Boston Public

Boston Public (2000–2004) was a television series, created by David E. Kelley, about the personal and professional lives of teachers working at a public high school in Boston.

Chapter One [1.1]

 * Scott Guber: Where's Ms. Hendricks?
 * Student: We think she's dead, sir.
 * Scott Guber: And why do you think that, Ms. Washington?
 * [Student points to words on a chalkboard: GONE TO KILL MYSELF, HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!!!]


 * Steven Harper: We do not help kids one by one here. Too many of them, too few of us. We serve masses, hoping more of them make it than don't. And our best results, like it or not, come with policy.


 * Student: Jefferson used to sleep with his slaves. The book don't say nothin' about that. They don't even say how he even had slaves. Washington neither. So I don't see why I should bust my black ass reading about a bunch of lies.
 * Harvey Lipschultz: Well, you see Mr. Jackson, my job is to see that you get your black ass into college. And whether these things in these books be lies or not, your achievement tests that you will be taking are standardized. And you'll have to know all these untruths in order for you to pass them, and how many slaves Jefferson had sex with will not be on the test. And if you fail American History, Mr. Jackson, you'll be sitting here again next year.  And you'll have to listen all over again to what my shriveled, white, Jewish ass has to say.


 * Mr. Harrelson: You told my son that giving him the ball is not the answer. Best he learn that now. Best he learn that in eighth grade, or seventh grade, or even sooner, don't you think, Ms. Davis? Now maybe I failed some things as his dad, but this school failed him, too. These teachers here kept promoting him, didn't they? This school never got him the message. And now you're trying to send it? Now when college scouts are coming, now when football is about to deliver him an education at the University, now you people want to rise up and deliver him the message that athletics ain't everything?

Chapter Two [1.2]

 * Harvey Lipschultz: All through history, when men look at women, they want to have sex. Now, God did this on purpose to ensure the survival of the human species. And he also gave women lumps, known as breasts, to inspire in man the penile urge to procreate. Now, this was very good for mankind, but not for womankind. Now, how could she succeed in this world, and how could she be respected for all her values, when men just want to mount her? Research eventually showed that it was those dangling bouncing breasts that cause special excitement to the man's blood flow. It was determined that the brassiere could stop this dangling, bouncing motion. The man would be less likely to objectify the woman and she would have a fighting chance at equality. You must harness your bosoms in order to squash the discrimination by the male gonads. This country can never maximize its potential until you can achieve equality. That's why I must make a rule, right here, and right now: wear a bra, for the good of the country.


 * Dana Poole: I'm not getting expelled. Guber decided to give me a three-day suspension... Did you have anything to do with it?
 * Harry Senate: Listen to me. Whether or not I did, here's how it's gonna be. You come to me ever again, ever, and try to extort me for anything, I don't care if it's even a hall pass, I'm going to Harper and Guber myself and I'm going to tell them everything. You got that?
 * Dana Poole: Why would you do that?
 * Harry Senate: Because I made a mistake with you, Dana, and I'm not going to make another one.


 * Superintendant Marsha Shinn: "Dragon Lady"? Is that what they call me?
 * Steven Harper: Only when you're in the room.


 * Harvey Lipschultz: My granddaughter Karen, who I thought was you for a second, is just as mischievous with her computer. You two would probably get along.
 * Cheryl Holt: Does she go here?
 * Harvey Lipschultz: No. She lives in Weymouth. Hardly ever leaves the house.  Always with her computer. Knows how to make those virus things that make the websites crash. I know very little about those things. But she wouldn't stop at anything.


 * Lauren Davis: Three siblings. Two are doctors, the other's an investment banker. And to my parents, I'm the one who didn't make anything of herself. I can still hear my father's words: "What a waste, Lauren. You are so smart. You could actually be somebody." Something we battle every day is disrespect. We get it from the kids because it comes from the parents. And look at what we make!
 * Steven Harper: You know what your problem is, Lauren? You don't have any idea how powerful you are. Things you say in that classroom some of those kids are going to remember fifty years from now, even if you've forgotten by the sound of the next bell. Do you like being a teacher?
 * Lauren Davis: I love it.
 * Steven Harper: Then what are you complaining about?

Chapter Three [1.3]

 * Harvey Lipschultz: [to Marla] The kids are already afraid of you because they think you have mental problems. I mean that as a compliment.


