Babylon (film)

Babylon is a 2022 American semi-fictional historical drama comedy film of a tale of outsized ambition and outrageous excess, it traces the rise and fall of multiple characters during an era of unbridled decadence and depravity in 1920s Hollywood.''
 * Directed and written by Damien Chazelle.

Always make a scene. Taglines

Elinor St. John

 * In a hundred years, when you and I are both long gone, any time someone threads a frame of yours through a sprocket, you will be alive again. You see what that means? One day, every person on every film shot this year will be dead. And one day, all those films will be pulled from the vaults, and all their ghosts will dine together, and adventure together, go to the jungle, to war together. A child born in 50 years will stumble across your image flickering on a screen and feel he knows you, like... like a friend, though you breathed your last before he breathed his first. You've been given a gift. Be grateful. Your time today is through, but you'll spend eternity with angels and ghosts.
 * Marbled meadows metamorphose into the medieval plains of Iberia. Soldiers swarm the fields like flecks of paint from a madman's brush as your humble servant bears witness to the latest of the moving picture's magic tricks. - - Oh, why do I bother? Look at these idiots! I knew Proust, you know.
 * And this boy, who breathed his first decades after you breathed your last, will look at your image and think he's found a friend.
 * When in doubt, say something in French.
 * There is no why. It wasn't your voice. It wasn't a conspiracy. And it certainly wasn't anything I wrote. There's nothing you could have done differently. There's nothing you can do. Your time has run out. There is no why. Stop questioning it.
 * So, upstairs is where Don keeps his underage girls, then?
 * Never have I seen such a maelstrom of bad taste and sheer magic.
 * Ordinary and uncool as she may be, there's something about her that speaks to us in a language as vital and as pressing as life itself. Never have I seen such a mess of a bad taste and sheer magic. Your humble servant bares witness... just killed our grandmothers, and we thank her for it.
 * There is no why. [Yoda!]

Nellie LaRoy

 * Honey, you don't become a star. Either you are one or you ain't. I am.
 * It's written in the stars. I am a star.
 * I hate when people put fucking toppings on ice cream. Doesn't need it. It messes up a good thing. You know what I mean? I fucking hate that. God, I've never done nothing except disappoint people my whole life. Teachers told me I was no good. Boys told me I was no good. Every fucking casting director in the city told me I was too short or I was too fat. Usually I was too fat. You know, my mama actually had some fat years too. You wouldn't know it now, looking at her, but she did. They fucked up with me, Manny. They really fucked up with me. 'Cause I make 'em squirm. And I like making 'em squirm. Let 'em know that I got here on my terms, not theirs. And when I'm done, I'm gonna dance my ass off into the night. And they'll know - everyone will fucking know that they could never control one goddamn fucking thing. Do you like ice cream?
 * Hello, college!
 * You know, "Roy," actually, in French, means "king." And I added the "La," so it's "Nellie the King." I made that up.
 * Don't "Nellie baby" me, you six foot fucking vagina!
 * They said if I don't have the money in a week, they'll pour acid on my pussy!
 * Party time, sparkle cocks!
 * What a nice man. I wonder if he's single.
 * Now I do apologize, but I must resign briefly to the powder room. I shan't be long. Ta-ta!
 * Manny... this is the end of the road for me.
 * It'll be like nothing they've ever seen!
 * Hot damn! Jack Conrad? You are even more fuckable in person.
 * Oh, I'm no good for you!
 * Chaplin is hung for sure, but Gary Cooper. Gary Cooper is a fucking horse! He's also a fucking pussy. All that cock, no balls. A shame. What are the schlongs like on Broadway?
 * Oh, if they could see me now! All the cunts in Lafayette called me the ugliest mutt in the neighborhood. Well, let them see me now!
 * Hey, you two with the camera! Do you know who I am? I'm Nellie LaRoy, bitches.
 * Suck a dick, Señor Avocado.
 * Well, that was a waste of time!
 * I ain't a fucking pussy!

Otto

 * Okay, remember, you're a sad lonely man and no one will ever love you!

Extra

 * That's the cocksucker they sent here to screw us!

