unable to find a rival worthy of my genius, I was forced to create one by myself! Here I am! The tragic clown...
 * Godot. The prosecutor whose equal cannot be found in this country, but in heaven. Godot. A legend or myth... Men pin a lifetime of hopes on the chance to simply meet him.
 * Times may change but people sadly do not.
 * Let us say the figurative Sir William will be dropping his panties before lunchtime.

Ron DeLite

 * Come on! I'm guilty! Throw the book at meeeeeee!

Dialogue (3-2)

 * Maya: (examining part of a sign saying "bur") Aha, I've got it! Maybe it's supposed to say "Hamburger"
 * Phoenix: Why would anyone write "Hamburger" that big?
 * Maya: Like, maybe for the "World Hamburger Festival" or something?
 * Phoenix: I kinda doubt it.
 * Maya: Aha, I've got it! Maybe it said, 'Spaghetti?'
 * Phoenix: ...Why are you talking about food? Oh, wait. That's normal for you.
 * Anyway, it says, "bur". There's no way it could be "Spaghetti".
 * Maya: Well, maybe it was a typo! It might have said, "Spaghetti Festival". What do you think?
 * Phoenix: Ok to me... Besides, Spaghetti is the only thing more tangled than your reasoning.

<hr width="50%">


 * Maya: When did you first get that porcupine cut?
 * Phoenix: ...Um, it's been like this ever since I was a little kid.
 * Maya: What!? You mean that's the way your hair is naturally!? I thought you had some sort of special "Phoenix Cut" deal with the barber. I mean... You usually only see hair like that in a video game.
 * Phoenix: (Is my hair really that weird-looking?)

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 * Godot: I'm Godot. Legendary prosecutor. I've never lost a case.
 * Judge: Yes, your reputation precedes you. What kind of cases have you dealt with so far?
 * Godot: Ha...! None.
 * Judge: What did you say...?
 * Godot: I've never prosecuted a case before.
 * Judge: N-Never? But you said you've never lost before.
 * Godot: ...Exactly. I've never lost. I've never won before either.

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 * Godot: ... You did it. Didn't you?
 * Ron: Yes.
 * Phoenix: What?
 * Ron: Uh... (realizing his mistake) No no no no no no no! Th-Th-Th-That's not true!
 * Judge: Hmm... For a moment there I thought we'd set the record for the shortest trial ever.
 * Maya: *sigh* Well, Mr. DeLite already looks plenty guilty with that face he's making...
 * Phoenix: And once he opens his big mouth he'll probably put the last nail his own coffin.

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 * Judge: Order! Order! Mr. Godot! Can you explain this?
 * Godot:...
 * Judge: And stop drinking that coffee!

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 * Gumshoe: I don't know how to put this, but the guy was a bit of a moneygrubber.
 * Maya: Really? Me too! I just love money! I can't ever get enough!
 * Phoenix: (Please, stop leaning towards me like that.. You aren't getting to my wallet.)
 * Gumshoe: Anyway, it looks like he did some pretty shifty stuff to earn his millions.
 * Maya: Oh! So that's my problem! I think I need to be shiftier!
 * Phoenix: (Lemme go already...)

<hr width="50%"> (When Atmey says the victim must have just mistaken the identity of Mask✩DeMasque)
 * Phoenix: Mistook...you say?
 * Atmey: That's right. "Mistook". Coming from the Old Norse "mistaka" meaning "to take in error".

<hr width="50%">


 * (After Desiree thanks Phoenix for proving her husband innocent)
 * Phoenix: (*gulp* I can feel my face going red...)
 * Pearl: (suddenly appears) Mr. Nick! Mystic Maya! Congratulations!... *gasp* (was shocked to see Desiree and not too happy about it)
 * Phoenix: (...Talk about bad timing.)
 * Pearl: (begins to slap Phoenix) Mr. Nick! How could you!? (slap again) With another man's wife! (slap again) In front of Mystic Maya!
 * Phoenix: No no no! You've got it all wrong!
 * Pearl: (slap Phoenix again) I'll NEVER forgive you! (slap again) Never! (slap again) Ever!

Phoenix Wright

 * (After Phoenix sees Maya being 'hired' by Jean Armstrong) (I don't know whether to laugh or feel bad for Maya....Maybe I should do both…?)
 * (Referring to Gumshoe when he tries to deny having a crush on Maggey) (Note to self: Gossip with Maya about this later.)
 * (Referring to Mia in waitress's outfit with Mr. Kudo) (Mia's really got this guy eating out of her hands…)
 * (He's (Kudo) looking at me as if I was an evil Shogun…)
 * (He's (Kudo) got to be using some sort of infinite ammo code with that box of seeds…)
 * [Referring to Godot's drinking habits] (Do you have the slightest idea how many cups you've had by now…?)
 * ACK! NOT THE HAIR!
 * *gulp* (Maybe I should have brought a diaper with me today...)
 * You said you'd eat those seeds and sing the pigeon song!

Godot

 * A single drop of milk is all it takes to destroy the pure black magic in the cup!
 * You're saying that if something isn't normal, it simply isn't possible? Where does that leave the porcu-headed lawyer and the topknot chick over there... and the ungodly cool guy with the mask over here? Well, Trite?

Armstrong

 * Oui! Perfect! I will 'ire you!
 * Non, non, NON! You naughty man!

Victor

 * Yes! The uniform! It's a disgrace! You can practically see their... *turns pale* their... YES! It's a disgrace!
 * Victor Kudo doesn't make mistakes! I dot every 't' and cross every 'i'.
 * Pi-pi-pi-pigeon! P-Pretty pigeon!! *eating seeds*

Judge

 * You will suck down the penalty, Mr. Wright... and you will like it!
 * Sigh... Thank you, Mr. Kudo. You've certainly earned your Kudos for the day.

Dialogue (3-3)

 * Byrde: Ah! Is that… your attorney’s badge?
 * Phoenix: Actually, it’s a fake.
 * Byrde: Hoooly smokes! That’s it!!
 * Maya: Huh?
 * Byrde: That’s the badge your phony had, Mr. Wright!
 * Phoenix: You got duped by this…!?
 * Maya: But it’s a completely different color!
 * Phoenix: And what about the fact that it’s made of paper!?
 * Byrde: He said the badge got a tan as well, while he was in Hawaii on business.
 * Phoenix: (I’m beginning to see how my phony was able to gain her trust…)

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: Don't go licking the table cloth, OK, Maya?
 * Maya: Why would I lick it? I'm not a cat, Nick!
 * Phoenix: (Then why can I picture you doing just that?)

<hr width=50%>
 * Godot: If you have time for these games, you have time to present THAT piece of evidence.
 * Gumshoe: THAT piece sir?
 * Godot: Yes. THAT piece.
 * Gumshoe: .... Ahaha... Which piece was it again?
 * Godot: THIS! *throws coffee at Phoenix*
 * Phoenix: (Should I be grateful this coffee is only hot enough to give me first degree burns?)

<hr width=50%>
 * (After Phoenix Wright tastes one of the dishes in Trés Bien)
 * Phoenix: …Urp!
 * Maya: Well?
 * Phoenix: Are you hungry, Maya?
 * Maya: I'm starving!
 * Phoenix: Here. It's yours.
 * Maya: Really? (Tries it out) …Urp!
 * Phoenix: Remember, Maya! My wallet doesn't print money, so you'd better polish off the plate!
 * Maya: I…I've just remembered I've got to clean the toilet! (goes to another location)
 * Phoenix: Hey! (You can't be in that much of a hurry to clean the toilet!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Maya: Nick! That's the kind of talk that could hurt a girl!
 * Phoenix: Have you forgotten that Mr. Armstrong is a MAN, Maya?

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: (T-That coffee! It was laced with something I'm sure of it!)
 * Maya: Nick! My stomach! It hurts! …Oh wait, that's just the burger I had for breakfast.

<hr width=50%>
 * Judge: Mr… Um… Mr. Wright?
 * Phoenix: Yes, Your Honor?
 * Judge: Aaahhh!!
 * Phoenix: Wh-What's wrong?!
 * Judge: Nothing. It's just… whenever I addressed you in the previous trial, your response was... "Youse talkin' to me?" It was a little, well… intimidating.
 * Phoenix: No, no! That wasn't me! That was the phony Phoenix!
 * Judge: I see. So our trusty Phoenix Wright is back with us now, is he?
 * Phoenix: ("Our trusty"…)

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: So the victim was wearing a HMD?
 * Victor: HDTV, CD, DVD... What does it matter!?
 * Phoenix: (It was none of them actually, but anyway...)

<hr width=50%>
 * Godot: Ha! Whether you're a fake or the real deal, we'll find out soon enough.
 * Phoenix: But I can already tell you!! I am the real Phoenix Wright!
 * Godot: I wasn't questioning as to whether you were Phoenix Wright or not. I was questioning whether you're a real lawyer.
 * Phoenix: (There's no doubt about it. Behind that mask is someone who really hates me for some reason or another.)

<hr width=50%>
 * Judge: Mr, Wright. I would ask you to begin your cross-examination, but...
 * Phoenix: Yes?
 * Judge: Please, no intimidation tricks this time around. Is that understood?
 * Phoenix: I already told you! That wasn't me!

