Arthur (TV series)

Arthur (1996-2022) is a PBS animated series about a young third-grade aardvark named Arthur Read and his family and friends who deal with the various troubles of childhood.

Arthur's Eyes [1.1a]

 * (zooms into Arthur's house, it is the middle of the night, A door opens, and a light shines on him)
 * Arthur Read: (gasp)
 * Dora Winifred Read (whispering): Come with me.
 * Arthur: Why?
 * D.W.: (covers Arthur's mouth) Shh. (whispering): It's about our lost brother!
 * Arthur: (whispering): We don't have a brother.
 * D.W.: (whispering): They're keeping him a secret! But I've seen him!
 * Arthur (to the audience): (whispering): Uh-oh! (Normally): Great.
 * ''Arthur and D.W. come downstairs. D.W.'s light pans over to a red book on a small table
 * D.W.: (whispering): Don't turn on- (Arthur turns light on) (quietly): -the light...
 * Arthur turns off light and walks slowly over towards D.W.; D.W. opens the photo album. The look at pictures of a younger Arthur.
 * D.W.: See? I wonder where he went. Mom and dad sold him or something.
 * Arthur: [gets in a heated argument with D.W.] D.W., that's me!
 * D.W.: Is not!
 * Arthur: Is too!
 * '''D.W.: But you wear glasses!
 * Arthur: That's before I wore glasses.
 * D.W.: You were born with glasses!
 * Arthur: You were only 2 years old then, so you probably don't remember. We're On In 3 2 1 GO!?


 * The rest of the episode takes place about year earlier. Arthur has no glasses and his friends are in Mr. Marco's class
 * Mr. Marco: This quiz is to be completed in class. No talking! [writes math problems on the blackboard.]
 * Arthur: That's a seven, right?
 * Francine Frensky: No, it's a two!
 * Arthur: That's a one?
 * Francine: No, it's a seven.
 * Arthur: That's a seven.
 * Francine: No Arthur, it's a nine, stop bothering me!
 * Mr. Marco: (clears throat) Ahem! Mmm! (handing out test results) These are your test results. Anybody with four or more mistakes should see me after class for extra homework.
 * Francine: [has all questions right, but Arthur has them all wrong] I guess math's not your best subject.
 * Arthur: I have a headache!
 * Buster Baxter: Yeah, sometimes Francine gives me a headache too.
 * Francine: (Offended, putting her head up with her eyes closed) Hmph!


 * Scene switches to the gymnasium with Arthur and his friends are playing basketball. The ball goes right to Arthur, but he misses it so a yellow, medium-skinned monkey gets the ball and passes to Francine
 * Arthur: Huh?
 * Francine's Team: Shoot! (shoots and scores)
 * Buster: [has the ball on a breakaway and passes to Arthur] Arthur!
 * Arthur: Got it! No I don't. (misses again, a peach cat gets the ball, passes to Francine)
 * Binky (in background): Go, go, go, go! (Francine shoots it backwards with one hand and makes it. A rat blows whistle. Arthur has a free shot, but he is double-sighted)
 * Buster: Come on Arthur, you can do it! (Arthur shoots and it goes over the net and into the lockers) Aw, Arthur!
 * Francine: I guess basketball is just not your sport.


 * A nurse is doing an eye test at school. The kids come in one after the other, cover one eye and read the test chart with the other.
 * Prunella Deegan: E, G, B, D!
 * Binky Barnes: E, G, B, D.
 * Sue Ellen Armstrong: E, G, B, D.
 * Arthur: (clears throat) M, P, 7, R, P, R. Oh, it's not a seven! Eight? Huh?
 * '''Francine: (Sing-song voice) Arthur's in trouble!
 * Muffy Crosswire: How do you get in trouble with the nurse?
 * (Everybody laughs)
 * Buster: What happened?
 * Arthur: I have to go to the eye doctor.


 * Arthur has his eyes examined with a phoropter while his parents wait.
 * Dr. Iris: What can you see?
 * Arthur: It's just blurry, Dr. Iris.
 * Dr. Iris: (puts in another lens.) Now what do you see?
 * Arthur: A giant worm!
 * Dave: Huh?
 * Jane Read: Where?
 * (A smiling caterpillar is on the lens, Dr. Iris takes the lens.)
 * Dr. Iris: Hm. (puts the small caterpillar on a potted plant and puts the lens back in the phoropter.) That better?
 * Arthur: Yeah, I can read it all!
 * Dr. Iris: You just need glasses, Arthur. That's why you've been getting those headaches.
 * Arthur looks at a shelf with various glasses.
 * Dr. Iris: All you have to do is choose the frames you like.
 * Arthur: [puts on aviator glasses] Cool! [briefly imagines himself standing in front of a jetfighter, tries on rectangular glasses] Hm. Woo. (He tilts his head and his pupils roll along the rim of the glasses.)
 * Jane: Those are nice.
 * Arthur: Maybe I'll try something else. [puts on futuristic glasses. He imagines he is standing on Mars. Behind him an alien wearing the same kind of glasses looks out of a UFO. They wave at each other, takes off the glasses and spots some round brown glasses.] Hey!
 * Dr. Iris: [reaches down for the glasses and puts them on Arthur] There!
 * Jane: Those look wonderful, Arthur!
 * David: Very distinguished.
 * Arthur: Really?


 * (Arthur and his parents drive home from the eye doctor.)
 * Arthur (with better vision): Look at that airplane way up there! Look at all the leaves on the trees! Hey mom, you have gray hairs on your head! Dad, have you always had those bags under your eyes?


 * The next day at school, Arthur is walking in the halls
 * Francine: Whoa! You look weird!
 * Binky: You look different! You get a new haircut?
 * Arthur: [enraged and yells at Binky] No!!
 * School bell rings. Arthur walks into the classroom.
 * Francine: Hey Buster, look! (Pointing at Arthur) Arthur's a four eyes! (Sing-song voice) Arthur's a four eyes! Arthur's a four eyes! Arthur's a four eyes!
 * [Everybody laughs except Buster and Arthur]
 * Buster: [angrily scolds Francine] Some people need glasses to see, Francine. Big deal!


 * (In the school cafeteria Buster holds two drinking glasses in front of his eyes.)
 * Buster: Hey, look you guys, I'm Arthur!
 * (Everybody laughs)
 * Arthur: Huh?
 * Buster: (ears droop) Oh.
 * Arthur gets pissed and furiously walks out of the cafeteria and past Binky
 * Binky: I know, that's a new shirt!
 * Arthur: Afraid not!


 * Arthur is walking home covering his face with a coat and arrives at his house, his father is raking leaves with D.W. sitting in them.
 * D.W.: (starts crying)
 * David Read: Huh? Arthur?
 * Arthur: Don't talk to me! [angrily slams the door]


 * Arthur: [looks at a mirror in his room, takes off his glasses and his reflection becomes blurred.] Well it's better than being called four eyes! If I lose them, nobody can make me wear them! [angrily puts glasses into their case] I won't even know where they land! [puts glasses into a slingshot, and shoots] Good riddance!
 * The case with the glasses hits an electric wire, bounces off and land in Arthur's bed room next to Stanley, his teddy bear
 * Arthur: [goes up to his room, only to find the glasses on his bed, gasps; groans in frustration] Uggghhh! [furiously takes the glasses and angrily throws them out the window, they land in Mr. Read's pile of leaves.]
 * David: Huh?
 * Arthur: [comes into the kitchen looking pleased. The he sees the case with the glasses on the table, gasps]


 * Arthur: [has put his glasses on D.W.’s toy hammering bench and guides her hand with the hammer] That's it, D.W.!
 * D.W.: (giggling, hits with the hammer, but misses the glasses)
 * Jane: What are you doing with your glasses?
 * Arthur: D.W. took them, mom! I was just getting them back!
 * Jane: Be careful with those. You wouldn’t want them to get broken.
 * Arthur: No, mom.
 * (D.W. hits Arthur's fingers with the hammer)
 * Arthur: Ouch!! (chuckles nervously)


 * Arthur: [walks to school the next day with his glasses on, goes behind a tree and comes out with no glasses, chuckles, arrives at school. He and Buster pass Mr. Marco]
 * Mr. Marco: Arthur, where are your glasses?
 * Arthur: I lost them. At home I think. It's harder than ever to see without my glasses.
 * Buster: Why don't you just wear 'em?
 * Arthur: I don't need them. I know this school at the back of my own hand. Boy's room is the third door from this corner, right?
 * Buster: Yeah.
 * Arthur: See, why do I need em?
 * Buster: See ya in class! [walks on]
 * Arthur passes Mr. Marco who comes out of a door with Mr. Haney
 * Mr. Haney: That's why I lock the exams, and...
 * Mr. Marco: Oh, well, the examination was better than I thought it would be. Still, in all, I think that we’re going to have to go over...
 * Arthur: [counts the doors but misses the one the teachers came out of] First door. Second. Third. [walks into girl's room by mistake and sees Francine and Muffy talking to each other]
 * Francine: I said, if I'm not batting cleanup, I'm not playing.
 * Arthur: Francine?!
 * Francine and Muffy: Aah!
 * Arthur, Muffy, and Francine: What are you doing in here?!
 * Francine: This is the girls' room! Get outta here!
 * Arthur: Hm?
 * The door hits Arthur in the back as Sue Ellen, Jenna and Maria come in. The door is seen from the outside.
 * Girls: Augh! It's a boy! Get him out!
 * (Everybody hears the screaming and wonder what it is.)
 * Arthur: Get me out of here!!
 * (The girls run out. Arthur slowly follows and finds everybody staring at him.)
 * Arthur: Augh! (he drops his lunch box) Oh no....


 * Arthur: [turns on the TV at home] I'm just gonna have to get used to being a four-eyed weirdo...
 * ( Bionic Bunny music plays)
 * Bionic Bunny (on TV): I'm Wilbur Rabbit. And this is the story of how we make the Bionic Bunny show! (He is holding up a car in the studio. He lets go and the car stays in place.) Em, what's my next line? (filmmaker puts glasses on his eyes similar to Arthur's so he can read the script)
 * Arthur: Wilbur Rabbit wears glasses just like mine? Alright!


 * Francine: [meets Arthur in the hallway] Old four-eyes is back!
 * Arthur: Hi Francine!
 * Francine: Huh?
 * Binky: I know! You're wearing glasses!
 * Arthur: Yeah, I am!
 * Binky: Four-eyes (laughs)
 * Arthur: Binky? Did you know Wilbur Rabbit wears glasses?
 * Binky: Yeah I saw that on TV last night.
 * '''Francine: I didn't see that!
 * Binky: Yeah wasn't it great how they make him fly?
 * In the classroom Mr. Marco is writing math problems on the blackboard
 * Francine: Don't ask me to read the problems to you! I need to concentrate.
 * Arthur: Okay.
 * The kids are playing basketball in the gymnasium.
 * Francine: Look out everybody, Arthur's got the ball.
 * (Arthur shoots and makes it, everyone cheers)
 * In the classroom Mr. Marco hands back quizzes.
 * Mr. Marco: Very good Arthur! All correct!
 * Francine: Arthur! How would you like to play on my basketball team today? [shows Arthur her fake plastic glasses] Do you like them?
 * Arthur: There's no glass.
 * Francine: They're my movie star glasses. Don't they make me look beautiful? Wilbur Rabbit wears glasses, you know.
 * Arthur: And his are just like mine!


 * Arthur: And since then, I always wore glasses. Does that solve your mystery?
 * D.W.: I guess... but it's not as good as having a lost brother. [sees a picture of a much younger Jane and David dancing to disco.] Hey look! Who's this weird guy with mom?
 * Arthur: That's dad.
 * D.W.: Dad doesn't have a beard, Arthur. Maybe mom's divorced! I'm waking her up right now, and demand an explanation!
 * Arthur: D.W.! D.W.! D.W.! [runs after her.]

Arthur and the Real Mr. Ratburn (a.k.a. Arthur's Teacher Trouble) [1.2a]

 * All: (Not Again?)
 * Arthur: Maybe, you read the list is wrong, Francine. Let me look. You're right. It's Ratburn!
 * ''[On the baseball field and soccer field]

Arthur's Spelling Trouble [1.2b]

 * Francine (as Deborah Franklin): Benjamin, do you think you should do this? (Oops!)
 * Arthur (as Benjamin): I have to. (Lightning zaps the kite) Ouch! Ouch! I did it! Ouch! Ouch!! Ouch!!! Heyyy! Ouch!?


 * Arthur: (rapping) A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K! A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K! A-A-R-D... (D.W. comes up as she sees Arthur jamming to the "A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K" rap.)
 * D.W.: V-A-R-K!
 * Arthur: Don't botherin' me, DW! I'm studying!


 * Francine: Pleasant - P-L-E-A-S-E-N-T.
 * Mr. Ratburn: No, I'm sorry. (Try again, Francine?)

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 * Prunella: Of course. Preparation. P-R-E-P... (pauses out) ...E...R-A-T-I-O-N - preparation.

D.W. All Wet [1.3a]

 * Arthur: OCTOPUS!!!
 * D.W.: Octopus! Octopus! Octopus!!!
 * Mrs. Read: What the...?!
 * Mr. Read: And?!
 * Arthur: And I'm really sorry. It was just a joke!
 * Mrs. Read: Not a very funny one. Now, go to your room!
 * D.W.: And don't come out until I say so!
 * Mrs. Read: Feel better?
 * D.W.: I hope an octopus eats him!

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 * D.W.: I'm not going!
 * Everyone: What? Why?
 * D.W.: I don't want to go in the water!
 * Arthur: You're not still scared of octopuses, are you? We're going to the lake, D.W. Octopuses live in oceans, not lakes.
 * D.W.: I'm not going, and that's that!

D.W.'s Imaginary Friend [1.4a]

 * Francine: Pretend friend. What babies! Arthur's a baby!

Arthur's Pet Business [1.5a]

 * [Arthur cuts a paper of dogs in half with scissors as his sister walks into his room]
 * D.W.: [sings] Arthur wants a dog. Arthur wants a dog.
 * Arthur: Don't say anything, D.W.! I'm waiting for just the right moment to ask Mom and Dad.
 * D.W.: You can trust me, Arthur.

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 * Mr. Read: Arthur...
 * Arthur: Don't worry, Dad. I'll work out all their schedules, somehow.
 * D.W.: AAH!!! HELP!!!
 * Mr. Read: D.W.?!
 * Arthur: Uh-oh. Oh, no, the ant farm! No, Kate, don't! Oh, no! Hey, wait! Hey! Where are you going?
 * Mrs. Read: Huh?
 * Arthur: Come here!
 * Mrs. Read: Arthur...!
 * D.W.: Arthur...!
 * Mr. Read: Arthur...!

D.W. the Copycat [1.5b]

 * Arthur: N-O! No!!! There are no babies in baseball!

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 * Jane: Excuse me, I'm on the phone.

Locked in the Library [1.6a]

 * Francine: ARTHUR READ! Did you tell everyone I looked like a marshmallow?!
 * Arthur: Uh....uh....
 * Buster: [to Arthur] Yeah, don't you remember? When she was wearing that goofy sweater. [to Francine] So, what do you want to do about it?
 * Francine: You better apologize or...
 * Buster: [to Francine] Or what?
 * Francine: [points at Arthur] Or you're gonna get it!

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 * Ms. Turner: 5:00.