 * Harry Senate: The assignment was the read the book. Did anybody read the book?
 * [Silence.]
 * Harry Senate: Jamal, what do you want to be when you grow up?
 * Jamaal: Not a teacher.
 * Harry Senate: You know, as a teacher, it would be inappropriate for me to tell you that you're a total screw-up. So what I want you to do is go home and ask your father, as a favor to me, to tell you that you're a total screw-up. I bet you can't wait to get out into the real world because you're all going to be rich. Companies are going to pay you a ton of money to sit there like lumps and do nothing all day. I want all my books back. Just leave them right here on my desk on your way out because, well, unlike a mind, a book is a terrible thing to waste.


 * Kevin Riley: Think before you speak, Harvey.
 * Marla Hendricks: Then he'd be mute.


 * Harvey Lipschultz: [to the football players] When I was a young boy, there was this baseball player. And the players didn't want him to play because he was different. But when he finally did make it into the game, they found that he could hit and run and catch better than all of them. His name was Jackie Robinson. And he paved the way for the black man to get into the game of baseball, making it a better game. What if it were to turn out that this homosexual could run faster, hit harder and throw that football straighter? We won't know that. We won't know that unless that first team of courage invites him to join the game.  And I would like to think that that team of courage lives right here at Winslow High. Gentlemen, there is nothing more American than football. Be proud. Welcome the gay linebacker into your shower.


 * Marla Hendricks: [to the school board] Let me tell you something, let me tell all of you something. The reason I've had it is because I have to go into a room day after day after damn day and try to break through to a bunch of damn kids who don't want to listen, don't want to learn, and don't want to give me the decency of being quiet. Mr. Senate shot off a gun? I woulda rolled in a big cannon if I knew where to get one. I'd have tried anything. And you show me a teacher who doesn't almost lose his or her mind sometimes, and I'll show you a teacher who's not trying. I can show you some parents who aren't. You send them off to school thinking: job's done. It's up to the teachers now. Well, it doesn't work that way. You got to get in on this, too. Kids coming in every day singing that jingle: those who can't do, teach. They get that from their parents! Well, let me tell you, we're in there doing every damn day, and a lot of the doing we do is parenting! You want to compare failures? Step right up! Who's first?

Chapter Four [1.4]

 * Kevin Riley: [discussing Louisa Fenn's inviting Buttle out on a date] But do you want to go out with her?
 * Milton Buttle: She's female. She's breathing. I'm going through a non-picky phase.


 * Juan Figgis: These history books don't talk about Puerto Rico. Why is that?
 * Harry Senate: Cause we have you to talk about it.

Chapter Five [1.5]

 * Lauren Davis: [on counseling freshmen on birth control] I started preaching abstinence. I'm telling you I felt the habit growing on my head as the words left my mouth.


 * Marla Hendricks: I have four cheeks, Harry. Pick one and bite it.


 * Marla Hendricks: Are you gonna say grace?
 * Harry Senate: Yep. I'm going to thank God that I'm not you.

Chapter Six [1.6]

 * Harry Senate: Lauren, you and I are a disaster.
 * Lauren Davis: I know.
 * Harry Senate: As disasters go, it'd probably be one of the better ones.
 * [They kiss.]
 * Harry Senate: I mean, it's really not a good idea.
 * Lauren Davis: I know.
 * [They kiss again.]

Chapter Seven [1.7]

 * Harry Senate: You know, I doubt this is the first time that one teacher has kissed another.
 * Student: No, it's just... You know, with you...
 * Other student: You're usually kissing students.


 * Harry Senate: Anyone I suppose could contribute to a shelter or help the needy, but it takes a true American to dedicate himself to firearms. And you know what? We need people like you. Our country's getting a bad rep just because we kill each other. Well, that's manly... shooting people. United States, this is were men live. Australia — all their stupid bragging about how tough they are in the outback. They get about... 15 gun homicides a year. What the hell is that? We get ten thousand. The Japanese are even more pathetic. In 1999, for kids between 15 and 19, they didn't have one handgun murder, not one! We had over five thousand! Our teenagers are tough, but it can't happen unless we get the guns out there into their hands. And for that we need committed, good people like all of you. Look at these idiots in Washington who think it's wrong for teenagers to have assault rifles. And the stupid Democrats think we should have ten-day waiting periods. What happens if you need to kill somebody today? Next thing the government will try to crack down on incest and we won't be able to breed future NRA members. I mean, we are talking about the toothless illiterates that make this country great. This is America. Get a gun!

