Alvin and the Chipmunks (film)

Alvin and the Chipmunks is a 2007 film American jukebox musical comedy film about a struggling songwriter who finds success when he comes across a trio of singin' chipmunks: mischievous leader Alvin, brainy Simon, and chubby, impressionable Theodore. The film was based on the characters of the same name created by Ross Bagdasarian, Sr..
 * Directed by Tim Hill. Written by Jon Vitti, Will McRobb, and Chris Viscardi.

Here comes trouble.taglines

David Seville

 * (repeated line) ALVIN!
 * My life is being sabotaged by talking chipmunks!

Ian Hawke

 * Welcome to Jett Records.
 * Hey, if you guys behave, maybe I'll let you call me "Uncle Ian" again. Deal?
 * ¡Madre de Dios! (Translation: Mother of God.) Freak No!!!!

Dialogue

 * Alvin: That's it! I can't take this anymore! I can't! I give up! I'm sick of struggling for survival, competing with gophers and earthworms and that loser sparrow who always takes my nuts! And I'm especially sick of this stupid, stupid, tree!
 * [buzzing noise]
 * Simon: Whoa! What's happening?!
 * Theodore: Guys! I think he made it angry!
 * [the tree falls down with the screaming chipmunks in it]


 * Ian: Let's talk about your song, Dave.
 * Dave: Well, as crazy as it sounds, the original inspiration came to me--
 * Ian: The song sucks, Dave!
 * Dave: What?!
 * Ian: Your song? It's awful. I hate it. Yeah, I mean, who's gonna sing it? Justin? Fergie? Not a chance. I need something new, I need something fresh!
 * Dave: That is new!
 * Ian: The next big thing. Dave, we go way back, all right? And we've both come a long way since college. You, not so much. I wanted to like that song, but you heard it. Not that good. If I wasn't your friend, I'd say "Dave, you go right back out of this office and you keep writing music. You'll get there someday." But I am your friend, so I am going to tell you that there is no sense in writing songs that no one is ever, ever going to sing.
 * Dave: Ever?


 * Robert the Robot: I am Robert the Robot.
 * Theodore: Help! Crazy robot. Help! It's after me! It's after me.
 * Dave: Hey. Hey. Be careful with that.
 * Theodore: Sorry.
 * Dave: It's a collectible. I got it for Christmas last year.




 * Theodore: Where are we?
 * Alvin: Well, I think they remodeled our forest. I like it.  Stylish, yet functional--
 * Theodore: Uh, but where did the mountains go?
 * Simon: Give me a break. We're in a building, Theodore.


 * [Dave puts basket with muffins and chipmunks inside in trash]
 * Alvin: Gross! Is this his house?
 * Simon: No. It's his garbage can.
 * Alvin: Oh.


 * Dave: I must be hearing things. [wakes and sees the Chipmunks staring at him] Whoa, this is trippy.
 * Theodore: Sir, are-are you all right?
 * Dave: [exclaims] Get back! Squirrels can't talk!
 * Alvin: Whoa, wap-ap-ap-oh. Watch it, genius. We are Chipmunks. Chipmunks!
 * Dave: Chipmunks can't talk either! [turns on lights]
 * Simon: Well, our lips are moving and words are coming out.
 * Dave: This isn't happening. [closes his eyes, talking to himself] I am not talking to chipmunks. I am not talking to chipmunks.
 * Alvin: So, how is that working for you, Dave?
 * Dave: Uh, h-how do you know my name?
 * Alvin: I'll take that one. We read your mail. By accident.
 * Simon: You really oughta pay that utility bill, Dave. You ever hear of a credit rating?


 * Simon: We're getting off on the wrong foot. Allow us to introduce ourselves. Hello. I'm Simon. The smart one. He is Alvin.
 * Alvin: The awesomest one.
 * Theodore: And I'm Theodore.
 * Dave: Oh, nice to meet you. Now get out of my house!
 * Theodore: But.... we talk.
 * Dave: Which only makes me want you out of my house that much more. It's creepy. Unnatural. Somewhat evil.
 * Alvin: I kinda liked him better when he was unconscious.
 * Dave: Gotcha! (puts a bowl over them)
 * Alvin: Hey!
 * Dave: [laughs]


 * Dave: Are you guys always like this?
 * Simon: We're kids, Dave.
 * Dave: Well, where are your parents?
 * Simon: When you're a chipmunk, your parents take care of you for a week, then they take off.
 * Alvin: Our parents were hippies. They left early to join a commune.


