Bedknobs and Broomsticks

Bedknobs and Broomsticks is a 1971 film from Walt Disney Pictures about an apprentice witch, three kids and a cynical conman who search for the missing component to a magic spell useful to the defense of Britain.
 * Directed by Robert Stevenson. Screenplay by Bill Walsh and Don DaGradi based on the novels of Mary Norton.

You'll beWITCHED! You'll beDAZZLED! You'll be swept into a world of enchantment BEYOND ANYTHING BEFORE!

Miss Price

 * Children and I don't get on.
 * [reading from Professor Browne's letter] Technically a witch is always a lady except when circumstances dictate otherwise.
 * [after turning King Leonidas into an animated long-tailed rabbit] Oh, bother. I do hate shoddy work.

Mr. Browne

 * [Mr. Browne takes the Star of Astoroth.] I'll keep it. Women always lose things.
 * [An old man is playing dreary music on a piano which he is selling.] Oh, Grandpa, you don't expect to sell a piano like that, do you?
 * Observe the fundamental weakness of the criminal mind. You will believe no one or anything.
 * It is not what things are; it is what they seem to be. Is that not so, Madam?
 * You didn't think I knew that spell?

Charlie

 * There'll be no more of this wash wash morning and night.
 * Game's up, Miss Price. We know what you are.
 * Wait! Wait! We can't leave the bed there!

Dialogue

 * [A British Army officer's car stops at a junction on a country road where an elderly man is painting over signposts.]
 * Captain Greer: You there! Which way to Pepperinge Eye?
 * Elderly Man: Couldn't say, sir—said on the wireless to paint out the signposts in case the Nazis drop in.
 * Captain Greer: I'm not a Nazi, I'm a British officer!
 * Elderly Man: That's what you say if you was a Nazi, isn't it sir?


 * [Miss Price has just arrived on an old motorbike, emitting blasts of yellow smoke. After she has gone, the two army officers begin to speak.]
 * Captain Greer: Who is that?
 * General Teagler: Miss Price—splendid woman. Her late father served with me at Vimy Ridge.
 * Captain Greer: What's she burning in this thing?—It smells a bit like sulphur.
 * General Teagler: Nonsense! One can't make a motor fuel out of sulphur!


 * Carrie: Who else lives here?
 * Miss Price: I live alone — it suits my purposes.


 * Miss Price: Supper is at six. You will wash, thoroughly—
 * Charlie: Wash?!
 * Miss Price: You will wash yourselves, otherwise there will be no supper, is that clear?
 * [Miss Price leaves the room.]
 * Charlie: A house of horrors, that's what we've come to.


 * [Charlie notices an odd bottle on a shelf in Miss Price's office.]
 * Charlie: Poisoned dragon's liver?!
 * Miss Price: Poisoned dragon's liver.
 * Paul: Do you poison the dragon or just the liver?
 * Miss Price: It comes prepared. It's part of the school equipment.


 * Paul: I liked you better as a rabbit, Charlie
 * Charlie: Shut up, you!


 * Charlie: Don't they have no rules?
 * Paul: Of course they do. The king makes them up as they go.


 * [as Secretary Bird sees that King Leonidas' star necklace is missing, he reacts, then stutters, and points]
 * King Leonidas: [growls] Stop jibbering. [hits Secretary Bird on the head] What's the matter with you?
 * Secretary Bird: [blubbing] Your Royal Star! They've stolen your royal star!
 * King Leonidas: [laughs] Don't be ridiculous. What do you think this is? [dangles a whistle in front of Secretary Bird, who blows on it, and when he sees the whistle, King Leonidas realizes and roars so loudly, that blows Secretary Bird's clothes off] WHYYYYYYYY DIDDDDDN'T YOUUUUUUUUUUUU SAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!!


 * Paul: Is this London?
 * Carrie: 'Course it is. Can't you smell that lovely sooty air?


 * Mr. Browne: I found the door open, the curtains closed—the house was deserted.
 * Miss Price: Why on earth would someone do a thing like that?
 * Mr. Browne: I would say this may have something to do with it… [gestures toward an unexploded bomb]
 * Miss Price: Merciful heavens! I should be terrified at the very idea of living here.
 * Mr. Browne: You would have thought so, wouldn't you? I am, by nature, a little bit of a coward—but then I pondered, as I often do: in the perverse nature of things, this diabolical object is probably the best friend I ever had. It has enabled me for the first time in my life to live like a king. Shall we go in?


 * Charlie: Why d'you keep the curtains closed?
 * Mr. Browne: So we can enjoy our cheese and wine in the gentle glow of candlelight.
 * Charlie: I bet it's so the coppers won't catch you hiding out here.


