Ali G Indahouse

Ali G Indahouse is a 2002 comedy film about Sacha Baron Cohen's character Ali G and how he is recruited to be a minister for Staines, his home district in London. But then he learns the government is much more sinister. Cleaning Da Filth From Da PM's Hood (taglines)

Ali G

 * [repeated line] Keep it real!
 * [everyone's angry in UN] You know why they're so worked up in there? It's because they haven't had their tea yet! Come on!
 * Respect!

Prime Minister

 * Ali, come on, World War Three's breaking out, you need to do something!
 * What's he doing?
 * We're going to demolish Slough instead.

David Carlton

 * I think we should "keep it real."
 * [to Ali] You know, you are unbelievably stupid.
 * Now, I am going to shoot you!
 * (after Ali G and his gang break into Downing Street) This is a terrorist attack, shoot on sight!

Dialogue

 * Ali G: Jezzy, is you wearing green? I knew it - you is defected to the Iver Heath posse, innit? Come on, let's stab him!
 * Jezzy: No no, wait! My mum, yeah, she put my yellow top in the wash with my brother's blue football socks even though they ain't colourfast.
 * Ali G: Alright. But you can tell that slag, that in the ghetto, washing non-colourfast synthetics at 60 degrees could cost you your life!


 * David Carlton: Ali, have you ever considered becoming a member of Parliament?
 * Ali G: What me wanna do that for? It's full of pricks!
 * David Carlton: That's a little harsh. I'm an MP, am I a prick?
 * Ali G: (non-chalantly) Yes.


 * David Carlton: Tell me, Ali, do you have a job?
 * Ali G: Unfortunately, I is recently gone on the dole...
 * David Carlton: Really? When?
 * Ali G: Eight years and three months ago.
 * David Carlton: Says here you claim disability benefit, are you...?
 * Ali G: Yes, I is actually spasticated. I is got a terrible DJ-ing injury. I still ain't got full mobility in me main mixing finger.
 * (Starts to air-mix, winces, feigns pain and stops. Ali notices Carlton's sexy secretary watching, so he points at his crotch.)
 * Ali G: Everything down here's still working though... oh yes!


 * David Carlton: (Reading a speech Ali wrote) As of twelve o'clock all Rizlas will be free. To discourage their use, there will be a 25p-per-pound levy on panties. This will exclude thongs. Marijuana will be available on the NHS to treat chronic diseases such as itchy scrot. Furthermore, I am a bell-end...
 * Ali G: HAHAHAHAHA, HAHA!
 * David Carlton: Look, Prime Minister, I really can't be expected to...
 * Prime Minister: Go on now, David!
 * David Carlton: (reluctantly) I like to take it up the batty. It feel very nice, and is me favourite. I used to be a girl and wear knicks. Honest. Ask my mum!


 * (Ali gets up from his seat and slowly walks down the aisle as all ministers argue)
 * Minister: Will the member for Staines return to his seat!?!
 * (the Prime Minister notices)
 * Prime Minister: What's he doing?
 * David Carlton: Uh, I don't know, Prime Minister.
 * (Ali walks up to the shouting minister and calmly puts his finger on his lips to shush him)
 * Ali G: Look at you all! All you ever do all day long is cuss each other! R-E-S-T-E-C-P. Do you have any idea what that spells?
 * Minister: Restecp?
 * Ali G: (confused) Yes. Restecp.
 * Prime Minister: Restecp?
 * Ali G: How can you all not be restecp-ing each other, when you doesn't restecp each other in here?
 * Minister: The member for Staines is to be removed from the House!
 * Ali G: (hurriedly) Here's two words: "Keep it real!"
 * Minister: (thinking quick) That's three words...
 * Ali G: Don't be a spanner — "It" ain't a word — it's short for "innit", innit?


 * (During a government speech)
 * Ali G: You sucked off an ‘orse.
 * Candidate: I did not, “suck off a horse”. I have already been over this with the Party Chairman — I was out, hunting, with a friend, and I slipped, and fell onto the end of a horse's phallus, which, owing to it being the mating season, was... aroused.


 * (Ali G has just passed a new law allowing only "fit" refugees into Britain. Several women from Slovenia are passing through arrivals).
 * Guard: Fit. (women smile awkwardly) Fit. Fit. Fit. Wait... (he checks this woman's passport) Back to Slovenia.


 * (all of Ali G's gang and his rival gang are forming a human chain outside Downing Street)
 * Ali G: Switch on the engine, pass it on!
 * Gang member: Switch on the engine, pass it on!
 * (all members whisper down the line to each other til it comes to the last member)
 * Final member: Bitch on the pension, suck my dong!
 * Driver: (confused) What? Should I turn the engine on?


 * (Ali G is forcibly rejected from the House)
 * Minister: The member for Staines is hereby removed from the House!
 * Ali G: Is it because I is black?

Taglines

 * Cleaning Da Filth From Da PM's Hood
 * Vote Ali G
 * Tax Da Panty
 * Me Iz Introducin’ A White Paper
 * Blair Beware
 * Guess Who's In Da House?

Cast

 * Sacha Baron Cohen as Alistair Leslie Graham "Ali G" /Borat Sagdiyev
 * Michael Gambon - Prime Minister
 * Charles Dance - Deputy Prime Minister David Carlton
 * Kellie Knight - Julie
 * Martin Freeman - Richard "Ricky C" Cunningham
 * Rohan Mitra - Kate Hedges
 * Barbara New - Nan
 * Ray Panthaki - Hassan B
 * Emilio Rivera - Rico
 * Paul Clayton - Alan Swan Lake
 * Olegar Fedoro - Russian Minister
 * Tony Way - Not-Dangerous Dave
 * Daniele Lavender - Maid (as Daniella Lavender)
 * Capri Ashby - Nurse Nina
 * John Scott Martin - Mr. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson