Bill Allred

Bill Allred is one of the three hosts on Salt Lake City's Radio From Hell show.

Sourced

 * Don't you know who I am?
 * Daily Sign-off


 * I'm Bill Allred, Painter of Light.
 * Former Sign-off


 * KSL is the Zoloft of the evening news.
 * Radio From Hell (June 8, 2005)


 * You had your thumb up your butt and your mind was in Arizona
 * Radio From Hell (June 8, 2005)


 * You’re large but not in charge.
 * Radio From Hell (June 22, 2005)


 * What do you mean I can’t sleep with this hooker in the basement?
 * Radio From Hell (June 23, 2005)


 * If it had been a pain in the ass, you wouldn’t be pregnant now.
 * Radio From Hell (July 6, 2005)


 * Thanks, Tonto, for your help.
 * Radio From Hell (July 7, 2005)


 * Prince Albert can't keep it in the can.
 * Radio From Hell (July 12, 2005)


 * I used to eat Gina's curd.
 * Radio From Hell (July 19, 2005)


 * I don’t have a fetus.
 * Radio From Hell (August 1, 2005)


 * It's folks what juggle fire.
 * Radio From Hell (August 11, 2005)


 * I've had other kinds of spurts, but 'growth' was not one of them.
 * Radio From Hell (August 24, 2005)


 * Tell me that Billy Joe Armstrong doesn’t look like a fruit.
 * Radio From Hell (August 29, 2005)


 * This baby will be born with a drinking problem.
 * Radio From Hell (September 6, 2005)


 * They might have been all up in your pregnancy!
 * Radio From Hell (September 13, 2005)


 * We used to make condoms out of snow tires.
 * Radio From Hell (September 22, 2005)


 * You dumb bitch! I have scissors for hands!
 * Radio From Hell (September 29, 2005)


 * Radio From Hell: A great alternative to toilet paper.
 * Radio From Hell (October 3, 2005)


 * Look at the size of that earlobe.
 * Radio From Hell (October 3, 2005)


 * I am filled to the brim with the goodness of me.
 * Radio From Hell (October 6, 2005)


 * We'll have peanut butter crackers and juice and use the bidet!
 * Radio From Hell (October 11, 2005)


 * Buttle me Boris!
 * Radio From Hell (November 14, 2005)


 * My gaydar has gone haywire.
 * Radio From Hell (November 14, 2005)


 * They're from the guy who snipped my nuts.
 * Radio From Hell (November 17, 2005)


 * Being in love means never having to say 'giddy-up.'
 * Radio From Hell (January 12, 2006)


 * I've got a powerful thirst for some of that lactation.
 * Radio From Hell (January 13, 2006)


 * They're 'fun bags' not 'feed bags!'
 * Radio From Hell (January 13, 2006)


 * He's living 'La Vida Wee-Wee'.
 * Radio From Hell (January 16, 2006)


 * Eat your way to safety!
 * Radio From Hell (February 3, 2006)


 * Is that about farting zombies?
 * Radio From Hell (February 8, 2006)


 * I don't believe the government has a knobby.
 * Radio From Hell (March 9, 2006)


 * We're nothing but common whores.
 * Radio From Hell (March 10, 2006)


 * It's not easy being a bivalve in today's modern world.
 * Radio From Hell (March 21, 2006)


 * I'm talking from my muff.
 * Radio From Hell (March 23, 2006)


 * How long are you supposed to leave your Karl Malone tree up?
 * Radio From Hell (March 24, 2006)


 * The 'jugastuff' had a baby this spring.
 * Radio From Hell (March 27, 2006)


 * A rich compost of turkey manure and wood shavings.
 * Radio From Hell (April 12, 2006)


 * Honey? Traffic's kinda busy and you're naked. Honey!?
 * Radio From Hell (April 14, 2006)


 * I don't care. I'm Mr. Buttons.
 * Radio From Hell (April 17, 2006)


 * It's fun to watch butter on the hoof.
 * Radio From Hell (April 19, 2006)


 * Do what is right let the booty follow.
 * Radio From Hell (April 21, 2006)


 * Our show curdles milk.
 * Radio From Hell (April 24, 2006)


 * You can't trust midgets, particularly gay-loving midgets.
 * Radio From Hell (May 30, 2006)


 * You know who Carrot-Top should be married to in a movie? Gallagher.
 * Radio From Hell (May 30, 2006)


 * Jesus is a place-kicker and he's gonna kick you through the goal-posts of life.
 * Radio From Hell (June 6, 2006)


 * There is no way you could sit down more than you do.
 * Radio From Hell (June 7, 2006)


 * Growing up with the runs.
 * Radio From Hell (June 12, 2006)


 * I think I just got horny.
 * Radio From Hell (June 19, 2006)


 * What do you mean you washed my three-piece hemp suit in the laundry?
 * Radio From Hell (June 22, 2006)


 * That's her psychic cock waking her up.
 * Radio From Hell (July 14, 2006)


 * Don't look at me weird. I'm sandwich crazy.
 * Radio From Hell (July 18, 2006)


 * Nothing cleans my palette like a polka.
 * Radio From Hell (August 22, 2006)


