Bar Rescue

Bar Rescue is an American reality television series that premiered on Spike on 17 July 2011. It stars Jon Taffer, a long-time food & beverage industry consultant specialising in nightclubs and pubs, who offers his professional expertise plus renovations and equipment to desperately failing bars in order to save them from closing.
 * ''Created by Darrin Reed, written by Tim Hoffmann, directed by	Jay Hunter, and starring Jon Taffer.

Title sequence

 * P. J. King: This year, sixty-five-hundred failing bars nationwide will close their doors for good.  If things don't change soon, [insert bar name] in [insert location] will become just another statistic.


 * P. J. King: So [insert owner's name] has agreed to pull back the doors, bust open the books, and make a call for help&#8212;to Bar Rescue. Running a bar is not just a business; it's a science.  No one knows more about bar science than Jon Taffer.
 * Jon Taffer: I don't embrace excuses; I embrace solutions.
 * P. J. King: For more than thirty years, Jon has transformed hundreds of failing bars worldwide.
 * Jon Taffer: I believe that you could do this.
 * P. J. King: Jon turns money pits&#8212;
 * Jon Taffer: Clean the (bleep) place out.
 * P. J. King: &#8212;into money-makers.

Broke Black Sheep [2.6]

 * Donny: This is nuts.
 * Peter: What cocktail is that?
 * [Peter observes Donny's prep]
 * Peter: Don't need to shake it, you put Coke in it, top it off with Guinness.
 * [Customers begin chanting and pounding the bar for their Bushmills drink "Apple Pie"]


 * Peter: (interview) Out of all the staff, Donny's the weak link.
 * [Peter quizzes Donny during soft opening]
 * Peter: Apple Pie, what's in it?
 * Donny: Honey Bushma-, uh...
 * Peter: Bushmills Irish Honey.
 * Donny: Bushmills ho-, uh...
 * Peter: What else?
 * [Peter groans from chaotic thought]
 * Peter: (interview) I know he only learned a day, but there's only six cocktails.



Hole In None [3.27]

 * [Kevin starts making everything on the menu for Jon's recons Phil and Brian. He handles raw bacon with his bare hands, Health Code Violation (HCV) #1]
 * Jon: (Watching in his car with health inspector Steve) Clearly has raw product, raw pork mind you! What raw food is he touching now?
 * [Kevin handles a raw pizza, HCV #2]
 * Jon: (Gasps) (Kevin is handling raw mushrooms, HCV #3) There's no sanitation. There's no handwashing, there's no gloves being used, there's no separation from raw to cooked product.
 * Steve: I don't know how he lasted eight months.
 * [There's a metal bowl on the grill covered completely in soot]
 * Steve: Look at that bowl.
 * Jon: Oh! Look at that!
 * Steve That bowl has not been cleaned since this place opened.
 * [Kevin tilts the bowl over the chicken...]
 * Jon: If he drops... (...and drops it. HCV #4) And they're putting that over food!
 * Steve: This is inexcusable, absolutely.


 * Jon: You've done this for fourteen years?
 * Steve: I've never seen anything like this before. This is ridiculous.
 * Jon: THIS GUY SHOULD BE SHUT THE HELL DOWN!! Let's go in there.
 * [Jon and Steve enter the bar]
 * Jon: (interview) I didn't take a half a step in this place and I could smell the filth.
 * Jon: Richard.
 * Richard: How's it going Jon?
 * Jon: Not well, man.
 * Richard: You killed my kitchen.
 * Jon: You almost killed my frolicking mixologist! Phil is in the bathroom throwing up right now!
 * Richard: Off beer?
 * Jon: YES! OFF BEER FOR CHRIST SAKES! This is Steve, he's a health inspector with me. In 14 years have you ever seen somebody throw up so quickly from consuming something?
 * Steve: Absolutely not.
 * Jon: What just happened, Phil?
 * Phil: I just puked my brains out 'cause I drank that right there. (to Richard) Go ahead, take a sip of it man.
 * Jon: Go ahead, you let your customers drink it, drink it!
 * Phil: Taste it!
 * Richard: It's supposed to be 86'd.
 * Jon: Supposed to be 86'd?! Is it connected?! (HCV #5) Does she (Michelle) know it's 86'd, did you?
 * Michelle: No sir.
 * Jon: YOU WON'T DRINK IT, BUT HE WILL?!!! (Shatters the mug)


 * [They walk into a cooler with spores and fungus growing.]
 * Brian: What's this walk in? Oh, (bleep) me.
 * Jon: NO (bleep) WAY!!
 * Steve: This is a forest in here.
 * Brian: DUDE, YOU GOT (bleep) MUSHROOMS GROWING IN YOUR WALK IN!!
 * Steve: (interview) Spores, they have their own unique smell. You don't want to be breathing that stuff in.
 * Jon: LOOK AT THIS!! (HCV #14)
 * Steve: Oh, my god!
 * Jon: GET THE (bleep) OUTTA HERE! GET THE (bleep) OUTTA HERE! THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! Chef, Steve, let's leave. (interview) I gotta have this tested. If this is black mold, we are all in trouble. I'M OUTTA HERE! THIS PLACE IS DANGEROUS FOR CHRIST SAKES!! NOBODY EATS THIS FROLICKING FOOD!!! (slams all the food from the bar counter to the floor)