Chapter Eight [1.8]

 * Steven Harper: Last day of school before vacation. What's the word for it?
 * Scott Guber: Halleluah!


 * Lisa Grier: Is this just about sex with you?
 * Milton Buttle: Honestly, no. I can see you as a potential ex-wife.

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 * Milton Buttle: Kevin, you know me. I'm not an impulsive person. I pencil in trips to the bathroom on my day planner.

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 * Marla Hendricks: Harvey, are you all right?
 * Harvey Lipschultz: Ooh, I think I'm gonna die. I feel so warm and fuzzy. What can do that to a person besides death?

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 * Lisa Grier: [to Milton] I don't go to Harvard University. I go to Winslow High. I'm a senior.

Chapter Nine [1.9]

 * Lauren Davis: I wanna go dancing. Women have sex with men to go dancing.
 * Harry Senate: Men go dancing with women to have sex and we've already done that. So why do we need to go dancing?

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 * Scott Guber: Mr. Senate, your class started ten minutes ago.
 * Harry Senate: Excellent. Usually they wait 'til I get here.

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 * Scott Guber: Mr. Senate, is there anything you do not find humoring?
 * Harry Senate: Your tie?

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 * Steven Harper: Why are you here?
 * Harvey Lipschultz: Because vice-president "Hitler" has ordered me to stay here.

Chapter Ten [1.10]

 * Steven Harper: It doesn't offend you when he says it's his job to get your black ass into college?
 * Student: Not really.
 * Steven: Why not?
 * Student: Because he will. That man will get my black ass into college.

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 * Marla Hendricks: [about Lipschultz] Is he a nut? A big one. A racist? Probably. But he doesn't come from hate and the kids know that.
 * Steven Harper: Well, a lot of bigotry here does come from hate, Marla, and his behavior helps foster it, even if it's unintentional. There's no such thing as a benign bigot.

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 * Harvey Lipschultz: I know I'm old-fashioned, but am I a racist?
 * Marla Hendricks: Yes, Harvey, you are an old-fashioned racist.

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 * Mr. Pierce: I don't know whether to hire a lawyer to sue you or leap across that desk and break your neck.
 * Mr. Lick: You'd have more success with a lawyer.

Chapter Eleven [1.11]

 * Jamaal: You know, Mr. Senate? I'm gonna tell you this because I feel like we have a relationship and we can be honest and stuff.
 * Harry Senate: Okay.
 * Jamaal: You really shouldn't try to tell jokes. You're not funny.
 * Harry Senate: All right.

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 * Steven Harper: Did you talk to Tina?
 * Scott Guber: No, I thought I should perhaps bring you in on it since they think of me as a conservative fascist prude.

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 * Harvey Lipschultz: Don't sell yourself short, Marla. You've got a lot to offer. If I were 40 years younger myself... and blind.
 * Marla Hendricks: Oh, if that's not the pot calling the kettle black.
 * Harvey Lipschultz: Why do you have to make everything about race?

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 * Harry Senate: You do realize you'll officially be a grown-up.
 * Lauren Davis: Yes. I plan to eventually drag you into adult-hood too.

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 * Joey: [to Lauren] You know, I suddenly remember why I left you. I was always afraid that one day you'd fall off that soapbox of yours and land on me.

Chapter Twelve [1.12]

 * Christine: I don't want to wrestle!
 * Kevin Riley: Why?
 * Christine: Look, I enjoyed it at first, but after awhile, rolling around the floor with a 200-pound sweating grunting pig who's trying to physically hurt me? The fun wears off.

Chapter Thirteen [1.13]

 * Harry Senate: It's just not like you to clam up.
 * Lauren Davis: Well, if you think I'm clam now, wait until we get into bed.

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 * Lauren Davis: Do you really think that it is appropriate to motivate your students with the message that the smart kids get the pretty girls?
 * Jenna: I never said that.
 * Lauren Davis: Oh.
 * Jenna: What I said is, the smart kids get the girls with the good asses.
 * Lauren Davis: Oh.