 * I'm telling you, back in those Wendover days, it wasn't that hard to get it out of me.
 * Radio From Hell (August 31, 2006)


 * Mmmmmm......assey.
 * Radio From Hell (September 7, 2006)


 * It's only due to modern technology that you can be as pleasingly plump as you are.
 * Radio From Hell (September 8, 2006)


 * Since my mother shaved her Hitler mustache, we look nothing alike.
 * Radio From Hell (September 12, 2006)


 * Nothing will wilt spinach like an Egyptian fart.
 * Radio From Hell (September 14, 2006)


 * Let's go stomp those weirdies for Jesus!
 * X96 Big-Ass Show 2006


 * Wouldn't you like a nose like his full of quarters?
 * Radio From Hell (November 7, 2006)


 * I'm not a bottom poker and I never have been.
 * Radio From Hell (October 13, 2006)


 * I've got a woolly worm for ya!
 * Radio From Hell (October 24, 2006)


 * There isn't anything on you, body or brain, that thinks.
 * Radio From Hell (October 31, 2006)


 * I'm gonna go home and spank the clown.
 * Radio From Hell (October 31, 2006)


 * People who read my magazine wax their turtles all the time. - as Larry Flynt
 * Radio From Hell (November 1, 2006)


 * You treat your food like a scab.
 * Radio From Hell (November 6, 2006)


 * Apparently they have The Clap at The Planetarium.
 * Radio From Hell (November 15, 2006)


 * My prostate thanks the car wash.
 * Radio From Hell (November 15, 2006)


 * I always thought Steve Guttenberg had crabs.
 * Radio From Hell (November 28, 2006)


 * I saw a picture of Lou Reed and David Bowie standing together and it looked like an AD for jerky.
 * Radio From Hell (December 4, 2006)


 * Her and her colostomy bag look forward to spending the holidays together.
 * Radio From Hell (December 6, 2006)


 * The juice is guilt.
 * Radio From Hell (January 4, 2007)


 * I'm afraid of passing out in the pit.
 * Radio From Hell (January 4, 2007)


 * You make my ass hurt!
 * Radio From Hell (January 9, 2007)


 * Don't you know who I am!? I'm Chetwar Balabafoo!
 * Radio From Hell (January 23, 2007)


 * I'm telling you, some of them gizzards are good!
 * Radio From Hell (January 29, 2007)


 * I wasn't prepared for what Dora was explorin'.
 * Radio From Hell (January 31, 2007)


 * Life is like a bowl of old bread.
 * Radio From Hell (February 6, 2007)


 * I always say, "Don't let your meat loaf."
 * Radio From Hell (February 6, 2007)


 * You know, that's the first time I've ever been able to smell a website.
 * Radio From Hell (February 6, 2007) - referring to Kip Winger's website


 * I gotta go pinch off a norbit.
 * Radio From Hell (February 8, 2007)


 * Barbaro dog food is dog-gone good.
 * Radio From Hell (February 12, 2007)


 * You're a quirky doctor aren't you? Good, because I have a sore quirky.
 * Radio From Hell (March 15, 2007)


 * Billy Dee Williams once had a one-night stand with Neil Simon.
 * Radio From Hell (March 16, 2007)


 * Hey, would you like a date? I have a hammer!?
 * Radio From Hell (March 19, 2007)


 * Words can hurt, you stupid bitch.
 * Radio From Hell (March 28, 2007)


 * If I'm gonna poke something into it, it's not going to be my finger.
 * Radio From Hell (March 28, 2007)


 * Take my prostate, please!
 * Radio From Hell (April 5, 2007)


 * I hope that holds the little bastards.
 * Radio From Hell (April 5, 2007)


 * I never cry over pie.
 * Radio From Hell (April 18, 2007)


 * She was no breath freshener, I can tell you that right now.
 * Radio From Hell (April 20, 2007)


 * I let the baby drink the butter.
 * Radio From Hell (April 26, 2007)


 * I'm gonna have to scrape off my Dick Trickle sticker.
 * Radio From Hell (May 1, 2007)


 * You clutched my personal hair and ripped it out by the roots.
 * Radio From Hell (May 11, 2007)


 * I used to wear food briefs. They were crumby.
 * Radio From Hell (May 16, 2007)


 * I like cock.
 * Radio From Hell (May 21, 2007) - Referring to the terminology for a male chicken


 * Hello!? Stop by for coitus!
 * Radio From Hell (May 22, 2007)


 * Hey, Dad, I'm going to reassemble this magpie carcass.
 * Radio From Hell (June 11, 2007)


 * I'm too hot to mate.
 * Radio From Hell (June 15, 2007)


 * You haven't tasted my mouth! God!
 * Radio From Hell (July 23, 2007)


 * I like boob-sweat. I have some right now.
 * Radio From Hell (August 1, 2007)


 * I'm telling you, if there were balls to be held, I held them.
 * Radio From Hell (August 7, 2007)


 * I can't run naked; I'm always tripping.
 * Radio From Hell (August 14, 2007)


 * I could do that if they were on my butt-cheeks.
 * Radio From Hell (August 31, 2007)