Billy Bennett

William Robertson Russell Bennett (1887 – June 30, 1942) was one of the leading British music-hall comedians of the years between the two world wars. His monologues often parodied well-known recitations of the time.

Sourced

 * 'Twas the fifteenth anniversary of her twenty-second year, So he smiled at her as sweetly as a hog And asked what present she would like. And jestingly she said: "Your green tie for my little yellow dog."
 * "The Green Tie on the Little Yellow Dog", line 13


 * There's a cockeyed yellow poodle to the north of Conga Pooch; There's a little hot cross bun that's turning green; There's a double-jointed woman doing tricks in Chu-Chin-Chow, And you're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.
 * "The Green Tie on the Little Yellow Dog", line 37


 * She knows I'm a deserter from the Scottish Fusiliers, She knows I stole a blind-man's can...that got me seven years! She knows I've been connected with a gang of West-End Pests, And the police have had me twice inside the cage; And she knows I mix with ladies that have got a shady past, But my mother doesn't know I'm on the stage.
 * "My Mother Doesn't Know I'm on the Stage", line 11


 * And you can't part a boy from his father, You can't part a boy from his dad, You can't part a Scotchman from money No matter how many he's had. You can't part the skin of a sausage Or a dad from his fond son and heir, And you can't part the hair on a bald-headed man For there'll be no parting there.
 * "Daddy", line 33


 * Remember what the Patriarch King Solomon Told his harem on the night they'd had a few: "Teetotalum overcoatum asqua scutum atomack Sonata with tomoto, laringitis, cul de sac." Translation: "If your rhubarb's fallen try and bend it back." That's a motto for the likes of me and you.
 * "Mottoes", line 41

Criticism

 * Billy Bennett – I speak of the artist – was forthright, bawdy, and wholesome…[His] grossness had that gusto about it which is like a high wind blowing over a noisome place.
 * James Agate Immoment Toys (New York, [1945] 1969) p. 225.