<hr width=50%>
 * Kudo: Oops!
 * Judge: Witness! You can't just "oops" your way out of this!

<hr width=50%>
 * (Referring to the lottery ticket)
 * Maya: I want to try it, Nick!
 * Phoenix: Then buy a ticket, Maya. With your own money!

<hr width=50%>
 * Detective: Can't you shut down the station's server? Chief! Quit playing on the Internet!
 * Chief: But my e-mail pen pal, 1337aZnPrInceSz!
 * Detective: Save it for later! I'm turning it off NOW!
 * Chief: Noooo! 1337aZnPrInceeeeeSz!!

<hr width=50%>
 * Gumshoe: They called him "the walking computer" at the place where he worked.
 * Maya: What happens when he crashes though!? Does he stop moving all of a sudden!?
 * Phoenix: (*groan* He wasn't a computer, Maya!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Maya: His workplace? Where's that?
 * Gumshoe: A computer firm called "Blue Screens, Inc." or something like that.
 * Maya: Sounds like a real stable company. This could be fun, Nick. Let's go!

<hr width=50%>
 * (After presenting incorrect evidence to Lisa Basil)
 * Maya: Umm, would you mind taking a look at this?
 * Basil: I'm sorry. That data is SuPer-Admin Restricted Desktop Access password-protected.
 * Maya: SuPer-Admin Restricted Desktop Access password-protected!? What? This is madness!
 * Phoenix: No, Maya, that is SPARDA.

<hr width=50%>
 * Armstrong: Urgh! I 'ave la shivers!
 * Armstrong: I must rub some of my oil all over my body before I become z'e nervous wreck!
 * Armstrong: Z'ere. Oh, oui, oui! Z'at feels good!
 * Phoenix: Urgh!
 * Armstrong: Oh là là! Excusez-moi, monsieur!
 * Phoenix: M-My eyes! My EYES!

<hr width=50%>
 * Maya: Ah! It's Xin Eohp!
 * Tigre: Who you callin' "Zinne Oooooooooooph"!?
 * Maya: Aaaaahhh! (disappears)
 * Phoenix: (Come out from under the table already, Maya!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Armstrong: Oui! W'iz you monsieur...everything feels right!
 * Godot: *with a smiling reaction while holding his coffee* Ha...
 * Phoenix: (Wow, he's totally unfazed! Doesn't anything intimidate this guy...?)

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: I-I think I need to clear my head.
 * Godot: Ha...! I'd say it's already empty, Trite!
 * Judge: I'm inclined to agree.
 * Armstrong: Yo tambien.
 * Phoenix: (What's with the Spanish all of a sudden!?)

<hr width=50%>
 * (Don Tigre roars in court)
 * Maya: Aaaaahhhhh! (disappears)
 * Phoenix: (Don't hide under the table, Maya! ...Unless there's room for me down there too!)
 * Judge: I… err… I… Would you mind!?
 * Tigre: What 'youse say to me!?
 * Judge: N-N-N-Nothing! I didn't say nuddin'! Honest!
 * Phoenix: (Who could've guessed that fear would induce a bad Brooklyn accent in the judge?)
 * Tigre: I got a business to take care of, ya hear me? So who the hell called me into this hole?! Was it you', spikey?!
 * Phoenix: Ack, no. Of course not… It was… the judge… (Notices the judge is gone) Y-Your Honor!!!
 * Judge: Oh, dear! I, um… I seem to have dropped my pen. Where on earth is it…? Don't mind me! Just carry on with the proceedings as normal!
 * Phoenix: (That's it. We're doomed.)

<hr width=50%>
 * Judge: Ruh-roh! (hides)

<hr width=50%>
 * Tigre: So I dare you to say it again! Come on! You got the guts!?
 * Judge: (Still scared) Y-Y-You can't threaten m-me, Mr. Tigre. I-It's the defense! Go ahead and tell the witness, Mr. Wright!
 * (Wright has disappeared)
 * Judge: Mr. Wriight!
 * Tigre: Sounds to me like it must be you, old man. Youse got guts, I'll give you that.
 * Judge: M-M-Mr. Wright! Do not leave me to handle this alone!

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: V-Very impressive Mr. Godot, waiting for my absence to launch your attack!
 * Godot: Ha...! Found your pen at last, Trite?
 * Phoenix: It was in my pocket.

<hr width=50%>
 * Tigre: I can see through you Phoenix Wright! That ain't the bottle with the cyanide in it.
 * Phoenix: No, no. This is the bottle we found traces of the poison in.
 * Tigre: Don't mess with The Tiger or you're going to get ripped to shreds! The cyanide bottle was brown. And it was made of glass. That cheap piece of trash don't look nothin' like that!
 * (Phoenix just stares at him, Godot's visor is smoking, the judge is shocked and the whole court room is completely silent)
 * Phoenix: (Got him. At last…)
 * Tigre: Wh-What? Why's everyone gone quiet?

<hr width=50%>
 * Tigre: Youse don't know who youse messin' with! I'm The Tiger! I control millions of dollars on the black market! Youse think I'm gonna let some jumped-up suit get the better of me!?
 * Phoenix: Sure, the past piece of evidence was phony. But that's just what you deserve! The phony trial with a phony lawyer... It was all played out by you, the biggest phony of all!
 * (Tigre emits a scream so long and loud that it eventually causes the lights in the courtroom to shatter)
 * Judge: Wh-What's going on?
 * Bailiff: It looks like a blackout.
 * Godot: Well done... Trite. (lights back on) I've saved my 17th cup of coffee just for you. (Camera shows the coffee landed on Phoenix's head) Savor it... While you watch your caged prey.

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: (referring to Trés Bien's waitress suit) Anyone could wear that uniform! Even me!
 * Judge: Mr. Wright! Please spare the court of any further mental anguish from that image.

<hr width=50%>
 * Phoenix: Hey, someone left a job brochure here.
 * Victor: H-Hey! Give that back! That's mine!!
 * Phoenix: (Too bad, now that you want it I'm not going to part with it.)

Judge

 * Why, Mr. Edgeworth... I'm not sure I like you wagging your finger at me as though I were some hoser!
 * Or-Order! Order in the court! What is the meaning of all this ballyhoo...!?
 * "To err is human, to forgive, divine."
 * Did you hear that Ms. Fey? I believe Mr. Edgeworth just called you a canucklehead.

Diego Armando

 * I came to see how our little kitten was doing all alone in the big, scary lion's den. ...I thought maybe you'd like someone to play with.
 * The courtroom can be a cold battlefield, alright. Especially... for a beginner.
 * But maybe you should keep your claws out, and show them what you've got... Kitten.
 * A lawyer is someone who smiles no matter how bad it gets.
 * Mia... Don't you get it? You can't cry yet. The only time a lawyer can cry is when it's all over.

Dialogue (3-4)

 * Mia: ...Err, umm... So why did you escape anyway?
 * Fawles: Ah. Ah. UGGA!
 * Mia: Eeeeek! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

<hr width=50%>
 * Fawles: I never... I never lie! I din't escape from nowhere!
 * Mia: Err... But, Mr. Fawles... The police just recaptured you two days ago.
 * Fawles: ... Ugh. Sorry. I told a little lie.
 * Mia: (Oh boy...)

<hr width=50%>
 * Judge: Yes, yes...
 * Judge: It's quite obvious that the defendant is guilty.
 * Mia: *OBJECTION!*
 * Mia: W-Wait a minute! That's not right!
 * Mia: At least hear the case before you decide on the outcome, Your Honor!
 * Judge: Grrrngh...

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: Young people these days simply don't know how to respect their elders.
 * Mia: (Why you...! You're even younger than me, you hypocrite!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Gumshoe: Hey, ma'am! You got any idea how much work it takes... ......
 * Mia: Wh-What is it?
 * Gumshoe: You... Y-You're really gorgeous...
 * Mia: Excuse me?
 * Gumshoe: No, seriously... My heart... It's aching for you...
 * Edgeworth: Detective, I suggest you get back on topic. Otherwise I'll write you on contempt so quickly, something other than your heart will ache.

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: Now then, if the defense is quite done embarassing itself...
 * Mia: (Boy would I like to wrap this scarf around his smarmy little neck!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Armando: Hey, Kitten... Have you ever put salt in your coffee?
 * Mia: No... Why would I!?
 * Armando: Why not?
 * Mia: Huh...?
 * Armando: It may actually go better with coffee than sugar, right?
 * Mia: ...
 * Armando: Listen. My point is if you're not sure, you might as well add a ton of salt to it. It might... bring out the rust in something. Like a piece of evidence.
 * Mia: (He's right, Mia... Go present something. You've got nothing to lose!)
 * Armando: By the way, I wouldn't put salt in my coffee. The two don't go well, after all.

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: All you have to do is tell us only what you saw.
 * Edgeworth: Otherwise the mean lady might yell at you again.
 * Mia: (Who is he talking about!?)

<hr width=50%>
 * Fawles: Dahlia. My girlfriend. My love. My Teen Angel.
 * Mia: (Ugh. Did he actually say, "My Teen Angel"? He's seen one too many soap operas.)

<hr width=50%>
 * Armando: Your "Teen Angel"...? How old was she anyway?
 * Fawles: Just 14...
 * Mia: F-F-Fourteen!? (I guess you were robbing cradles before diamonds...)