James McKay

 * Welcome to the asshole of Los Angeles!
 * What... the fuck?
 * Incredible, isn't he? You either are a star or you aren't. And he is!
 * Ah, you came through. That's the main thing.
 * We were going to make movies together!
 * I was thinking, you make a movie about him, and in it, you make him full-fledged retard.

Bob Levine

 * [Pointing at Nellie dancing] Her! Whoever she is.
 * You! I've been looking all over for you. We got a serious fucking situation.
 * The Jersey thing doesn't work anymore. Today's audiences find her pornographic. She's been hanging around Jim McKay's casinos like a half-wit. She owes gambling debts all over town. And she sounds like a donkey.

Lady Fay Zhu

 * [On Nellie] Do you think she swings both ways?
 * [Singing] There's one pet I like to pet. Every evening we get set. I stroke it. Every chance I get. It's my girl's. Pussy. Seldom plays and never purrs. And I love. The thoughts it stirs. But I don't mind. Because it's hers. It's my girl's pussy. 'Cause I'll do anything. For my sweet pet. She works me to a sweat. And that's hard to do. I must first. Remove my gloves. When stroking my girl's. Pussy.
 * [Singing] There's a pet I like to pet...
 * Do you think she swings both ways?

Ruth Adler

 * [To an actress on set] Is that gum? Are you fucking kidding me? What's wrong with you? [Actress opens mouth and Ruth takes it with bare hand]

Sidney Palmer

 * I think you've got the cameras pointing in the wrong direction.

Jack Conrad

 * I had a good run, didn't I?
 * And then he says: "Frankly Scarlett, you're a cunt." Type it.
 * [News of George's suicide] He was the first guy to say I had talent. He saved my life.
 * I'm not asking you to fuck him, just make him feel special.
 * Hola, Carmelita! [Turns to his fiancée Estelle] I have no idea who that was.
 * [Over the phone to Manny] Don't say a word. I'm happy for you. You deserve this. Now go and show those fat fucks how it's done!
 * You know what we gotta do? We gotta redefine the form. The man who puts gasoline in your tank goes to the movies why? Why? Why? Because he feels less alone there. Don't we owe him more than the same old shit? You got the guys in Europe with the twelve-tone. You got Bauhaus architecture. Fucking Bauhaus, you know? And we're still doing costume pictures? It's the dinosaurs, kid. It's the ones who go to Beverly Hills for meatballs and mint juleps to reminisce about the old days, when they can't see there's so much more to be done! We've got to innovate. We've got to inspire. We got to dream beyond these pesky shells of flesh and bone. Map those dreams onto celluloid and print them into history. Turn today into tomorrow so that tomorrow's lonely man may look up at that flickering screen and say for the very first time, "Eureka! I am not alone!" Yeah.
 * Manuel's great!
 * [Olga has him at gunpoint] Is this about Greta? You know she's just a friend!
 * Noah's Ark, why? Because it's raining so much?
 * So, do you like warm syrup or do you let the pancakes do that?
 * Did you know Michelangelo painted the entire Sistine Chapel on his back?
 * This is not a low art!
 * My last idea is the best.

Dale

 * Who sneezed?! Who the fuck sneezed?! [Walks up to crew man] Kike-nosed, hymie-hole piece of mongoloid shit! I see you! Oh, I see you right there you little shylock dickface! Wipe your nose again! Wipe your little hook nose again, you menorah motherfucker! [Walks back to stage] Now, does anybody else here need to sneeze?! Huh?! Does anyone here need to fuck this scene in the ass again?! Camera! And sound!

Manny Torres

 * Morphine, opium, ether, heroin, coke. And Louis XIV sat on that.
 * Today's white audiences want Negroes in their pictures. Negro music, Negro voices.
 * [On the phone, after seeing "The Jazz Singer"] Jack? It's Manny. Everything's about to change.
 * [To Nellie] I've always helped you. And all you've done is break my heart!
 * There's a new sensibility now. People care about morals.
 * [Stuck in the catacombs] It's getting really late.