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 * Steven Harper: I understand you've had a tragedy with one of your partners and these aren't the happiest of times, but if you think you can intimidate me, not gonna happen.
 * Eleanor: You project nicely. You don't need to be in my face, but while you're here, look into my eyes. Do I look scared? And by the way, you're not better looking up close.
 * Susan: All right, enough with the chest thumping.

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 * Marilyn Sudor: Marla's circulating a petition.
 * Kevin Riley: Great. It's nice to know I have the voice of insanity on my side.

Chapter Fourteen [1.14]

 * Scott Guber: Teaching is my calling, Steven, but it's never been my dream. Dreams are made of sterner stuff.
 * Steven Harper: That's ambition.
 * Scott Guber: Up there, that's a dream. And this experience, I think, will only make conspicuous how... how my life is utterly without song, I guess.

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 * Lauren Davis: Steven, have you lost your mind?
 * Steven Harper: Why does that question keep popping up?

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 * Harvey Lipschultz: Steven.
 * Steven Harper: What?
 * Harvey Lipschultz: I resign.
 * Steven Harper: Why?
 * Harvey Lipschultz: I'm a fossil.
 * Harry Senate: You're just figuring that out?
 * Steven Harper: Harry!

Chapter Fifteen [1.15]

 * Marilyn Sudor: We can win this competition without Tyronn. You guys are awesome. So, we'll get right back into it, and we'll be great, and nobody will get gum disease from bitin' anybody's ass.

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 * Steven Harper: I'm not taking her side.
 * Tina: Then what are you doing?
 * Steven Harper: I'm covering my gigantic ass.

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 * Lisa Grier: Don't tell me what to do, Harry.
 * Harry Senate: It's Mr. Senate to you.
 * Lisa Grier: No, I think it's Harry.
 * Harry Senate: You're a student!
 * Lisa Grier: Which gives me an excuse for all the stuff I pull. What's yours... Harry?

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 * Louisa Fenn: [to Scott] Would you like me to make a list of all the people who don't like you?

Chapter Sixteen [1.16]

 * Marla Hendricks: I got to bed at night thinking of some prince who's gonna swoop in and take me to some exotic island and lick champagne off my naked self. It's my romanticized version, I guess, of wonder and magic. In the real world, my prince, my magic, it's you kids. And some days, when I see your faces go dead, all the wonder just drains out of me. That's all that was happening. I'm better now.

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 * Harvey Lipschultz: It's Harry.
 * Lauren Davis: Harvey!
 * Harvey Lipschultz: You two are at odds.
 * Lauren Davis: We are not at odds.
 * Harvey Lipschultz: Call me crazy then.
 * Lauren Davis: Well, gee, I'd be the first to do that, wouldn't I?
 * Harvey Lipschultz: That was hurtful.

Chapter Seventeen [1.17]

 * Scott Guber: You're suspended, Mr. Connelly.
 * Student: Look, please! If I get suspended, my parents will kill me.
 * Scott Guber: Then perhaps this is goodbye as well. Retrieve your books. Be gone in one hour.

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 * Scott Guber: Do I look like I'm stupid, Ms. Holt?
 * Sheryl Holt: Mr. Guber, if you keep asking those rhetorical questions, one day, somebody will respond, and the answer won't please you.

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 * Harvey Lipschultz: The only reason people study Shakespeare is so they know Shakespeare, so they can walk around pretending that they're smarter then everybody else. It's arrogant. You want to be arrogant snobs, move to England, they love Shakespeare there. It's a nation full of arrogant sex-depraved perverts.

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 * Lauren Davis: You okay?
 * Harry Senate: Oh, well, between us splitting up and me not owning a computer, I don't get to see you naked anymore.

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 * Steven Harper: I can't do it. I got a mother wantin' me to fumigate buses. I got one teacher keepin' secrets that should get him fired, and another teacher who's an old senile bigot who definitely should be fired. I got a student teaching a course for which I'm going to get my ass dragged in front of the school committee, and another teacher appearing naked on a student web site. And I hear you're walkin' around suspending everybody in your path. Is that true?
 * Scott Guber: It is. It's been a good day.

Chapter Eighteen [1.18]

 * Harry Senate: Can we discuss your hair?
 * Patron: Hey, I'm not ashamed to be bald for your information. I just wear a disguise when I come to these places.
 * Harry Senate: Excellent. I bet in real life your teeth are straight too.

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 * Scott Guber: What did you call me?
 * Darren: I called you a lot of things, but I finished up with "autocratic hack."