 * Dave: What was that?!
 * Simon: Uh, nothing, just... a little stage fright? [whimpers]
 * Theodore: I thought my heart was gonna explode!
 * Alvin: We're not performing monkeys, Dave! Why do we have to sing for that guy, anyway?
 * Dave: Well, how's this? Pretend I need the money, and I hate my job, and you're staying at my place, so you owe me.
 * Theodore: We're sorry, Dave.
 * Dave: Yeah, that helps. [sighs] Never mind, I'm late for work.
 * Theodore: Ooh-ooh-ooh, Can we go with you?
 * Dave: What? So that you can mess that up, too? Uh-uh. You're going home.
 * Alvin: Can I stand in your lap and steer?
 * Theodore: Ooh-ooh-ooh, can we at least beep the horn? Never mind.


 * Dave: [phone rings] Hi, Mom.
 * Simon: [on phone to Dave] A little situation here, Dave. Theodore vacuumed up Alvin.
 * Theodore: [calls down vacuum tube] Alvin!
 * Alvin: [shouts from inside vacuum] Dave! Help!
 * Dave: [on phone to Simon] What?!
 * Simon: [on phone to Dave] Well, at least it wasn't the garbage disposal. [giggles nervously]
 * Theodore: [calls down vacuum tube] Just stay calm! [gets sucked into vacuum; shrieks]
 * Simon: [on phone to Dave] And there goes Theodore.
 * Dave: [on phone to Simon] Look, I can’t do this right now, okay?
 * Simon: [on phone to Dave] I absolutely understand, but, uh, sorry, Dave, quick question. [sees the sink on with water pouring down] How do you feel about an indoor pool?
 * Dave: [on phone to Simon angrily] Look, if you flood my house, you’re dead. Out on the street, Capisce?


 * [As the Chipmunks watch an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants on the TV]
 * Eugene H. Krabs: [on TV] SpongeBob, you're 15 minutes late!
 * SpongeBob SquarePants: [on TV] Sorry, Mr. Krabs. I was out all night looking for Gary. You see, he ran away, and well...
 * Dave: [enters and shows them his vandalized presentation boards; annoyed] Guys, what's this about?
 * Simon: Obviously, Theodore's butt.
 * Theodore: We told you we colored.
 * Dave: On my presentation boards? You got me fired!
 * Theodore: We didn't know. [Dave angrily turns off the TV] We're sorry, Dave.
 * Dave: Oh, you're sorry? That's fantastic. Sorry doesn't get my job back, now does it, Theodore? [notices his clothing lying down on the kitchen floor] Why are my clothes all over the place?
 * Simon: Oh. We used them to mop up the water. Good idea, right?
 * Dave: [notices a weird pellet in front of Theodore] Oh, my God, Theodore, did you just...?
 * Theodore: Um, um....
 * Simon: It's a raisin, Dave.
 * Dave: Prove it.
 * Simon: [surprised; puts it in mouth] Mm-hmm.
 * Dave: Okay, you got me. Look, I wanna talk to all of you guys. Where's Alvin? [Simon spits raisin out] Alvin?
 * Simon [Turns to Theodore] You owe me big time!
 * Dave: Alvin?!
 * Alvin: [takes a shower in dishwasher; sings] Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me.... [Dave confusedly opens the dishwasher, Alvin screams] There's this new thing! It's called "knocking"!
 * Dave: Get out!
 * Alvin: Uh, I'm waiting for the rinse cycle!
 * Dave: Out! [angrily pulls Alvin out of the dishwasher]
 * Alvin: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm taking a shower, here!
 * Dave: You know, if I made a list of my worst days ever, guess what?! Today would be at the top of the list!
 * Alvin: And it's still early!
 * Dave: Clam it, sudsy! [Sighs] Okay. Guys, let me just put it to you like this, okay? I have no job, no career, my house is always a mess, thank you very much...
 * Claire: Hi, Dave, it's Claire Wilson calling. And why did I just say my last name? That was weird. I guess I'm just a little nervous about coming over for dinner.
 * Dave: Dinner!
 * Claire: So, yeah, I'm gonna hang up now. I'll be there at 7. Okay, bye.
 * Dave: That's half an hour!
 * Theodore: Who's Claire?
 * Simon: Claire is Dave's mate, ooh-la-la.
 * Dave: She is not my mate. She's my ex-mate. Okay, this is great.
 * Simon: Dave. Dave, relax. You just go get the food. We'll take care of the rest, all right?
 * Dave: No, why am I having a hard time believing you?
 * Alvin: That hurts, Dave. That really hurts.
 * Simon: Yeah, we're all in this together, Dave.
 * Theodore: Like a family.
 * Dave: No, not like a family.
 * Alvin: Tick-tock, Dave. Better bust a move.
 * Dave: Right.