 * [Miss Price is searching in Mr. Browne's library, standing on a ladder attached to a rail on the high shelves.]
 * Mr. Browne: What's your name?
 * Miss Price: [disinterestedly] Miss Price.
 * Mr. Browne: No, I mean your first name.
 * Miss Price: Eglantine.
 * Mr. Browne: Eglantine...Eglantine... [He pushes the ladder upon which Miss Price is standing along the rail, startling her.] Oh, how you shine!


 * Miss Price: [reading from the book she has found at last] Ah! "Substitutiary locomotion. The ancient art of..." [She reads for a few moments in a whisper.] Ah! Here we are: "The spell which creates this force is five mystic words. These words are—" [She pauses incredulously, and turns over the tattered leaves of the book.] ...But the rest of the book is missing!
 * Mr. Browne: Now you see why I closed down the college.


 * Mr. Browne: I will cause the bed and all its occupants to disappear.
 * Bookman: Disappear? I'd like to see a cheap jack entertainer do a trick like that.
 * Mr. Browne: Cheap jack entertainer. Now that was naughty.


 * [Miss Price's belongings inadvertently come to life after she recites an ancient magical spell. Mr. Browne begins to dance with a nightdress.]
 * Miss Price: That's my nightgown!
 * Mr. Browne: Is it really, my dear?
 * Miss Price: Yes, and I'm not responsible for its behavior.
 * Mr. Browne: Obviously not, my dear.


 * [Miss Price and the children are being held captive in her house by German soldiers.]
 * Colonel: No, fraulein, this is not the invasion. Just a little exercise. A minor raid to induce panic and to spread a little mischief. When you English get it through your head that the German forces can land at will whenever and wherever we please, perhaps you will consider a reasonable peace.
 * Charlie: Not bloody likely!
 * Paul: Go on, Miss Price. Do it to him.
 * Miss Price: I must say, it's very tempting. Colonel, how would you feel about being turned into a nice white rabbit? [The colonel speaks German to a soldier, ignoring Miss Price] I said, how would you feel about being turned into a nice white rabbit?
 * [Paul smiles]
 * Colonel: Be quiet, please.
 * [Miss Price stands up, points at the Colonel, but cannot remember the correct words to the incantation]
 * Miss Price: Filigree, apogee, epigee...!
 * Charlie: Not again.
 * Carrie: Your memory, Miss Price.
 * Miss Price: Charles, would you kindly fetch me my notebook from the workroom, please?
 * Charlie: Righto.
 * [He attempts to run, but a German officer restrains Charlie. Miss Price and Paul attempt to retrieve Charlie in much commotion. The colonel, annoyed, turns to them]
 * Colonel: SILENCE!! [The commotion stops] Fraulein, we have work to do. I am sorry, but I must send all of you someplace where you will no longer be a nuisance. [Speaks an order in German and continues working]


 * Paul: That's not a rabbit— that's Mr. Browne, that is!
 * Miss Price: If you are Mr. Browne, would you kindly get down off my lap?

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 * Charlie: Hurt your foot, Miss Price?
 * Miss Price: Oh, just twisted my ankle.
 * Charlie: Sorry to hear that.
 * Miss Price: Thank you. It's nothing serious.
 * Charlie: Lovely weather for flying last night.
 * [heavy pause]
 * Miss Price: Why did you say that, Charles?
 * Charlie: [bringing out her broken broomstick] Game's up, Miss Price. We know what you are.

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 * General Teagler: Halt!
 * Mr. Emelius: Well, here we go.
 * Sergeant: Permission to move up, sir.
 * General Teagler: Carry on, Sergant.

Cast

 * Angela Lansbury - Miss Eglantine Price
 * David Tomlinson - Mr. Emelius Browne
 * Ian Weighill - Charles "Charlie" Rawlins
 * Cindy O'Callaghan - Carrie Rawlins
 * Roy Snart - Paul Rawlins
 * Roddy McDowall - Mr. Rowan Jelk
 * Sam Jaffe - the Bookman
 * Bruce Forsyth - Swinburne
 * Tessie O'Shea - Mrs. Jessica "Jessie" Hobday
 * John Ericson - Colonel Heller
 * Reginald Owen - Major General Sir Brian Teagler
 * Arthur Gould-Porter - Captain Greer
 * Cyril Delevanti - Elderly farmer
 * Lennie Weinrib - King Leonidas and Secretary Bird (voice)
 * Dallas McKennon - Bear (voice)
 * Bob Holt - Codfish (voice)