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 * [after Arthur and Francine get locked in the library, they bump into each others' backs.]
 * Arthur and Francine: [both screams] [to each other] YOU!?
 * Francine: Arthur, why didn't you tell me what time it was?! You got us locked in.
 * Arthur: [pointing to himself] Me?! [pointing to Francine] Why didn't you say what time it was?!
 * Francine: [pointing to Arthur] I'm NOT your mother, Arthur Read?! I mean, how dumb does a person have to be to get locked in a library?! [holds up her arms in a "V" shape position with her hands open and pauses for a few seconds; angrier] Anyway, [puts her arms down] I have no time for childish bickering. I have to get out of here. [walks off]
 * Arthur: Fine. [walks after Francine]
 * Francine: Fine. And by the way, I'm still not talking to you, and I'm not listening, either. [covers her ears with her hands and bends her elbows and walks forward until she bumps her elbow onto a bookshelf] Ow!? [Arthur and Francine gets stacks of books off of the bookshelves and create passageways to escape from the library. Arthur builds a tower full of books while Francine builds a staircase of books.] Oh! [walks to the tower of books and grabs a book from the tower right before Arthur is about to unlock the window]
 * Arthur: HEY! [the tower collapses and becomes a mess full of books, causing Arthur to fall] [sarcastically] Thanks, I was almost there.
 * Francine: [completes the staircase of books with the book she last grabbed, walks up the staircase, and unlocks the window, but a fly comes by, and takes 3 attempts to shoo the fly away, but screams and starts falling off the stairs of books] Ow!
 * [Arthur starts running up the staircase of books, and Francine goes after him also. Arthur starts pulling on the window handles, but nothing works out. Francine then helps him out, puts her foot against the window, then the handles break off, and she and Arthur fall and the staircase of books collapses]
 * Arthur: I just remembered something...
 * Francine: What?
 * Arthur: Today is Saturday, which means the library is closed until...
 * [Francine gasps in horror]
 * Arthur and Francine: MONDAY!! [their voices start echoing around the library]

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 * [after Muffy has hung up on Francine]
 * Arthur: What did you do?! How could you let her hang up?!
 * Francine: Keep your shirt on! I'm calling my mom. [Francine dials the number of her apartment]
 * Telephone's recording message: To dial out, you must enter the correct user code. Please hang up and try again. To dial out... [Francine gives an annoyed look to the camera]
 * Arthur: Okay. We're doomed!
 * Francine: You're such a wimp.
 * Arthur: And you're a bossy know-it-all, [low tone] marshmallow.
 * Francine: [angrier] That does it, Arthur Read! If I have to spend the weekend here, I'm NOT spending it with you!
 * Arthur: Fine with me! See if I care!

Arthur Accused! [1.6b]

 * Ms. Tingley: This doesn't look good, Mr. Haney...
 * Mr. Haney: It certainly doesn't, Ms. Tingley.
 * Arthur: You mean, you think I STOLE THE QUARTERS?!
 * Mr. Haney: YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM, ARTHUR!
 * Ms. Tingley: You certainly were!
 * Mr. Haney: If that money doesn't turn up, I'm afraid that you'll have to serve a day...
 * Ms. Tingley: Week!
 * Mr. Haney: ...a week of after school detention starting today!
 * Ms. Tingley: And no picnic for you tomorrow!

Buster Makes the Grade [1.7b]

 * [Buster walks into Mr. Haney's office]
 * Mr. Haney: Come in.
 * Buster: Mom, Grandma, what are you guys doing here?
 * [Buster's mother Bitzi and his grandmother are in Mr. Haney's office about Buster's poor grades]
 * Bitzi: It's nothing to worry about, dear. [sobs]
 * [Buster's grandmother comforts her]
 * Mr. Haney: [takes out a lollipop and tissue] Really, Mrs. Baxter. It's not as bad as always is serious, very serious, but nothing a little elbow grease - A lot of elbow grease - Can't fix. Hopefully. Sit down, Buster.
 * [Mr. Ratburn sets a chair in the middle of the office for Buster]

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 * Binky: "In 1776, Thomas Jefferson, who would later become the third President of the United States, wrote the Declaration of Independence." [Binky is madly with Buster snores. Binky takes off the glasses, which have eyes painted on them. Buster is asleep.] Buster?!

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 * Bitzi: Buster, wake up! Your English tutor is here.
 * [Buster wakes up and finds Arthur at the door]
 * Buster: Oh. [chuckles] It's just you, Arthur.
 * Bitzi: Well, I'll leave you two to your work.
 * [she leaves the room]
 * Buster: Hey, Arthur, good plan. You fooled her completely. If we hurry, we can get to the park before the game starts.
 * Arthur: We're not going to the park today, Buster.
 * Buster: What?
 * Arthur: Get your books. We're gonna study!
 * Buster: STUDY?!

Arthur's New Puppy [1.8a]

 * Jane: Arthur, my rug.
 * Arthur: [Pal ripped rug] Uh-oh. Pal?! Pal?!

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 * Arthur: Pal, sit. [pauses; Pal gets up] No, sit. [D.W. chuckles] Sit. Stay.

Arthur Babysits [1.9a]

 * Arthur: [gasps] Stop that right now!!!

Arthur's Birthday [1.10a]

 * Arthur and Francine ride their bikes to Muffy's House. When they get there, they see duck workers rolling out new lawn. A man with a hedge trimmer walks past them.
 * Francine and Arthur: (gasp)
 * Francine: You think you can do it, Arthur?
 * Arthur: I've got to, Francine! [surreptitiously walks over to the mailbox and puts in an envelope]
 * Muffy: Are you sure this is going to be done in time?
 * Mrs. Crosswire: Muffy, why don't you go check the mail?
 * Muffy: Okay. Maybe there's something for me!
 * Francine: Muffy's coming!
 * Muffy comes running
 * Arthur: [hides behind a tree] Oh no! If Muffy catches me, my entire birthday will be ruined!

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 * Arthur: [writes invitations on the table]
 * D.W.: What are you playing?
 * Arthur: I'm not playing. I'm writing invitations to my birthday party.
 * D.W.: [walks to Arthur] How do you spell "party"?
 * Arthur: P-A-R-T-Y. Why?
 * D.W.: I'm making invitations to my birthday party.
 * Arthur: Your birthday is not for six months!
 * D.W.: Yeah, but I'm gonna invite everyone. And I write slow.
 * Arthur: [picks up the invitations]
 * Mrs. Read: [takes the laundry out of the washing machine, but tugs on a towel] Give me that, you little scamp!
 * Arthur: [comes with his invitations] Mom, my invitations are all written!
 * D.W.: Look at that dog! He's eating a towel! Arthur, your dog can't tell towels from food!
 * Arthur: [put the invitations on the washing machine, picks up Pal and takes him to a calendar on the wall] Come on, boy! I can't wait! How many days left? One, two, three... four more days until my birthday.
 * D.W.: I think it would be easier to teach him to use a calculator than to count.
 * Mrs. Read: Arthur? Are you ready to go buy party supplies?
 * Arthur: Yeah!

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 * Arthur and D.W. enter a party supply store with their mom and explore the store
 * Arthur: Whoa!
 * D.W.: Double whoa! [notices some square balloons] Huh? How do you get square balloons?
 * Store Employee: Blow square breaths!
 * D.W.: Oh...
 * Arthur and Mrs. Read blow noisemakers at each other
 * Arthur looks at balloons, one of which is the shape of Mr. Haney’s head. Arthur scratches his head
 * D.W.: [comes with a unicorn plate] Get these pretty plates, Arthur!
 * Arthur: No way D.W.! I'm getting these! [shows her a Bionic Bunny plate]
 * D.W.: Blech!

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 * The Read parents, Kate and D.W. sit at the dining table. D.W. has a unicorn plate.
 * Kate: [eats messily, coos, laughs]
 * Grandma Thora: What kind of birthday cake should I bake?
 * Arthur: Chocolate!
 * Kate: (coos)
 * D.W.: See, Arthur? Even Kate agrees with me about the plates.
 * Mrs. Read: Have a good day at school, honey!
 * D.W.: And don't forget to hand out your invitations! [hands them to Arthur]
 * Arthur: I hope everybody can come to my party!

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 * Arthur: [catches up with Buster outside Lakewood Elementary] Buster, can you come to my party?
 * Buster: Are you kidding?! Of course!
 * Arthur: [give Binky and invitation at his locker] Binky Barnes.
 * Binky: Me?!
 * Arthur: Yeah, and Francine. [gives an invitation to Francine as she passes]
 * Francine: Oh boy! We can play spin the bottle!
 * Arthur and Buster look embarrassed
 * Binky: [whispers] It's not too late to uninvite her.
 * Arthur: No, I'll just do the recycling that morning so that there'll be no bottles in the house. [meets Muffy who is also holding invitations] Will you come to my party?
 * Muffy: Sure! When is it?
 * Arthur: Saturday afternoon! I can't wait!
 * Prunella, Sue Ellen and Fern: [gasp]
 * Muffy: This Saturday afternoon?! But that's when I'm having my party! [hands out invitations to Arthur’s friends] I would've handed out my invitations two days ago, but they came back late from the printer.
 * Arthur: [hands out invitations to the girls] Can't you change your party to another day?
 * Muffy: Are you kidding?! The rock band and Pickles the clown have been booked for months!
 * Buster: You got Pickles?! He did my cousin's wedding! He's a genius!
 * Students: Ooooh, Pickles!
 * Arthur: But I can't change my party either! All my relatives are coming from Ohio!
 * Students: Ooooh, Ohio!
 * Muffy: Well then, everybody will just have to choose which party to attend.
 * Everyone looks at their invitations.
 * Binky: What are you thinking about?
 * Francine: About whose party to go to. Why? What are you thinking about?
 * Binky: Where's Ohio?

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 * Arthur, Buster, Binky and Brain are playing with a basketball during recess
 * Buster: As boys, we have to stick together! [passes the ball to Binky]
 * Binky: The rabbit's right as rain!
 * Brain: I agree! We all go to Arthur's party! [he, Buster and Binky join hands]
 * Arthur: What about the girls?
 * Buster: Ah, who needs girls?
 * Muffy, Francine, Prunella, Sue Ellen and Fern are nearby at the jungle gym
 * Muffy: Who needs boys? Anyone who doesn't come to my party can't be my friend anymore!
 * Francine: But a party won't be fun without the boys!
 * Muffy: Are you my friend or not!
 * A teacher calls the kids with a whistle. There’s a rope lying on the ground
 * Coach Grimslid: Come here kids! Let's choose sides for a tug of war! Muffy, you be one captain! Buster, you be the other! Muffy, choose your first player!
 * Muffy: This team looks good to me!
 * Buster: That's fine!
 * Coach Grimslid: Okay then, the team that pulls the other team over this line wins! [blows her whistle]
 * Kids: [starts pulling and strains]
 * Muffy: Who needs boys?! Pull! Who needs boys?! Pull!
 * Buster: Who needs girls?! Pull! Who needs girls?! Pull!
 * Binky: Come on guys, pull! [ties the rope to his waist and leans back. Prunella ties the other end to the jungle gym. Suddenly the rope breaks and all kids fall down]
 * Arthur: I guess nobody wins.

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 * Boys and girls sit at separate tables in the Powers’ ice-cream shop.
 * Kids: (chatter)
 * Francine and Arthur both walk to the counter.
 * Arthur: Everybody's really starting to hate each other.
 * Francine: This is just terrible Arthur!
 * Buster, Muffy, Sue Ellen and Fern: [angrily blows raspberry]
 * Arthur: I wish you could come to my party.
 * Francine: I promised Muffy. How can I go to both? What's a party without boys?!
 * Arthur: Wait a minute! I have an idea! [whispers in her ear]
 * Francine: That's a great idea, Arthur!!
 * Arthur: [covers Francine's mouth] Shhh! But we have to keep it secret!

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 * Arthur and Francine sit in the treehouse.
 * Francine: Let me write them. It has to look like Muffy's handwriting.
 * Arthur: Okay, but be sure that there's one for all the girls. I'll write the note to Muffy myself. [begins writing]

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 * Arthur shows a revised invitation to his parents in his dad’s workshop
 * Mr. Read: That's a very good plan! I wish I'd thought of it!
 * Arthur: Francine and I will deliver them first thing in the morning!

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 * Arthur and Francine ride through town on their bikes and put invitations in several mailboxes.
 * Francine: Okay, it's in!
 * Arthur: [checks a clipboard] All that's left is....
 * Arthur and Francine: Muffy!
 * The opening scene at the Crosswires’ gate is shown again
 * Francine: You think you can do it, Arthur?
 * Arthur: I've got to, Francine! [walks to the mailbox]
 * Francine: (gasps) Duck!
 * Arthur ducks and an anthropomorphic duck worker walks by.
 * Duck Worker: (quacks)
 * Arthur hides until the worker has gone back through the gate. Then he runs to the mailbox and is about to put his note in when he hears Muffy.
 * Muffy: Are you sure this is going to be done in time for my big party?
 * Mrs. Crosswire: Muffy, why don't you go check the mail?
 * Muffy: Okay. Maybe I got more presents!
 * Arthur quickly puts in the note.
 * Francine: Muffy's coming!
 * Muffy runs towards the mailbox and Arthur hides behind a tree. Francine covers her eyes.
 * Muffy: [gets the invitation and runs back through the gate] Mommy! I got a note from Arthur!
 * Arthur is not to be seen. Francine scratches her head. Arthur peeps out of some rolls of lawn.
 * Francine: (giggles)
 * Arthur: [comes out covered in mud] Let's go!

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 * Arthur: [runs into the kitchen looking relieved] Mission accomplished!
 * Mr. Read: [holds a plate of pancakes] Just in time for your favorite!
 * Aunt Bonnie: With maple syrup all the way from Ohio!
 * Cousin George: [brings a present] Happy birthday, Arthur! Guess what it is?
 * Arthur: Uhhhh....
 * Cousin George: It's a chemistry set!
 * Arthur: Oh, thanks.
 * Mrs. Read, Grandma Thora and George hang up decorations in the hallway
 * Mrs. Read: Time for birthday kisses! [kisses Arthur on the head]
 * Grandma Thora: And eight birthday hugs! [hugs Arthur]
 * D.W.: And a pinch to grow an inch! (laughs and annoyingly chases Arthur)
 * Arthur: Mooomm!
 * The doorbell rings. Mr. Read opens to Buster and Brain.
 * Buster: Happy Birthday!
 * Prunella walks up to the house.
 * Brain: Hey, what's she doing here?
 * Buster: And here comes Francine too.
 * Francine: (comes running and giggles)
 * Binky, Fern and Sue Ellen come in.
 * Sue Ellen: Am I at the right place?
 * '''Arthur: Yeah, come in!
 * Francine: It's a surprise for Muffy!
 * Brain: It's a surprise for all of us!
 * The kids follow Arthur and Mr. Read closes the door.
 * The living room grandfather clock strikes noon
 * Arthur: Everyone find a place to hide! Muffy will be here any minute!
 * Buster: What did you say in your note to Muffy?
 * Arthur: I said, "I have a special present for you. It's so big that I can't carry it by myself. Please come to my house today at noon to get it!"
 * The doorbell rings.
 * '''Francine: Shh!
 * '''Arthur opens the door to Muffy.
 * Muffy: I'm here for my present!
 * The kids leap out of hiding.
 * Kids: Surprise! Happy Birthday!
 * Arthur: I told you your present was too big to carry.
 * Francine: What's a birthday party without all of your friends?
 * The kids put on party hats. They play limbo. Binky falls on his back while Kate easily crawls under the stick. Mr. Read lifts her up in victory. Buster tries to smash a clown-shaped piñata. So does Francine, but the piñata merely swings
 * Mr. Read: Maybe I better help you out. [hits the piñata to no avail]
 * Kids: (chuckle)
 * Mr. Read hits the piñata with a hammer. The kids continue to party.
 * The kids gather around a birthday cake.
 * Muffy: This is great! We should do this every year! Thank you everybody!
 * Mrs. Read: Next year we'll do it at your house.
 * Francine: Time to open your presents! I picked this out especially for you! [gives the present to Arthur]. You have to promise me you'll use it right away!
 * 'Arthur: Sure, I can't wait! [unpacks a box in a bottle]''
 * Francine: It's a spin the bottle game.
 * Boys: (gasp)
 * Francine: Let me show you how it works. [spins the bottle. It points to Pal and he licks her face].
 * Kids: (laugh)
 * Francine looks annoyed but then pets Pal.
 * Outside, Mr. Read tries to open the piñata with a chainsaw.