 * [Michelle has just been promoted to manager.]
 * Jon: What do you need to do to protect this business and your future?
 * Michelle: I need to clean up the mess.
 * Jon: Where is that mess?
 * Michelle: Next to me.
 * Jon: What are you going to do?
 * Michelle: This is an unnecessary mess. Kevin…you’re fired.
 * Kevin: (scoffs) (Bleep) you dude.
 * Jon: Good night. Get the (bleep) outta here.
 * Kevin: You don’t know half the (bleep). You’ve been here for two days and in the back and all the other…
 * Jon: I had you pegged in three minutes. A fraud is easy to see.
 * Kevin: Had me pegged? Yeah, smile on you piece of (bleep)! (Walks out)
 * Jon: That guy hurt every one of you, do you understand that?

Punch Drunk & Trailer Trashed [3.33]

 * Jon: The first day I got here, I never made it inside the bar. I got in a fight in the parking lot where your manager was fighting with you Cerissa. At the end of that fight, you (Karen) looked at her and said she had it coming.
 * Cerissa: (in flashback) And why was I on the ground?
 * Karen: (in flashback) Cerissa, you asked for it all the time!
 * Jon: And then I saw a video a few minutes ago that took me over the top and I want an answer to this! Matt, Dave please explain this!
 * [Jon shows on his tablet a video of Matt and Dave arguing outside the bar]
 * Matt: You think I'm (bleep) playing with you?! MAN I'M A MILITARY MOTHER(bleep)! I'LL WILL TAKE YOU OUT!! If you ever (bleep) yell at my wife again, (slaps Dave in the face) I won't (bleep) talk to you! Do you understand me?
 * [The fight continues across the street and ends when Dave throws a flower pot at Matt]
 * Matt (to Syck) Either you (bleep) put him through a window or I'm going to put him through a window. I own the bar so I prefer it was you.
 * Syck: You don't pay me enough man to put him through a (bleep) window.
 * Matt: You get a $10 raise an hour. (end of video)
 * Jon: You get a $10 raise per hour if you throw your own employee through a glass window. How did you like when he slaps you in the face?!
 * Dave: I didn't like it at all.
 * Jon: Is he a reasonable human being when he does that?
 * Syck: No, not when he does that.
 * Jon: Is she reasonable when she said you deserved it?
 * Cerissa: No.
 * Matt: I can give two (bleep) about what they're talking about right now!
 * Jon: Your bar isn't what's wrong, your character is what's wrong!
 * Matt: I've aired out my differences with all these people! I've talked! I've discussed!
 * Jon: REALLY?!!
 * Matt: Yeah!
 * Jon: How do you defend this?!
 * Matt: I'm sick of you yelling at my wife!
 * Jon: The problem is you guys think that this is okay! You guys are a mess.
 * Matt: I ain't scared of (bleep) Jon.
 * Jon: My tolerance for an owner hitting an employee, zero. You have no responsibility, none. You see, I have a reputation and I have to protect it and you will destroy it just like you've destroyed your own.
 * Karen: We are not those type of people.
 * Jon: Then what did I see?
 * Karen: Some things happened that you saw but that's not the normal that happens around here.
 * Jon: The ultimate coup-de-grace is an owner hitting an employee. I am not going to rescue a bar and then read the newspaper that somebody got hurt here next week. I won't have any part of it. Since I have been here, you guys have proven to me that you don't have the fundamentals to begin running this business and proved to me how irresponsible you are. So here's the deal, I'm leaving. I am not rescuing your bar. My advice to you is this: as another human being, you need some help and you need to pull your lives together then maybe you can save your business. You need a counselor, not a bar professional, but I'm done! This is the first Bar Rescue I've ever walked out of. You blew it! I'm gone, good night.

Vulgar Vixens [4.38]

 * Jon: How long have you worked here?
 * Cynthia: Four years.
 * Jon: And how long have you been behind the bar?
 * Cynthia: Uh, about three years? Two?
 * Jon: Don't be scared, I'm not going to bite you. (the girls laugh)
 * Chandra: She might enjoy it though.
 * Jon: So hold on, so right away, you went to the slut place.
 * Chandra: No I didn't! She said...
 * Jon: "I won't bite you," and you said what?
 * Chandra: She might enjoy it.
 * Jon: Now what right do you have to suggest ANYTHING about her sexual preference or habits and why are you smiling?! WHY ARE YOU SMILING?!! Are you going to tolerate that anymore?
 * Cynthia: No.
 * Chandra: I don't notice I'm doing it.
 * Jon: And you say it's endearing and it's fun. YOU OUGHT TO TREAT THEM WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT EVERY FROLICKING MINUTE I'M HERE OR BOY I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET IT!!! You will insult them, you will degrade them because to you, they're insignificant and meaningless. You're all that matters.
 * Chandra: That could be true.
 * Jon: Oh it's definitely true. I've got you frolicking pegged. If I'm right, raise your hand. (everyone except Chandra raises their hands)
 * Chandra: And I don't see it that way.
 * Jon: Nobody's ever told you you're offensive before?
 * Chandra: No. If they're ass(bleep), I tell them they're ass(bleep).
 * Cynthia: I've told you you are offensive before!
 * Chandra: People are our customers!
 * Cynthia: So many customers have told you you are a bitch and they're our customers.
 * Jon: So what does that mean?
 * Chandra: I just figure it's bar talk.
 * Jon: Bar talk. What the hell's the matter with you?! You are delusional, you have a serious issue and if you don't change it, you will never be successful. You're going to keep losing $4500 a month of your husband's money and it's your (bleep) mouth that does it. It's astonishing to me.

