Bedtime Stories (film)

Bedtime Stories is a 2008 American family-fantasy-comedy film directed by Adam Shankman and starring Adam Sandler.

Skeeter Bronson

 * [Reffering to Bugsy on his head] What the heck is on my head right now?
 * [Skeeter sings to the staff] Barry had a Nottingham. Nottingham. Nottingham. Barry had a Nottingham whose beard was white as snow. [Skeeter stops singing] C'mon, give it up for the big man.
 * Lucky my wallet only had three dollars, and my Derek Jeter baseball card!
 * I'll have me win in the story, so I'll win for real. Do ya dig?
 * [Barry Nottingham doesn't want to hug Skeeter because of germs] Let's get past that. OK. Oh, see? Look, your enjoying it. We're hugging, and nothing's happening.
 * The Big Hotel Idea Story!
 * Gotta babysit my niece and nephew tonight. Oh God. Got any advice for me?
 * [talking on the phone from the next room] EMERGENCY! [enters the room] They don't have a TV.
 * There are no happy endings in real life. The sooner you guys learn that, the better.
 * [looking at Bugsy's (guinea pig) eyes] DAAAAAAAAAAH! Wow! Those would look big on a cow! Are those eyeballs or bowling balls? Need to keep my eyes off him, goodbye.

Jill Hastings

 * It's not that big, sir. It can fit into one spot.
 * Excuse me Mr. Nottingham. My name is Jill Hastings. I'm a teacher at Webster Elementary.
 * That's my Prius.
 * [to Skeeter after he finds out that the new hotel is replacing Webster Elementary School] Don't destroy the sliver of respect I still have for you by making lame excuses. Just go away and stay away.

Patrick Bronson

 * [Skeeter mistakes him for Bobbi] I'm Patrick. She's Bobbi.
 * Girls are bisgrusting, except for Trisha Sparks.
 * [looks at the stars] Oh look. A pyramid.
 * You have to read us a bedtime story.

Bobbi Bronson

 * [is asked how hamburgers taste like] Lifechanging.
 * Patrick's never kissed a girl.
 * [looking at Skeeter's gifts] Shampoo, and a soap?

Other

 * Barry Nottingham Yes. Now, sign the bloody papers.
 * Mickey [translating Skeeter's gibberish] Jumping up and down on the alligator.
 * Barry Nottingham Germs!
 * Mickey Oh, so positive visualisation. I read a book on that once...I read the back cover...I can't read. [Bugsy starts laughing] Shut up, Bugsy! I've got opposable thumbs. What do you think about that? [Bugsy stops laughing]

Dialogue

 * Skeeter Am I really getting a cherry-red ferrari?
 * Robber I don't see why not.
 * Skeeter For freeeee?!
 * Robber Sounds good to... meeeee?


 * Violet Nottingham Skeeter? Skeeter Bronson?
 * Skeeter Yes, ma'am.


 * Skeeter Raining gumballs?
 * Patrick Why not? It's a bedtime story: anything can happen.
 * Skeeter Yeah, well I guess, in the story. I just wish it was like that in real life. I really do. [imaginary wind chimes sound]


 * Bobbi You go into a magical cave.
 * Skeeter Caves are nice.
 * Bobbi And Abe Lincoln's there.
 * Skeeter Abe Lincoln?! What, is this a joke to you?! What the heck's the matter with you?!


 * Skeeter So you need me, this is good. I´ll do it. But you will have to say "Skeeter is the coolest, I´m a nerd".
 * Wendy Skeeter is the coolest, I´m a nerd
 * Skeeter Yeah, you are!


 * Marty: And so Skeeter sat on his bed filled with regret, wondering how to put the pieces of his life back together after one magical week.
 * Skeeter: [sarcastic] Great ending, huh?
 * Marty: That was your ending?! I thought this was just a sad part before things got better!
 * Skeeter: What do you mean?
 * Marty: Well in the stories I told you, just when things looked bleakest, the hero would do something unexpected and courageous to beat the bad guy, save the day and get the girl!
 * Skeeter: [inspired] Yeah! How do I do that?
 * Marty: It's your story, not mine. But you better get moving; go get 'em, son!

Cast

 * Adam Sandler as Skeeter Bronson
 * Keri Russell as Jill
 * Guy Pearce as Kendall
 * Russell Brand as Mickey
 * Richard Griffiths as Barry Nottingham
 * Teresa Palmer as Violet Nottingham
 * Lucy Lawless as Aspen
 * Courteney Cox as Wendy Bronson
 * Jonathan Morgan Heit as Patrick
 * Laura Ann Kesling as Bobbi
 * Jonathan Pryce as Marty Bronson
 * Nick Swardson as Engineer
 * Aisha Tyler as Donna Hynde
 * Allen Covert as Ferarri Guy
 * Blake Clark as Biker
 * Kathryn Joosten as Mrs. Dixon
 * Mikey Post as Angry Dwarf
 * Rob Schneider as Indian Chief/The Robber (Uncredited)
 * Arne Starr as Nottingham Employee/Senator/Cowboy/Spaceman (Uncredited)
 * Thomas Hoffman as Young Skeeter
 * Abigail Droeger as Young Wendy
 * Jonathan Loughran as Party Guest
 * Heather Morris as Cat Dancer