Francine Frensky, Superstar [1.10b]

 * [At the Frensky's apartment, Francine starts flickering with the lights, but Catherine gets irritated by this]
 * Catherine: Francine! I'm trying to read Shakespeare.
 * Francine: I'm sorry, Catherine. But if I am to play Edison convincingly, I need experience with electric lights.
 * [Francine continues flickering with the light switch, but Catherine is still annoyed]
 * Catherine: Why don't you study a phonograph or a movie camera? He invented those.
 * Francine: Good idea, I will. As soon as I'm done here.
 * [Francine flickers with the light switches once again]
 * Catherine: Mother!

Arthur's Baby [1.11a]

 * Arthur's Mom: Happy first birthday, Kate!
 * Arthur and D.W.: Happy birthday, Kate!
 * (Kate giggles and stuffs the cake in her mouth)
 * Arthur: Babies do some dopey things, but I guess we were all babies once, like my friend Buster.
 * (Baby Buster eats food placed in the shopping cart)
 * Bitzi: No, sweetie. Don't do that.
 * (Bitzi throws the apple away. Buster eats the celery)
 * Bitzi: Oh, goodness! No! Stop!
 * (Bitzi takes the celery away from him)
 * Arthur: And Mr. Ratburn.
 * (Baby Mr. Ratburn is drawing on the walls while his mother is vacuuming)
 * Mr. Ratburn's Mother: Emil, what are you doing?!
 * Arthur: Even my mom and dad.
 * Arthur's Mom as a baby: Clean your room! :Arthur: Even my little sister Kate is growing up.
 * (Arthur's Mom wipes Kate's mouth with a napkin.)
 * Arthur: I already miss the days when she was a cute little baby.
 * D.W.: (gets into a heated argument with Arthur) No, you don't!
 * Arthur: Do too!
 * D.W.: You didn't even like Kate when she was a little baby!
 * Arthur: Did too!
 * D.W.: (annoyed) Uh-huh, sure. I remember exactly what happened...

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 * (Arthur and D.W. are having a grape-eating contest to see which one will eat the last grape.)
 * Arthur: Let go, D.W.!
 * D.W.: No, you let go!
 * Arthur: You already ate more than me!
 * D.W.: I needed more than you. You're only bigger than me because you're full of so much food!
 * (The last grape lands into D.W.'s mouth.)
 * Arthur: (pissed off) You know how the world could be perfect? Remove all little sisters! That's my idea of perfect!
 * D.W.: (swallows the grape) Delicious!
 * Arthur's Dad: Arthur! D.W.! We have a surprise for you.
 * Arthur: Is it a new bicycle?
 * Arthur's Mom: No!
 * D.W.: Is Arthur moving out?
 * Arthur's Mom: No!
 * Arthur and D.W.: What is it? What is it?
 * Arthur's Mom: We're going to have a baby!
 * D.W.: (excited) A baby!
 * Arthur: (surprised) A baby?
 * D.W.: A baby! Yahoo! Baby, baby, baby, baby! Yay, baby!
 * Arthur's Dad: It will be about six months before the baby comes. Plenty of time to get ready.

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 * (At the gym, Binky and Arthur are fighting, but Arthur loses.)
 * Binky: You better buy some earplugs. Babies never stop crying! (evilly begins to laugh, and the imagination scene fades in, where the new baby is crying.)
 * Arthur: Pass the salt, please.
 * Arthur's Mom: What?
 * Arthur: (loudly) I said, pass the salt!
 * (A firetruck passes by the Read house. We see the firefighters plug their ears.)
 * Binky: So you can forget about sleeping! (laughs)
 * (Later, he and his friends are at the pool.)
 * Muffy: Poor Arthur. In a few months, he'll be changing all those dirty diapers! (plugs her nose before jumping into the pool, causing the screen to be splashed by water effects)

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 * Buster: (pretends that Arthur is being protected by the baby's dirty diapers.) This should protect you from those smelly diapers!
 * Arthur: (muffled) Yeah, I can't smell anything!
 * Buster: Great!
 * Arthur: (muffled) But I can't breathe!
 * Buster: *gasps* Whoa!! *loud crash* (tries to pull the shoe off of Arthur's mouth, and as this happens, Arthur gasps for breath and Buster accidentally crashes through some of Arthur's parents' things.)

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 * (At the mall, Arthur and Buster see some babies in strollers, which gets him confused.)
 * Arthur: What's the big deal with babies? They don't even do anything!
 * Buster: Maybe you can teach your baby to do something useful, like earn money for you.
 * (In Arthur's imagination, he imagines he is a magician.)
 * Arthur: Presenting the Amazing Baby!
 * (The audience is thrilled by the Amazing Baby, and they give their money to Arthur the magician.)
 * Arthur: Thank you! Thank you!
 * (In the second imagination, Arthur pretends he has a smart baby who does his homework for him.)
 * Buster (V.O.): Or do your homework.
 * Arthur: And when you're done with math, don't forget to write my report on Magellan!
 * ​(Now Arthur and Buster are in the treehouse while the imagination fades out.)
 * Arthur: *sighs* If only life were like that.
 * Buster (V.O.): Pretty soon, you can forget about playing after school; you'll have to babysit! (laughs)
 * Arthur: (in disappointment) Yeah.
 * Francine: And you'll start talking baby talk. All the time!
 * (Arthur and his friends are playing football and he trips to other side of the team and falls.)
 * Coach: Great catch, Read! You okay?
 * Arthur: (in baby talk) Got an ouchy boo-boo!
 * (Everyone on the football team, including their coach, starts laughing out loud.)
 * Francine: Oh, Arthur talks like a baby!
 * Binky: (holding his nose) And you smell like diapers, too!

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 * (That night, Arthur is in bed having a nightmare, then his mom comes in and startles him.)
 * Arthur: (screams)
 * Arthur's Mom: Everything okay, honey? You were tossing and turning!
 * Arthur: Um, I--I was... having a dream.
 * Arthur's Mom: I guess you must be excited as I am about the baby coming.
 * Arthur: Yeah! It's all I think about!

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 * (At the park, Arthur and his friend Buster are flying kites together when they see three cooing babies in their strollers.)
 * Arthur: I guess I'm ready for that baby now. I've thought of everything!
 * Buster: What if your mom has more than one?

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 * (In Arthur's imagination, he dreams that he has more than one baby, which makes him scream. Meanwhile, at home, Doctor D.W. asks him if he wants to pretend to change a baby's diaper.)
 * D.W.: Arthur! Come over here and I'll show you how to diaper a baby!
 * Arthur: (screams at D.W.) Oh no, no! Get that diaper off my Bionic Bunny right now! And stop trying to turn everything into a baby!
 * Arthur's Mom: Forget the diapers, come over here. I want to show you two something. You were a baby once, too, you know! (turns on the TV and plays a video of when Arthur was a baby.)
 * Arthur (V.O.): Is that me?
 * Arthur's Mom: (on TV) Come on, dear! Ohhh!
 * Arthur's Mom: Yes, you were such a cute baby.
 * D.W.: Yeah, what went wrong?
 * (Arthur's Mom now puts on a video of when D.W. was a baby with lots of crying.)
 * D.W.: That's me?! Don't I look adorable? And I bet the new baby's going to be just like me!
 * Arthur: (cringes) That's what I'm afraid of.

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 * (Now, Arthur's mom is now preparing her trip to the hospital to have a baby, and she is gathering all her stuff.)
 * Arthur: (confused) What are you doing?
 * Arthur's Mom: I have to be ready to go to the hospital at anytime now!
 * D.W. (V.O.): Here's something to look at while you're in the hospital to help you make another perfect kid.
 * Arthur's Mom: (giggles) I'll pack that with my other things.

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 * (The next morning, Arthur and D.W. are riding down the stairs and D.W. thought she won and she laughs.)
 * D.W.: I win! I win!
 * Arthur: Did not, it was a tie!
 * D.W.: *laughs*
 * Arthur: *grunts in frustration* Huh??!!
 * (Arthur is really surprised to see that Grandma Thora is in the house making pancakes, which makes him confused.)
 * Grandma Thora: Who wants blueberry pancakes?
 * D.W.: Grandma Thora, you're in the wrong house!
 * Arthur: Where are Mom and Dad, Grandma?
 * Grandma Thora: They're at the hospital. You both have a new baby sister!
 * D.W.: A sister! My sister! She'll be just like me! Yahoo!
 * Arthur: Oh, brother.
 * D.W.: Oh, sister! Yay!
 * Arthur: (weakly) Yahoo....

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 * ''(At the hospital, D.W. and Arthur's dad look and see which baby is theirs. Arthur's dad finds her.)
 * D.W. (V.O.): Which one is my sister, daddy?
 * Arthur's Dad: That's her, and her name is Kate.
 * (Kate starts crying. This makes Arthur confused.)
 * D.W. (V.O.): She's got your nose, Arthur!
 * Arthur: And your mouth.

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 * (Kate arrives home. D.W. is very excited, but Arthur's mom tells her to be quiet because Kate is sleeping.)
 * D.W. (V.O.): She's here! My sister's here! Let me see! Let me see! Let me see!!
 * Arthur's Mom: Shhh! She's sleeping.
 * D.W. (V.O.): Ohhhhh...

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 * (That afternoon, Arthur's dad decides to record a video of Kate.)
 * Arthur: She's kinda cute.
 * Arthur's Mom: Arthur, would you like to hold Kate?
 * (When Arthur holds Kate, she starts crying.)
 * Arthur: MOM!!! MOM!!!!
 * D.W.: Can I hold her? Can I hold her? She doesn't cry when I hold her.

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 * (That night, Arthur gets near Kate, which accidentally makes her cry.)
 * Arthur: Hi, Kate! I'm your big brother.

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 * (At school, Francine doesn't understand why Kate cries when Arthur accidentally gets near her.)
 * Francine: What do you mean, she hates you?
 * Arthur: She cries every time I get near her.
 * Francine: She's a baby! Babies cry.
 * Arthur (V.O.): D.W. doesn't make her cry. Just me!

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 * (Then on Wednesday afternoon, his mother wants him to babysit Kate while she is gone.)
 * Arthur's Mom: Arthur, could you watch Kate while I go upstairs?
 * Arthur: Uh, are you sure?
 * Arthur's Mom: Ohh, I'm sure you'll do just fine!
 * Arthur (V.O.): Here, y-you dropped this.
 * D.W.: (angry) ARTHUR!!! WAS THAT ON THE FLOOR?! IT HAS TO BE "STERIBILIZED"!!
 * (Kate cries, and D.W. asks Arthur to hold the pacifier while she gets something from her nurse bag.)
 * D.W.: Hold this. (opens the bag, but things fall on the floor) Darn! (grabs the tissue) Don't worry, I'll take care of everything! (wipes the pacifier with her tissue, blows on it, rubs it on her nurse outfit, and puts it back in Kate's mouth. Then Kate stops crying and falls asleep when the pacifier is in her mouth. Afterwards, the doorbell rings.) I'll get it!
 * (Buster and Francine are at the front door and D.W. answers it.)
 * D.W.: Hi!
 * Buster: Can Arthur come out?
 * D.W.: No, he's babysitting. Would you like to come in and see my baby?
 * Buster and Francine: Yeah! Sure!
 * (When Buster and Francine are in the house, they awe at the way Kate is when she's sleeping.)
 * D.W.: Don't get too close, because you have germs!
 * Francine: What a cute baby! She looks just like me when I was a baby!
 * (Kate squirms, spits out her pacifier, and starts crying again.)
 * D.W.: Everybody stand back! I know what she wants! (She then grabs the baby bottle out of her nurse bag and tries giving it to Kate. She jolts her head back and forth, then cries again. D.W. then gives the bottle to Francine.) Everyone remain calm!
 * Francine: Arthur, aren't you going to help?
 * Arthur: No, I'll only make it worse!
 * D.W.: I know exactly what to do! Arthur, hold her while I get a clean diaper!
 * Buster: Come on, Kate! (makes mouth noises, but Kate continues crying)
 * Arthur: (holding Kate and patting her) I wonder what she's trying to tell us! (Kate then burps and sighs. She then falls asleep right on Arthur's shoulders)
 * Francine and Buster: Awww......
 * Arthur's Mom: Is everything alright? (D.W. is shocked to see that Arthur calmed Kate down.)
 * Arthur: It is now.
 * Buster: Arthur burped the baby right when she was about to explode! (Kate then kisses Arthur, but Buster thinks she's spitting on him) Oh, gross! She's spitting on him!
 * Francine: She is not! She's kissing him!
 * (Arthur's Mom, Francine and Buster are all in awe. Then D.W. enters the living room, proud of what Arthur has done.)

D.W.'s Baby [1.11b]

 * Arthur: And now it's Kate's very first birthday. (D.W. secretly films Arthur) Cut it out! Mom, D.W.'s wrecking the video!!!

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 * (Baby Kate is being changed)
 * D.W: P.U.! It smells like a zoo in here! (D.W. runs to the window for some fresh air)
 * Jane: D.W., close that! The baby will be in a draft.
 * (D.W. looks down and notices her doll. She picks the doll up by her legs.)
 * D.W.: (holding her nose) Eww! My doll smells like stinky diapers!

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 * David: Oh! How did my new shoes get in the laundry basket?
 * D.W.: Kate did it! I saw her.
 * David: D.W., go to your room and think about what you just told me! I'll be up in a minute to discuss it with you!

Arthur Writes a Story [1.12a]

 * Arthur: I can't do it! [all shush at Arthur] AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

<hr width=50% />
 * Binky: Did this really happen?
 * Arthur: Well, sort of. It started out as a story of how I got my dog.
 * Mr. Ratburn: It did?
 * Arthur: Yeah, but I thought it might be too boring.
 * Mr. Ratburn: I'd like to hear that story. Don't worry about what you think people want to hear. Just tell your story the way it means the most to you.

Arthur the Wrecker [1.14a]

 * D.W.: Mom? [sing-song voice] Arthur broke the window!

