Best Laid Plans (1999 film)

Best Laid Plans is a 1999 film about a scheme to extort money that goes increasingly awry.
 * Directed by Mike Barker. Written by Ted Griffin.

Relationships can be murder. (taglines)

Bryce

 * I only wanted to get laid, instead I'm getting fucked.

Nick

 * We save her, we screw us, and vice versa. But think- who's worth saving here? Who's created this problem? Someone is gonna get hurt, Bryce. It's just a question of who.

Lissa

 * [to Nick] I've built up a certain tolerance for your fuck-ups.
 * [Nick is reaching for the stolen note, which Lissa has hidden in her private parts] You could at least kiss me when you do that.

Other

 * Bad Ass Dude: Boy, you got a funny idea about chivalry. When me and my lady go driving, she always rides up front with me.
 * Bad Ass Dude: What, you never fucked a friend before?

Dialogue

 * Bryce: She's sixteen. I mean, what 21-year-old carries around a fake ID saying she's 16? The girl downstairs is 16. Sixteen! I mean, it doesn't matter if she said no. It doesn't matter if she screamed yes, and had a notary public certify it; she's underage! It's statutory! If she presses charges, I will go to jail!
 * Nick: So I guess a second date's out of the question, then, huh?


 * Nick: You know, not everything in the world revolves around fucking.
 * Bryce: No, just most things.


 * Nick: We're fucked.
 * Lissa: You're telling me.


 * Nick: I thought you'd be an older guy.
 * Bad Ass Dude: My profession don't promote career longevity. It's a young man's business.


 * Nick: I love you.
 * Lissa: Why do you think I'm doing this?


 * Nick: I thought you were leaving.
 * Lissa: I thought I was too. Then I realized I didn't have any money.
 * Nick: [chuckles] Let's walk?
 * Lissa: Where?
 * Nick: Anywhere. Away from here.

Taglines

 * Relationships can be murder.
 * Ever feel like the world is conspiring against you... You don't have to tell me where you've been... Everyone sucks, but us... keeping a relationship alive can be murder.

Cast

 * Josh Brolin - Bryce
 * Alessandro Nivola - Nick
 * Reese Witherspoon - Lissa
 * Terrence Howard - Jimmy
 * Jamie Marsh - Barry
 * Rocky Carroll - Bad Ass Dude