Phoenix Wright

 * "Shichishito". The treasured Kurain Village heirloom whose name means "7 Branched Sword". It is said that this sacred sword represents life itself. Though the branches may appear infinite, the choices limitless... like our destinies, the sword comes to but one end. One merciless point. And when the silver cord, the fragile thread that binds us to this world, is severed... the illusion is revealed and the implacability of fate is finally laid bare.
 * Hmm... I see it now... Zvarri! A fortune-teller...?
 * (Now I'm definitely up the creek without a paddle... or a life jacket)
 * (To Godot) Objection! Could you please knock it off with the cheesy proverbs and illogical metaphors already!?
 * Um...The rest of this court doesn't speak Coffeenese. Can you elaborate a bit more?
 * Nnghn! (Did the judge take smart pills during the last recess?)
 * Hey! I don't have anything to do with spirit power. The only thing I can channel is a TV.
 * Of course the victim was flying through the air! You can see it right there in the sketch! ...Whoooooosh!
 * It's only natural for living creatures to fight to protect their own lives. But what makes us human is that we fight for others. But who do you fight for? How hard must you fight...? That's the true measure of what human life is worth.

Godot

 * You look like I did after I mistakenly took a swig of Worcestershire sauce.
 * You think maybe my beans are under-roasted, but you have no idea, gramps.
 * Cute girls never lie. Ever.
 * People are like books. We've all got a front and a back. You get my drift?
 * I can also say that darkness loves to play with the human mind.
 * There are 253 distinct types of bitterness in coffee... But to pick out each one requires total concentration and the use of all the senses.
 * We can't see the demons that lurk in the night... That's why humans are weak.
 * I'm only going to say this once, Lady von Whippingberg. Go home!
 * Upon meeting a beautiful lady, always ask for her name and profession. That's one of my rules.

Dick Gumshoe

 * ...You sure have one mean punch, Mr. Edgeworth! It's down-right fierce!
 * The truth is... when I was a little boy... I wanted to be a wizard.

Dahlia Hawthorne

 * From the day I was born to the day I died, I never helped anyone! I lived for myself and, in the end, I died for myself.

Franziska von Karma

 * A fool who doesn't think is more foolish than a fool who foolishly thinks.
 * He's got so much pride that he's probably off crying in a corner of the garden...
 * Pride is simply another trap that hinders us in our lives.
 * You huffy, puffy, loosey-goosey excuse for a whimpering, whining wuss of a witness!

Miles Edgeworth

 * The guard is glaring at me. "If someone glares at you, it's only polite to return the favor," is what I was taught.
 * (Gumshoe indeed! Like gum on your shoe, he's impossible to get rid of!)
 * (... D-Do I really inspire this sort of frothing desire from the female masses?)
 * (Was it the evidence or the power of my glare that broke that lock...?)
 * It is a prosecutor's job to doubt people. But right now... I am a defense attorney. A defense attorney's job is to believe in people, and to believe until the bitter end.
 * (It's not a bad feeling, exposing contradictions like this. Now I understand that happy look on Wright's face every time he does it...)
 * ("Can I prove it...?" That isn't the issue. To simply "prove it". That's the only option! That's what he'd do... That's the way Phoenix Wright would do this!)
 * (to Gumshoe after leaving out an important detail) This is exactly why your salary keeps getting cut!
 * I cannot recommend looking at that sketch. His (Larry's) "works of art" are a force of nature best measured on the Richter scale.

The Judge

 * I-I'm a spoon?! I'm no spoony bard, I'll have you know!

Dialogue (3-5)

 * Pearl: ...And what does this word say?
 * Elise: That? It says "roast." That's kind of a tough word.
 * Phoenix: (Just what kind of book are they reading?)

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 * Edgeworth: (when seeing the Psyche-Locks for the first time) (W-WHAT IN THE WORLD?!)
 * Iris: Um, is something wrong?
 * Edgeworth: Um, no. I-It's nothing. (Looks like she's not aware of them herself. This must be what Wright was telling me about... the Psycholocks.)

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 * Gumshoe: It's simple!
 * Edgeworth: Well, simple is as simple does, they say.
 * Gumshoe: Oh, you've got no idea how much I've missed that biting sarcasm of yours, sir!

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 * Iris: I... I didn't want Mr. Wright to fall into its grip.
 * Edgeworth: (Well, he wound up falling into something much deeper and colder... I probably shouldn't say that out loud, though. Thank god for inner monologue.)

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 * Edgeworth: [referring to some flags on a line] What is this festive-looking ornament?
 * Larry Butz: It reminds me of art class in grade school. We used to have a lot of fun decorating the classroom with origami. Remember?
 * Edgeworth: W-Well, I…
 * Larry Butz: Oh, yeah… You never were any good at it.
 * Gumshoe: Really?
 * Larry Butz: Yeah, this guy was so bad, he couldn't even fold a dollar, let alone a crane. Everyone tried to comfort him, but he would just sit there sobbing.
 * Gumshoe: Really? I never would have expected that.
 * Edgeworth: Be quiet already! I'll never forget the shame of that day! You want a crane! I can now make a perfect quarter-inch crane without a single flaw!
 * Larry Butz: …You know, Edgey… Nothing for nothing, but a quarter-inch crane without a single flaw is not easy.
 * Gumshoe: Yeah, that's quite a feat, Prosecutor Edgeworth!
 * Edgeworth: (Grr… This is exactly why I hate childhood friends...)

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 * Edgeworth: (Her fingerprints are on the murder weapon...!?)
 * Gumshoe: ... What's wrong? You're looking really solemn.
 * Edgeworth: Is this how it is for Wright? Is this what it's like to be a defense lawyer?
 * Gumshoe: Yeah, I figure it doesn't feel really good.
 * Edgeworth: ...To be honest, it feels more like it's detrimental to your health.

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 * (Edgeworth has just finished breaking Larry Butz's Psyche-Locks)
 * Edgeworth: I believe you saw something last night. Something more incredible than lightning.
 * Butz: ... Wh-what!? Wh-When!? Wh-Where!? Wh-Why!? H-How!?
 * Gumshoe: Hey! What do you think you're doing!? If you hide anything from Mr. Edgeworth, I'll arrest you on the spot, pal!
 * Butz: Ah... Aaaaaaaaaaaah!!
 * (Five more Psyche-Locks appear)
 * Edgeworth: ...Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

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 * Butz: I was at that lodge out in the mountains, looking up at the stars that night.
 * Hold it!
 * Edgeworth:...
 * Judge: What ever is the matter, Mr. Edgeworth?
 * Edgeworth: This one single statement is so full of contradictions... For a moment there, I thought I was going to collapse.
 * Judge: Hmm...
 * von Karma: So, witness? Any idea as to where these contradictions in your testimony lie? Depending on your answer... I may let my whip have its way.
 * Butz: OK, give me a minute... Well, it was snowing that night so I couldn't possibly have seen the stars. That run-down shack is hardly a "lodge", is it...? And even if the stars could be seen, it isn't like I was there to look at them, right?
 * Edgeworth: (angry) ...
 * von Karma: See? You can do it if you try.
 * Butz: Heh heh heh- (gets whipped) OU-OU-OUCH!

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 * Butz: So see!? I've got nothing to do with this trial! At all! I expect all of your faces to be red when you realize this mistake! Bright red! Or, to use the technical term, "crimson lake." (gets whipped) ...Ou-Ou-Ouch! (gets whipped 5 times) Ou-Ou-Ou-Ouch! Ouch! Ou-Ouch!
 * von Karma: Stop your pathetic blabbing and testify like a man!

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 * Edgeworth: Are...
 * von Karma: You...
 * Judge: ...High! The girl… She's really high up in this picture!

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 * von Karma: In truth, I was shocked. I came back to America with the intention of defeating you. Instead, it was my little brother who was leading the defense.
 * Phoenix: (Edgeworth... Come to think of it... Edgeworth was pulled into being a prosecutor by Manfred von Karma as well.)
 * von Karma: Miles Edgeworth told me something very interesting, you know. He said this case has a special significance to you.
 * Phoenix: Because it does.
 * von Karma: And that's precisely why I am here. Your personal involvement will make crushing you into teensy weensy pieces all the better!
 * Phoenix: ... (It's probably the fever, but... She's so openly hostile that it's almost kinda cute.) (gets whipped) OWW!
 * von Karma: No smirking!
 * Phoenix: No whipping the sick!

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 * Edgeworth: How long were you in the bath for, if you don't mind me asking?
 * Bikini: …My, my, my, what a filthy little rogue you are! I know what's on your mind!
 * Edgeworth: …?
 * Bikini: I bet your next question is going to be, "Where exactly did you wash?" Ah, THIS is why you have to watch the young ones…
 * Edgeworth: W-What are you going on about!? I was…(gets whipped) Gwah!
 * von Karma: …Pathetic, Miles Edgeworth.
 * Judge: The lowest of the low.
 * Edgeworth: (Is there some sort of "Kick Me" sign stuck to the defense's bench!?)