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 * [Arthur and Buster are in the computer den]
 * Buster: Couldn't you just show it to me for one second?
 * Arthur: I guess. Mom would never even know. [they start playing "Deep Dark Sea"]
 * D.W: Arthur, what are you doing? Mom told you not to play on her computer.
 * Arthur: We're not playing. I'm just showing it to Buster. Go somewhere else!
 * D. W: If I go away, I'll probably tell Daddy. Besides, I want to watch.
 * Arthur: Okay, you can watch, but be quiet.
 * Buster: Wow! Even the Brain didn't get this far.
 * D. W: What's that?
 * Arthur: I don't know.
 * Buster: Go to it. Maybe it's the thing.
 * D. W: A treasure chest!
 * Buster: I think that's it. That's...
 * Arthur and Buster: The thing!
 * Arthur: I think I won. We've got to open it!
 * [Arthur and Buster both grab at the mouse, then Buster accidentally knocks the keyboard off the desk along with the mouse which crash to the floor. Arthur, Buster and D.W. gasp in horror and the computer starts buzzing as the CRT monitor starts to flicker in waves, the screen goes nearly black with a dot in the middle, the screen appears again, and then wipes away completely]
 * Buster: You wrecked it!
 * Arthur: No, I didn't. You knocked the keyboard off the desk.
 * Buster: Because you pushed my arm. Try turning it off and on again. [Arthur presses the top button below the slot, but nothing seems to budge]
 * D. W: You killed it! Now Mommy will lose her job. Then we'll lose the house, and live in the street, and Kate will get pneumonia, and we'll all starve!
 * Arthur: D. W., be quiet! I'm thinking.
 * D. W: And it's all your fault! So you better fix it, because I like living here! [Buster grabs onto the computer tensely]
 * Arthur: Don't do that! You'll make it worse.
 * Buster: Maybe you better call your mom.
 * Arthur: I can't. She said not to play with it. But now I wrecked it! I've got it. Maybe we could fix it before she gets home.
 * D. W: Maybe a rich family will adopt me. I'm cute.
 * Buster: Who'd know how to fix a computer?
 * Arthur and Buster: [enthusiastically] The Brain!

<hr width=50% />
 * Jane: Bad Arthur, bad boy!

Arthur's Family Vacation [1.15a]

 * D.W.: [sings] Guess what, Arthur? You can't go to camp! You can't go to camp! We're going on vacation. We're going on vacation. We're going on vacation.

Grandpa Dave's Old Country Farm [1.15b]

 * Dave: Okay, kids. Leave those dishes on the table. We're going to the fair!
 * Arthur: The fair! Alright! Let's go!
 * D.W.: Hmm-hmm!
 * Arthur: Oops. Um, Grandpa, the fair sure would be fun, but...
 * Dave: Like what? Are you feeling sick?
 * Arthur: No, I'm fine, but we can't go to the fair. We have to stay home today and build the hen-house.
 * Dave: Horsefeathers. I can't make you two stay here and work, or what'll I tell your folks. And besides, this farm has been in our family for a hundred and fifty...
 * D.W.: Grandpa! We are your family!
 * Dave: Oh, well, you have a point there. I guess I could use a couple of... assistants... for a while.

D.W. Flips [1.16b]

 * D.W.: [Long pause; to the Tibbles touching Emily] Hey! Leave her alone!

Arthur, World's Greatest Gleeper [1.17b]

 * Muffy: There he is! Arrest him! Arrest him and make him give it back! Lock him up and throw away the key!
 * Arthur: Huh?
 * Mr. Haney: Now, now, Muffy, calm down.
 * Mrs. MacGrady: What in Nirvana is going on?
 * Muffy: Arthur stole my cellular phone!
 * Arthur: What?? Why would I? I did not!
 * Muffy: Did too, Arthur! Everybody knows you're the biggest gleeper in school.
 * Mr. Haney: Biggest what?
 * Mrs. MacGrady: Gleeper. Someone who steals.
 * Muffy: Make him give it back, Mr. Haney! Torture him till he confesses! Send him up the river for life! He's a menace to society! Take away his TV privileges! Shave his head! Make him eat... Oh. Excuse me. Hello, Muffy here. Oh, hi, Mommy. Yes, I did remember to tell Mr. Haney about my manicure appointment Friday.
 * Mr. Haney: Arthur, could I see you in my office? Make yourself comfortable. I was rather upset when Muffy called you the biggest beeper... beeper, yes? In school. Lollipop?
 * Arthur: No thank you, sir.
 * Mr. Haney: Now, I wouldn't want to take hearsay too seriously. If we believed everything we heard, we'd probably still think the world was full of monsters and sea serpents. And people would be afraid to go swimming, which would be a shame, since swimming is a perfectly good form of exercise. I do it myself, in fact. But bleeping, now that's something very serious, indeed. And if you have anything to do with it, I warn you to stop immediately because you will get caught. Then you'll be in deep trouble.
 * Arthur: Yes, sir.
 * Mr. Haney: Did I say that right? Bleeping? Blurping?
 * Arthur: Gleeping, sir.
 * Mr. Haney: Gleeping, of course. Now, run along, Arthur. You'll be late for class.

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 * Molly: So? What'd he do to you?
 * Arthur: Well, nothing. He just warned me.
 * Molly: All right! Did you tell him where to get off?
 * Rattles: You old con-artist. I bet you had him going in circles.
 * Arthur: Listen, you guys, there's something I have to tell you.
 * Binky: I bet he sold out on us! I bet he told them everything he knew about us, otherwise how come Mr. Haney didn't punish him?
 * Molly: Arthur, you didn't... Did you?
 * Arthur: Didn't what? I mean, no!
 * Rattles: Why, you little cheat! You little squealer! Why, I oughta...
 * Arthur: But I didn't! I didn't! Ow, stop it!
 * Binky: Okay, so if you didn't, why don't you prove it. Prove you really are our chief gleeper.
 * Arthur: How?
 * Binky: Gleep all the ice cream bars from the cafeteria.

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 * Rattles: You big liar! You lie! You're just a lie-y liar! You big lying lie-face!
 * Binky: Well, I hope you've learned your lesson, Arthur, which is, namely, never to lie because when you lie, you... well, you're doing a very, very bad thing.
 * Francine: Hi, Arthur. I wanted to tell you, I'm glad you told the truth.
 * Buster: Hey, anybody wanna play kickball?
 * Rattles: Yeah, sure! Come on, Binky!
 * Francine: Come on, Arthur. I'm not mad at you anymore.

Arthur's Chicken Pox [1.18a]

 * Arthur & D.W.: [Jane turns off the TV with the TV remote] MOM!!!
 * Arthur: We were right in the middle!
 * D.W: 5 more minutes?
 * Arthur: It was just getting to the good part!
 * D.W.: Oh, Mom! Why do I have to eat at the table?
 * Mrs. Read: Because you're not sick.
 * D.W.: Ech! Spinach?! How come Arthur doesn't have to eat spinach?
 * Mr. and Mrs. Read: Because he's sick.
 * D.W.: He's not! He's faking.

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 * D.W.: Hurry up! I'm next.
 * Arthur: I don't feel so well.
 * D.W.: Go on, faker.
 * Mrs. Read: What is it?
 * Mr. Read: What's wrong?
 * D.W.: Arthur has polka dots!
 * Arthur: What's wrong with me?
 * Mr. Read: It's chicken pox.
 * D.W.: Do you get it from chickens?
 * Mr. Read: No, it's just a normal childhood illness. I had it, your mom had it.
 * Mrs. Read: I'll call Grandma Thora and see if she can come over while we're at work. She knows all about chicken pox.
 * D.W.: Does this mean Arthur can't go to the circus?
 * Mrs. Read: Well, we'll have to see.
 * Arthur: WHAT?!
 * Mrs. Read: I'm sorry, honey, but chicken pox is very contagious.
 * D.W.: Looks like you're not going anywhere for a while. Don't worry. I'll take good care of you.

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 * D.W.: Daddy, it's not fair! How come Arthur gets chicken pox and I don't?
 * Mr. Read: Honey, you're lucky you're not sick. Chicken pox is no fun.
 * D.W.: Yes, it is! It's more fun than anything!
 * Mr. Read: More fun than the circus? More fun than elephants and cotton candy and ice cream?
 * D.W.: Of course!
 * Mr. Read: Well, you have till tomorrow to decide. If you don't want to go, you can stay home with Arthur.

Sick as a Dog [1.18b]

 * D.W.: Want to hear a good joke? Knock-knock... (Pal grabs the hotdog and pulls her off her chair.) Hey! The dog stole my wiener! The dog stole my wiener!
 * David: Arthur, tell Pal to let go!
 * Arthur: Pal, let go!? [Pal drags D.W. through the kitchen.]
 * D.W.: It's mine It's mine!
 * Arthur: Pal, sit! Heel! Stay, lied down! Um... Roll over!! [Pal has got D.W.'s hot dog and as he runs around the kitchen, he pulls D.W. with him]
 * D.W. Read: Give it back! I don't eat your dog food, do I?! [Pal pulls her under the table. Oof. They play tug-of-war.] Grr! I'll never let go! Never! Ow! [Pal pulls the hotdog out of the bun and she falls backwards, after Pal managed to get D.W.'s wiener and ate it] Someday, I'm gonna teach that dog a lesson he won't forget!?

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 * Arthur: How do you make him sick?!

Arthur Makes the Team [1.19b]

 * Oliver: Hey, hey, hey!? Knock it off!!!! [Long pauses out; Arthur's gone] Where Arthur go?

Arthur's Almost Boring Day [1.20a]

 * Francine: [singing] It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring. [Oliver snores] And it's driving me nuts!

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 * D.W.: You're doing it wrong!
 * Arthur: I am not! I am not! I am not!
 * Mrs. Read: What's going on, you two?
 * D.W.: Arthur's ruining the game. He's not playing right.
 * Arthur: I am so! I roll the dice, I move around the board.
 * D.W.: But you're supposed to be having fun. Look at the little boy on the box!
 * Arthur: That little boy is not playing with you.
 * Mrs. Read: Arthur, is there another game you can play?
 * D.W.: Yes. I'll go set it up.
 * Arthur: Mom. Dad. I can't write a report that I played Confuse the Goose. Everyone will laugh at me.
 * Mr. Read: Why don't you read a book to D.W.?
 * Mrs. Read: Yes, that should be quiet... eh, fun.
 * Arthur: Mom and Dad said I don't have to play that. But I'll read to you.
 * D.W.: Mom! Arthur said you said he didn't have to play with me!
 * Buster: I don't know what you can do, Arthur.
 * Arthur: Everything around here is too boring to be in a report.
 * D.W.: I'm ready! Hm-hm! Hm-hm! Hm-hm!
 * Buster [on phone]: Just watch wrestling until the rain stops. How long can it rain for?
 * Weatherman [on TV]: This system is very similar to a monsoon during which it rains nonstop for an entire month.
 * Buster [on phone]: Arthur? Are you still there?
 * D.W.: Like it would be so hard to play one game of Confuse the Goose with your adorable sister.
 * Arthur: "Once upon a time..."
 * D.W.: Let me guess. They lived happily ever after, right?
 * Arthur: Right.
 * D.W.: I knew it. Boooring!

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 * Mr. Read: Everybody, freeze!!
 * D.W.: Arthur's trying to bite my nose.
 * Mr. Read: Is that any way to treat a book?!
 * Arthur: No. No, but she... she didn't want me reading to her!
 * Mrs. Read: Why don't you draw?
 * D.W.: What did you draw?
 * Arthur: A dog, and he's bored. What did you draw?
 * D.W.: A stick.
 * Arthur: A stick?
 * D.W.: A stick from the park where you promised to take me today!!
 * Arthur: I never promised you anything!
 * D.W.: You did too!
 * Arthur: I did not!
 * Mrs. Read: We're never gonna get anything done.
 * D.W.: You did too!
 * Arthur: I did not!
 * Mr. Read: Have fun at Grandma's.
 * D.W.: It's raining! We'll die out here!
 * Arthur: Come on! If you'd behaved, we'd still be dry!
 * D.W.: Me?! I didn't do anything! I'm the cute one! You're annoying!
 * Arthur: Oh, great! Now I get to write a really exciting report about visiting my grandma! "I went to my grandma's. She's nice. The end." I'm doomed!

The Half-Baked Sale [1.20b]

 * Arthur: DW, leave Pal alone.

D.W.'s Snow Mystery [1.22a]

 * D.W.: You wanna know what's missing? You wanna know what's missing?!
 * All: Yes! [Their toothpick tower collapses] Aw, not again.

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 * Jane: Hold it, young lady, the snowball doesn't belonged in the house.

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 * Francine: We weren't there when Arthur did it!
 * Arthur: I didn't do it!
 * D.W.: Somebody did it. I want a confession. Confess! Confess!
 * Buster: I've reached a conclusion by discerning the truth from the eyewitness accounts. It's very simple. While we were busy, a space alien materialized. In a scientific search for samples of human food, he took the snowball and nothing else, because he left in a hurry.
 * Mr. Read: Huh?! Now who left that freezer door open?
 * Buster: It's the only logical answer. That's why the plate is missing also.
 * Francine: That's crazy!
 * D.W.: One of you took my snowball!
 * Francine: Why don't you just confess, Buster?
 * Arthur: Yeah!
 * Buster: Me? Why don't you?!
 * Francine: It was probably Arthur.
 * Arthur: Me? How could you think I would do something like that?
 * Mrs. Read: Whoever did it should just admit it. It's not nice to do this to a little girl.
 * D.W.: I think you're all in on it. You're trying to break a child's heart. It's a conspiracy!
 * Grandma Thora: You know, someone's going to get their feelings hurt if everyone doesn't calm down.

Team Trouble [1.22b]

 * Mr. Ratburn: The Great Wall of China is 1500 miles long. It was built over 2000 years ago and still stands today.
 * Arthur: Wow.
 * Buster: [whispers] That's even older than the cafeteria hot dogs.
 * Mr. Ratburn: Ahem! He shows the next slide. The Appian Way was the chief highway from Rome to Greece. It was built in 312 B.C. It's still in use today. He switches the lights back on. We’re going to divide into teams to study and report on important ancient civilizations. The team to report on Rome: Arthur, Francine and Buster.
 * [Arthur and Buster shake hands, then Francine and Buster.]
 * Arthur: Great team!
 * Francine: Oh, boy!
 * Buster: Great!

Arthur's Tooth [1.24a]

 * Francine: Baby.

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 * Francine: Does anyone have a bib for the baby?

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 * Francine: Well, if it isn't Arthur the baby!

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 * Arthur: Okay. But if you ask me, now you're being a baby.

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 * Buster: Arthur's right, Francine.

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I'm a Poet [1.28a]

 * Fern: (loudly) Quiet! [mini pauses; birds flaps the wings noises with a car alarm goes off] I bet that none of you can write a poem and finish it in time to submit it to the poetry contest.

My Club Rules [1.29a]

 * Muffy: Rules, rules, rules. You're out! Get off my property, or I'm calling the police!

Stolen Bike [1.29b]

 * Laverne: I'm sorry, honey. But we can't afford to get you a new bike. Maybe next year.
 * Francine: It's not fair! I'll die without a bike. [puts her head down on the table]
 * Oliver: No! Not that! Anything but that! You mustn't give up, honey! Be brave! Live, I say! LIVE!
 * Catherine: [walks out of the room] Oh, Dad. Grow up!
 * Oliver: [calmly] Catherine's right. And besides, I have an idea.

Arthur Meets Mister Rogers [2.1a]

 * Mr. Rogers: You don't want them to think you're a little kid anymore.
 * Arthur: Yeah... I mean, no offense.
 * Mr. Rogers: Sometimes you feel like you're too old for certain things.
 * Arthur: I just don't want people to make fun of me.
 * Mr. Rogers: Real friends don't make fun of real friends. And your friends seem like real friends. They all seem to be concerned about you.

