Barnyard (film)

Barnyard (also known as Barnyard: The Original Party Animals) is a 2006 computer-animated family-comedy film, distributed by Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon Movies, that was released on August 4, 2006.

The film is the second Nickelodeon film to be spun-off into a TV series, the first being Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius.

Otis

 * Put the chick down, Dag.
 * HEY!!!! [Lord of the Hoof horses stopped dancing, one goes off the stage] Have you all lost your mind?! It's daylight! The farmer's gonna be back! This is so off limits!
 * [after seeing the farmer come in after dancing with Wild Mike on stage] Uh, moo?
 * [after pushing Snotty Boy off his bed] That's called boy tipping! Hahaha!
 * [after Miles kicks the farmer the third time] Will you... stop... doing... that?! [Miles: Well, unless you get him a blindfold, I'm gonna kick him!] OK, let's go.
 * [walks to Ben's grave] Hey, Pop. I, uh, wanted to come by and, uh... Look, you-you were just a great dad. You see, I... I don't know what I was thinking, but...for a minute, I actually thought I could take your place. B-But...those coyotes... I-I mean, you woulda stood up to them and...y-you wouldn't have backed down. I gotta tell ya, I was...so afraid. [sighs] Ya know, I know I always said that I-I wasn't you, and...and I'm not. But I wish I was. [sighs] I-I-I can't do it, Pop. I gotta go. I'm sorry. [walks away]
 * [as Dag jumps to attack Otis, he grabs Dag] Remember me? I'm Ben's kid. [He slams Dag to the car window and threatens to punch him. (Same thing Ben did before his death.) He glares closer to whimpering Dag] Never... come... back. ''[drops Dag]

Others

 * Ben: Second item: lest I remind you, this is coyote season. [animals chatter concernedly] There are ruthless and desperate creatures. Rule #1: stay in groups. Rule #2: stay inside of the perimeter of the fence at all times. And #3: be careful out there. Okay, let's hit it. MOOOOOO!
 * Miles: [as he's cornered by coyotes] Well, well, whatever will I do? [kicks 3 coyotes, 1 coyote shivers in fear] Oh, don't worry. I've got someone special for you. [the crate unlocks revealing Wild Mike, who rides the back of the coyote] Heh-heh-heh-heh! I just love that little guy!
 * Freddy: The meeting's about finding someone to run the meeting? Is that a good idea?
 * Peck: Never! You're all gonna die.
 * Pip: Otis, are we supposed to not yell "rock"?
 * Pig: All clear! SWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEET!
 * Duke: [chewing on peanut butter] This...doesn't...mean...anything.
 * Daisy: [thinking of a name for her newborn son] I was thinking I kind of like...Ben.
 * Bessy: [pulls chairs from under bulls] Whatchu lookin' at? What, y-you want some o' this? Oh yeah, I didn't think so.
 * Dag: What, do you wanna be a hero, cow?
 * Etta: [to Dag, who's about to eat Maddy] Leave her alone.
 * Snotty Boy: That's called cow tipping! Hahaha!
 * Farmer: I'm just heading to the fields, Duke. I'll be back.
 * Snotty Boy's Dad: Okay, no more Red Bull.

