All I Wanna Do (1998 film)

All I Wanna Do (originally titled The Hairy Bird) is a 1998 film set in the 1960s at an all-girls school. When a group of friends learn their school is going to be combined with a nearby all-boys school, they concoct a plan to prevent the merger. Written and directed by Sarah Kernochan. Get Tough. Get Even. And Play Dirty. taglines

Odie Sinclair

 * They think I'll be safe surrounded by high walls and lesbians. This is the end of the world. One look tells you, this place eats the hairy bird.
 * Up your ziggy with a wa-wa brush.

Verena Von Stefan

 * Right. Just imagine, we'll have to wash our hair every night. We'll have to sleep on rollers til our scalps bleed. Then we'll have to get up at six every morning for the comb out. Your lungs will be lined with hairspray. Then you need all this equipment to push up the tits and blitz the zits and spray the pits! Then you stagger into class and you look perfect but you're exhausted, you're too tired to even think but that's okay the teachers they won't call on you anyway, also you don't want to be smarter than the boys. They don't like that, so to wake yourself up you drink some coffee at lunch but don't eat the food. You'll be on a permanent diet!
 * No more little white gloves.
 * [explaining the purpose of the D.A.R.] In the D.A.R., we all share our most secret dreams of what we want to be. You see, most of the girls here at Miss Godard's, they've got all the opportunities to become something: a good upbringing, a great education, they're loaded. But in ten years they'll all be married with three kids and two cars and a Colonial and a collie—they're finished. That's why it's called a finishing school. But we—the D.A.R.—have other plans for ourselves.

Dialogue

 * [Verena arrives late to class]
 * Mr. Dewey: Verena, why are you so late? You've missed an entire period.
 * Verena Von Stefan: [gasps] You mean I'm pregnant?


 * [The members of the D.A.R. are arguing about their school’s merger with St. Ambrose]
 * Tweety: I'm not going to change the way I am just 'cause boys are around.
 * Verena: Oh come off it, Tweety. I've seen you at school dances, it's like The Three Faces of Eve. You turn into this simpering fawning wretch, and the whole next week we have to put up with your suicide attempts because your date didn't like you!
 * Tweety: Verena!
 * Momo: [to Verena] Now you've done it. That was really uncalled for, *Vagina*.
 * Tinka: Look, Von Stefan, I know you like this place the way it is, but wake up, it's not real life. Real life is boy-girl-boy-girl.
 * Verena: No! Real life is boy *on top* of girl!
 * Momo: Would you two stop it?
 * Verena: [to Tinka] You should know that.
 * [Tinka scoffs]
 * Odie: Look, it looks like this is gonna happen whether we like it or not so we're just gonna have to adjust.
 * Tinka: Yes, we're gonna have to adjust.
 * Verena: Where would we be today if President Kennedy had said “Oh well, we'll just have to adjust to living in the shadow of nuclear warheads on Cuba?”
 * Momo: There ya go.
 * Odie: They're just boys, Verena, not communists.
 * Verena: I'm not gonna live in the shadow of the Hairy Bird!
 * Tinka: Well that's your prob! You're afraid of boys!
 * Verena: You'd be afraid of boys, too, except you've got nothing left to lose, Miss Tinka!
 * Momo: Order! Order!
 * Tinka: Prude!
 * Verena: Tramp!
 * Tweety: Truce! Quiet. Come on, have some ravioli.


 * Tinka: It's what we've always wanted, boys at Miss Godard’s.
 * Verena: Oh yeah you'd just go out and greet them with open legs.
 * Odie: Hey, now they're going to have to call it Ms. Go-nads.


 * Abby: [sobbing] They all...hate me. Sometimes I just want to rip off my stars and be just like everyone else.
 * Mrs. Sawyer: Abby Sawyer, when you are at the top, there are always jealous people at the bottom who try to bring you down. Well, you just stick out your chin and say "POO."


 * Odie: I loathe and deplore this place.
 * Verena: I don't see how you can say that when you're from Detroit.


 * Miss McVane: More tea?
 * Verena: No, thank you.
 * Miss McVane: Cigarette?
 * Verena: Sure.
 * Miss McVane: Catch.


 * Tweety: Verena's gone, St. Ambrose is taking over, and next year I'm going to have to face Todd Winslow every day at breakfast. I WANT TO RETCH AND DIE.
 * Momo: They're going to pull down our grades.
 * Tinka: They're going to pull down more than that.


 * [Odie is appearing before the school’s self-governing committee for violating a rule]
 * Abby: Odette Sinclair, the Committee has decided not to recommend expulsion and to give you another chance. However, you are grounded for the remainder of the school year.
 * Odie: I would like to rebut.
 * Susie: You're not allowed a rebuttal.
 * Odie: It's a filibuster. I have the floor.
 * Abby: We don't allow that, either.
 * Odie: What is this, a junta?

Taglines

 * Get ready for a radical education.
 * Girls on Top!
 * Someone is trying to ruin their favorite place in the world, and these friends aren't going to take it lying down. So they're going on...
 * Every girl has a secret desire...

Cast

 * Kirsten Dunst – Verena von Stefan
 * Gaby Hoffmann – Odette “Odie” Sinclair
 * Lynn Redgrave – Miss McVane
 * Heather Matarazzo – Theresa "Tweety" Goldberg
 * Merritt Wever – Maureen "Momo" Haines
 * Rachael Leigh Cook – Abigail "Abby" Sawyer
 * Tom Guiry – Bradley "Frosty" Frost
 * Vincent Kartheiser – Snake
 * Monica Keena – Tinka Parker
 * Matthew Lawrence – Dennis
 * Rosemary Dunsmore – Page Sawyer
 * Caterina Scorsone – Susie
 * Robin Dunne – Todd Winslow
 * Hayden Christensen – Tinka's date
 * Shawn Ashmore – St. Ambrose photographer