Driver (Wallach's Party)

 * Sir, George won't come out of the car. He's insisting I drive him off the nearest cliff.
 * Oh God, please forgive us! You sent us this beautiful light and we're squandering it!
 * This is when you kiss the apparition.

Robert Roy

 * First you have to assume the pose of the mongoose!
 * Nellie dresses low 'cause Nellie is low. Now, let me tell you about the time I fought a rattlesnake.
 * We'll serve sandwiches in the shape of her face!

Orville Pickwick

 * [After Jane Thornton overdoses on cocaine] Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

Betty Boop

 * Dabadabadabadabadab said the Monkey to the Chimp!

Writer (Jack's Tent)

 * It was brillig, and the slithy toves...

Jimmy

 * Never talk to Elinor! Pretend you can't speak English!

Police Officer

 * So, we're talking an elephant, plus Garbo, plus others tonight at Don Wallach's house, is that right?

Dialogue

 * Jack Conrad: [Finds George crying with his head in the toilet] Aw, Georgie. Who was it this time?
 * George Munn: [Panting] Claire.
 * Jack Conrad: Claire. Well, Claire's a lesbian. That's an uphill battle for anyone.


 * Ruth Adler: How do you do it? Just tear up over and over like it's nothing?
 * Nellie LaRoy: I just think of home.


 * Jack Conrad: Elinor, you peddle gossip. You don't make anything. You don't know what it is to put yourself out there. You're just a cockroach. I've been counted out before. This isn't new to me.
 * Elinor St. John: Have you ever stopped to think why, when there's a house fire, the people die and the cockroaches all survive?
 * Jack Conrad: Jesus Christ.
 * Elinor St. John: What happened was you thought the house needed you. It doesn't. Doesn't need you any more than it needs the roaches. And the roaches, knowing this, crawl back into the dark, lay low, and make it through. See, but you, you held the spotlight. It's those of us in the dark, the ones who just watch, who survive.


 * Ruth Adler: Man number three, I can see your erection.
 * Max (Ruth's Assistant Director): All right, tuck it. Just tuck it up.


 * Jack Conrad: You ever been on a movie set before?
 * Manny Torres: No.
 * Jack Conrad: You'll see. It's the most magical place in the world.
 * Manny Torres: Eso dicen.


 * Lady Fay Zhu: You okay, sweetie?
 * Jack Conrad: [long pause] It was the most magical place in the world, wasn't it?
 * Lady Fay Zhu: It was.
 * Jack Conrad: Another set, another review. Another romance, another breakup. I'm tired, Fay. [Long pause] It's okay. [Clicks tongue] It's okay. I've been the luckiest bastard in the world. I had a good run, didn't I? Hmm?
 * Lady Fay Zhu: You sure did.
 * Jack Conrad: Yeah. I enjoyed that.


 * Ruth Adler: Just, uh, shoot the men.
 * Max (Ruth's Assistant Director): No tits?
 * Ruth Adler: No tits.
 * Max (Ruth's Assistant Director): All right, no tits, everybody! We're shooting the men.


 * Jack Conrad: It's not a low art, you know. I want you to know that. What I do means something to millions of people. My folks didn't have the money or the education to go to the theater, so they went to the vaudeville houses, and then the nickelodeons. And you know what? There's beauty there. What happens up on that screen means something. Maybe not to you in your ivory tower. But for real people on the ground, it means something.
 * Estelle: Jack, I - I have no idea what you're talking about.
 * Jack Conrad: Of course you don't. Of course you don't! A hundred thousand people see you on Broadway, and it's the smash of the century, right? Well, here it's a flop! A fucking flop! So do me a favor, darling. Save your subtext recommendations for your pretentious Eugene O'Neill-Henrik Ibsen jerk-offs that only a handful of rich geriatrics give two fucks about, and I'll do what I do - without your help!


 * Ruth Adler: Cut! Okay, forgive the ask. This is nuts, but could you by any chance try the same thing with less tears?
 * Nellie LaRoy: One tear or two...


 * Manny Torres: I'm not used to these kind of people.
 * Jimmy: They're no worse than movie people.