Dialogue

 * [Miles kicks the farmer in the face with his leg]
 * Otis: What did you do that for?!
 * Miles: What else was I gonna do? He saw you.
 * Otis: You coulda killed him!
 * Pip: [jumps on the farmer's arm] I got a pulse. Wheeee!
 * Otis: Oh, this is bad. This is bad.
 * Sheep: Ba-a-ad.
 * Pig: [panicked] Everybody, just calm down. Just calm down, all right? What are we gonna do What are we gonna do?
 * [pause]
 * Otis: What?
 * Pip: Come on. You're our leader. Lead us.
 * Otis: That does not apply to this. This is a totally, situationally different suspect. Hey, whoa, no.
 * Freddy: [sees the farmer unconscious] We gotta ditch the body.
 * Otis: Stop it!
 * Freddy: He knows too much! We gotta take care of him. We gotta whack him!
 * Otis: There will be NO WHACKING! Okay? The farmer's a good guy! He's been good to us.
 * Miles: He's a vegan! God bless him.
 * Pig: And uh... what is a vegan again?
 * Freddy: Oh, I know this one...
 * Pip: Naw, I got it... it means you can't eat anything with a face.
 * Peck: No, no, that's a vegetarian.
 * Pig: Vegetarians have to eat in the dark, right?
 * Duke: Like a vampire! Come on!
 * Pip: You can't eat cheese?
 * Bessy: [as the farmer awakens] It's not just cheese, vegans can't have ANY dairy products.
 * Peck: Cake?
 * Pig: Cake has egg products...
 * Pip: But you can't have any dairy!
 * Otis: I.. I-I-I-I...
 * Freddy: No dairy? But I LOVE dairy! Does that mean I can't be a vegan?
 * Pig: I love the smell of bacon! There, I said it.
 * [All farm animals gasp to see the farmer awakened, Miles kicks the farmer again.]
 * Otis: WOULD YOU NOT DO THAT?!
 * Miles: It's not like we have a lot of options.
 * Pip: Boy, that's a doozy. That thing's bigger than me.
 * Pig Push it.
 * Pip: He wakes up, you got my back, right?
 * Pig: Yeah.


 * Freddy: Yeah, hi. Hey there. Having a good day? So, uh, this was Otis' idea?
 * Peck: Oh, yeah. We're like the second line of defense. We see or hear anything suspicious, and I just signal Otis with a crow. Oh, oh, and I've really been working on it. Listen. [he clears his throat, then crows weakly for much longer, then squeaks] Well, you-you know, in the moment, it'll be really strong. But for now, we just stand watch.
 * Freddy: Yeah, watch.
 * [Freddy has a vision, the hens turn into rotisserie-style whole chicken meats]
 * Vision Freddy: Come and get it! [dings the triangle]
 * [the camera zooms back into reality]
 * Pip: Freddy? You okay?
 * Freddy: BONELESS WHITE MEAT! What?! I'm not hungry! I mean, I don't wanna eat anyone...thing...you...uh... [slaps himself in the face] What happened? What? What, what?


 * Ben: Okay. First off, I don't even wanna know who was on the other end of that phone. It was the gophers, wasn't it?
 * Otis: Well, I...
 * Ben: [interrupts Otis] No, I don't wanna know. Was it the gophers?
 * Otis: Here's...
 * Ben: [interrupts Otis again] No, don't. I don't wanna know. Why do you do this to me? How do you think that makes me look?
 * Otis: So this... This is about you?
 * Ben: [sighs and turns his back] Where were you this morning, Otis?
 * Otis: I was having a little fun. I mean, you should try it. Okay, it starts with a smile, then it slowly...builds and...
 * Ben: You promised to help me with the brush around the fence. You know it's coyote season.
 * Otis: Geez, coyotes. I-I don't get it. What's the big deal? They're coyotes. Them tiny, us big! What are they gonna do?
 * Ben: You have a lot to learn.
 * Otis: And y'know, I-I don't get the fence thing. Really, it-it can't keep 'em out.
 * Ben: That fence defines our space. And as long I'm still kickin', no animal will be harmed inside that fence.
 * Otis: Okay, but that's what you do. [stands up] YOU, okay? If you're tryna groom me to be the big leader, just give it up. It's not me, Pop. I mean, if I was in charge, things would be different. Every animal for himself. That's the way it should be. [begins to walk out]
 * Ben: Otis... [Otis turns around] A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others.
 * Otis: Oh, shoot. Ya know, I-I forgot my pen.
 * Ben: And your shift tonight?
 * Otis: I'll be there.
 * Ben: Otis, you're gonna have to grow up one day. You'll never be happy if you spend all your time goofing off.
 * Otis: No? Just watch me. [walks out, Ben crosses his arms]