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 * von Karma: A fool's fool fools fools who foolishly accept the foolishness of a fool's fool. Wouldn't you agree… Phoenix Wright?
 * Phoenix: Eh…? Wait a second…I-I know you.… You're…um… (Gets whipped by her) Oww!
 * von Karma: Your reflexes and mind need to shape up!
 * Phoenix: (My brain's frying like a sunny-side up and you want me to grill over a name?!)

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 * von Karma: It must be very trying for you, little girl.
 * Pearl: Ah! You're…
 * von Karma: I am Franziska von Karma. The Prodigy. There's no need to worry now that I'm here.
 * Pearl: You're the prosecutor who was so mean to Mystic Maya last year.
 * von Karma: (shocked) Well…
 * Pearl: I…I don't like you. You're nothing but a little girl without your whip!
 * von Karma: (speechless)
 * Pearl: Mystic Maya didn't do anything wrong, but you were so mean! I'll never forgive you!
 * von Karma: (speechless) I…I…!
 * Phoenix: (It looks like Pearls' words are getting under her skin…)
 * von Karma: (Angrily whips Phoenix)
 * Phoenix: Yeowwww! Why are you whipping me!? I didn't even say anything!
 * von Karma: You didn't have to. The smile on your lips gave you away!

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 * Gumshoe: We're using the department's secret weapon on this!
 * Phoenix: Secret weapon...? What's this secret weapon of yours?
 * Gumshoe: You wanna know? You've gotta think scientifically, OK?
 * Phoenix: Alright.
 * Gumshoe: The murder weapon was a sword. Swords are, scientifically speaking, made of metal, right? Any questions so far?
 * Phoenix: No. (I know what he's gonna say, but I'll let him look smart.)
 * Gumshoe: So what's the perfect tool for the job!? Ta-da! A metal detector!
 * Phoenix: (Raise your hand if you didn't see this coming from a mile away...)

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 * Dahlia: I already told you… Maya Fey is dead.
 * Phoenix: N-No! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

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 * Godot: As they say... "A cornered fox is more dangerous than a jackal".
 * Phoenix: (slams desk) I believe the correct definition of a cornered fox is "scared and petrified".
 * Godot: … Your animal analogies have grown tiresome!
 * Phoenix: (You were the one who started it!)

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 * Judge: I'm terribly sorry, but what you heard from someone else simply isn't admissible as testimony.
 * Maya: Whaaaaat?! Pearly wouldn't lie! Pearly's a way more honest person than I'll ever be!
 * Phoenix: (Real smart, Maya. You always know what to say when you're under oath.)

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 * Godot: I was the one that failed to protect Mia… …Me and no one else. I tried to avert my eyes from the truth… to escape from the harshness of reality. I just couldn't face Mia's death head on, so I ran! I hid behind a mask. I threw away my true name. I couldn't even deal with being a defense attorney anymore, so I quit.
 * Phoenix: But, but! You saved Maya!
 * Godot: Yeah. That was my plan… Up until just now, anyway.
 * Maya: Wh-what do you mean?
 * Godot: (drinks) Are you listening, Maya? If I had really wanted to save you… …then there's one person that I should have gone and talked to right away.
 * Maya: Wh-who do you mean? Are you talking about Nick?
 * Godot: But I didn't do it… I tried to get the help of Iris and your mother… I closed my eyes to the most important man involved. Do you know why? The real reason?
 * Maya: No… Why?
 * Godot: I suppose… I wasn't really interested in saving you at all.
 * Maya: Huh?
 * Godot: I think I was just trying to salvage what's left of my own broken soul… I was trying to make up for the fact that I couldn't save Mia. Nothing more. That's why I let you walk right into a situation that I knew was dangerous. Forgive me…
 * Phoenix: Y-You're wrong! You put your life on the line to save Maya!
 * Godot: (shakes his head) Was it really for Maya's sake…? Even I'm not really sure.
 * Judge: Wh-What do you mean by that…?
 * Godot: That night, in the darkness of the garden, when I saw her silhouette…a part of me must have known it… That it wasn't really Dahlia Hawthorne that was standing there in front of me.
 * Maya: …!
 * Godot: It could have been Misty Fey… Or even that little girl. But still, I picked up that blade as though I were in a dream! I'm not sure exactly what was going on in my mind at that point… Was I really motivated by a pure desire to protect Maya Fey? Or was it something else…? Was it hatred for a woman who had stolen everything from me 6 years earlier…? Could it have been simply a desire for revenge? And now, I don't know anything anymore! I did learn something today, however. I finally realized that I was the arrogant one. I was just… chasing an illusion, a fantasy. The stupid fantasy of defeating you in the courtroom…
 * Phoenix: …
 * Godot: You were the one who taught me that. You never ran away from Mia's death. Instead, you picked up where she left off, as a true defender of the people. In that one moment... I understood everything!
 * Phoenix: Mr. Godot…
 * Godot: (shakes his head) I'm sure you already know this…but if you don't… My name is… Diego Armando.
 * Maya: M-Mr. Armando! I believe in you! I know you were trying to save me!
 * Godot: (blood seeps out from under his visor) Hmm… Thanks.
 * Phoenix: Y-Your wound…! It's bleeding!
 * Godot: ...Ha! Did you forget already? In my world, the color red doesn't exist.
 * Phoenix: ...!
 * Godot: These must be… my tears.
 * Judge: Tears…?
 * Godot: Ever since I woke up from my coma… …I think I've been waiting for this very moment.
 * Maya: M-Mr. Armando…
 * Godot: You'd do well to remember this, Maya. The only time a lawyer can cry is when it's all over.

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 * Iris: I want to… I want to apologize to you.
 * Phoenix: Apologize? To me? For what?
 * Iris: For the case six years ago, of course.
 * Judge: I just remembered… Weren't you poisoned by your own lover?
 * Phoenix: …Not exactly, but yeah, something like that. Even now… 6 years later, I can hardly believe it. She was going to do it… She was planning to kill me…
 * Iris: ……It's not all that surprising. The two of you… You hardly knew each other.
 * Phoenix: Huh...? What do you mean?
 * Iris: You and my sister… You only met twice.
 * Phoenix: ……Huh. W-We only met t-twice?
 * Iris: The first time you met was on that fateful day… The day she poisoned Mr. Armando in the cafeteria of this very courtroom. The next time you met her was… six months later. You met her again on the day that she stole your cold medicine… and Doug Swallow was killed.
 * Phoenix: N-N-No way! It just… It can't be true! I mean, during our whole relationship, we were...
 * Iris: ……For those six months… …the girl that you thought was Dahlia Hawthorne… She wasn't actually my sister.
 * Phoenix: (Huh? It wasn't Dahlia…?)
 * Iris: I hope one day you can forgive me… Feenie.
 * Phoenix: You… Y-Y-You mean…?
 * Iris: That's right… I lied to you… for six months.
 * Judge: B-But why…!? Why would you do such a thing?
 * Iris: Ever since she gave you the bottle that day… my sister was trying to get it back as soon as she possibly could. Because of the police investigation and their surveillance… she couldn't move about freely.
 * Phoenix: So that's why you…?
 * Iris: My sister… From the beginning, she was prepared for the worst.
 * Phoenix: P-Prepared for the worst?
 * Iris: She thought that you might discover the truth. That's why she was always ready to deal with you at a moment's notice…
 * Phoenix: (You mean she was ready to kill me, don't you…?)
 * Iris: She already had so much to answer for, I didn't want any more sins on her soul. I begged her not to do it, and she agreed to give me a chance.
 * Phoenix: And that's why… you came to me? You came to get the bottle pendant back from me in her place?
 * Iris: But I couldn't get you to give it back… I failed at something even as simple as that. Six months passed and I still couldn't get it back from you. Finally, my sister couldn't wait any longer. She didn't consult me about her plans for you that day. …It was the first time that had ever happened.
 * Phoenix: That was a bit strange, wasn't it? Up until that day, you two were partners in crime, and she would confer with you…
 * Iris: I think… she must have noticed.
 * Phoenix: …? Noticed what?
 * Iris: My feelings for you. If I had found out that she planned to kill you… …I would have done whatever was neccesary to stop her. Even if it meant her life… or mine.
 * Phoenix: I-Iris…!
 * Iris: After spending half a year by your side… My feelings for you… They changed.
 * Phoenix: …… I have something to say to you, too.
 * Iris: Y-Yes?
 * Phoenix: You really are the person I always thought you were. Even after Dahlia Hawthorne was found guilty… I still believed in you.
 * Iris: …… Thank you.

Ending

 * Phoenix: It's only natural for living creatures to fight to protect their own lives. But what makes us human is that we fight for others.  But who do you fight for?  How hard must you fight...?  That's the true measure of what human life is worth.  We defense attorneys are warriors who are constantly challenged by that question.  Even when the battle is over, and the bonds that connect us are severed...  We always return... Time and time again.  Mia, Maya, Pearls, Mr. Armando... and Maya's mother, too... I learned that... from all of them.

= Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney =

Apollo Justice

 * Don't worry. I was up at 5 A.M. practicing my "Chords of Steel!"

Winston Payne

 * To think I saw you enter this room a fresh attorney... and now I'll see you leave in chains.
 * Yes, it seems our defense attorney has sunk to an all new low.
 * The defendant took a bottle to the victim... and he hit him!! WHAM! On the head! Out cold!
 * What about me!? Don't I get to prosecute anyone!?