Chapter Nineteen [1.19]

 * Daniel: [to Lauren] Do you ever fantasize about your students fantasizing about you?

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 * Scott Guber: Mr. Senate, I need a favor.
 * Harry Senate: Is it sexual?
 * Scott Guber: Why must you be depraved at every turn, Mr. Senate?
 * Harry Senate: It's in my character.

Chapter Twenty [1.20]

 * Scott Guber: [to Kevin Jackson] What does it say about how you think of yourself if you were to conclude the only reason I want you on the team is because of the color of your skin? Is that how you view yourself, Mr. Jackson? Are you going to assume the role of black victim every opportunity that comes your way? Every gain, every loss, will simply be the by-product of your ethnicity? Why don't you hustle off to your favorite tattoo parlor and have "woe" stamped onto your forehead. Let me tell you, Mr. Jackson, I have no use for victims on my team, no matter what they come in. You have a talent. It's that talent I'm trying to avail myself of. Forgive me for trying to recognize it in the face of your dogged determination not to.

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 * Marla Hendricks: I know teachers are not supposed to have fun, but it is not against the law for us to smile every so often.

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 * Louisa Fenn: [about Steven Harper] He's in love.
 * Marilyn Sudor: Really?
 * Louisa Fenn: Marie Ronning's mother. She came in to complain about her daughter sniffing bus fumes, now she's sniffing him.

Chapter Twenty-One [1.21]

 * Scott Guber: Did you bury me?
 * Harvey Lipschultz: Why would I do that, Scott?
 * Scott Guber: You buried me.
 * Harvey Lipschultz: Scott, I don't get many chances to get you the hell out of Winslow High. I didn't waste the opportunity.

Chapter Twenty-Two [1.22]

 * Kevin Jackson: [reciting his graduation speech] The truth is, I don't have any big message. I don't even have any dreams. A lot of my classmates, the same thing, no dreams. I think one reason for that, the idea of becoming adults, it isn't something we look forward to. We look around, we see our parents, our coaches, our teachers.... Who'd want to be them? Our parents mainly think about money, our coaches mainly think about winning, and our teachers... most of you look half-dead every day. Don't get me wrong, I admire anybody who can go to a place day after day after day tryin' to teach a bunch of us. But a lot of you are disillusioned, you don't get enough respect. Your days are too long, your checks are too small, and you get a little more dead with each passing day. And we see that, making us just a little more afraid day by day. Afraid of the future. And we got no dreams. The truth is, today's kids are disadvantaged. We didn't get to grow up with any Martin Luther Kings or Bobby Kennedys. They didn't make any Jackie Robinsons in our generation. Today's heroes, they're not presidents. Proud parents today say any kid might grow up to be Alan Greenspan. And we got no dreams. Despite all this, I'm standing up here to say there are heroes among us. Sometimes they're parents, sometimes they're classmates, like Christine Banks or Lisa Grier. Sometimes they're teachers. With me, Harvey Lipschultz. He's a bigot, but he never let me forget every day that I could be something. He took an interest in me. And Mr. Senate? He doesn't know it but he saved my life. There's been a few times I thought about just driving over that center line, but then he started the suicide club and I was too proud to join it. But just knowin' that there were other kids out there struggling with some of the same stuff I was... it helped me get by. Mr. Harper, who's here fightin' for us every day, with eyes that never go dead. When I look at him, I want to be a principal. I guess my big message for today is, heroes are in the grass sometimes. They're not always on billboards and magazine covers. You've gotta look for 'em, even when they stand right in front of you. So, do that. Let's live our lives tryin' to do that. Spot 'em, point 'em out to your kids. Maybe there's dreams out there too. And now, I'll ask all of you to applaud because I'm finished.

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 * Isaac: I admit I was wrong.
 * Scott Guber: In home-schooling your son?
 * Isaac: In thinking you couldn't possibly become a bigger ass. It seems I've never been more mistaken.
 * Scott Guber: Your son does not attend Winslow High. Accordingly, he may not participate in Friday's commencement proceedings.
 * Isaac: I'll try not leave a footprint as I go over your head. I know how you are about your hair.

Chapter Twenty-Four [2.2]

 * Scott Guber: Do you know who Dimitri Schostakovich is?
 * Steven Harper: Scott, I've told you. I like Basketball. I don't really follow Hockey.