 * Dag: What, do you wanna be a hero, cow?
 * [Otis dodges the coyotes' attacks]
 * Dag: [snarls then thinks for a moment] Hey, you're Ben's kid. Otis, right? So, they left you in charge. [snickers] Oh, that's precious. [laughs then refers to Ben] You thought you could fill his shoes? [Otis sulks briefly] Otis, where were you? Were ya off havin' fun, laughin' with your barnyard buddies? Yeah, you coulda made a difference had you been there for him. But you weren't, were ya? [Otis begins to despair] Okay, from here on out, this is the way it's gonna work. We show up, you look the other way. A few animals missing here and there. Hey, it's the natural order of things. It'll be our little secret. [winks] Oh, and, Ben's kid, if you should think about getting a sudden burst of courage... [snarls] ...we slaughter every animal in sight. Now you go back, make everyone feel all safe, and we'll be seeing you tomorrow night. That's a date. [snarls at Otis in the face] See you around. [laughs] "Round"? You're fat. [laughs again, then runs off and the other coyotes follow]


 * Otis: CHICKEN FARM!
 * Pip: Oh, I get it. We can't yell "tree" or "rock", but you get to yell "chicken farm".


 * Pizza Twin #1: Dude, I got an ARM!
 * Pizza Twin #2: Yeah! Righteous! [gibbers incoherently]


 * Nora Beady: Randall, there is a cow outside.
 * Nathan Randall Beady the Third: This is a cow farm. You're going to find cows outside.
 * Nora Beady: No, I mean, right outside. Right outside this house. Looming like a ghost, like a...like a reaper.
 * Nathan Randall Beady the Third: No, cows don't like houses much. They prefer it out in the meadow where they can get a graze on.
 * Nora Beady: Nathan Randall the Third, I am not crazy. I am medicated for a chemical imbalance. Don't you sit there and think that I am crazy.
 * Nathan Randall Beady the Third: [sighs] Your mind's gone, woman. Where did it go? I don't know. It's gone!


 * Ben: Okay, first matter at hand: grey market goods. As if I needed to say it again. The purchase of human articles from the gopher underground is strictly prohibited.
 * Otis: [Otis cellphone] Hello, motto!
 * [start to play the Motorola tune, Otis coyly answers]
 * Gopher: Hey, Otis! [giggles] Yeah, listen, I think your Nikes are...
 * Otis: [whispering] Yeah, this really isn't the best time.
 * Gopher: Hang on a second. Frankie, c'mere. Frankie, c'mere. No, I'm not... C'mere, I'm not gonna hurt you. Frankie, c'mere. [slaps landing] I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE! NOW PUT IT OVER THERE! NOW! [walks back onscreen] Sorry about that. Frankie's outta hand. Uh, the Nikes, what's the make again?
 * Otis: Yeah, I really should go, Mr. Jordan Air. [hangs up] Wrong number. [pretends to yawn]
 * Pip: [grabs the phone] Thank you.


 * Daisy: ["feels" her stomach] Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, the baby's coming!
 * Otis: WHAT?
 * Daisy: [giggles] I made you jump.
 * Otis: Nice! Nice, thank you. I swallowed my cud.
 * Daisy: [laughs, then looks up at the stars] It's so...beautiful.
 * Otis: My cud?


 * Pig: [watching Daisy giving birth] Man, that looks like it hurts.
 * Duke: Oh, that's very profound, "Insight Man".
 * Pig: Well, excuse me for being a pig!
 * Pip: How come nothing's happened yet?
 * Peck: She's, uh... She's gonna be alright though, huh?
 * Pig: Yeah, like, like, what if it gets...stuck or something?
 * Freddy: What? You mean, like, stuck halfway? So-so she'd be a cow and a half?
 * Pig: I didn't say "cow and a half".
 * Freddy: Yes you did. You just did.
 * Pig: Hey, Duke, did I say "cow and a half"?
 * Duke: I'm not doin' this.