Dialogue (4-1)

 * Apollo: No need to worry, sir! I'm fine!
 * Kristoph: Ah, and Apollo? You shouldn't say you're fine quite so much. People might take you the wrong way.
 * Apollo: *gulp*

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 * Phoenix: So, you're...
 * Apollo: Fine! I-I'm fine!
 * Phoenix: Ah... Mr. Fine, is it?
 * Apollo: Uh.
 * Phoenix: I did remember you having an odd name.
 * Apollo: (Well, we're off to a great start.)

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 * Judge: I was under the impression that you would be heading up the defense today.
 * Kristoph: Well, yes I was, Your Honor, but a client's requests must be met and my client specifically asked for Justice.
 * Judge: Well, of course he wants Justice, but to entrust the case with this greenhorn... I do not exaggerate when I say you're the best defense attorney in town, Mr. Gavin.
 * Apollo: (OK, so Gavin's got experience. Fine. But does he have "Chords of Steel"..?)

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 * Payne: Attorneys these days... You don't know your poker?
 * Judge: I can't say this bodes well for your career… or your case.
 * Apollo: (What is this, some kind of secret courtroom poker ring?)

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 * Apollo: Objection! O-B-J-E-C-T-I-O-N!
 * Judge: No need to shout, Mr. Justice! I can hear you just fine!
 * Apollo: Aha ha ha…
 * Kristoph: Excess yelling can damage the judge's ears… and our case.
 * Apollo: (B-But what about my Chords of Steel…?)

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 * Judge: H-hold on just a moment! Where's the witness?
 * Payne:: I'd surmise that she has been frightened by the defense's demonic-looking horns!
 * Apollo: (So I used a little hair gel! Relax, people!)
 * Judge: Have no fear! If any horns point in your direction this court will cut them off.
 * Olga: (Still scared)…You… are sure?
 * Judge: I swear it on my gavel! Please, come out!
 * Apollo: Isn't violence against hair a crime, Your Honor?

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 * Kristoph: (after Apollo figured out that Phoenix was winning the poker game) Well done, Apollo. It almost as if you figured it out yourself.
 * Apollo: Well, I'm just glad I was the one who said it!

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 * Apollo: Because... Mr. Wright can't lose!
 * Kristoph: Um... Apollo? Maybe you could come up with a more legitimate objection?

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Some incorrect choices on recreating the crime scene
 * Judge: Which indicator in this diagram contradicts what we know about the crime?
 * Apollo: TAKE THAT!

(No indicator)
 * Apollo: This indicator has to be wrong!
 * Judge: Which indicator is that? I'm not sure I see anything there.
 * Apollo: ...Um... Look closer?
 * Judge: Oh yes, I see something there now... Why, it's a penalty!

Victim
 * Apollo: The indicator in question is... the victim's!
 * Judge: I... see no particular problem with the victim's location.
 * Apollo: Ah, good. That's good to know.
 * Judge: No, it's not! Penalty!

1st Witness
 * Apollo: What doesn't make sense is the witness!
 * Judge: Ms. Olga Orly? Wasn't she unconscious at the time?
 * Apollo: ...Erm, yes. I suppose she was.
 * Judge: I fail to see how an unconscious witness can contradict anything. Yet this conscious Judge can penalize you, and he just did!

2nd Witness
 * Kristoph: You mean to say I don't make sense?
 * Apollo: N-No! Of course you do s-sir!
 * Kristoph: As I thought.
 * Apollo: (Help...)

Apollo Justice

 * Here's what I want you to do, Trucy. Take that memory, gently lock it away deep in your heart, and never speak of it.
 * (Why does he have to be so... cool?)
 * *towards Wesley Stickler* (Fine. Ignore my evidence. See if I care. ...I wonder what he's think- On second thoughts, let's not go there.)

Phoenix Wright

 * Ah, 'presenting' are we? I used to do a fair share of that myself.
 * *Looks at attorney badge* What's that? It looks strangely familiar...

Klavier Gavin

 * Tell me you share my angst, Herr Forehead.
 * A glaring contradiction to be sure... More glaring than your forehead!
 * Achtung, baby! Today, we play it my way!

The Judge

 * Is that... women's underwear?
 * Too many brides these days can't even weave baskets blindfolded... underwater.
 * Let's see... PANTIES!! Again!?

Ema Skye

 * Why don't you kids run along and play someplace else? Or I might spill something on that pretty face of yours. Want a dose of experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase?
 * Quiet please... It's snack time.

Dialogue (4-2)

 * Trucy: Oh hey! An attorney badge? My Daddy has one of those too. Here, give that to me a second. Now if I do this... and this... ta da!
 * Apollo: Ack! My badge! Bring it back!
 * Trucy: Don't worry, just check your pocket.
 * Apollo: My pocket! (T-There's something in there!) ...This is... the flyer for your talent agency?!
 * Trucy: And here's your badge. You can have it back now.
 * Apollo: That's the last time I let her touch anything of mine. Period.

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 * Apollo: There's something that, well, it doesn't sit right. I just can't believe you have a daughter, Mr. Wright! And... she's so big! Not fat, but, er, you know what I mean.
 * Phoenix: Oh, Trucy's still a child.
 * Trucy: Daddy! How many times do I have to remind you! I'm not a child anymore!
 * Phoenix: Ah ha ha! But you'll always be Daddy's little baby girl to me, Trucy.
 * Apollo: (Ah ha ha, my foot. I'm not buying it.)

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 * Trucy: *In the Meraktis Clinic garage* Alright! Let's see if we can find some clues. Clues for finding a panty snatcher! Clues... like a pair of panties!
 * Apollo: Um... Trucy. Could you stop saying panties so much, please?

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 * Apollo: The evidence that shows why he lied...is this.
 * Judge: What? More panties?!
 * Klavier: How many panties are you carrying in your pocket, Herr Forehead?
 * Apollo: These are the last!! Honest!!

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 * Apollo: *presenting Trucy's panties to Phoenix* We found these too. They're Trucy's.
 * Phoenix: Good job, Apollo. But as a father, I have to wonder why you're still carrying around Trucy's panties in your pocket.
 * Apollo: (Ack! That'll teach me to show evidence to Mr. Wright!)

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 * Trucy: Ack! Don't touch Mr. Charley!
 * Apollo: "Mister" Charley...?
 * Trucy: He's been in this office much longer than I have! Daddy's mentor had a great fondness for Mr. Charley. He's lived here ever since Daddy was a rookie attorney.
 * Apollo: Huh. (Mr. Charley... riiight.)

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 * Apollo: That's one of those hula hoop things everyone was crazy about way back when.
 * Trucy: Really? I had no idea they were that popular!
 * Apollo: I'm not so bad with one myself, actually.
 * Trucy: Eh!? I-I'm still learning... So you can really make someone levitate with it? Show me!
 * Apollo: Huh!? I-I have no idea how! (It's just a normal hula hoop, isn't it?)

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 * Apollo: That table... doesn't look very sturdy.
 * Trucy: You've never seen one of these? It's a magic table!
 * Apollo: So, like, you make this teapot disappear?
 * Trucy: So you might think! But that's not it... Before your very eyes, the contents of the pot change! ...From Earl Grey to Darjeeling!
 * Apollo: Kinda hard to see the difference I'd think...

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 * Trucy: Little Plum? That's a really cute name for someone so...
 * Plum: Yes...? *draws sword from broom*
 * Apollo: Whoa!
 * Trucy: What is it, Apollo?
 * Apollo: How about you go through me when talking to her, OK, Trucy?
 * Trucy: Huh? That seems like a bit of a needless procedure.
 * Apollo: I'm a lawyer. I live for needless procedures.

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 * Apollo: Looks like there's some trouble by the park gate.
 * Trucy: I smell an incident!
 * Officer: Ma'am! There's no entry to the park!
 * Old Lady: Now don't you tell me where I can't go, young fella! *climbing over hedge* I always walk through this park on my way home!
 * Officer: Please, get down from there! You'll hurt yourself, ma'am!
 * Apollo: (That's quite the determined old lady...)

<hr width=50%> ''*Trucy has just been taken from the courtroom in a surprise attack as Apollo chases her. She is standing in the lobby*''
 * Apollo: T... Trucy! You're OK! I-I thought... *sniff* *sob* *bawl*
 * Trucy: D-Don't cry Apollo!
 * Apollo: Grr... Those good for nothing gangsters, there are some things you just don't do! I'm pressing charges!
 * Trucy: Wait! Just calm down, Apollo. Or else...

* Trucy presses a button and Mr. Hat appears*
 * Apollo: Aaaauuugh! Wh-Wh-What the heck is that?
 * Trucy: Suprised? This is one of my best tricks! The Amazing Mr. Hat!
 * Mr. Hat: 'You look mahvelous, dahling!'
 * Apollo: ...
 * Trucy: He's a big hit on stage at the Wonder Bar.
 * Mr. Hat: 'Yes. I am a big hit. Ha ha ha.'
 * Trucy: Well, what do ya think? Do ya like it?
 * Apollo: You mean you... Trucy! There are some things you just don't do! I...I'm pressing charges!