 * Jack Conrad: This table only has one bottle, and we're gonna need eight. We're also gonna need two gin rickeys, an orange blossom with brandy, three French 75s. Can you do a Corpse Reviver? Gin, lemon, triple sec and Kina Lillet with a dash of absinthe. Two of those.
 * Jen: Two of those.


 * Jack Conrad: [Enters her room as she is typing] Madame? Let's chat.
 * Elinor St. John: I'm on a deadline, darling.
 * Jack Conrad: You know, when I first moved to LA, you know what the signs on all the doors read? "No actors or dogs allowed." Yeah, I changed that. I helped build this place you call home. I've never had any illusions about us. I've never pretended we're friends. We're friendly. I scratch yours, you scratch mine. That's our work. But this? [Tosses the Photoplay magazine on Elinor's table] This is something else. [Sits down on a chair in front of Elinor's desk]
 * Elinor St. John: [Places her glasses on her desk] What do you want, Jack?
 * Jack Conrad: I want to know why you wrote it.
 * Elinor St. John: No, you want to know why they laughed. Would you like me to tell you?
 * Jack Conrad: Why they laughed. Sure, Elinor. Why?
 * Elinor St. John: There is no why. It wasn't your voice. It wasn't a conspiracy. And it certainly wasn't anything I wrote. There's nothing you could have done differently. There's nothing you can do. Your time has run out. There is no why. Stop questioning it.
 * Jack Conrad: I'm on a dry spell.
 * Elinor St. John: No. It's over. It's been over for a while. I'm sorry.
 * Jack Conrad: Elinor, you peddle gossip. You don't make anything. You don't know what it is to put yourself out there. You're just a cockroach. I've been counted out before. This isn't new to me.
 * Elinor St. John: Have you ever stopped to think why, when there's a house fire, the people die and the cockroaches all survive?
 * Jack Conrad: Jesus Christ.
 * Elinor St. John: What happened was you thought the house needed you. It doesn't. Doesn't need you any more than it needs the roaches. And the roaches, knowing this, crawl back into the dark, lay low, and make it through. See, but you, you held the spotlight. It's those of us in the dark, the ones who just watch, who survive.
 * Jack Conrad: A house fire.
 * Elinor St. John: And there'll be hundreds more like it, too. An earthquake could wipe this town off the map and wouldn't make a difference. It's the idea that sticks. There'll be a hundred more Jack Conrads. Hundred more me's. Hundred more conversations just like this one, over and over again, until God knows when. Because it's bigger than you. [Gets up from her chair] I know it hurts. No one asks to be left behind. [Sits on her desk in front of Jack] But in a hundred years, when you and I are both long gone, any time someone threads a frame of yours through a sprocket, you will be alive again. You see what that means? One day, every person on every film shot this year will be dead. And one day, all those films will be pulled from the vaults, and all their ghosts will dine together, and adventure together, go to the jungle, to war together. A child born in 50 years will stumble across your image flickering on a screen and feel he knows you, like... like a friend, though you breathed your last before he breathed his first. You've been given a gift. Be grateful. Your time today is through, but you'll spend eternity with angels and ghosts.
 * Jack Conrad: [Sadly gets up from his chair, begins to walk away, and stops for a second to sigh] Thank you for that. [Continues to walk away as Elinor returns to her typewriter]


 * Constance Moore: This goddamn bitch is stealing the scene from right in front of me! She's changing the blocking in every take! She's icing her nipples to perk them up!
 * Nellie LaRoy: Fuck you, I ain't icing my nipples, this is natural. You're just sore because yours just look like fuckin' latkes.
 * Constance Moore: [holds up a dildo] And she placed this... in my dressing room.
 * Nellie LaRoy: I don't even know what that is.


 * Jack Conrad: [Approaches the bellhop] Hey, you do a great job. What's the best tip you've ever received?
 * Bellhop: Fifty dollars.
 * Jack Conrad: Who gave you that?
 * Bellhop: You did, Mr. Conrad.
 * Jack Conrad: [Gives the rest of his money to the bellhop and says his last words] It's on you now, kid. The future's yours.