Chapter Twenty-Five [2.3]

 * Scott Guber: Keep your voice down.
 * Steven Harper: We're alone.
 * Scott Guber: Louisa listens, the little snoop.
 * Louisa Fenn: I heard that.

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 * Danny Hanson: Can I ask you something? You can tell me if it's a tacky question, but I really gotta know.
 * Ronnie Cooke: Okay.
 * Danny Hanson: As a lawyer, how much money did you make?
 * Ronnie Cooke: That's a tacky question.
 * Danny Hanson: Well, that's not really a deterrent for me actually.

Chapter Twenty-Six [2.4]

 * Danny Hanson: I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. You know the way we tell every student you can be whatever you want to be if you set your mind to it? That's a big lie. Most kids have limits they're never gonna shake. Some are even stupid. But you? You can do what you want... be whatever you want. You're an incredible kid, Debbie. Now, you're crying, which confuses me.
 * Debbie: No one's ever said that to me before.

Chapter Twenty-Seven [2.5]

 * Meredith Peters: Make love to me, Scott.
 * Scott Guber: Well...
 * Meredith Peters: I want you to ravage me.
 * Scott Guber: It's... um... a school night.

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 * Meredith Peters: ...back when I used to nurse him... he would stimulate the nipple.
 * Scott Guber: ..and that intimidates me. I admit it. What if I can't excite her as much as her son does?
 * Meredith Peters: ...and you see, that's how he makes me feel aberrant. I never nursed Jeremy for the purpose of orgasm. It was just... a windfall.

Chapter Twenty-Eight [2.6]

 * Meredith Peters: I don't get today's kids Scott... stealing a teacher's hook.

Chapter Twenty-Nine [2.7]

 * Danny Hanson: You're sick? Huh? You don't look sick to me.
 * Debbie: So? You don't look nuts, but we both know better.

Chapter Thirty [2.8]

 * Big Boy: If your son is gay...
 * Meredith Peters: He can't be! He's good at sports. He simply can't be gay.

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 * Harvey Lipschultz: It's too cold. I can't teach when I see my own breath.
 * Steven Harper: Why, does it look the way it smells?

Chapter Thirty-Two [2.10]

 * Marla Hendricks: He's an institution here. The name Harvey Lipschultz is synonymous with institution.
 * Steven Harper: Because he belongs in one.

Chapter Thirty-Three [2.11]

 * Scott Guber: You lead by example Mr. Senate! You're a hothead!
 * Harry Senate: [to Harper] Ever since he put me in the Dungeon, he disses me... like my students get dissed by all the other kids!

Chapter Thirty-Six [2.14]

 * Meredith Peters: [about her son dating Harper's daughter] ...and may I also say, the idea of my son being involved in an inter-racial relationship would ordinarily cause my veins to shrivel. I don't believe in them. But because it's Brooke, and YOUR daughter, I'm open to it. I think you're both wonderful people.
 * Steven Harper: Thank you?

Chapter Thirty-Seven [2.15]

 * Union Rep: [counselling Danny Hanson not to continue his class discussions about the power of the N-word] The politics on that word could spell the end of your career, and not just at Winslow. Choose another topic. Something lighter ... like the death penalty.

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 * Marla Hendricks: Well you better get into it fast, because the parents …you're gonna have them crawlin' up your ass! Not to mention teachers, students, and me! …and I'm not gonna be squiggly like a itty bitty little gerbil! I promise you that!
 * Steven Harper: I can do without the imagery, Marla.

Chapter Thirty-Eight [2.16]

 * Father: Sylvie doesn't take drugs, Ms. Hendricks.
 * Marla Hendricks: I'm not suggesting that. She may have unknowingly ingested something. Let's not forget about anthrax... and even shellfish! There's something going on with the shellfish these days. They're scavengers you know. God knows what they eat! And the drug boats... they see the coast guard coming... they dump the stuff overboard... the shellfish could be on drugs... does she like shrimp?

Chapter Forty [2.18]

 * Louisa Fenn: Harvey I'm half black, they call it a mulatto.
 * Harvey Lipschultz: Sounds like a cookie.

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 * Harvey Lipschultz: [to his newly found son] I don't know whether you came looking...well....for a relationship or not you know...people that have had one with me quickly come to regret it...