Paradise Lost [4.45]

 * Howard: We spent the whole night putting together debt in this place as best as we could and we're about $400,000 in debt right now. Most of these things we didn't even know about. There's no rent paid. That's $5000 a month screwing us! Over $100,000.
 * Jon: So you have to pay the rent here because of the cross guarantee to the theater and you (Scott) know that?
 * Scott: That's correct.
 * Jon: So you've made a decision not to pay the rent, you told me that. So now, you need to understand if they didn't pay the rent, you would be out of business.
 * Howard: I can't bleed over there because this bar was mismanaged. Well here's last month's bank statements. I'm really disgusted when I see the real numbers now.
 * Jon: What are these expenses? "Rental Car, Rental Car, Cafe! Golf Clubs, Golf Clubs, Golf Clubs!"
 * Scott: Jon that's--
 * Jon: "GOLF CLUBS! GOLF CLUBS!"
 * Howard: One month. One month.
 * Scott: I don't take a paycheck, she doesn't take a paycheck in four years!
 * Jon: "Golf tees, Golf Country Club, Golf Lunch."
 * Scott: Jon I don't, Jon--
 * Jon: No, no. That's embezzlement.
 * Scott: You can lo--
 * Jon: When you run personal expenses through a company and don't tell your partners, that's (bleep) fraud Scott! So see, if you agree to a paycheck, your partners know that. When you do this and they don't, that's why it's fraud.
 * Howard: You robbed the bank and you didn't get away with it.
 * Jon: This is the most incrimidating set of information against a manager I have ever seen.
 * Scott: Oh god! How do I live? How am I supposed to live?
 * Jon: ARE YOU THAT MUCH OF A (bleep) IDIOT SCOTT?!!
 * Howard: He doesn't (bleep) get it.
 * Scott: We don't take a paycheck for four years! (Jon pounds the counter)
 * Howard: Oh my god! The same (bleep) thing!
 * Jon: How do you live?!
 * Scott: Barely.
 * Jon: You're getting money from somewhere! WHERE?!
 * Scott: From the business.
 * Jon: So you ARE getting paid then! AREN'T YOU?!!
 * Scott: No I'm not getting paid. Getting paid is getting a paycheck!
 * Howard: (laughing) Jesus Christ!
 * Scott: I used some money. Look Jon, if you add that up, it doesn't come to $3000 a month for two people working 70 hours a week!
 * Jon: You've had time to go to a country club for dinner six times. But you're working all the time.
 * Gonen: All this is on your head.
 * Scott: Gonen, you are a (bleep) clown! Okay? Just shut your mouth, alright?!
 * Gonen: Jon Taffer just called you an embezzler!
 * Jon: You are a minority owner in this business. You don't have the right to take a (bleep) dollar without their approval! And the fact that you're spending money and acting like a big shot doesn't only make you a failure, it makes you a complete jerk.

"Back to the Bar: Empty Pockets" [4.49]

 * Gina Bigford: Two weeks after we got the liquor license, the state called us and said, "Stop selling."
 * Jon Taffer: What was the reason?
 * Gina Bigford: They said we were point-five-eight of a tenth of a mile outside of city limits.
 * Jon Taffer: [pointing at a map]  Take a look at this:  This is Murfreesboro.  The yellow is the county and that red circle is MT Bottles, which means MT Bottles's location is just three-hundred and thirty feet short of keeping its liquor license.  Now, what's amazing is you had the license.
 * Gina Bigford: I did.
 * Jon Taffer: And you were making a lot of money, right?
 * Gina Bigford: Yes, I was.
 * Jon Taffer: The bar was doing great.
 * Gina Bigford: It was doing great.  In just three months, we put twenty-thousand dollars on—down to buy the building.
 * Jon Taffer: And then they just changed their mind and took it away.
 * Gina Bigford: Yes.  I said, "No, I'm gettin' a lawyer 'cause y'all aren't makin' no sense."  I fought as hard as I could fight; finally ran out of money and had to throw in the towel.
 * Jon Taffer: Lisamarie, you got to go there and hear this story before I did.
 * Lisamarie Joyce: I did.  They are so close.
 * Gina Bigford: I love her.
 * Lisamarie Joyce: For it to be ripped away, it really broke my heart, really broke my heart.
 * Brandi Banks: It was absurd—ridiculous.  It really pissed me the (bleep) off.
 * Jon Taffer: Government at its best.  [audience laughs]
 * Gina Bigford: Yeah.