Cannonball Run II

Cannonball Run II is a 1984 American comedy film, released by Warner Bros. and Golden Harvest. Like the original Cannonball Run, it is set around an illegal cross-country race.

Victor Prinzi

 * My Aunt Millie took a vow of chastity. She had headaches allllll the time.

Other

 * Shiek: Here is to good luck. May it all be mine.

Dialogue

 * Don Canneloni: In the past, the Canneloni family was the most powerful of the families. We controlled drugs, prostitution, extortion, prostitution, gambling...
 * Slim: Uh, you said "prostitution" twice.
 * Don Canneloni: Well, I like it.


 * Fenderbaum: It's General Patton and general admission.
 * [he and Blake laugh]
 * J.J. McClure: Heckle and Jeckle dressed as cops. They oughta arrest their minds for vagrancy.


 * CHP Officer: What are you boys trying to pull?
 * J.J. McClure: There's been a nuclear meltdown and we're transporting some contaminated materials to Connecticut.
 * CHP Officer: Well, why Connecticut?
 * J.J. McClure: They ran out.


 * Blake: We're gonna die. We're gonna die, we're gonna die. What do you think they're gonna do to us?
 * Fenderbaum: I don't know what they're gonna do to you, but since Mr. T ain't here, I'll be too busy licking their boots to see.


 * King: How come you have a blond, blue-eyed slave?
 * Shiek: He's an actor. Hasn't had a series in seven years.
 * The Slapper: Nine.


 * [Jill and Marcie are looking under the hood of their car. Mack is gazing at their breasts]
 * Marcie: Does it look bad?
 * Mack: Not from where I'm standing.
 * Jill: Oh, can you fix it then?
 * Mack: Honey, I've got a tool that'll fix anything.


 * Blake: Is the Blimp driving?
 * Fenderbaum: No, it's the General.
 * Blake: The General? Oh, I'm gonna make a private outta him.


 * Jill: Aw, come on. It'll be a weekend you'll never forget.
 * Mechanic: All three of us?
 * Marcie: It's gonna be a weekend you can tell your kids about. If they're all boys.


 * Tony: We've put our heads together, and we've decided we're gonna rip off the Arab, on the road, during the car race.
 * Don Don Canneloni: Oh, you put your heads together, huh? IT MUST'VE SOUNDED LIKE A BOWLING ALLEY.


 * Captain Chaos: J.J. ... Long time, no see.
 * J.J. McClure: Nice to see you, Captain Chaos.
 * Captain Chaos: Have no fear, "Him" is here.


 * Jill: You know, Marcie, we've got this routine down.
 * Marcie: Yeah. I think we're ready for the Cannonball.
 * Jill: Oh, I think so. How far is Redondo beach?
 * Marcie: 150 miles.
 * Jill: Hah. An hour flat.
 * Marcie: What're we waiting for?
 * Both LET'S GO.


 * Hymie Kaplan: Friend or foe?
 * Arnold: Guess.

Cast

 * Burt Reynolds - J.J. McClure
 * Dom DeLuise - Victor Prinzi/Captain Chaos
 * Dean Martin - Jamie Blake
 * Sammy Davis, Jr. - Morris Fenderbaum
 * Jamie Farr - Sheik Abdul Ben Falafel
 * Ricardo Montalbán - King Abdul Ben Falafel
 * Telly Savalas - Hymie Kaplan
 * Marilu Henner - Betty
 * Shirley MacLaine - Veronica
 * Susan Anton - Jill Rivers
 * Catherine Bach - Marcie Thatcher
 * Foster Brooks, Sid Caesar and Louis Nye - the fishermen in the rowboat
 * Jackie Chan - Jackie Chan, Mitsubishi engineer
 * Richard Kiel - Arnold
 * Tim Conway and Don Knotts - California Highway Patrol officers
 * Mel Tillis - Mel
 * Tony Danza - Terry
 * Jack Elam - Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing
 * Charles Nelson Reilly - Don Don Canneloni
 * Michael V. Gazzo - Sonny
 * Alex Rocco - Tony
 * Henry Silva - Slim
 * Abe Vigoda - Caesar
 * Jim Nabors - Private Homer Lyle (final film role)
 * Molly Picon - Mrs. Goldfarb
 * Frank Sinatra - Frank Sinatra
 * Joe Theismann - Mack
 * Shawn Weatherly - the girl in Jamie Blake's bed
 * Dale Ishimoto - a Japanese businessman
 * Arte Johnson - an "ace" pilot
 * Fred Dryer - California Highway Patrol officer
 * Chris Lemmon - a young California Highway Patrol officer
 * George Lindsey - Uncle Cal
 * Doug McClure - The Sheik's servant
 * Jilly Rizzo - Jilly
 * Dub Taylor - a sheriff
 * Hal Needham - a Porsche 928 driver (uncredited) (final film role)