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 * Marla Hendricks: [to Scott Guber about Winslow's grading system] Look Scott, who's kidding who? The grading system here is all over the place. I mean, you've got a better shot at fairness going to the Olympics...as a figure skater.

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 * Marla Hendricks: Harvey, Helen is dead. And as for your reputation... it's in worse shape than Helen.

Chapter Forty-Three [2.21]

 * Harvey Lipschultz: Look Marilyn, a teacher has to pick his battles. We say: "don't drink", "don't do drugs", "don't smoke" …then you want to add "don't eat your hair." They just start to tune you out.

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 * Jamaal: I think my brother killed someone yesterday.
 * Harry Senate: You have to turn yourself in. Mrs. Hendrix already recognized you; others will too.

Chapter Forty-Seven [3.3]

 * Steven Harper: AND YOU! PUNCHING A WOMAN?
 * Danny Hanson: Not for nothing, but Title 9 says we can hit them now.

Chapter Forty-Nine [3.5]
Mr. Johnson: You wanna know why I got no money? [plays a piano solo] I get music, and I get how seductive it can be. It's like your guts are telling you "This is what I was meant to do." It's almost spiritual. What could be better then that?

Chapter Fifty-Seven [3.13]

 * Kimberly Woods: [on the phone with Ronnie] Sheila broke into my apartment.
 * Ronnie Cooke: You're sure someone was in your apartment?
 * [Kimberly looks at obscene graffiti on the wall.]
 * Kimberly Woods: Yes, I'm sure.

Chapter Sixty-Two [3.18]

 * Scott Guber: The little man has been spotted on school grounds. I've got out an all-points bulletin.
 * Steven Harper: How'd he get past security?
 * Scott Guber: Went right under them!

Chapter Sixty-Nine [4.3]

 * Harvey Lipschultz: I should have asked him to bless me.
 * Danny Hanson: You're Jewish, Harvey. You don't believe in Christ.
 * Harvey Lipschultz: I've been wrong before! Why not hedge my bets?

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 * Marla Hendricks: Just because a white boy can sing doesn’t make him Jesus.

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 * Ronnie Cooke: [referring to Mike]] I need to get his parents in here tomorrow first thing.
 * Mike: My father is God and my mother is the Virgin Mary. I don’t think they are available.

Chapter Eighty-One [4.15]

 * Henry: [after being caught hugging a female student] What's the big deal? The kid was crying. Some boy named Tristan or Clayton or whatever, he blew her off and dumped her.
 * Steven Harper: And you felt the appropriate response was to put your arms around her?
 * Henry: Yeah.
 * Ronnie Cooke: You do realize how this could look, don't you?
 * Henry: What, that I hugged a girl who was crying? Um...like I'm a nice guy?
 * Ronnie Cooke: You had your arms around a 17-year-old girl, the door was closed, and she was wearing a mini-skirt.
 * Henry: Well, I didn't pick out her clothes this morning.

Cast

 * Chi McBride - Steven Harper
 * Anthony Heald - Scott Guber
 * Loretta Devine - Marla Hendricks
 * Nicky Katt - Harry Senate
 * Sharon Leal - Marilyn Sudor
 * Fyvush Finkel - Harvey Lipschultz
 * Jeri Ryan - Ronnie Cooke [Seasons 2-4]
 * Michael Rapaport - Danny Hanson [Seasons 2-4]
 * Jessalyn Gilsig - Lauren Davis [Seasons 1-2]
 * Rashida Jones - Louisa Fenn [Seasons 1-2]
 * Joey Slotnick - Milton Buttle [Season 1]
 * Thomas McCarthy - Coach Kevin Riley [Season 1]
 * Bianca Kajlich - Lisa Grier [Season 1]
 * Leslie Jordan - Dr. Harris [Season 2]
 * Kathy Baker - Meredith Peters [Season 2]
 * Michelle Monaghan - Kimberly Woods [Season 3]
 * Jon Abrahams - Zach Fischer [Season 3]
 * Joey McIntyre - Colin Flynn [Season 3]
 * Cara DeLizia - Marcie Kendall [Season 3]
 * China Jesusita Shavers - Brooke Harper [Season 3]
 * Sarah Thompson - Dana Poole
 * John Francis Daley - Anthony Ward
 * Debbi Morgan - Superintendant Marsha Shinn
 * Lamya Jezek - Sheryl Holt