Draw! [2.1b]

 * Mrs. MacGrady: Tissues to your left, dear. I see one more thing. Oh, yes, here's a cartoon of you as green gloop. (clears throat) I said there's a cartoon of you as green gloop! (Mrs MacGrady turns her head to where the students are hiding) Green gloop! (the students pauses for a one little bit; Buster, haves his hands on the rope, quietly let it go; the students feel guilty and decide to stops causes their friend further humiliation and do nothing happens)
 * Francine: (blows her nose) I just wish they'd stop.

Arthur's Lucky Pencil [2.2b]

 * Arthur: What's in the pencil?!

D.W., the Picky Eater [2.3a]

 * D.W.: Cucumbers: yucky. Mushrooms: yucky. Onions: yucky and smelly. Hey, this isn't lettuce. What kind of a salad is this?
 * Arthur: Uh-oh! She's gonna pop!
 * D.W.: This is spinach.
 * Waiter: Is something the matter?
 * D.W.: This is spinach, and I...HATE...SPINACH!! [everyone in the restaurant gasps] Uh-oh!
 * Waiter: [furiously] That's it! I quit.
 * Jane: [sternly quiet] DORA WINIFRED READ.
 * [cut to Arthur's house with Grandma Thora and Baby Kate]
 * Grandma Thora: Back so soon? Did you have a good time?
 * Arthur: D.W. punched her salad and it exploded! [pauses] All over the waiter, and everyone was staring at us.
 * D.W.: They were NOT! Everybody's making this into such a big deal!
 * Jane: No more restaurants for you, young lady, until you can behave and learn to eat what's placed in front of you. Now, go to your room.
 * Arthur: What about Grandma Thora's birthday at the Once Upon a Restaurant next week?
 * Jane: D.W. will not be joining us.
 * Arthur: Wow, too bad. [sighs] Dinner without D.W. I guess we'll just have to suffer through it without her.
 * Grandma Thora: If D.W. can't come to the restaurant, I'd be just as happy coming over here for dinner.
 * Arthur: What? And miss Once Upon a Restaurant?
 * Grandma Thora: It just wouldn't be a happy birthday if D.W. wasn't there!
 * Arthur: But that's the best restaurant ever! This isn't fair! Am I supposed to do everything with D.W.?

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 * [Arthur watches Francine feed Kate spinach]
 * Francine: Baby Kate is such a big girl! She loves her spinach. Yes, she does. Don't you, Katie-watie?
 * D.W.: [runs inside] Kate, stop! It's a trick! Don't eat it!
 * Arthur: No, no, no. Kate is a big girl. Not like some sisters who throw their food and have tantrums like a baby.
 * D.W.: I'm not a baby!
 * Arthur: Are, too!
 * D.W.: Am not!
 * Arthur: Are too!
 * Francine: QUIET! If you're not a baby, prove it. [she hands D.W. a spoonful of spinach; D.W. is about to take a bite when Kate spits up her spinach and smiles]
 * D.W.: Well, looks like I'm not the only one with good taste around here. I don't hate spinach.

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 * [Arthur stages a phone conversation at home with D.W. listening]
 * Arthur: Oh, Grandma! I'm so glad you changed your mind. I can't believe we're going to the restaurant after all.
 * D.W.: Hey, what are you telling Grandma?!
 * Arthur: Nothing, D.W., leave me alone! What's that, Grandma! Oh, yes, I think it'll be just as much fun without her.
 * D.W.: Without who?! Let me talk to her! [tries to take the phone]
 * Arthur: D.W., isn't there some dancing vegetable on T.V.?
 * D.W.: Give me the phone!! I can go wherever I want!!
 * Arthur: But you said you didn't want to go to restaurants, remember? And this one might have spinach. And... [holds the phone out of D.W.'s reach]
 * D.W.: Grandma, I'm coming to your party, and I'm gonna be lots of fun! Ha, so there! You're not the boss of me, Arthur Read!
 * Arthur: Well, Grandma, I guess there's nothing I can do. We're just going to have to take D.W. with us.
 * D.W.: That's right. Mom, Dad! I wanna go to the restaurant! I'll try new food and eat it all! [runs to find her parents]
 * Arthur: It worked, thanks!
 * Buster: [at the other end, impersonating Grandma Thora] Glad I could help you, sonny!

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 * D.W.: Why is everyone looking at me? I love spinach! Everybody knows that. (Arthur rolls his eyes as D.W. sits back and smiles.)

Arthur Makes a Movie [2.4a]

 * Buster: And then, the evil genius escapes in his supersonic jet to his other space station shaped which is shaped like a giant clam and...
 * Arthur: Buster, snap out of it!
 * Francine: Buster, there's no way we could do something that complicated.
 * Buster: Huh?! Oh, you're right. Why even bother?
 * Brain: Well, we could do a supersonic jet.
 * Buster: Really?
 * Brain: Paper. Marker. Spray-paint. Tah-da!
 * Buster: Wow! It's just like I imagined! Better!

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 * Prunella: Wow! I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it was nothing like the James Hound movie...
 * Arthur: Oh yeah? Well, we tried but...
 * Prunella: It was much better!
 * Arthur: Really?
 * Muffy: And the next one's going to be even better! Oops! [ejects the videotape]

Go To Your Room D.W. [2.4b]

 * D.W.: (plays with dolls on the living room floor) This is Tiffany and this is her servant. And this is their lifeboat and these are the angry sharks... (Kate grabs Tiffany and D.W. gasps) No! I'll do the playing! You just watch me! (Both Kate and D.W. pull at the doll. The head falls off and D.W. gasps.) Aah! Look what you did!
 * Jane: Play nicely, D.W.
 * D.W.: But she killed Tiffany! [Kate giggles]
 * Mrs. Read: Here. Give that to me. This looks easy to fix. Don't worry. (She gives D.W. the fixed doll back.) Ahh, there we go! Good as new! No need to get excited.
 * D.W.: How come you're always on her side?
 * Jane: I am not on anyone's side, but Kate's a baby and, and you're a big girl.
 * D.W.: [angrily] I am NOT a big girl, I'm a little girl! (Kate chuckles) Be quiet, you!
 * Jane: D.W.
 * D.W.: You sweet, little baby-wayby! (She sees Jane leaves the room) This is mine! You can only touch it when I say so.
 * Jane: [sternly] D.W.!
 * D.W.: Give that back, or I'll PINCH you!! [Jane grabs her] Augh!! [drops the Tiffany doll]
 * Jane: [sternly] Dora Winifred Read, go to your room.
 * D.W.: But what did I do?

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 * D.W.: What about my supper? How will I survive?!
 * Jane: Supper's not till 6. You'll be out long before then.
 * D.W.: But what if you forget about me? I could starve to death! Mommy! Mommy! (She clings to her mother’s leg. Mrs. Read looks annoyed. She sits D.W. down on the bed.)
 * Jane: It's 4:30 now. When the clock says 4:40, you can come downstairs. And I'll set the alarm so you'll know when it's time.
 * D.W.: (pretends to cry on her pillow) You don't love me! You only love Kate and Arthur and Daddy and Pal and... and Grandpa, and Aunt Lucy, and...and... (Jane has left the room and Nadine appears.) How long did she say?
 * Nadine: 10 minutes. When it says 4:31, that means one minute has gone by.

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 * David: [after D.W.'s fantasy] What are you doing?
 * D.W.: The clock broke and time stopped and I was coming to warn you-
 * David: [to DW] Nice try, D.W. Back to your room, now.
 * D.W.: [goes backs upstairs to her room, grumpish] Sheesh! You don't have to treat me like a criminal.

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 * D.W.: (sobs) And what about when Cousin Lucy got married? I had to stay at home and cook and clean while everyone else went to the wedding. (Imaginary flashback: D.W., in rags again, which are now completely tattered, cleans the fireplace and sneezes)
 * Jane: [furiously] AREN'T YOU DONE YET?! YOU STILL HAVE THE BEDS TO MAKE AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED THE BREAKFAST DISHES!!
 * D.W.: [in tears] Can't I go to the wedding, please?!
 * Jane: Weddings are NOT for little girls!
 * D.W.: But what about Kate? She's going.
 * Jane: (maniacally) Kate is a baby! Besides, we like her better than you! Ready, everyone? [they leave]
 * Arthur: Don't forget to brush the dog. (D.W. brushes away her tears. She watches from the window as the family gets in the car and leaves. The flashback ends. D.W. sobs on her pillow.)
 * D.W.: [whines] It's so sad being me.
 * Nadine: But you went to the wedding, D.W.
 * D.W.: Whose side are you on, anyway?

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 * D.W.: Are you sure my clock is working? Maybe I've really been in here for hours.
 * Jane: Your clock is working perfectly. Go back to your room.
 * D.W.: That's it. I'm calling Grandma's. At least she likes me... (In her imagination, David picks up the phone in the kitchen. Grandma Thora is phoning from her kitchen with D.W. sitting next to her eating cookies.)
 * David: Hello?
 * Thora: Son, this is your mother. What do you mean by punishing poor little D.W.? (looks at D.W.) Eat up, lovey. You can have all the cookies you want. (returns to call) How could you?! Look at this little angel. This child is perfect. (A halo appears over D.W.'s head) Punish Arthur. He's the real troublemaker.
 * David: Absolutely. Yes, of course, Mom. Arthur, go to your room and never come out!?
 * Arthur: [gulps]

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 * Kate: [babbles and looks coos as Arthur and Jane Read arguing]
 * D.W.: Don't smile at me! This is all your fault!

Arthur's Underwear [2.5a]

 * Binky: Come on, Arthur, to the kitchen.

Play It Again, D.W. [2.6b]

 * Arthur: D.W., I'm trying to do my homework! And there's no such word as "busalooney". If you don't stop, I'm gonna wreck that CD!
 * D.W.: Mom!
 * Mr. Read: I wouldn't have promised to bring the music to the party if I known I lost it.
 * Mrs. Read: Found it!
 * Mr. Read: Great!
 * D.W.: Mom, Arthur's gonna wreck my Crazy Bus!
 * Mrs. Read: Turn it off! I can't hear you!
 * Mr. Read: Arthur?
 * D.W.: Mom and Dad say if you touch it, then they'll adopt you to another country without TV.
 * Mrs. Read: D.W., wash up for dinner.
 * D.W.: What were they thinking when they invented brothers? What a dopey idea!

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 * Mrs. Read: D.W., are you alright?!
 * Mr. Read: What's wrong?!
 * D.W. Crazy Bus is gone! I left it on the thing and it's gone!! GOOOOOOONE!!!!!!
 * Mr. Read: Well, it didn't just get up and walk away.
 * D.W.: I know! Arthur took it!
 * Arthur: I didn't!
 * Mr. Read: Honestly, Arthur?
 * Arthur: I didn't take it, Dad, really!
 * D.W.: Yeah, like you didn't take my snowball out of the freezer!
 * Arthur: Let's not start that again!
 * D.W.: Life is so unfair! Mommy, I can't sleep because I'm starting to forget how the song goes!
 * Francine: She's giving me the creeps, Arthur. Why don't you just give her the CD back?
 * Arthur: I don't have it! Don't you believe me?
 * Francine: Mmm-mmm!

Night Fright [2.7b]

 * Burger Mom: Put down my boy, you big bully!

D.W. Goes to Washington [2.10a]

 * D.W.: Of course I can hear you. What did you say?
 * David: We're deciding where to take a trip.
 * D.W.: I vote for Ponyland! I have to go! It's like a dream come true! Please?
 * Arthur: Remember the last time we went to a place D.W. saw on TV?

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 * Arthur: "Share a sundae with Santa and his friendly reindeer.”
 * Santa: Ho ho ho!!! Didn't you bring me a sundae? How can you share a sundae with Santa if you don't bring a sundae to Santa?

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 * D.W.: Okay, so maybe it won't be as great as Santa's Igloo, but I must go to Ponyland!
 * David: How would you feel about going to Washington D.C.?
 * D.W.: Ponyland!
 * Jane: There are lots of great things in Washington.
 * D.W.: I don't see any ponies!
 * Arthur: Washington is where the president lives!
 * D.W.: I don't care about the president! I care about ponies!
 * David: If you go where Arthur chose this time, you can plan our next trip, okay?
 * D.W.: Promise?
 * David: Promise.
 * D.W.: Okay, okay, I'll go.
 * David: It'll be fun.
 * D.W.: Since I made such a sacrifice, maybe you’ll buy me a pony?
 * David: No.
 * D.W.: I could keep it in my room?
 * David: No.
 * D.W.: I wouldn’t ride it in the house?!
 * David: NO!
 * D.W.: Pony. Ponies. A lucky little girl who owns a pony.
 * David: This is gonna be a long ride.
 * Jane: Hey, D.W., let's play a game.
 * D.W.: Okay, let's name the ponies we pass. Blaze, Scout, Jerry, Stumper, Dasher, Dancer, Lexi...

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 * Arthur: I'm Arthur Read. Mr. President?
 * President: The same Arthur Read who won the spelling bee and who played that great piano solo at the spring recital?

D.W.'s Deer Friend [2.11a]

 * Mr. Read: Hold it! Where are you taking the cereal?
 * D.W.: Walter is hungry.
 * Mr. Read: Slam on your brakes! Walter who?
 * D.W.: Walter Deer!
 * Mr. Read: Walter Deer? Whoa! D.W., our food isn't good for deer to eat.
 * D.W.: Don't worry, Dad, I'm not gonna let him eat it. I'm just gonna get him to come close to me.
 * Mr. Read: D.W., that's not safe, and it's not allowed. You can look at the deer.
 * D.W.: But if all I had to do was look, then I might as well be at home watching TV.
 * Mr. Read: This is the deer's home. You wouldn't like it if someone fed you strange food in your home.
 * D.W.: I would, if it was a deer.

Buster Hits the Books [2.11b]

 * Fern: What are you writing your book report on, Arthur?
 * Arthur: I've read a lot of good books lately. I'm trying to choose between the two best.
 * Brain: If you can't decide, I've read an exciting book about magnetic fields that I highly recommend.
 * [Arthur, Buster and Fern's mouths fall open]
 * Fern: No thanks, it can't be as good as "The Case of the Creepy Shadow." [she pulls out that book.]
 * Brain: What about you, Buster? [he pulls out a set of magnets sticking to one another] It's intriguing reading and comes with six free magnets.
 * Buster: Um, sounds great, Brain, but I plan to do what I always do. Book reports are no sweat.

Arthur's Faraway Friend [2.12a]

 * Arthur: I thought he was my best friend, but he wants to go.
 * Sue Ellen: I bet he doesn't want to go.
 * Arthur: He could have stayed and lived in a pit, but he said no. What does that tell you?
 * Sue Ellen: Try thinking how Buster will feel. You're losing one friend, but everything else stays the same for you.
 * Arthur: Yeah? So?
 * Sue Ellen: Buster's losing all his friends and going to a place where everything is new. It can be scary. I know. We moved a lot because of my father's job. It's hard.
 * Arthur: Buster probably needs a best friend now more than ever.

Arthur the Unfunny [2.13b]

 * Brain: Yeah.
 * Binky: You said it!

Arthur's Knee [2.14b]

 * Arthur: I've decided to stay around the house, help out with some chores and stuff.
 * Francine: Huh? Why?
 * Arthur: Oh, you know, I figured I violated my parents' trust by going to the dump. I should think about what I did and stuff.
 * Sue Ellen: Well, Arthur, that's really adult of you.