<hr width=50%>
 * Trucy: So Mr. Meraktis was your rival?
 * Guy: ...You like those onions they put in the soup broth?
 * Apollo: Um, yeah, kind of.
 * Guy: You take a spoon, you drink some broth... Those onions will find their way in there. For people who like 'em, why that's just fine. For people who hate 'em... ...I hate onions. Hate 'em! Always sneaking in from the side, gettin' in the way of a good tastin' spoonful. Well, that's what he was. An onion! Onion-boy, that's what I called 'im.
 * Apollo: So... you weren't exactly friends.

<hr width=50%> (Apollo presents wrong evidence)
 * Judge: This is proof of why the car broke down that night!? Well, Prosecutor Gavin?
 * Klavier: Ah, it's proof of a malfunction, alright... A malfunction in Herr Forehead's brain.
 * Judge: The court accepts this evidence! (Penalty)

Apollo Justice

 * (Who would have imagined me here... ...at a Gavinners concert, watching Prosecutor Gavin "rock".)
 * ...Valant Gramarye! (...Using the door like an average muggle, no less.)
 * (C'mon. Can't I be cool for once!?)
 * I should have learned to play the guitar. "Chords of Steel" aren't very romantic.
 * But I'm a lawyer! I'm not supposed to be nice!
 * (Note to self: Ema lacks a sense of humor. Use caution.)

Trucy Wright

 * Sounds like they're having a spat. One of those "differences in musical direction" bands are always splitting up over.
 * How can you call someone as good as Machi a "pianist"? Why, that's like throwing him in the same class as Daddy!

Klavier Gavin

 * I play new rock, not Great Balls of Fire! Speaking of fire, I have a good mind to fire whoever's responsible!
 * Herr Forehead, save your wild accusations for the court. I do so enjoy the penalties.
 * The only thing wrong with Herr Forehead is his massive forehead.
 * Someday you'll come to understand... the importance of thinking for yourself.
 * Now you've done it. You've gone beyond ridiculous and into... ludicrous.

Ema Skye

 * Call me Ema. There's no need for titles once you've shared a bottle of fingerprinting powder!
 * Why can't we have a normal, straightforward killing once in awhile in this country!?

The Judge

 * (About a code number left by victim) Wait, what if the killer was a robot?

Dialogue (4-3)

 * Apollo: *breaking silence* W-What?
 * Trucy: You know... just for a moment there... you were cool.

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 * Apollo: Um... Ema?
 * *ka-tonk!*
 * Apollo: (She Snackoo'd me...)

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 * Trucy: Um, yeah, a wide flatscreen TV. I want one of those.
 * Ema: You'll be wanting for a long time on your salary.
 * Ema: Wait till you're as famous as Mr. Wright was, then dream.
 * Trucy: I don't think Daddy was ever rich, even when he was in law.
 * Apollo: Great, just stomp on my dreams, why don't you.

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 * Trucy: Yeah, but I'm a girl! I'm supposed to swoon over gods of rock!
 * Apollo: God-awful, maybe.

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 * Apollo: That's a pretty sturdy-looking box there. Maybe it's an instrument case. There's a guitar next to it.
 * Ema: Don't even think about taking that!
 * Apollo: I don't think I could even carry it...

(ka-tonk)
 * Apollo: (...She Snackoo'd me.)

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 * Apollo: Come to think of it, I'm a little thirsty...
 * Ema: I'll have some tea.
 * Apollo: .........I think I'll have the water-
 * Ema: (cuts in) I'll take a tea!
 * Apollo: If you want tea that badly, buy some yourself!

(ka-tonk)
 * Apollo: (She Snackoo'd me.)

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 * Apollo: A Gavineers "Guilty As Charged" tour poster.
 * Ema: They're plastered all over the place. It's annoying.
 * Apollo: Well, this is the concert venue. It makes sense.
 * Ema: Why? Everyone here is already here! Why advertise to them?
 * Apollo: People like to see the poster at the concert...It's part of the experience.
 * Ema: Do you have to find fault with everything I say?

(ka-tonk)
 * Apollo: (She Snackoo'd me.)

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 * Apollo: That's Prosecutor Gavin's...er, the Gavinners's dressing room.
 * Ema: Put so much as a hand on the door and I'll Snackoo you.
 * Apollo: Hold on! But I just came out of there!
 * Ema: Don't play smart with me!
 * Apollo: (*sigh*)

<hr width=50%>
 * Trucy Ooh! Apollo! Can I have some of that fruit, please?
 * Ema: Absolutely not!
 * Trucy: Yeah, yeah I know. But still I yearn!
 * Ema: Well, you're not the only one eyeing that fruit!
 * Trucy: So what are we waiting for? Let's eat!
 * Ema: Exactly!
 * Apollo: Woah! Woah! Woah! Are you two crazy? Ema, you should know better.
 * Ema: But s-she tempted me... She's a temptress!
 * Apollo: (Please grow up...)

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 * Apollo: Look at all these presents. Lamiroir sure is popular.
 * Trucy: I got a present once, from a person in the audience.
 * Apollo: That's pretty cool.
 * Trucy: Isn't it! Maybe you'll get one someday. ...From someone you defend!
 * Apollo: (That's called getting paid, and I certainly hope I do.)

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 * Apollo: It...It was a great concert.
 * Lamiroir: You heard me sing? Thank you.
 * Apollo: I was hoping to get an autograph later, actually...
 * Lamiroir: Of course.
 * Judge: Mr. Justice. This is a cross-examination! You're out of line! If anyone deserves an autograph here, it's me. One of my gavel would be nice.
 * Klavier: Herr Judge. (Toss an autograph of himself to the judge)
 * Judge: Wh-What's this?
 * Klavier: It's my autograph. Now keep this trial moving.
 * Judge: Wh-What!? Oh, my grandchild will be so happy!
 * Apollo: (Apparently, his grandson is a big fan...)

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 * Apollo: Well, what did you say for yourself?
 * Lamiroir: (speaks in gibberish)
 * Klavier:...She says "English is very difficult".
 * Apollo: That trick 's not going to work here.

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 * Apollo: That's one of the biggest expensive-looking TV's I've ever seen.
 * Trucy: Too bad you'll never own one.
 * Apollo: "Never"'s kind of harsh, Trucy.
 * Trucy: Hmm. How about 'for all eternity' then?

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 * Apollo: Huh, another ladder.
 * Trucy: Actually, it's technically a stepladder.
 * Apollo: Well hello, Ms. Fancy Pants! Please forgive my lack of ladder discrimination.
 * Trucy: !
 * Trucy: ......
 * Ema: I'm less worried about the ladder, and more worried about why it's there.
 * Apollo: (Why is the ladder there?)
 * Apollo: (Well, to climb, right? To reach something on the ceiling?)
 * Trucy: ......
 * Trucy: I still say it's a step ladder.

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 * Trucy: You know, my Daddy isn't very good with heights.
 * Apollo: Huh? Really?
 * Trucy: Yeah, he took me on this big Ferris Wheel once. Halfway to the top he turned green and kept mumbling "objection" over and over again.
 * Apollo: (Poor guy...)

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 * Crescend: Borginian Customs is very thorough. Everything and everyone gets checked.
 * Apollo: *HOLD IT!* Just how strict is this customs check?
 * Crescend: Way strict. They keep planes on the ground for hours.
 * Gavin: I do recall it being a bit extreme. They were even confiscating gumdrops and marshmallows.
 * Judge: Yes... It would be hard to distinguish between them (Borginian Cocoons)
 * Apollo: (That's right. Gavin was in Borginia, wasn't he.)
 * Gavin: I remember setting off the metal detector several times. I had to practically strip naked to walk through.
 * Apollo: (Here's a travel tip for you Gavin: leave the bling at home, you glimmerous fop.)

Apollo Justice

 * "Attorney Utterly Confused", end quote.
 * Or "I Still Have No Idea What You're Talking About", end quote, I might say.
 * ("Judge Has Active Imagination"... end quote.)
 * Believe me, any comic relief I may provide is entirely unintentional.

Phoenix Wright

 * (I didn't lose, I was merely ascertaining the facts... so why am I so annoyed?!)
 * (I think our friendly neighbourhood Mr. Hat just gave me a heart attack...)
 * "OBJECTION!" I can't help it, there's something about this model's pose that makes me yell that. I've got to get over it... I know! I'll pretend it's saying something else. 'Why yes! The post office is over there! Good day sir!'
 * (Their debut single was just 2 minutes and 15 seconds long? What a rip-off!)
 * (See that innocent smile? Everyone has a different way of breaking the news.)
 * People don't die that easily, really. ...As long as they've got something worth living for.

Trucy Wright

 * Everyone's got an opinion, and they just talk and talk and nothing gets decided.

Klavier Gavin

 * Welcome back to reality! We've been waiting for you.
 * Well, we know the motive for the killer now, except the killer would be you, Herr Judge, and the victim would be Herr Forehead!
 * "Logical"? I do not think this word means what you think it means, Herr Forehead!
 * The law is "absolute"...? You can't be serious.
 * ...Finally. You just couldn't resist, could you, Herr Wright..?

Judge

 * ...Mr. Wright. You have just presented illegal evidence to this court. My court.
 * The law is the end product of many years of history... the fruit of human knowledge! Like a gem, polished to a gleam through trials... and errors. It is this fruit we receive, and pass on, and face in our time. And it is always changing, growing. Nurturing it is our task as human beings.