 You got to MOO! You got to MOO! You got to MOO!''
 * [Otis and the Jersey Cows are driving recklessly in a car]
 * Eddy: Put crowns on our heads, 'cause we are the kings! [turns on the radio, the song "You Got to Move" plays. The cows start banging their heads, Eddy honks the car horn]
 * Cows: ''[singing] You got to MOO!


 * Dag: [grabs a hen and shushes her, turns around] Good evening, ladies. Sorry to call on you so late in the evening, but we did have a previous engagement. [laughs evilly and takes out a chicken feet keychains] Now we're gonna take 6 of you. Anyone makes a sound, we don't mind the extra company. [turns to his coyotes] Boys, take your pick.
 * Etta: You won't be taking any hens tonight.
 * Dag: [growls at Etta] And you're gonna stop us? Hmm? Is that what's gonna happen? Are you gonna stop us, hen? How are you gonna do that, huh? [laughs evilly]
 * Etta: No. He is. [points at Ben]
 * Dag: [turns his head to find Ben] Ben. How are you, Ben? Yeah, we would've said hello had we seen ya.
 * Ben: Put the hen down, Dag.
 * Dag: Sure, Ben. Whatever you say. We're just doing a little courting, that's all. You know how much we like the hens. [laughs evilly] You know me, ladykiller. You have us at a bit of a disadvantage here, Ben. [the coyotes gather] There's 6 of us and only 1 old fat you.


 * Pip: [jumps on a coyote's back] Yoohoo! [coyote growls] You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go right in your ear! [jumps in the coyote's ear]
 * Coyote: [screams] THERE'S A MOUSE IN MY EAR! THERE'S A MOUSE IN MY EAR!


 * Dag: Well, look at the hero. You thought you could come into my den! Now, why don't you lay there and watch while we eat your friends? [laughs evilly]
 * [Otis gets up slowly with much courage to do so]
 * Dag: [turns around] What's this?
 * Otis: [exhausted] A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others.
 * Dag: [laughs evilly] This should be fun. [sniffs the air and looks around to find Miles, Pip, Peck, Freddy, and Pig atop a junk pile] I smell fear.
 * Peck: Shoot! I told you they can smell it.
 * Freddy: They can smell it? [sniffs himself] Oh yeah, I have it. I have a lot of it!
 * Miles: Just stick near me, guys, and you'll be alright.
 * Freddy: [regains confidence] Yeah, I'll watch your juicy back! [realizes what he just said] I mean, your regular back.
 * Pig: [Pip poops on his head] Hey!
 * Pip: Sorry, man. It's just pellets. I'm nervous.


 * Otis: Remember me? I'm Ben's kid. [threatens to punch Dag. Dag starts to quiver, and Otis does not punch him, but gets in his face] Never...come...back. [Dag whimpers while nodding his head. Otis drops Dag] Pip?
 * Pip: Eh, I'd have to go with the iron, man.
 * [Otis takes a iron golf club and whacks Dag with it, Dag goes flying out of the junkyard while howling]

Cast

 * Kevin James — Otis
 * Courteney Cox — Daisy
 * Sam Elliott — Ben
 * Danny Glover — Miles
 * Wanda Sykes — Bessy
 * Andie MacDowell — Etta
 * David Koechner — Dag
 * Jeff Garcia — Pip
 * Cameron A. Clarke — Freddy
 * Rob Paulsen — Peck, Gopher, Pizza Twin #1
 * Tino Insana — Pig
 * Dom Irrera — Duke
 * Scott Bullock — Eddy
 * John DiMaggio — Bud, Officer O'Hanlon
 * Maurice LaMarche — Igg
 * Madeline Lovejoy — Maddy
 * Nathaniel Stroman — Root
 * Steve Oedekerk — Eugene "Snotty Boy" Goldner, Nathan Randall Beady the Third, Mr. Goldner, Pizza Twin #2
 * Maria Bamford — Nora Beady
 * Jill Talley — Mrs. Goldner
 * Fred Tatasciore — Farmer Buyer