 * Manny Torres: I just love watching movies, you know?
 * Nellie LaRoy: I love watching movies too.
 * Manny Torres: You sit there. And you're watching the movie and...
 * Nellie LaRoy: And you escape. You don't have to be in your own shitty fucking life.
 * Manny Torres: Exactly!
 * Nellie LaRoy: Exactly! You can be in their life!
 * Manny Torres: Or wherever!
 * Nellie LaRoy: Or wherever!
 * Manny Torres: You can be in the fucking Wild West! You can be in fucking space! You can be like a gangster. And people dance in movies and people die in movies. And they're not really dead. It's fucking amazing. They're not really dead!


 * Manny Torres: Nothing happened, for real, but at the same time, it's something even more important than life. You can feel it! Like - I don't know. Movies are sad sometimes. Movies are fucking happy.
 * Nellie LaRoy: They make you feel something.


 * Ruth Adler: Who the fuck is this? I asked for the girl with the tits.
 * The Count: This is who they found.
 * Ruth Adler: What happened to the tits part?
 * The Count: She OD'd.

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 * Don Wallach: We're really excited about our new discovery, Nellie LaRoy.
 * Reporter (Small Restaurant): Is she here tonight? Can you point her out to me?
 * Don Wallach: She's the one having sex with the ice sculpture. We're all very fond of her.

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 * Jack Conrad: Bauhaus! You know what I mean by Bauhaus, don't you?
 * Writer (Jack's Tent): Not as it relates to this, no sir.

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 * Jack Conrad: [Answers phone] Hello?
 * Irving Thalberg: Jack, it's Irv. Listen, there's no good way to say this. They found George in his home this morning. Looks like he struck out with a girl he was seeing. He shot himself. Jack?
 * Jack Conrad: Thank you.

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 * Ruth Adler: Tim, you're fired.
 * Max (Ruth's Assistant Director): You heard her, get the fuck off this set!

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 * Mr. Thalberg: [Puts hand on Manny's shoulder] You're great, man. You call my office 'cause we're gonna need more musicians. [Puts hand across Manny's back] And you're talented, man.
 * Band member: [Approaches with extended for handshake] Mr. Thalberg, it's an honor to meet-
 * Mr. Thalberg: [Briefly shakes band members hand and walks away] Yeah, I'm gonna throw up now.

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 * [Nellie is in the bathroom studying a Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer business card when she overhears two men speaking behind the door]
 * Man 1: Spoke to my friend at Kinoscope. He said the movie's a disaster.
 * Man 2: LaRoy's?
 * Man 1: Yeah. They went double the budget 'cause she could never hit her fucking mark and her voice sounds like a dying pig. No, seriously, apparently the footage is so awful, Wallach's already thinking of dumping her.
 * Man 2: I'm not surprised. She never had any talent anyway. Oh, my God, zero. Filthy, slutty piece of fucking trash with a nasty voice. You meet her dad?
 * Man 1: Oh, my God. He's even more embarassing than she is. Fucking idiot. Goodbye! Don't come back! It's the end, I'm telling you. It's the end for all of 'em. All the frogs. [Nellie becomes visibly upset and repeatedly bangs her head against door frame]

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 * Robert Roy: [Telling story to woman] And that, that is when I grabbed the snake by the head.
 * Nellie LaRoy: [Walks up] The big fucking man! There he is!
 * Robert Roy: What?
 * Nellie LaRoy: What's he telling you? What was he saying to you?
 * Robert Roy: The snake story.
 * Nellie LaRoy: The snake story. Dad, I have an idea. Why don't you fight a snake, a real one, right now. Come on.
 * Robert Roy: No problemo. Let's go fight a snake.
 * Nellie LaRoy: Okay! [Smashes glass on ground and announces to party] Fucking listen up, all you big dick mister men! Who wants to see my dad fight a fucking snake! [Party is silent]
 * Jack Conrad: [Breaks silence with raised hands] Fuck yeah! [Entire party then simultaneously outbursts in approval with raised hands]
 * Party guests: Yeah! [Chanting] A snake's getting fought!

