Alien Loves Predator

Alien Loves Predator, or ALP, (2004-) is a webcomic written by Bernie Hou. It spoofs the Alien Vs. Predator franchise. Reversing the adversarial relationship depicted in Alien vs. Predator, ALP presents an Alien (named Abe) and a Predator (named Preston) as friends and roommates in current-day New York City. The last update appeared June 2nd, 2011. There is currently no mention of the the status of either Mr. Hou or the comic itself.

#1

 * Abe: "Staten Island"? Now they're just making up places.

#2

 * Preston: OK, Abe just went to hit on some girls on a blanket next to us. Look for them fleeing in disgust.

#7

 * Abe: You know what I'd do if I could cloak?
 * Preston: Sneak into girl's locker rooms.
 * Abe: Fuck yeah!
 * Preston: You do that now!

#8

 * Preston: What celebrity do I most resemble?
 * Abe: Jennifer Love Hewitt.

#9

 * Preston: What is my favorite word?
 * [Abe hits him]
 * Preston: Ow! What the fuck, you fuck! Fucking smacking me in the fucking head! Fuck that fucking hurt! Come here you fuck, I'm gonna fucking... oh, thanks.

#14

 * Abe: Why don't they have weed dating? I'd be all over that shit.
 * Preston: I've got something you should try. It's called "Carbon dating"

#16

 * Woman: Why aren't you wearing pants?
 * Abe: Phew! I was afraid you'd ask me something awkward.

#20

 * Man: Welcome to the open house! Help yourself to some crack!

#23

 * Preston: Who's your daddy?
 * Man: Ah, we meet again. Only this time, the pupil has become the master.
 * Preston: The correct answer was "The Yankees! The Yankees are my daddy!"

#24

 * Abe: Chicks dig dangerous guys!
 * Preston: You don't need any help convincing women you're unsafe.

#25

 * Abe: Will this hurt more or less than having a gerbil shoved up your ass?

#29

 * William Hung Tattoo: Let me eat his liver!

#31

 * Abe: Do they have George Bush the third's inauguration?
 * Preston: Dammit, don't even joke about that!


 * Preston: They have the tenth anniversary Paris Hilton sex tape "Paris falls for a space para-lesbian aboard the starship Tender-Thighs."
 * Abe: Hey, she used my script!

#36

 * Abe: Worship my penis!

#42

 * Preston: Your mom's on the phone!
 * Abe: No, your moms on the phone!

#64

 * Preston: Ok, is it daytime or nighttime right now?
 * Short Taxi Driver: Uh, you mean right now?
 * Preston: Goodbye.
 * Short Taxi Driver: No, wait! Wouldn't you rather know what colour my floor mats are? Or what a dachsund smells like?

#87

 * Preston: For the last time, you're not a ninja. I know you're there.


 * Preston:... You're just lying on the floor, Abe.
 * Abe: Shit!

#89

 * Woman: I hope tonight's Sex And The City is the one where Carrie obesseses over shoes! And men!
 * Man: I have white headphones. Please rob me.
 * Man in orange shirt: I am wearing a bright orange shirt. I am not from here.
 * Abe: I. Am. I-ron man. Da-nanananananana...

#90

 * Preston: Uh, I think you should download a different ringtone, Abe.
 * Abe: Why? What's wrong with-
 * Jesus: "Were!!" It's "What if god were one of us!!

#91

 * Abe: Smile!
 * Preston: Wait, did I cloak? I think I cloaked on that one.


 * Abe: Yeah, see, I just made my phone look like a ham sandwich!
 * Preston: That's incredibly useful.
 * Abe: Hey, a ham sandwich! I need to take a picture o' this!

#93

 * Preston: I can do 70 pushups with my penis!

#96

 * Preston: Thank y-- Hey! What the-- This is "Predator seeking Predator"!

What the hell is going on in this cover shot??

#115

 * Voice mail: I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that. Say 'clean' or 'soiled' underwear.
 * Preston: GRRAAARRGGHH
 * Voice mail: The rest of this menu will be presented in interpretative dance.

#121

 * Abe: Now I suppose you want some dating pointers.
 * Preston: This'll be good.
 * Abe: Girls like it when you use a fly swatter to give 'em a little swat on the cheek.


 * Abe:Oh! You didn't think I meant butt cheek did you? That...that'd be be inappropriate.

#121

 * Preston: Man, even Jesus is groaning at your mom jokes now.
 * Abe: To Jesus Okay, your mom-
 * Jesus:--Is a well documented virgin. And?
 * Jesus: Zing.

#121

 * Front page: JESUS: YOU'RE ALL BLOOD SUCKING CANNIBALS AND I HATE YOU