Kristoph Gavin

 * What possible conclusion do you think this "investigation" of yours can lead to? I killed a man named "Smith" with a bottle because I am an evil human being. ...Isn't that enough?
 * Well, well, well. Whoever heard of a thief in jail?
 * Owning the same nail polish does not a murderer make.
 * ...Evidence is everything. There is nothing more.

Dialogue (4-4)

 * Trucy: Have you ever thought, all those spikes protect its top, but what about underneath it?
 * Apollo: (Must remember to keep Trucy away from small, round fish...)

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 * Phoenix: Can you tell me more about Zak Gramayre?
 * Trucy: Daddy? Sure thing, Daddy!
 * Phoenix: (Which Daddy was that again?)

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 * Trucy: ...What's this, Daddy? Isn't that silk hat the Gramarye seal?
 * Phoenix: Consider it a birthday present, Trucy.
 * Trucy: Thanks! It's great! But...today isn't my birthday.
 * Phoenix: ...Hmm. Good point. ...What day is it today, Apollo?
 * Apollo: Huh? Today? Um... I think it's "Recycle Your Plastics" day...
 * Phoenix: Then, it's a Recycle-Your-Plastics present.
 * Trucy: Yippee! So it's plastic!
 * Apollo: (I've given up trying to understand them. It's much easier that way.)

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 * Trucy: Here goes! Give us an impression, Mr. Hat!
 * Mr Hat: Objection!!! *Ahem!*
 * Apollo: That wasn't very good, and besides I prefer Ms. Magic Underwear...
 * Trucy: That's Magic Panties, Apollo!!

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 * Klavier: Many boys and girls joined the police because of that pistol, I hear.
 * Phoenix: (You know, that would explain a lot about the police force.)

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 * Valant: Alaka.....alaka......ALAKAZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMG

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 * Zak: You say the funniest things with a straightest face!
 * Phoenix: ...People always tell me that. (Except I wasn't joking.)

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 * Phoenix: You fail to grasp the concept of 'questioning', detective(Gumshoe).

(...)
 * Phoenix: You fail to grasp the concept of 'shooting people is bad', detective.

= Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth =

Miles Edgeworth

 * I believe the correct term here is, "You fail!"


 * I have no real interest in the perceived worth of other people. As for my own worth, that is something only I can determine for myself.

Dick Gumshoe

 * I'm just a lowly detective so... I'm not sure what to do with that, other than arrest it!

Maggey Byrde

 * I'm just a lowly security guard so... I'm not sure what to do with that, other than guard it!

Dialogue (5-1)

 * Edgeworth: ...Is this... yet another batch of fresh flowers...?
 * Gumshoe: The ones that come with a card attached every month like clockwork for you? Yup. Speaking of that! Let's see what's on the card this month, sir! " All will be resolved. --Wendy"
 * Edgeworth: (Oh, Ms. Irony. How painful are thy thorns.)
 * Gumshoe: Wendy... Isn't that the name of that old lady with the whiny voice that's stalk--
 * Edgeworth: That's enough, Detective. You need not remind me further. *shudder*

Miles Edgeworth

 * (Knowing her, the only kind of talking she likes to do is with her whip. Plus, I doubt the top-secret part was what stopped her from talking to you, Detective.)
 * (About Meele's sleeping on duty) (How has this woman not been fired yet?)

Franziska von Karma

 * Foolish reasoning for a foolish fool from a foolishly foolish fool meant to fool me…

Dialogue (5-2)

 * Edgeworth: It's a movie poster for... "License to Love, Laugh, Maim, and Murder"...
 * Teneiro: That's an iFly Airlines sponsored movie. It's a suspense-hardboiled-action-romance-horror-comedy movie.
 * Edgeworth: ...Is that the genre listing for this movie?
 * Teneiro: Yes. It's a movie that can be enjoyed by anyone because it encompasses all those genres!
 * Edgeworth: I can't even begin to imagine what the plot of this movie would be like.
 * Teneiro: But you have to admit it piqued your curiousity, right? I heard the main strategy with this genre listing was to make people curious.
 * Edgeworth: ...............Well then, consider the mission a successful one.

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 * Edgeworth: Excuse me, but may I have a word with you?
 * Meele: (Sleeping)
 * Edgeworth: You there!
 * Meele: ...............*yawn* ....If you need something, please ask Ms. Rhoda over there, OK?
 * Edgeworth: What the....Hey! Wake up, you!
 * Teneiro: I'm terribly sorry that she's being so rude, Mr. Edgeworth.
 * Edgeworth: No need for you to apologize. I just find it hard to believe she's asleep on the job! (If I were her boss, I'd see to it that her salary was cut so low that it was in the red.)

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 * Edgeworth: What's a lifesaver doing here... ?
 * Passenger: I-I-I bought it a-at the in-f-f-flight shop just be-beyond the lounge! If-If something sh-should happen, having o-o-one will s-save your life!
 * Edgeworth: (I think this guy would've been better off not taking the plane to begin with.)

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 * Edgeworth: Ah, that's right. I was in the middle of recreating a chess game.
 * Teneiro: Just an observation, but aren't there too many red knights around that lone blue pawn?
 * Edgeworth: Nonsense. It simply shows that the blue pawn is no match for the red knight's might.

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 * Teneiro: That leads to the emergency escape hatch. You can't go there in mid-flight.
 * Edgeworth: What's the probability the criminal escaped through here?
 * Teneiro: A hundred percent.
 * Edgeworth: !
 * Teneiro: ...........Oh! Let me finish my thought. I'm 100% certain they didn't.
 * Edgeworth: (When I'm searching for an answer, only complete thoughts need apply.)

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: (These counter windows offer a glimpse of the sky, but these clouds, they tell me nothing.)
 * Teneiro: Mr. Edgeworth..? You... look like you're talking to the clouds.
 * Edgeworth: Is that so? Then tell me, what do you suppose I said to them?
 * Teneiro: I don't know, but it looked like a rather one-sided conversation.
 * Edgeworth: (The clouds... they tell me nothing.)

<hr width=50%>
 * Lablanc: Hmph! Don't number the birds before they are born!
 * Edgeworth: (Don't number the... What...? I have no idea what he's trying to say. "Don't count your chickens before they hatch" perhaps...?)

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: Hm? Looking from behind.... I think I've seen this man somewhere before...
 * Passenger(Sal Manella): OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM! In Soviet Russia, World Flags Lunchboxe eat j00! Urrrr....Nnnn....F... (>_<;) Found it! LAWL!! Ooh! I feel a wave of CR34T1V3 POW3RZ coming ON! It's over 9000!!! LULZ! For my next L33T movie, it's gonna be "The Steel Samurai: Warrior of Neo Olde Tokyo"... versus "The World Samurai: Champion of the Earth"! It's gonna r0x0rz so many b0x0rz!
 * Edgeworth: So the Steel Samurai is finally getting a movie...

<hr width=50%>
 * Gumshoe: Hey, Mr. Edgeworth, I think something just fell out of your pocket.
 * Edgeworth: Hm? What are you........gnrk!
 * Gumshoe: S-So did something fall out or not? I didn't, um, get a good look, sir!
 * Edgeworth: ...It doesn't concern you, so don't worry about it. (My Prosecutor's Badge of all things! Gumshoe must never know that I dropped it!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Captain: What did I ever do to deserve this... ? More than this job, all I truly love is my sweet Cammy!
 * Edgeworth: (Might I suggest you not to say that at this moment in front of Franziska... ?)

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: If I may have a word with you, Ms. Meele...
 * Meele: No, you may not have a word with me. I don't want to talk to any other man except for the captain right now.
 * Captain: Me, too, Cammy! I...I will never talk to another woma.... (gets whipped by Franziska) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!!
 * Edgeworth: (This definitely looks like a job for Franziska.)

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: Franziska, I'd like to ask you about the investigation...
 * Franziska: Miles Edgeworth. Can't you see that I'm in the middle of taking his statement? This man is the only captain in title. I'm going to teach him to do his job properly. (Whips the captain)
 * Captain: OWW!! OK, OK! From now on, I'll keep my focus and take my responsibilities seriously!
 * Gumshoe: He's really trembling there...
 * Edgeworth: If it makes him to take his job seriously, it's not such a bad thing, is it?
 * Gumshoe: Wh-Why are you looking at me like that, sir!?

<hr width=50%>
 * Gumshoe: M-Mr. Edgeworth! What is this super-expensive-looking feast of Jurassic proportions?
 * Edgeworth: It's just the food they serve in First Class.
 * Gumshoe: Wow! I am so jealous, sir! I wanna ride in First Class sometime!
 * Edgeworth: (Right... When pigs fly and I own my own private jet...)

<hr width=50%>
 * Gumshoe: Wow! You read law books even when you're flying sir!?
 * Edgeworth: Were you expecting anything less? Now come along, we must hurry to the crime scene!
 * Gumshoe: Hm? Hold on a sec... There's a different book stuck in here. "The Steel Samurai's Adv..."
 * Edgeworth: Detective Gumshoe! Am I going to have to charge you with invasion of privacy?!