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 * Nellie LaRoy: I'm already a star.
 * Manny Torres: Ah, you are?
 * Nellie LaRoy: Yeah.
 * Manny Torres: What have you been in?
 * Nellie LaRoy: Nothing yet.

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 * Jack Conrad: I saw Olga Putti sing to herself in Hungarian, and I think I'm in love. Send two dozen roses to her dressing room every morning this week.
 * Manny Torres: You know she doesn't speak English?
 * Jack Conrad: Neither does love.

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 * James McKay: Okay, so there's this 10-year-old kid and he's a prodigy. Good with words, plays piano, recites Lincoln. But the twist is, he's a 50-year-old midget! The joke's on us!
 * Manny Torres: That is good.

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 * Elephant Wrangler: This is a truck for horses! Do I look like a fucking Maharaja?
 * Manny Torres: [Bribes the wrangler] And you're invited to the party.

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 * Jack Conrad: I'm gonna play it adagio. You know, for the music and the poetry. All art aspires to music.
 * '''Otto: I like it.
 * Jack Conrad: Yeah. Sandwich!

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 * Jimmy: [Referring to dead extra] He probably ran himself through.
 * Director (Wallach's Party): I heard he was a heavy drinker.
 * Jimmy: It's a disease.

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 * Reggie: I practice nine hours a day, you fuck.
 * Sidney Palmer: Yeah, yeah, but I mean on saxophone, not cocksucking.

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 * Manny Torres: What's your name?
 * Nellie LaRoy: Nellie LaRoy.
 * Manny Torres: Perfect. Once again.
 * Nellie LaRoy: Nellie LaRoy.
 * Manny Torres: In French.
 * Nellie LaRoy: It is French already!

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 * Dale: Scene 17, take seven. Mark. Action. [squeaks]
 * Nellie: Hello, college.
 * Dale: Nell, your mark!
 * Nellie: [Screams] Fuck this shit!
 * Bill: [Opens door to audio engineer box] Fuck. Lloyd. It’s a million fucking degrees! [Crew shoves Bill back in and shuts door]
 * Dale: We gotta move the mic. Or you could fucking direct her to hit her fucking mark. But why is it so fucking hard? You’re right!
 * Nellie: I didn’t realize we were making Ben-Hur!
 * Dale: I can move it right now. My whole year is wide open. We could shoot this thing through fucking New Year’s. Wherever the fuck those little feet of hers want to go, I can move the mic for them! Okay, calm down! Get off of me! I dare you! I fucking dare you! Get off the set! You’re good.
 * Nellie: Un-fucking-professional!
 * Dale: Okay. Okay, Lloyd, ready to go again? You want me to use this chalk? Make the mark bigger for you?
 * Ruth: Okay, we’re gonna go again. It’s fine. No, it’s fine.
 * Dale: The mark’s right here.
 * Nellie: I’m gonna kick your fucking ass!
 * Dale: Oh, yeah! Come on! Come on! [All shouting]
 * Bill: Can we go? I’m gonna have a fucking heart attack in here.
 * Crew: Get back in your fucking box, Bill!
 * Lloyd: I can’t even believe this.
 * Dale: Everyone, shut up! Shut the fuck up!
 * Nellie: That’s not how we make movies.
 * Dale: [Repeatedly] Shut the fuck up! Now, if anyone stops this scene again, I will shit on you! I will shit in your mouth, I promise you! Is that clear, Lloyd? Is that good for fucking sound? Now, we are going again! Camera! And motherfucking sound!

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 * Max: [Knocks on audio engineer box to no response] Billy! [Laughs] Bill! Billy, come on. Bill... Let’s get a crowbar. Come on. Hurry up.
 * All crew: [Bill falls out box unresponsive] Bill!
 * Ruth: Oh, my God.
 * Crew: [Checking for pules on wrist] He’s dead.

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 * Jack Conrad: Elinor, I will master the talking film on film.
 * Elinor St. John: Do you miss the silents?
 * Jack Conrad: [Long pause] No. We shouldn't stand in the way of progress.