Grandma Thora Appreciation Day [2.15a]

 * [Arthur and D.W. sit at the breakfast table in their pajamas. Mrs. Read makes scrambled eggs on toast.]
 * Mrs. Read: Planning a party is a lot of work, you know.
 * D.W.: How hard can it be? You invite people and they come!
 * Mrs. Read: Speaking of people, let's keep this small. Just Grandma Thora's closest friends, okay?
 * D.W.: That's no fun! Can't we do stuff like rent an elephant or a zebra?
 * Mrs. Read: No elephants, D.W., just a nice, small, quiet party. Are you listening, Arthur?
 * [Arthur goes on reading the cereal box without looking]
 * Arthur: Yeah, Mom, a nice, small, quiet...

Love Notes for Muffy [2.16a]

 * (She pulls Fern away. Fern gives Francine a reproving look. In Francine’s imagination she and Brain are standing in an old English courtroom wearing prisoner’s clothes. Arthur as prosecutor is questioning Fern. Mr. Ratburn is the judge.)
 * Arthur: And before Muffy Crosswire hired you, you knew who wrote the note.
 * Fern: I deduced immediately it was Brain and Francine. Of course I had to tell Muffy. My reputation was at stake.
 * Nigel Ratburn (Judge): [bangs with the gavel] That's all the evidence I need to hear. Guilty as charged!
 * Francine: [takes her to the locks in a jail cell with Brain] But it was just a joke... just a joke...just a joke...a joke...

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 * Muffy: They're here because of me.

D.W. Blows the Whistle [2.16b]

 * Arthur: But this is a race course.
 * D.W.: [locks the Arthur and Brain in a jail cell] And obstructing justice?!

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 * Arthur: What do you mean you want me to take D.W. to the race?!
 * Mrs. Read: We'll meet you guys down there. We have to drop Kate off at Grandma Thora's first.
 * Arthur: Couldn't you get a babysitter or something? She's just gonna blow her whistle at everyone!
 * D.W.: Am not! Not unless I see someone who's not being safe.
 * Mr. Read: You have been getting a little carried away with your whistle, D.W.
 * D.W.: But I'm just doing what Officer Safety said to do.
 * Mrs. Read: He didn't mean for you to be a tattletale, D.W. He just wants you to let people know when someone's doing something dangerous, okay?
 * D.W.: I guess.
 * Mr. Read: Good. Now, tomorrow, Arthur, you will take D.W. to the race. And, D.W., you will not bother Arthur.

Francine Redecorates [2.17a]

 * Francine: Wow! [flashback in the jungle and then Tarzan yells and falls off the vines] Uh! Ow!?

D.W.'s Very Bad Mood [2.18b]

 * Jane: D.W., one at a time!
 * D.W.: You're always picking on me. You never pick on anyone else. Only me, me, ME!
 * Jane: You know that's not true, D.W. Everybody has to eat politely and that includes you.
 * D.W.: That does NOT include me! You never include me. You always make me stay home whenever there's anything fun. Only Arthur gets to have fun! Only Arthur...
 * Francine: D.W., can I ask you a question?
 * D.W.: Maybe.
 * Francine: What's the matter with you?! [D.W. gasps and runs out of the room sobbing]
 * Arthur: [sarcastic] That was great. You really solved the problem.
 * Francine: I didn't think she'd get so upset.
 * David: It's not your fault, Francine.
 * Francine: May I be excused? [Francine walks up the stairs and into D.W.’s room where D.W. is sobs on her bed.]
 * D.W.: (sobs)
 * Francine: I'm sorry, D.W. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but you really are being a total doofus. If you know what I mean.
 * D.W.: Who asked you? You don't even live here.
 * Francine: Well, nobody asked me. But I'm Arthur's friend. When something's bugging him, I wanna help.
 * D.W.: You know what, Francine?!
 * Francine: What?
 * D.W.: Go... go...home. I'm too tired to think of any more mean things to say.
 * Brain: So did Francine figure out what's wrong with D.W.?
 * Arthur: No, it only made her worse. Last night she slammed so many doors I thought we'd get trying to arrested and Arthur to not touch the D.W.
 * (fantasy sequence)
 * Announcer: Join us for another nerve-racking half hour of "Temper Tantrum Patrol Squad!"
 * All: (Whining)
 * David: Thank heavens you're here! Upstairs, and to the right.
 * Policeman: You have the right to remain silent--
 * D.W.: I WILL NOT BE SILENT! [stands up and crosses arms] I'LL BE AS LOUD AS I WANT! A-AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME! NO ONE CAN STOP ME! WHO MADE YOU THE BOSS OF THE WORLD?
 * Policeman: We need back up, fast!
 * Binky: Cool! When is that gonna be on?
 * Francine: You know what? I think D.W.'s being a pain because she's upset about something.
 * Arthur: What does D.W. have to be upset about? She's only four years old!
 * Binky: Yeah, it's not like she's a third grader!
 * Francine: It might sound weird, but something's bothering her, and it's up to us to get to the bottom of it. Starting today!
 * Brain: But we have soccer practice today.
 * Francine: Starting tomorrow!
 * Brain: Gee, I'd love to, but I have to clean the garage.
 * Binky: And I have to, er... I have to do... clean our garage too! Yeah, ha, wow. What a coincidence.
 * Arthur: Thanks a lot, guys.
 * Binky: Anytime.

<hr width=50% />
 * Arthur: She's eating her sandwich, she's making a face, she's spitting the baloney into her hand... She's throwing it into the bushes. Pal is eating the bal... Pal!! Put that down! [Pauses]
 * Francine: Quiet! Spies don't yell.
 * Arthur: Sorry. I couldn't help it. Seeing Pal eat spit-covered baloney, yuck!
 * Francine: Give me those! Where'd she go? (D.W. appears right in front of her looking angrily.) Augh!
 * D.W.: I know what you're doing and it won't work!
 * Arthur: She's not saying anything. And it's 10 o’clock and I'm tired!
 * Francine: Arthur, I'm telling you. Whatever it is, she'll say it in her sleep. You can't give up.
 * Arthur: Hm. Wait, this might be it!
 * D.W.: Oh. It's wrong. Something's wrong.
 * Arthur: It's wrong. Something's wrong.
 * D.W.: Because... because...
 * Arthur: Because...
 * D.W.: Because... ARTHUR IS A DODOBRAIN!!!
 * Arthur: Because Arthur is a dodobrain. [Francine can be heard laughing.] Stop laughing, Francine! This is it, Francine. If we can't figure out what's wrong with D.W. today, then I give up.
 * Francine: I'm telling you, Arthur, we're close. Then you can sleep.

<hr width=50% />
 * Arthur: Great, we spent all that money, and we still don't know what's wrong with her, except she's driving me absolutely busalooney, and you know how much I hate that word!
 * Francine: Arthur, D.W. and I are going to get some ice cream. Why don't you go home?
 * Arthur: What?!
 * Francine: I'm sorry, this is just for girls. See you later.

D.W.'s Name Game [2.19a]

 * D.W.: Mom! Arthur said my head looks like a watermelon except for the bad haircut!
 * Arthur: She started it!
 * Catherine: I can handle it. Have a good time!
 * David: Thanks. Be good, kids!
 * Arthur: She started it.
 * Catherine: I have a lot of homework, so why don't you two go play quietly at opposite ends of the house?
 * D.W.: I ditch my room!
 * Arthur: I wouldn't want to go to your stupid messy girl-room anyway!
 * D.W.: Clammy clam-face!
 * Arthur: Turtle-breath!
 * Catherine: Hey!!
 * D.W.: I don't have turtle-breath! Smell!
 * Catherine: What's going on here?
 * D.W.: He called me turtle-breath!
 * Catherine: Why are you in her room?
 * Arthur: She took my red crayon.
 * D.W.: I had to! It's a castle coloring book! There's a lot of bricks!
 * Catherine: D.W., give him his crayon. Arthur, go back to the den.
 * D.W.: This isn't working because Arthur knows more words than me.

The Chips Are Down [3.5a]

 * D.W.: Arthur, NOOOOO!!
 * Arthur: Hey! Mom, D.W. swiped my chip!

Binky Rules [3.6a]

 * Buster: Wait! This is all wrong! Try it again, pal!

Arthur's Treasure Hunt [3.9a]

 * Jane: After I specifically told you not to. I'm disappointed in you, Arthur. Very disappointed.

The Return of the King [3.9b]

 * Mr. Pryce-Jones: Quick, lads and lasses! V = u + a t. Now!!! [The Lakewood students fall in the mud. Lakewood Students moans. Mr. Pryce-Jones comes up to Mr. Ratburn.] I see they don't know Newton's formula for constant acceleration yet. The clocks are ticking, Ratburn.

Arthur's Almost Live Not Real Music Festival [3.11b]

 * Arthur: So, what did you think?
 * Buster: Pretty good for just two guys in a cardboard TV, huh?
 * D.W.: It was okay for the basement, but it would never work on real TV. [the end title appears] By the way, who's Dewey?

Francine and the Feline [3.13b]

 * Arthur: That's NOT how nice animals play!

Mom and Dad Have a Great Big Fight [3.14a]

 * Jane: Stop that, Arthur!
 * Arthur: What did I do?!

<hr width="50%"/>
 * D.W.: Arthur, this isn't working. I miss Mommy and Daddy.

D.W.'s Perfect Wish [3.14b]

 * Arthur: D.W., did you forget that your birthday's today?
 * D.W.: No. How could I forget about my own birthday? Now leave me peace!
 * Arthur: Aah! How could D.W. not be excited about her birthday?

Arthur and D.W. Clean Up [3.15a]

 * D.W.: I'm drowning! Help me!
 * Mrs. Read: Toys stay out of the cereal, please.
 * Arthur: I'm going to Happy-Crazy-Wow Day with Buster!
 * Mrs. Read: Arthur, you're not going anywhere until you clean your room!
 * Arthur: But I just told Buster and I promised I'd meet him!
 * Mrs. Read: Then you will have to call him back and tell him you will meet him later. You've put this off long enough now. D.W., as soon as you've finished eating, I want you to work on your room too. It's as messy as your brother's.
 * Arthur: But that'll take forever! I'll miss Happy-Crazy-Wow Day!
 * Mr. Read: I have an idea! When I was little and my brother and I had chores to do, we had a saying, many hands make light work.
 * Mrs. Read: Honey, I'm not...
 * Mr. Read: Hear me out on this. In other words, the more hands you had, the easier the work became.
 * Arthur: It does sound kind of cool.
 * Mr. Read: That's the spirit! It'll go more than twice as fast. Trust me. So why don't you start on Arthur's room first? Whoa, whoa, whoa, time out! Do me a favor and just try it. I think you'll be surprised at how well it works.
 * Arthur: Let's do this quick. I'm going to be late.
 * D.W.: Ewww!

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 * D.W.: Ooh! Look what I found!
 * Arthur: Stop looking like that! You can't read!
 * D.W.: I don't have to read to know what this is.
 * Arthur: It's a note from Francine.
 * D.W.: I knew it! Arthur has a girlfriend! Arthur has a girlfriend! "Dear Arthur, I love you."
 * Arthur: It says "Arthur, don't forget to bring your baseball mitt to school on Monday. Francine."
 * D.W.: Arthur and Francine! Arthur loves Francine!
 * Arthur: I'll take care of this stuff. You go clean up from under the bed.
 * D.W.: If you don't love Francine, then why is your face all red? That just proves you really love her! Arthur loves Francine!
 * Arthur: MOM!
 * Mr. Read: I'll take care of it. Look, Arthur, it's very simple: the less time you spend fighting with D.W., the faster you'll get to the park, right?
 * Arthur: But she keeps bothering me!
 * D.W.: Who, me?
 * Mr. Read: Look, if you both work as fast as you can and talk less, you'll be done in no time.
 * Arthur: I will if she will.
 * Mr. Read: There. Now, why not see how fast you can go?

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 * Mr. Read: The important thing is to really try to work together. It's the only way this will work!
 * Arthur: How can we work together when she won't let me put things away?!
 * D.W.: Can I say something?
 * Mrs. Read: Arthur, D.W. helped you clean your room, so now it's up to you to return the favor.
 * D.W.: I have something to say!
 * Arthur: But I'm missing Happy-Crazy-Whatever-It-Is Day!
 * Mr. Read: That's not D.W.'s fault! If you'd cleaned your room when you were supposed to, Arthur, you wouldn't have this problem!

The Long, Dull Winter [3.15b]

 * Francine: Maybe you didn't get it. (sings) ♪ Oh, the weather outside is crummy-- ♪
 * Buster Baxter: Stop singing!

Arthur's Big Hit [4.1b]

 * Francine steps into a boxing ring inside a large stadium. A microphone comes down.
 * Francine: Presenting the main event! The champion, Arthurrrrr Read!
 * Arthur: [walks to the ring while people cheer and throw flowers and climbs into the ring] I've been waiting for this fight for years. There's no way I can lose.
 * Francine: And the challenger, Dora Winifred Read!
 * [D.W. rides down a ramp on her bicycle and does a somersault into the ring. She is wearing a bicycle helmet and has a unicorn on the back of her robe. Buster takes off Arthur’s robe. D.W. takes off hers and reveals a shirt with a picture of Arthur’s head with Xs for eyes. Buster puts Arthur’s gloves on. Nadine waves her wand and gloves appear on D.W.’s hands. Both Arthur and D.W. get mouth guards. Francine waves both to the center of the ring.]
 * Arthur: (incoherent) Prepare to lose!
 * D.W. #1: What?
 * Arthur: (incoherent) I said PREPARE TO LOSE!!!
 * D.W. #1: [points at the subtitles] This doesn't help. I can't read.
 * Francine: Ge-e-et ready to fight!
 * [The two boxers circle each other]
 * D.W. #2: Arthur!
 * Arthur: [sees D.W. sitting in the audience eating snacks] (incoherent) Two D.W.’s?!
 * D.W. #2: No, not two D.W.s. There's only one of me.
 * In the ring, the other boxer takes off a D.W. mask, revealing himself to be Binky. Arthur’s mouthguard drops out of his mouth.
 * Binky: We figured you'd rather fight someone your own size.
 * Arthur: You know. You're right. I would love to fight someone my own size. You wait here. I'll go find someone. [runs off, pursued by Binky, screams]
 * Binky: [enraged] Come back and fight!
 * D.W.: [laughs] Binky?!


 * Arthur sits at his desk with a model kit
 * D.W.: [walks into his room] What kind of a game is that?
 * Arthur: It's not a game. It's a scale model of a Bell X-1 Rocket Plane. The plane that broke the sound barrier.
 * D.W.: The sound barrier must be pretty hard. [takes out some pieces] Because this plane is all smashed up.
 * Arthur: It's not smashed. I'm gonna build it. [angrily screams at D.W. while snatching the pieces from her] Stop touching everything! You'll mix up the pieces!
 * D.W.: I’ve never heard of toys that come already broken.
 * Arthur: [angrily tries to strangle D.W. while glaring at her] No, it's not!
 * D.W.: [backs up from her angrier brother] I'm going. Never say I don't go when you want me to go, because I'm going. Like that. [snaps her fingers] The minute you want me to go, I'm on my way out of here. No waiting.
 * Arthur: [turns red with angriest and screams at D.W.] Go already!
 * D.W.: And if you say please, I go even faster. Because when the...
 * Arthur: [angrily growls at D.W. and kicks her out of his room] Go away!


