Bob's Burgers (season 7)


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Bob's Burgers is an American adult animated sitcom created by Loren Bouchard for Fox. The series centers on the Belchers—parents Bob and Linda, and their children Tina, Gene, and Louise—who run a hamburger restaurant.

Flu-ouise [7.01]

 * Bob: You do not want that flu bug. I had it and it gave me weird fever dreams. I dreamt I was in a book club with my cousin Vanessa,


 * (Air horn blares)
 * Bob: Tina, I thought we took the air horn away from you.
 * Tina: Did you hide it in your underwear drawer?
 * Gene: Yes.
 * Tina: We know about the underwear drawer.
 * Gene: And about your underwear. Not-so-tighty-not-so-whitey!


 * Bob: [Linda's voice] So listen, none shall pass... gas, Oh, Just kidding.

Sea Me Now [7.02]

 * Teddy : You know that boat that I've been fixing up?
 * Louise : Yoooou've mentioned it.
 * Teddy : Well, I finally got her shipshape, and I thought it'd be fun to take you all out.
 * Louise : Kill us?
 * Teddy: No, take you out for a boat ride.

Teen-a Witch [7.03]

 * Mr. Ambrose: Ugggh! You've been a witch for what? Two days? Take it down a notch! You're playing with powerful forces; this is not kids stuff.
 * Tina: I am powerful forces.
 * Mr. Ambrose: Witch, please!

They Serve Horses, Don't They? [7.04]

 * Jimmy: Notice anything different about me?
 * Tina: No, thank you.
 * Jimmy: Eh? Eh? I'm tan! Just got back from a week in the Bahamas. We had a blast. Except for Jimmy Jr. He forgot to put on sunblock. Now he looks like a dog's ding-dong.
 * Tina: Aw!

Large Brother, Where Fart Thou? [7.05]

 * (Doorbell buzzes)
 * Bob : We should build a fort with the cushions.That way, even if he gets in, he won't see us.
 * Gerald the Accountant : Okay, but I'm still sad, so I want my own room in the fort to reflect and figure out where to go from here.
 * Bob: You absolutely deserve that.

The Quirkducers [7.06]

 * Louise Belcher: How you doing girl?
 * Tina Belcher: Um, not great. I feel like my soul has diarrhea.

The Last Gingerbread House on the Left [7.07]

 * Bob: Maybe we should just pack it in. Go home and drink the kind of hot coco

Ex Mach Tina [7.08]

 * Mr. Frond: They're looking for a student to participate in their Robotic Mobility Program. Or rump for short.
 * Tina: Rump? I'm listening.


 * Jimmy Junior: Tinabot, commence to the AV closet. I want to show you something. It's something I haven't shown anyone. Not even Zeke.
 * Tina: Wow, a secret, and a zekeret.

Bob Actually [7.09]

 * Receptionist: Sorry ballroom's been cancelled. The teacher just waltzed out of here. Get it? I'm kidding. She died.


 * Science Teacher: Ok class, today we're going to dissect a banana. We only have 2, so get into groups of 13.


 * Louise: Oh no, if I don't do something about this Regular Sized Rudy is getting big time screwdy.

There's No Business Like Mr. Business Business [7.10]

 * Tina: Maybe this is our wake-up call. We should stop eating cat food.
 * Gene: I have been throwing up on the rug.
 * Tina: So let's do it. We'll have a normal day where we don't think about cat food at all.
 * Gene: Everyone ready to go to the cat food audition today?
 * Tina: Oh damn it.
 * Louise: Atta girl.

A Few 'Gurt Men [7.11]

 * Bob: And we can't forget the most important role of all
 * Tina: With great jury comes great responsibility.

Like Gene for Chocolate [7.12]

 * Gene (after eating new-style chocolate): No, no, no, eh, eh, bleh! (falls on the floor). WHY?! Why, why, why, why, why?!
 * Tina: So not great?
 * Gene: Bleh! Bleh! Bleh! Bleh!
 * Tina: So what's the verdict?
 * Clerk: Hey, hey, hey, hey, kid, you got to pay for that.
 * Gene: Why would they do this to me? Why would they change Chunky Blast Offs? And where's Ronnie? (grabs checkout desk). I want my usual convenience store checkout guy!
 * Clerk: Ronnie joined the Peace Corps.
 * Gene: NOOOOOO!