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 * Sidney Palmer: You need to play better. You embarrassing us.
 * Reggie: Joe, you hear what he just said to me? Listen to this psychopath. When you gonna do something?
 * Sidney Palmer: Why you worried about Joe? Nigga, when are you gonna do something? Have you ever heard of Alexander Scriabin?
 * Reggie: Why the fuck do I care about Alexander Scriabin?
 * Sidney Palmer: Alexander Scriabin was a Russian pianist. Broke his hands just so his fingers could stretch across the keys better. I'm saying if I fucking headbutt you across them funky-ass lips of yours, you might start playing a little better. We can hope.

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 * James McKay: Would you like a drink? It's Brandy and Ether.
 * Jimmy: Yes.

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 * Institutionalised Mother: [Standing in echoing corridors in a smock]
 * Nellie LaRoy: Seems like a nice place.

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 * Elinor St. John: Would you mind showing me to the upstairs powder room, my dear boy?
 * Manny Torres: Sure. Uh, it's here down the hall.
 * Elinor St. John: No! No, no, upstairs.
 * Manny Torres: The stairs are very steep, I think.
 * Elinor St. John: I can be carried.

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 * Nellie LaRoy: You're about to not have a job, fucko!
 * Dale: Listen, I know you wish you were Billie Dove...
 * Nellie LaRoy: Oh, I think you wish you were eating my ass!

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 * Elinor St. John: So, Jacky boy, how do you think it turned out?
 * Jack Conrad: Ah, people want the kiss, we give them the kiss.

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 * Nellie LaRoy: [At the Hearst party, struggling to cope with the upper-class snobbery, then finally breaking] Actually, I've got one. A bear and a rabbit are shittin' in the woods one day. And the bear says to the rabbit, 'Hey, do ya ever have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?' And the rabbit finishes shitting and he says, 'No, I never do. Why?' And the bear says, 'Fan-fuckin'-tastic!' And he grabs the rabbit behind the ears and... [then grabs the rabbit fur scarf from around Mildred Yates' neck and imitates wiping her rear]
 * Elinor St. John: [Dumbfoundedly] I can't believe you just...
 * Nellie LaRoy: Why not? Why, haven't you heard what they say about me? I'm a degenerate fuckin' animal. 'Oh, Nellie!' Look at them. 'Oh, who knows what she might do? She's from Jersey, y'know.' This is what a degenerate fuckin' animal from Jersey does. [She animalistically feasts at the buffet like an animal, to everyone's stunned glare] That's what the degenerate fuckin' animal from Jersey does. So y'know what? I'm gonna let you go on fuckin' your cousins, polishing your guest lists, plying your fuckin' underage mistresses with fuckin' Beaujolais, you sick fucks! I'm the animal? What is this shit? What is this shit? Oh, I'm the sick one! I'm the fuckin' crazy one! You people make me fuckin' sick! You're not better than me! You're not! You're not fuckin' better than me. I don't need this shit. Y'know what? I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna stick some coke up my pussy. And you all can stick your champagne flutes up your rose-smellin', candy-tastin', snow white fuckin' assholes! [Walks outside, but quickly runs back inside. She then projectile vomits on the floor, horrifying and disgusting everyone]
 * William Randolph Hearst: My rug! You puked on my rug! [Nellie proceeds to projectile vomit on Hearst, before taking a sarcastic bow and leaving]

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 * Director (Wallach's Party): Schneller, motherfuckers! [Subtitles: Faster, motherfuckers!]

Cast

 * Brad Pitt - Jack Conrad
 * Margot Robbie - Nellie LaRoy
 * Diego Calva - Manny Torres
 * Jean Smart - Elinor St. John
 * Tobey Maguire - James McKay
 * Jimmy Ortega - Elephant Wrangler
 * Flea - Bob Levine
 * Olivia Wilde - Ina Conrad
 * Shane Powers - Dale
 * Phoebe Tonkin - Jane Thornton
 * Troy Metcalf - Orville Pickwick
 * Jovan Adepo - Sidney Palmer
 * Hansford Prince - Joe Holiday
 * Telvin Griffin - Reggie
 * Cutty Cuthbert - Jimmy