 * ''The next day, Arthur paints the model in the dining room. D.W. suddenly appears beside him.
 * D.W.: Is that the same broken plane you were fixing yesterday?
 * Arthur: [furiously yells at D.W.] Don't do that! I need to concentrate!
 * D.W.: That's a pretty color. [accidentally spills a paint bottle of orange paint over the building instructions which pisses Arthur off]
 * D.W.: [nervous laugh] Bye!


 * Later, Arthur and Buster walk upstairs
 * Arthur: I've been working the plane all week. It's hard, but I'm almost done. [They enter Arthur’s room and find D.W. holding the plane’s fuselage and Arthur gets pissed off and furiously screams at her] D.W., don't touch that!! The paint isn't dry! [angrily snatches the plane away and sees fingerprints all over it. D.W.’s fingers are colored orange]
 * D.W.: Ew!! [runs out to tell her mom] Mommy, Arthur made my hands orange!
 * Buster: I never thought about it before, but being an only child is nice.


 * Later, Arthur puts the finished model on a stool in his room.
 * Arthur: It's the best thing I've ever made.
 * In his imagination, Arthur sits on a table on a stage. Beside him sits an astronaut.
 * Astronaut: Arthur Read. You win the blue ribbon. [puts the ribbon on the model]
 * Arthur flies the Bell X-1.
 * The fantasy ends
 * Arthur: This calls for a celebration snack! [walks downstairs with Pal]
 * D.W.: [comes out of her room] Did I hear you say cookies? [sees the plane in Arthur’s room and foolishly sneaks inside]
 * Arthur: [gives a dog treat to Pal] Good boy!
 * D.W.: [runs around holding the plane] D.W. Read to headquarters! Sound barrier broken! What's my next mission, General? [sees the open window]
 * Arthur: [pretends to be an airplane, makes airplane noises] Arthur Read, winner of 5000 blue ribbons, requesting landing coordinates! [makes airplane noises]
 * Outside the window, the model plane falls to the ground
 * D.W.: [comes down] Arthur. You made that plane all wrong. It doesn't fly at all.
 * Arthur: No, D.W. I made it exactly ri... [realizes what D.W. said] What?!


 * Outside the house, the sky has become gray.
 * Arthur: [looks up at the open window, then down at his smashed plane, gasps, picks up the broken fuselage and looks shocked and terrified]
 * In his imagination, he flies the plane, but it suddenly falls to pieces. He hovers in midair for a second, then he falls, followed by his helmet and, finally, his glasses.
 * Arthur: [screaming]
 * The fantasy ends
 * D.W.: If it could break the sound barrier, falling out of a window shouldn't be able to break it!
 * Arthur: [angrily confronts D.W.] I told you not to touch it!
 * D.W.: You built it all wrong! Did you even read the directions? [Having enough of D.W., Arthur furiously grits his teeth and really tightly makes a fist] It didn't fly for one second! It's not my fault if you made a plane that can't fly!
 * Arthur: [furiously] I told you... NOT TO TOUCH IT! [angrily punches D.W.]
 * D.W.: [falls down on the ground and runs away, crying in pain]
 * Arthur bends to pick up the plane when he hears his mother
 * Mrs. Read: Arthur Timothy Read, come here!
 * Arthur: [apprehensive] Uh-oh. Middle name. [gets up]


 * D.W.: [cries on the kitchen counter]
 * Her father gets an ice pack from the refrigerator
 * D.W.: [crying] Are they gonna have to "amputake" my arm?
 * Mr. Read: No, honey, it's "amputate," not "amputake."
 * D.W.: [shrieking] They're gonna amputate?!
 * Mr. Read: No. I'm in charge and I'm putting ice on you.
 * D.W.: [screaming and crying]
 * Mr. Read: What's wrong?
 * D.W.: [crying] That's cold!
 * Arthur and his mother stand in the hallway
 * Mrs. Read: Apologize to your sister.
 * Arthur: No way! She should apologize to me! I worked all week on this! I told her a million times not to touch it!
 * Mr. Read carries D.W.
 * D.W.: You're bad!
 * A while later, Arthur sits on a chair in the living room facing his parents
 * Mr. Read: Arthur, this means no TV for a week.
 * Arthur: [dismayed] What?! That is so unfair! [angrily turns away] You don't even care what she did to me!
 * Mrs. Read: We'll deal with what she did, but what you did is wrong, too.
 * Arthur: [angrily huffs]


 * The next morning, Arthur and Buster arrive at school
 * Arthur: [sulking] So I missed Bionic Bunny last night, and I can't watch TV all week! Can you believe that?!
 * Buster: No, I don't believe it. You hit your sister? That's terrible!
 * Arthur: Oh, come on, like you never hit anybody!
 * Buster: Nope.
 * Binky: Did you hear that? Arthur hit his sister! I, for one, am shocked!
 * Dog Boy: How could you be shocked about someone hitting someone?
 * Binky: Why not?
 * Molly: You're Binky Barnes, you always... You know, I can't remember the last time you hit anybody.
 * Binky: Wh-what do you mean? [hears the bell ring] There's the bell! Ha, don't want to be late.


 * The Tough Customers corner Binky at his locker
 * Molly: So, when was it, Bink?
 * Dog Boy: Binky does not have to remind us of his past glorious fights.
 * Binky: That's right.
 * Dog Boy: That he is not afraid of no one is a well-established factoid.
 * Binky: That's right.
 * Dog Boy: And he can prove it easily by socking the very next kid who turns that corner!
 * Binky: That's right. [shocked] What?!
 * Molly: Go ahead, Binky. Sock him!
 * Binky: [stubbornly] Maybe I don't feel like it.
 * Molly: You better feel like it or you're out of the club.
 * Binky: [enraged] I can't be out of the club! It's my club. I founded it!
 * Molly: If you wanted everything your own way, you shouldn't have let anyone else join. The next time you see that kid, you sock him!
 * Binky: [worried] The next time I see Arthur, I have to hit him. Oh, what can I do? [gets an idea] Hey! What if I never see him?


 * Arthur sits in the classroom with Buster, Francine and Muffy. Binky walks into the room while keeping his back turned to Arthur
 * Francine: Arthur, why didn't you just apologize?
 * Arthur: [still pissed off] Oh, come on! She wrecked my plane! Why can't anybody see my side of this?
 * Muffy: Uh, because you're wrong.
 * Francine: [turns to Binky at the next table] Hey, Binky. Did you hear that Arthur hit his little sister?
 * Binky: Well, I haven't seen Arthur. As far as I know, Arthur isn't even here.
 * Francine: Binky is so upset about what Arthur did that he won't even look at him.
 * Class has started
 * Mr. Ratburn: When the day and night are of equal length, it's called the equinox.
 * The bell rings and Binky immediately runs out
 * Molly: You socked that kid yet?
 * Binky: Haven't see him. [walks away] I am so smart.


 * Binky: [waits outside the school cafeteria] Psst. Hey, is Arthur in there?
 * Francine: Yeah.
 * Binky: I'll just eat outside then. [walks away]
 * Francine: Binky won't even eat near Arthur.
 * Buster: That's awful. We should bring them together. Arthur will thank us.
 * Shortly afterwards, Binky is having lunch on the lawn behind the school
 * Buster: [drags Arthur out of the door] Binky's out here somewhere.
 * Binky: Er.. oof! [jumps into a bush]
 * Sue Ellen: I'll get it! Thanks. [stops and comes back] Binky? What are you doing?
 * Binky: Avoiding Arthur. If I don't see him, I don't have to hit him.
 * Sue Ellen: Oh. Why would you want to hit Arthur?
 * Binky: I don't. That's why I don't wanna see him.
 * Sue Ellen: Hmm... Boys. [walks away]


 * Binky: [paces outside the boys’ room] Is Arthur in there?
 * Brain: [shakes his head] No.
 * Binky: [runs in, very relieved] Oh... Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you so much!
 * After recess, the kids come inside
 * Arthur: [talks to Fern] She broke my plane!
 * Fern: But she's just a little girl.
 * Arthur: [angrily] Saying D.W.'s just a little girl is like saying a tornado's just a little wind.
 * Binky is hiding behind an ornamental plant
 * Buster: [stands beside him] Hey, Arthur! Over here!
 * Binky: Shh! [violently grabs Buster and angrily pulls him behind the plant]
 * Arthur: Thought someone called my name.


 * The school bell rings and the kids leave the building
 * Binky: [holds an open book around his head] I made it through one whole day. Now only... the rest of my life to go.
 * Binky, Molly, Rattles and the Dog Boy walk past the Sugar Bowl
 * Binky: So I never saw that glasses kid again. Probably never will.
 * Arthur: [runs after them] Hey, Binky! You dropped your pen when you ran out of school, kind of sideways, at the end of the day.
 * Molly: Here's the chance you've been waiting for.
 * Dog Boy: Show him, Binky! Pop him one!
 * Binky: [evilly looks around at the Tough Customers who grin expectantly and sinisterly looks at Arthur, who holds the pen, and violently hits him in his arm]
 * Arthur: Ow!
 * Molly: Okay, you're right. He will hit anybody.
 * Dog Boy: All right, Binky! You're still in the club! Binky? Where are you going? Hey, Binky!
 * The tough customers run after Binky
 * Arthur: [holds his arm in pain] Ow!


 * Arthur: [holds the ice pack on his arm] And the next thing I knew, I was on the ground. It hurt, and it was embarrassing, and...
 * Mr. Read: Well, maybe that's how D.W. felt when you punched her.
 * Arthur: Maybe. But what's that got to do with this? Binky Barnes is huge!
 * 'Mrs. Read carries D.W. to the kitchen and his parents just look at him
 * Arthur: [calmly] Yeah, I guess I get it.
 * D.W.: [smiles]
 * Arthur: [walks into the dining room where D.W. is waiting] I'm sorry I hit you.
 * D.W.: And I'm sorry I broke your plane. But what kind of a stupid plane doesn't fly?
 * Arthur: A model plane.
 * D.W.: Well, I didn't know. I'm just a child. Give me a break!
 * At the park, Binky lies on a swing looking depressed. Arthur rides by on his bike
 * Binky: Arthur! Hey, I feel rotten. I want to apologize.
 * Arthur: I just wanna thank you.
 * Binky: [gets up] You... you what?
 * Arthur: Everybody told me I was wrong and I didn't get it. [feels his balls] But... you made me understand how bad I made D.W. feel.
 * Binky: Well, you're welcome. But I wouldn't try to help you learn some boring lesson. It was an accident.
 * The other Tough Customers come
 * Dog Boy: [points to Arthur] It's the kid who got hit by Binky and lived.
 * Molly: You deserve to be in our club, kid.
 * Binky: [walks to Tough Customers] There is no club. I founded it and I'm de-founding it. Any club that makes you want do something you don't wanna do is dumb. Anybody want to make something of it?
 * Dog Boy: Um, no.
 * Binky: Come on, Arthur. Let's go get a soda.
 * Molly: Aw, man. Now we’ve got no club.
 * Binky: [walks up to them] You guys wanna come with us? How about we form a new club with no dumb hitting and stuff? And if anybody breaks that rule, I'll clobber 'em.

The Contest [4.4a]

 * Muffy: We could write about things that really happened to us.
 * Francine: There's only one problem. Nothing's ever happened to us. They start walking home.
 * Arthur: Are you kidding? What about when we first had Mr. Ratburn? We thought he was a monster.
 * Buster: Right. Or when I moved away.
 * Francine: I guess you could do something about when I taught Arthur to play baseball.

The Blizzard [4.5a]

 * Mr. Ratburn: [enters the classroom] Sorry, I'm late. Let's jump right into work.
 * [Just then, the lights in the classroom go out]
 * Mr. Haney: Bad news! The storm is getting worse, the buildings lost electricity, so the school is closed.
 * [Mr. Ratburn gasps while the class cheer]

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 * Oliver: I tried all night, but the plower's stuck. None of the roads can get plowed now.
 * Francine: Daddy, look! It's too cold to write. I have to stop doing my report.

The Rat Who Came to Dinner [4.5b]

 * Arthur: Good night, Mom! Good night, Dad!
 * Mr. and Mrs. Read: Good night, Arthur!
 * Arthur: Good night, Mr. Ratburn!
 * Mr. Ratburn: Good night, Arthur! Good night, D.W.!
 * D.W.: Good night, Mr. Ragberp!
 * Arthur: Good night, Pal!
 * [Pal barks "good night"]
 * Mr. Ratburn: Good night, Pal! Will there be more cake tomorrow?

To Beat or Not to Beat [4.7b]

 * Muffy: [shocked and plugged the ears] What in the world is that?! Turn it off!

That's A Baby Show [4.10b]

 * Arthur: Mom says I'm watching the Dark Bunny after your baby show ends!
 * D.W.: Mary Moo Cow is not a baby show!

The World Record [5.4a]

 * D.W.: Mom, Arthur's bothering me!!

You Are Arthur [5.5b]

 * D.W.: (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17,) 18, 19, 20, 20, 20.
 * Arthur: You've already said 20!

The Election [5.6a]

 * Muffy: Security, take him away.

Francine Goes to War [5.6b]

 * Oliver: [Long pause; Francine presses the button on the TV remote and Oliver blocks the view of the TV] [sternly] Francine!
 * Francine: Okay, okay. I know I shouldn't have, but she started it. She complained about my playing drums and she was banging on my wall and…
 * Oliver: Francine Frensky. I don't care if Mrs. Pariso threw a water balloon at you. She is an elderly lady and you will treat her with respect.
 * Francine: But…
 * Oliver: No buts! You're grounded for 2 days.
 * Francine: [sulks] Great.

Sleep No More [5.7a]

 * Arthur: Hello, today as a special treat, my esteemed colleague, Professor Baxter, is going to speak to us about a subject he knows all about.

Pet Peeved [5.7b]

 * Binky: Nemo, stop that scratching. Nemo, please stop that. Nemo! Stop that! Thank you.

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 * Francine: [angrily] You were supposed to wake me up! I gave you specific instructions! Great, now I'm late; no food for you today, Nemo! Now clean this floor, I want it to shine! Come on, Nemo, clean! Pull! Let's go, Nemo, move it!

The Last of Mary Moo Cow [5.8a]

 * Mary Moo Cow: [singing] Oh, D.W., oh, D.W., I love you.
 * D.W.: Really, Moo?
 * Mary Moo Cow: There is no one smarter.
 * D.W.: Yeah, tell that to Arthur!
 * Mary Moo Cow: Arthur? Bleh!

For Whom the Bell Tolls [6.8b]

 * Dark Bunny: Did I hear that correctly? She lost her voice? Hoo-wee!

Crushed [6.9b]

 * Arthur: Stop! Cut! No more! You were going to tell them?!
 * Buster: Well, yeah. It makes a good song.

April 9th [7.10]

 * Binky: [reading] What I did was dumb and dangerous. It was also mean to all the Mighty Mountain kids who had been really nice to me. I'm very sorry and I'll never pull the fire alarm when there isn't a fire again. The end.
 * Mr. Haney: I'm glad you understand the seriousness of this offense, Binky. But I have to admit, I'm still baffled. Why did you do it?
 * Binky: I dunno...
 * Mr. Haney: Maybe you should talk to the school counselor about this.
 * Binky: But I said I was sorry! Can't you just punish me now?
 * Mr. Haney: Normally, you'd be suspended for something like this. But because of the circumstances, I have something else in mind.