 * Theodore: Has anyone tried the chocolate meatballs?
 * Simon: I'll probably go into insulin shock, but it's worth it.
 * Alvin: Oh, sweet, sweet, sweet molasses me.
 * Ian: Hey, Alvster. Love the song, bro. Up top.
 * Alvin: What's up, player?
 * Ian: So I see you're enjoying my little spread that I've put out for you guys. What am I talking about? You probably eat like this all the time.
 * Alvin: Well, Dave says that he doesn't wanna spoil us.
 * Ian: Dude, you're a rock star. You're supposed to be spoiled. I mean, you should be riding in limousines and private planes, and you should be going to parties like this every night.
 * Alvin: Really? 'Cause Dave says we need our sleep.
 * Ian: Look, Alvin, this is hard to say but, I mean, I gotta be upfront about it. Dave's holding you back. You know, I could be making you 20 large a day.
 * Alvin: Is that a lot?
 * Ian: Yes. Another thing... I'm not gonna tell you. Okay, I will tell you. Look, behind your backs, Dave calls you the rats.
 * Alvin: Rats?
 * Ian: Yeah, whatever, right? I know. Well, don't let it bother you. I mean, me? I consider you boys family. And if there's anything you need, anything at all, give your Uncle Ian a call, all right?
 * Alvin: Oh, right.
 * Ian: Ciao.


 * Alvin: What?
 * Dave: Well, in case you didn't notice, I don't have a job anymore. (His song plays over the loudspeaker at the store) My song?
 * Alvin: All right.
 * Simon and Theodore: Yeah.


 * Dave: Hey, guys, I have an idea for a new song.
 * Simon: Whoa! Hey, Dave.
 * Dave: What's going on in here? I thought I told you guys to clean up.
 * Simon: We are.
 * Dave: Um, who's that?
 * Simon: Uncle Ian hired us a housekeeper. She's also a masseuse. [purrs]
 * Alvin: Come on, move over, roadhog. Drive it or park it, pal. Get in the slow lane.
 * Dave: Where did you get that game?
 * Alvin: Uh, Uncle Ian. Move it or lose it! Get some training wheels, buddy!
 * Dave: Okay, you know what?! That's it! That's enough! (Turns off tv)
 * Alvin: What are you doing?! I was about to beat my high score!
 * Dave: Too bad. Where's Theodore? (has food in his mouth, chocolate candy) Spit it out.
 * Theodore: Mm-mmm.
 * Dave: Spit it *out.*
 * Theodore: No!
 * Dave: [looks at card included in gift basket] "Jett Records." Okay, that's it. Meeting. Now. Everyone on the couch. (To the housekeeper) Could you give us a minute? Guys, look, it's hard. I know. 3 months ago, you were hanging out in a tree somewhere and now you're--
 * Alvin: [low voice] MAJOR ROCK STARS.
 * Dave: Okay, whatever. My point is, just because you're--
 * Alvin: [low voice] MAJOR ROCK STARS.
 * Dave: Doesn't mean you can have or do whatever you want!
 * Simon: Well, Uncle Ian says we should always be happy.
 * Dave: Okay, you know what? He's not your uncle!
 * Alvin: He also, David, said that we should be making $20 a day.
 * Dave: Well, guess what? You're making way more than that. And because I care, I'm putting it all away for you. Just like storing nuts for the winter.
 * Alvin: Oh, winter's for losers.
 * Simon: Yeah, and shouldn't we have a say in how to build our investment portfolio?
 * Dave: Where is all this coming from? You guys are just kids.
 * Alvin: Kids, Dave, or rats?
 * Dave: What?!
 * Theodore: Well, Uncle Ian says we're like his family.
 * Dave: [enraged] Oh, yeah?! Well, if you love Uncle Ian so much and you don't think I'm watching out for you, why don't you go live with Uncle Ian?!


 * Alvin: [trying to uncork a bottle] Stupid... cork... doesn't... [the cork comes loose and goes flying] Whoa! [it breaks a glass cabinet]
 * Claire: Oh, no!
 * Alvin: Yikes! [giggles nervously] Oops.
 * Dave: [Claire looks at him] Not gonna say it.
 * Alvin: Uh-oh!
 * Simon: Good grief.
 * [champagne pours all over the floor]
 * Claire: Are you still not gonna say it?
 * Dave: Nope. [the champagne touches an outlet which spews sparks and smoke, startling him and Claire and causing a blackout in the house] ...I'm gonna say it, ALVIN!
 * Alvin: OK!

Taglines

 * Here comes trouble.


 * They're back & bigger than ever. Christmas


 * The original entourage.


 * The Last Man Home.......Is Not Alone.


 * Things are going to get messy.


 * Watch out, cause here they come


 * Get your squeak on!

Cast

 * Jason Lee — David Seville
 * David Cross — Ian Hawke
 * Cameron Richardson — Claire Wilson
 * Jane Lynch — Gail
 * Justin Long — Voice of Alvin
 * Matthew Gray Gubler — Voice of Simon
 * Jesse McCartney — Voice of Theodore