Some people say that 50 Cent is Chunky Blast Offs.

The Grand Mama-Pest Hotel [7.13]

 * Tina: I'm going to bed. I don't remember which room I'm in but I'm sure I'll recognize the door.
 * Gene: She's going to be wandering around up there all night.
 * Louise: Yup, she belongs to the hotel now.


 * Dillon: I still can't believe your mom. Those were some crazy smother mother moves last night.
 * Tina: Yeah. As Bernadette would say, give me some space.

Aquaticism [7.14]

 * Linda: I like sandwiches.
 * Gene: You smell like you do.
 * Linda: You smell interesting too. You own a toothbrush, or are you still shopping around?

Ain't Miss Debatin [7.15]

 * Henry: Now we need to find some passion in your delivery. What really gets you going?
 * Tina: You mean what makes me tick?
 * Henry: What makes you tick-tick-tick explode? Think of things that get you mad. I think of when they canceled Firefly. You try.
 * Tina: I guess it makes me mad that they call it your bottom when it's in the middle.
 * Henry: Okay.
 * Tina: Or why do horseshoes only come in one style? Why can't they have horse sandals?
 * Henry: Find your Firefly, come on.
 * Tina: I got a Canadian quarter in change. It's worthless unless I take a special trip to Canada to buy gum. [groans]
 * Henry: You'll get there.


 * Bob: It's the best movie of meat dancing and then its head falling off that I've ever seen. Since Magic Mike.


 * Sasha: Tina, you seem to have noticed Duncan, our exchange student from somewhere.
 * Duncan: New Zealand.
 * Sasha: Right. It's so far away that Duncan went through puberty on the plane.
 * Duncan: It's true. I got pit scrubbies and other scrubbies, a couple of chesties. Oh, a new one. Want one?
 * Tina: Um, one of your chesties?
 * Duncan: Yeah. They just twist off. Want me to twist you off a chestie?
 * Tina: Yes? I-I mean no. No. No.
 * Duncan: Sasha, you want one?
 * Sasha: Yeah, I'll take one.


 * Duncan: Buttle Rubbies.

The Laser-inth [7.18]

 * Tina Belcher: What are dinner dolls?
 * Gretchen: You need a doll to eat here. Like some restaurants say jacket required, or ma'am that bathing suit needs a bottom.


 * Scalper: On this paper, you'll find a phone number. It's the direct line to the concession stand inside. Call it, and when the guy picks up, give him the pass phrase.
 * Bob: What's the pass phrase?
 * Scalper: The pass phrase is (whispering, rattled coughing)
 * Bob: Oh, God.
 * Scalper: Word to the wise: two guys work at the concession stand. One is cool, the other is not.
 * Bob: Okay. Um, what are their names?
 * Scalper: They're both named Nick.
 * Bob: Oh. Nice.
 * Scalper: If the uncool Nick answers, hang up right away.
 * Bob: How are we supposed to know which Nick we're talking to?
 * Scalper: You'll know the cool Nick, 'cause, you know, he sounds cool.
 * Bob: Okay.
 * Scalper: Another word to the wise.
 * Bob: Mm.
 * Scalper: The uncool Nick knows we do this, so sometimes he tries to sound cool, and he's very good. It's almost impossible to tell the difference.
 * Bob: Oh, my God.

Paraders of the Lost Float [7.21]

 * Bob: Wait, I know how we can get back in front of Pesto.
 * Gene: Bob, it's not a race.
 * Bob: That's right, it's not a race Lin. It's a war.
 * Gene: It's a race war.
 * Bob: Gene.

Into the Mild [7.22]

 * Austin: Quick question: how big is your crotch?
 * Bob: What?
 * Austin: For your harness. You look like a medium, but I don't want to assume.