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: Ms. Meele. Wake up!
 * Meele: *yawn* I'm awake, I'm awake........................zzz.
 * Franziska: Miles Edgeworth. I demand that you do something about this flight attendant this instant!
 * Edgeworth: (Why ask me to wake her when you can finally put that whip to an appropiate use?)

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: Ms. Meele! How many times do I have to repeat myself!? Wake up!
 * Meele: *yawn* I'm awake, I'm awake........................zzz.
 * Edgeworth: Ms. Meele. Wake up!
 * Franziska: (Finally snaps and whip at her but hits Gumshoe instead)
 * Gumshoe: Yeowch!! Wh-What did you whip me for, siiir!?
 * Meele: Ooh, what did I miss?
 * Edgeworth: A poor detective being on the receiving end of a lash in your stead.

Miles Edgeworth

 * (Today has gone beyond from the typical "not my day" into the realm of "walking nightmare"!)
 * (Badger, badger, badger, badger ... Just what does she see in these silly things?)
 * (Nooooo! Why HER!? Why HERE!? Why NOW!?)

Shi-Long Lang

 * Lang Zi says: Every pack has its own rules.
 * Lang Zi says: On truth's path, the word "probability" does not exist.

Kay Faraday

 * Oh, come on. It wasn't that hard to see that coming, even for a layman like me!
 * You know she reminds of? A cartoon character!
 * Badger GET!

Dialogue (5-3)

 * Kay: There's something even thieves should never steal. Do you know what that is?
 * Edgeworth: You really shouldn't steal anything, however, I'll bite. What shouldn't a thief steal?
 * Kay: A life. It's too heavy of a burden on your soul to get away with, ever.


 * Edgeworth: There is clearly...
 * Kay: ... A contradiction here!
 * Edgeworth: Please stop stealing my lines!

Miles Edgeworth

 * Kids... can sometimes be so cruel...
 * (This is what some people may say is the pot calling the kettle black]...)
 * Your Honor, I'm sorry but... I cannot allow you to not allow me to make an objection!
 * (Ack! My eyes have locked with my reflection's eyes in the barrel window! As a student of von Karma, I refuse to back down!).............I won.
 * Hmm, a drink vending machine................ Ack! (Now is not the time to be pondering what kind of drink I want!)

Franziska von Karma

 * Wh-What a completely foolish line of foolish thought from a thoroughly foolish fool!

The Judge

 * Not happy with committing just murder, he had to go and dirty the courthouse too!? GUILTY!
 * Egads, I've been overruled?!

Dialogue (5-4)

 * Judge: My eyes are as sharp as can be! Ready to see through lies to the truth! Although, recently, things do seem to become a bit fuzzier than they used to be...
 * Edgeworth: (Clearly his eyes aren't the only thing to go fuzzy!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: *OBJECTION!* That statement contradicts this evidence!
 * Judge : Really!?
 * Franziska : Your Honor, by my account... there is absolutely no contradiction here at all.
 * Judge: R-R-R-REALLY!? *nods* Well then, I guess we're still alright. Please continue the testimony.
 * Edgeworth: The two of them overruled me!?

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 * Edgeworth: *OBJECTION!*
 * Franziska : Overruled!!

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 * Edgeworth: (Egad...! What a cold stare he's giving me! However, as a disciple of von Karma, there is no option but to win!) ..................!
 * Bailiff: ................
 * Edgeworth: (Nngh...... He's good! The power of his cold stare rivals my own!)
 * Bailiff: ................zzz.
 * Edgeworth: ...........! (He's sleeping while standing up!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Franziska: Perhaps the Yatagarasu is in the business of stealing people's lives?
 * Yew: ........ You are not very funny, or witty, are you, little Miss von Karma?
 * Franziska: Grr.......!
 * (Franziska readies her whip)
 * Edgeworth: Franziska! Be careful about who you whip! Choose carefully, or we may be sued by... (Franziska whips Edgeworth) Nnghhoooh!
 * Franziska: There. I chose carefully, just like you wanted.
 * Yew: Phwwh... Mnnphwwwwwwh! Ahahahahaha!
 * Franziska: .......?
 * Yew: Ahah... Ahahahahahahahahaha! Th-That just now... was hilarious, little missy!
 * Franziska: Hmph. Of course it was.
 * Edgeworth: (.......What is wrong with these two women!? Why does my pain give them delight?)

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: So that window on the other side belongs to the men's restroom...
 * Franziska: ... I can't see it.
 * Edgeworth: At your height? I'm not surprised.
 * Franziska: ......!
 * (Franziska whips Edgeworth)
 * Edgeworth: Nnghoooooooh! (I guess short people have feelings too!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: I see you have no mercy for the elderly either, Franziska.
 * Franziska: Hmph. Don't talk back to me, unless you want to be whipped in the back.
 * Edgeworth: (With your height, you'd need a step-ladder or four to accomplish that!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: I'll be the judge for that, Detective Gumshoe.
 * Franziska: No, you won't! I'll be the judge of that!
 * Judge: No, no, no, no, no. I'M the judge around here! And I'LL be the judge of that!

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: How about we use this handkerchief to dry your little eyes?
 * Kay: *quiver* Uuuuggh...
 * (Kay goes up to Edgeworth and blows her nose in his cravat)
 * Kay: *Hooooonk!*
 * Edgeworth: Nnnnghooooooh! My cravat! Don't blow your nose on that!

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: I believe that's a hill of ants.
 * Franziska: Oooh... That detective...! He claims that not a single slipped by him and yet, there is a whole hill of them!
 * (Franziska whips Edgeworth)
 * Edgeworth: Gnaaack! Wh-What are you hitting ME for!?
 * Franziska: As a replacement for that pathetic detective!

<hr width=50%>
 * Gumshoe: Wh-Why is everyone so quiet all of a sudden?
 * Edgeworth: Because we are all in shock... and in awe of your utter stupidity.

Miles Edgeworth

 * Two cards. One of the black raven... and one of the white raven. A country torn in two. One to the west... and one to the east. When those which were split are made whole again... the truth will reveal itself.
 * (There is no limit to the law. Any limit that exists was set there by man. When a person goes beyond that limit, then the law, too, crosses into new territory! For what reason were laws invented? The answer to that is what I must now show!)
 * H-How could this happen two days in a roooooooooooow!?
 * Larry, you do realize that Santa Claus does not exist? ...Then you will also realize this. If Santa was real he'd be the biggest unlawful trespasser in history!
 * I want you to answer this question honestly, and depending on your answer, I may let you live...
 * OBJECTION! Go away!

Shi-Long Lang

 * Lang Zi says: ...HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWL!!
 * Quit screwin' around! I have no sympathy for someone who would pass the guilt on to a dead man!
 * Lang Zi says: The reason people judge people is because people are people.
 * Lang Zi says: Before aiming for the throat, chew the neck shield off first.
 * Quercus Alba! You BASTARD!
 * Lang Zi says: ....................Just go already!
 * Lang Zi says: A cub who disrespects others soon feels the disciplinary bite of an elder.

Other

 * Franziska: (to Larry Butz) Y-You have given a whole new meaning to the phrase "an astounding fool"...

Dialogue (5-5)

 * Lang: Alright... but if what she says is a waste of time... I'll place her under arrest faster than you can howl "Nooooooooooooooo!"
 * Edgeworth: Hmph... as you wish.

<hr width=50%>
 * Franziska: What is this plant supposed to be?
 * Edgeworth: Franziska, can't you see that it's supposed to be a likeness of Ambassador Alba?
 * Franziska: Miles Edgeworth! As a subordinate, you have a lot of nerve telling me what to think! I look forward to your next salary assessment next month.
 * Edgeworth: (You are deluding yourself if you think you have any control over that!)

<hr width=50%>
 * Edgeworth: Wait, hold on. Laaaaaaryyyy! It was you!? YOU'RE the one who wrote my Steel Samurai autograph!?
 * Larry: Hm? Oh, you didn't notice earlier? I even winked at you through my headpiece.
 * (Edgeworth realizes his "hero" was a loser and becomes embarrassed, remembering how he acted in front of him)
 * Franziska: What's going on? And why are you beet-red?
 * Edgeworth: Sorry, but could you not speak to me now?

<hr width=50%>
 * Larry: Yeah, and trust me, I know a real fan when I see one, because I'm the Steel Samurai!
 * Edgeworth: OBJECTION! I will never acknowledge you as the true Steel Samurai!

<hr width=50%>
 * Kay: Oh! One last thing before I go! Let's take a group photo, just the three of us!
 * Gumshoe: Yeah, a commemorative photo! Every big case has to end with one!
 * Edgeworth: .................No.
 * Kay: Hey! Why not!?
 * Gumshoe: Don't tell me you're camera shy, Mr. Edgeworth!
 * Edgeworth: O-Of course not, Detective!
 * Kay: Come on, Mr. Edgeworth! I'm taking the picture now!
 * (Edgeworth starts to walk away)
 * Kay: Hey! Come back here!
 * Gumshoe: Mr. Edgeworth! You can't run away from this, sir!
 * (Gumshoe grabs Edgeworth by the wrists)
 * Edgeworth: Ack! Hey! Detective Gumshoe! S-Stop that! I can't be seen doing... that!

= External links =