Vomitrocious! [8.5a]

 * At the lunch line at school Arthur is served a yellow sauce
 * Muffy: Eww! That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my life! [opens an ornate lunchbox] Luckily our chef prepared my lunch at home for me.
 * Francine: What a lightweight! There are a lot more disgusting things than Salisbury steak!
 * Sue Ellen: Yeah, smelly socks!
 * Arthur: Baby diapers.
 * Buster: Cat whiskers!
 * Francine and Sue Ellen: Cat whiskers??
 * Buster: Ugh!
 * The kids sit down at tables
 * Francine: You wanna know what's really, really disgusting?
 * George: [comes by with a nosebleed] Er, does anybody have a tissue?
 * Kids: Eww!
 * Francine: [fakes a nosebleed] Hey, can someone help me? I need to bleed all over you!
 * Kids: [laughing]
 * George: What? It's just a bloody nose. I can't help it.
 * Francine: I wanna bleed all over your food! [squirts ketchup on the table]
 * Muffy: Stop, you're getting it on my foie gras!
 * Sue Ellen hands George a paper handkerchief
 * George: Thank you. [walks past Francine]
 * Prunella: You sound just like him!
 * Muffy: You're so funny, Francine. Do some more!
 * Francine: I...just need to, er...contaminate you. Let me wipe...my...nose... [turns green and holds her hand in front of her mouth]
 * Muffy: [looks shocked and gasps]
 * Francine: [manages to walk a few steps towards the door, then she throws up] Bleurgghhh!
 * The three kids at the table nearby table run away from the scene in shock
 * Kids: Eww!
 * The other kids move away from her

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 * (In the cafeteria, Mrs. MacGrady opens a window, Mr. Ratburn sprays room freshener and Mr. Morris mops the floor. The kids all sit on one end of the room. Meanwhile, Francine lies in the nurse’s room on a couch with a cold towel on her forehead and with a thermometer in her mouth and pauses for a moment. The nurse takes her temperature.)
 * Ms. Flynn (Nurse): Okay, your temperature is fine and your pulse is fine. You probably just have the 24-hour bug that's been going around.
 * Francine: What about food poisoning?
 * Ms. Flynn: If you had food poisoning, you'd know it. You'd barely be able to move.
 * Mrs. Frensky: [comes in]
 * Francine: It's all right, Mom. I just puked, that's all. In front of the whole school. [buries her face in her hands as her mother comforts her and sees several kids at the window]
 * Prunella: Ahem!
 * Francine: [turns red in anger] Grrr!
 * Kids: [gasps and scatter]

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 * Nigel Ratburn: Stop it, all of you! You should be ashamed of yourselves. Come with me, Miss Frensky. (Mr. Ratburn leads Francine into a metal room and closes a strong metal door behind her.) You'll feel much more at home in here, I think. (He locks the quarantine room door with George.)

Desk Wars [8.7a]

 * Mr. Haney: What in Aunt Betsy is going on here?! [kids complaining/stammers] Quiet everybody! Now since this class is normally a well-behaved group of children, I'm going to give you an opportunity to work together to clean up this mess. But if you don't, you'll all be staying after school and I'll help you work it out. I'll be back. [He closes the door and sees the moldy sandwich stuck to it.] Yuck.

Kiss and Tell [8.9b]

 * D.W.: Arthur, I need your help! What can you tell me about kissing?
 * Arthur: What? Nothing!
 * D.W.: C'mon, you must know something about the birds in the trees. Like, how can I get a boy to kiss me?
 * Arthur: I don't know! Ask mom. I'm doing homework.
 * D.W.: Oh! You're no help. [finds a book on the ground of two people kissing] Aha! You do to know something about kissing. You have a book all about it.
 * Arthur: This is the story of Romeo and Juliet, D. W.. It's based on a play by William Shakespeare. We're reading it in school.
 * D.W.: And? what's it about?
 * Arthur: [sighs] If I tell you, do you promise to leave me alone? [D. W. nods] Okay. [starts talking fast] There's this boy named Romeo and this girl named Juliet and their parents don't like each other, but they fall in love anyway and plan to run away together, but there's a misunderstanding and it all ends badly. The end.
 * D.W.: Where's the kissing part?

Big Horns George [8.10a]

 * Binky: Pitch up! Sorry. Wow! Nice guitar. Can I see?

Bleep! [8.10b]

 * Arthur: And best of all, the bleep could be used when your mom and dad are going to visit your school and (bleep) (The bleep does not stop.) Huh?! Hey, what's going on?! Stop it! Stop!!!!!

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 * Mother: Stop that! You'll break something.
 * Boy: Whatever.
 * Mother: That's enough back talk, young man. You can forget about going to that concert tonight.
 * Boy: What?! You can't do that!
 * Mother: I can, and I have!
 * Boy: >BLEEP<
 * Mother: [gasps then drops the cup and smashes it as D.W. laughs]
 * Grandma Thora: Come on, D.W., I'm done.

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 * D.W.: Okay. [deep breath] >BLEEP< [Jane, David, Arthur gasp]

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 * Mrs. Read: Dora Winifred Read, what did you just say to me?!
 * D.W.: Uh... Can I have a soda? Tibbles!
 * Mrs. Read: What are you doing?!
 * D.W.: I'll get it! Uh, Arthur did it?
 * Mrs. Read: Well, D.W., you're off the hook this time, because you didn't know what you were saying. But I hope you know now that swear words are not appropriate, especially for 5-year-old children.
 * D.W.: Why?
 * Mrs. Read: Because most people are offended by them. It's as simple as that.
 * D.W.: But why? What do they mean?
 * Mrs. Read: I guess you could say they mean "I want to hurt your feelings". Good night, D.W.
 * D.W.: Why didn't somebody tell me that in the first place?

A is for Angry [9.7b]

 * Arthur: And then... then... [he grunts and roars looks like a Shrek, then chokes and walks away and kids Saying]
 * Francine: What was that?!
 * Arthur (Sighs): Will you just get off my back?!
 * Francine: Why are you angry at us?! We're the ones who've been supporting you.
 * Muffy: Yeah! There are lots of other average kids we could have picked for this.
 * Arthur: Well, thanks for your help, but I think it's better if I just do this on my own. [He leaves. Francine and Muffy exchange looks.]

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 * Arthur: What are you guys doing?!
 * Francine: Why do you ask? Because you're angry?
 * Muffy: Angry!
 * Arthur: I'm not angry!
 * Francine: Well, what would you call it?
 * Binky: Angry.
 * George: Please don't hurt me!
 * Arthur: And stop passing these out! I told you yesterday, I don't want any more pep rallies!
 * Francine: Don't worry, Mr. Hyde, it's not for you!
 * Arthur: "A is for angry. B is for brains. Pep rally for Brain before the game"? I thought you said he was conceited?!
 * Muffy: Wow, angry and mean! I think you need to chill out!
 * Arthur: Why are you doing this? Is it because I asked you guys to leave me alone yesterday?
 * Francine: If you call what you did asking. Brain may seem conceited, but at least he's nice.
 * Muffy: We just care about the integrity of checkers.
 * [Arthur roars angrily looks like a Shrek again and the kids run away]
 * Binky: Hey, man, I wanna congratulate you. It took me years to get scary. You did it overnight!

Happy Anniversary [10.1]

 * Arthur (as Kid Carter): Oh no! The Burlap Brothers have sealed us in. I’ve nuttin’ to do now but sing (D.W. (as Mistral): No!) and bide our time. (singing while playing strums the guitar) And there we were stuck in a mine Just a matter of time before we’re cryin' (yodels)
 * D.W. (as Mistral): [takes his guitar away] Quit your crooning, Kid! We gotta get out of here! We have no food, no water, we could even run out of air! (gasps for breath)

The Squirrels [10.2a]

 * Jane: Shoo, shoo, out of the house, back to the trees!

Feeling Flush [10.4a]

 * Francine: (offscreen) 3,600 liters a day? What happens if the number just keeps rising? (It cuts to Francine, singing in the shower.) Not the 10:05 but the midnight train!? (She uses a brush to pound on the shower.)</span style="color:blue">
 * Catherine: (offscreen) You've done it now, Francine. You just used all the water in Elwood City.
 * Francine: (She's gasping.) Oh, no! But Muffy's birthday pool party was today. (It cut to Francine outside, running down, panting.)
 * Binky: Spare any water, sir?

Operation: D.W.! [10.8b]

 * Morgan: Ready for your "listening ears" operation?
 * D.W.: Um, I'm not sure.
 * Tommy: We'd better check her bravery levels first. Lie down in the Brave-O-Scope, D.W.
 * ''[they lie D.W. down on a conveyor belt, checking D.W. on the screen]
 * Morgan: Oh, my!
 * D.W.: [off screen] What? What's wrong?
 * Morgan: I've never seen anything like it!
 * Timmy: She has no bravery at all, not a single speck!
 * Morgan: [gasps] Poor D.W.! She'll probably never be able to swim without water wings!

The Making of Arthur [11.6a]

 * Arthur: CUT! DW, you ruined the shot! Now we have to start all over!

Francine's Pilfered Paper [11.8a]

 * Catherine: [offscreen, calls Francine] Hey squirt, come here!
 * ''[Francine stands up off of the sofa and walks to her and Catherine's room]
 * Catherine: I was online and found some stuff you might want to use for your paper.
 * Francine: Oh thanks, but I finished it already. [looks at the printed article in surprise] Hey, this is my paper!
 * Catherine: You mean, you already used some of this information?
 * Francine: I used the whole thing. It was perfect for the topic. So I cut and pasted it into a new document and added a title.
 * Catherine: [disappointed] Francine, you CAN'T do that!
 * Francine: Why not?
 * Catherine: Because that's PLAGIARISM, that's why.
 * Francine: No, it isn't. It's called finishing your work early, so you can enjoy Thanksgiving. [worried] What's "plagiarism"?
 * Catherine: [picks up the printed article] It's when you take someone else's work and claim it's your own. It's basically STEALING.
 * Francine: But I already handed it in. So, you think I can get an "F"?
 * Catherine: Worse! You could be SUSPENDED.
 * Francine: Huh?
 * Oliver: [offscreen, from the kitchen] Kids! Dinner's ready!
 * Catherine: [whispers] You have to tell Ratburn!

Is That Kosher? [12.1a]

 * Bubby: What's wrong? You look terrible! Are you sick? I'll go get a thermometer (in her mouth.)

Never, Never, Never [12.1b]
D.W. (Laughing) Okay, Tibbles You Get To Have Some Spaghetti.

Room to Ride [12.2a]
''Arthur: [on screen] Oh Hola This is Arthur Read Live from the Sugar Bowl Francine has Been discovering that helping brain is learning is abc's Jane: Dad what is that on the TV

The Frensky Family Fiasco [12.2b]

 * [The episode starts with the opening theme, except with Francine in place of Arthur.]
 * Theme Song: "Everyday when you're walking down the street, and everybody that you meet has an original point of view. And I say..."
 * Jane: [off-screen] Arthur, my opening of the show!
 * Arthur: Hey, what's going on?! Stop the show! Francine, what are you doing?! (This is my Pal! It's mine!)
 * Francine: Relax! Everything's under control. START TO MUSIC AGAIN!?
 * David: [off-screen; sternly] Arthur?!
 * Theme Song: "Everyday when you're walking down the street..."
 * Arthur: NO! CUT! STOP! You can't do the opening of the show!
 * Francine: Why not?! (jumps off the template) Why do you get to do every show opening? Let someone else do it.
 * D.W.: She's right. And we should change the name of the show. Arthur's too long. How about D.W.?

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 * Francine: Exactly! That's why I'm proposing the Frensky Family Night. One night a week we'll eat together, talk, and do something fun. How about Tuesdays?
 * Oliver: Works for me.

Season 16
Based On a True Story All About D.W. Blockheads Flippity Francine Muffy Takes The Wheel Get Smart Baby Steps Night Of The Tibble Read and Flubbergast Fern and The Case Of The Stolen Story Sue Ellen Veggies Out So Funny I Forgot To Laugh The Best Day Ever The Last Tough Costumer Brain's Biggest Blunder Buster's Book Battle On The Buster Scale Baseball Blues Brain's Chess Mess

Staycation [18.6b]

 * Arthur: Wait! You didn't want them to go on vacation and now you're sad they can't?
 * D.W.: Yeah. Didn't you see Mom's face? I thought she was going to cry. (A thought bubble with Mrs. Read appears.)
 * Mrs. Read (in bubble): (cries)
 * (The bubble disappears. A swarm of birds flies past the window.)
 * D.W.: I guess parents really do need a break sometimes - especially from you.
 * Arthur: I wonder if there's some way we could fix this?

All Grown Up [25.4b]

 * Adult Arthur: [last lines] "Chapter 1: How I got my very first pair of glasses…" [The series ends]

Website Promos
From Seasons 1-3
 * "Mom": Check out Arthur online at www.pbs.org. Remember, you can find Arthur books and lots of other books, too, at your local library.

From Season 4
 * "Mom": Check out Arthur online at pbskids.org. Remember, you can find Arthur books and lots of other books, too, at your local library.

From Seasons 5-6
 * D.W.: Visit us online at pbskids.org or America Online Keyword: PBS KIDS. You can find Arthur books and lots of other books, too, at your local library.

From Seasons 7-8
 * D.W.: Visit us online at pbskids.org or America Online Keyword: PBS KIDS. You can find Arthur books and lots of other books, too, at your local library.

From Seasons 9-12
 * D.W.: Visit us online at pbskidsgo.org. You can find Arthur books and lots of other books, too, at your local library.

From Seasons 13-15
 * D.W.: To watch more Arthur and play games with all the Elwood City friends, visit pbskidsgo.org. You can find Arthur books and lots of other books, too, at your local library.

From Seasons 16-17
 * Arthur: To watch more Arthur and play games with all the Elwood City friends, visit pbskids.org. You can find Arthur books and lots of other books, too, at your local library.

From Seasons 18-25
 * Buster: To watch more Arthur and play games with all the Elwood City friends, visit pbskids.org. You can find Arthur books and lots of other books, too, at your local library.

Arthur: It's Only Rock and Roll

 * Francine: What are you doing?! You have to stop listening to this rot. It's destroying your brain!
 * Muffy: WHAT?!? Are you talking about the Backstreet Boys, the ones who are coming to town in four weeks, six days, and fifty- (looks at watch.) seven minutes?
 * Francine: Uh-huh. Rot. Maybe they were good once, but now they're just sellouts. (holding a remote to mute the audio.) Look at them!
 * Muffy: I know. Aren't they cute?

An Arthur Thanksgiving

 * David: [pauses; Pal trying to eat Brussels sprouts] Pal, no!
 * Arthur: [to Pal] Down, boy!

Featured Cast

 * Michael Yarmush - Arthur (Seasons 1-5, Arthur's Perfect Christmas)
 * Justin Bradley - Arthur (Season 6)
 * Mark Rendall - Arthur (Seasons 7, 8)
 * Cameron Ansell - Arthur (Seasons 9-11)
 * Dallas Jokic - Arthur (Seasons 12-15)
 * Drew Adkins - Arthur (Seasons 16, 17)
 * William Healy - Arthur (Seasons 18, 19)
 * Jacob Ursomarzo - Arthur (Seasons 20, 21)
 * Roman Lutterotti - Arthur (Seasons 22-25)