B*A*P*S

B*A*P*S is a 1997 comedy film about two tacky homegirls who move to L.A. to become dancers; instead they scam a dying millionaire but eventually become B*A*P*S (Black American Princesses).
 * Directed by Robert Townsend. Written by Troy Byer.

'''These Pretty Women... Are Clueless!'''

Mickey

 * My food is created to nourish the soul, okay? I haven't used pork since Thelma was on Good Times about to marry Ibe, the African prince and I said, "No, no, no, I'm waiting on my African prince to be my baby's daddy, so I stopped use pork, because I started using chicken broth! So I don't know what you're talking about." See what I cook is much healthier than that *bird* stuff Alfred is cookin' for him!"


 * ...A-re-ah-der-chee to you too... and some mozzerella and fettichinni... Hell yea!

Dialogue

 * Nate: Now why did you have to burn my toast, baby?
 * Nisi: Now you know said you wanted everything well done.


 * Isaac: I'm calling the police. You two have been stealing - from my uncle.
 * Manley: No... The girls had nothing to do with it. [looks at Antonio] It was Antonio.
 * Isaac: Antonio...
 * Antonio: Isaac, our plan could still work! It could be our words against theirs. Her fingerprints are still on the safe, man!
 * Isaac: I don't know what you're talking about! What plan? I'm calling the police...


 * [looking up at painting on a wall]
 * James: Now, look at the picture! Look at the picture! Who does this picture remind you of?
 * James and Ali: Laquisha Jenkins!
 * Ali: UGGH... THAT'S NASTY!


 * Nisi: You remember when we took those CPR classes?
 * Mickey: Yeah - All the cute guys were in there.
 * Nisi: Didn't you learn anything?
 * Mickey: No... But I met James.
 * Nisi: Shh... we gonna check his heart to see if it's still beating... Go on. Check it.
 * Mickey: You check it.
 * Nisi: You check it.
 * Mickey: You check it...
 * Nisi: YOU CHECK IT! It's on yo side!
 * Mickey: [Mickey laid her head against Mr. B's neck to see if he was still alive] He's alive!
 * Nisi: I'm going to bed!
 * Mickey: Nisi? Nisi? Nisi!


 * Nisi: Now at the audition I didn't do the best I could...
 * Heavy D: Hey! Ain't you that girl that hit the other girl in the face with your hair?
 * Nisi: Uh huh...
 * Heavy D: Oh no... I seen all you can do, Hon...
 * Mickey: Naw, naw. She can really dance...
 * Heavy D: No, I seen all you could do - you could hurt somebody
 * Mickey: No, she can dance and I'm the next Monifa
 * Nisi: She is!
 * Heavy D: Oh - you the next Monifa?
 * Mickey: Yea... look here - This the "Mickey remix..." Check this out... IT'S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE YOU BEEN GO-ONE... FEELS GOOD WHEN I'M WITH-CHU... I MISS YOU COME BACK HOME...


 * Mickey: You think Ali and James miss us?
 * Nisi: I don't know, but I know I miss my man...
 * Mickey: Uh uh... you NEED to scoot over cause I ain't got no problem sleepin' on this expensive white carpet, cause I know it's poodle hair.


 * James: See you deserve this kinda stuff... [hanging head to "cry"] but I just can't give it to you... You deserve nice stuff... You deserve a big ol' house... and you - you deserve your own back yard... and - and everyone else got a - a little white dog, why you can have one? I wanna take you out to dinner... everytime we go out, we gotta watch - other people eat... HELL I wanna eat too! And - and you need some clothes... W-w-why should you have to wear your Sunday clothes on Wednesday? Now look girl... don't think a dude a punk cause he crying like a little girl - but you my queen... and I Lah-Love you!
 * Mickey: Oh James you ain't never said nothin' like this... Don't said it if you don't mean it!
 * [knocks James into a fountain]
 * James: I MEAN IIIIIIIIIIIIT!

Cast

 * Halle Berry - Denise “Nisi”
 * Martin Landau - Mr. Donald Blakemore
 * Ian Richardson - Mr. Manley
 * Natalie Desselle-Reid - Tamika “Mickey”
 * Troy Byer - Tracy Shaw
 * Luigi Amodeo - Antonio
 * Jonathan Fried - Isaac
 * Pierre Edwards - Ali
 * A.J. Johnson - James
 * Bernie Mac - Mr. Johnson
 * Faizon Love - Tiger J
 * Rudy Ray Moore - Nate
 * LL Cool J as himself, cameo
 * Howard Hewett - himself, cameo
 * Leon Robinson - himself, cameo
 * Heavy D - himself, cameo
 * Dennis Rodman - himself, cameo