Career Opportunities (film)

Career Opportunities is a 1991 American romantic comedy film about the daughter of the town's wealthiest businessman who faces problems at home and gets locked in a store overnight with the janitor, the town failure.
 * Directed by Bryan Gordon. Written and produced by John Hughes.

He took the job that no one wanted...and got the girl that everyone did.taglines

Jim Dodge

 * Any little fraulein who expects anything more from me than a little bit of pleasure, a little bit of danger, and a great set of pectorals, she's looking for a fall right on her ass.


 * [to himself] She's so beautiful. And I'm the town liar.

Dialogue

 * [on his first day as Target janitor (night cleanup boy), Jim Dodge meets the Custodian, who points a rifle at him]
 * Custodian: Are you a slacker?
 * Jim Dodge: No... Presbyterian actually.
 * Custodian: What did you say? What did you say? Now I'm asking you a simple question: Are you lazy?


 * Jim Dodge: I'm getting a feeling that you want me out of your life.
 * Bud Dodge: I don't want you out of my life, I want you out of my house.


 * Gil Kinney: You know, if my foot could talk...
 * Nestor Pyle: Easy...
 * Gil Kinney: ...it would say, "May I please go up this geek's ass?!"


 * Officer Don: Mr. McClellan, do you ever have any family problems, you and your daughter?
 * Roger Roy McClellan: What the hell do you think he is?
 * Officer Don: You got a point.


 * Josie McClellan: [after eating dinner] Shouldn't you be cleaning up the store?
 * Jim Dodge: [puffing cigar] I've got plenty of time.
 * Josie McClellan: It's a big store.
 * Jim Dodge: Huge.
 * Josie McClellan: Always smoke cigars?
 * Jim Dodge: I enjoy a good one after a fine meal. It settles the stomach.
 * Josie McClellan: You're the town liar, right?
 * Jim Dodge: What?
 * Josie McClellan: I'm sorry, that... ah, that really came out wrong.
 * Jim Dodge: As if something like that could come out right.


 * Josie McClellan: And you're happy, you know. You're happy.
 * Jim Dodge: I'm not happy. I'm working nights, everybody thinks I'm a liar, my whole family's laughing at me... Reverand Harwell gave me the finger last week!


 * Jim Dodge: I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I've had dreams about you.
 * Josie McClellan: You've had dreams about me?
 * Jim Dodge: [defensively:] Not recently. [shaking his head] I've had... dreams about you in the past. I've had dreams about entire cheerleading squads, don't get me wrong. [laughs] Kid's stuff, you know. How about you?
 * Josie McClellan: Do I dream? It's about all I do.


 * Josie McClellan: I don't think you see what I'm getting at.
 * Jim Dodge: I see what you're getting at. I'm a lying monk with an Oedipus complex and an appetite for home cooking. Don't forget, you are the indecisive shoplifter.
 * Josie McClellan: [elated jump] Yes! Exactly! I would do anything to be in your shoes.
 * Jim Dodge: These are Darnell's shoes.
 * Josie McClellan: You know, you have freedom, and you're not using it. It makes me sad.
 * Jim Dodge: Well, you have the collective wealth of the entire town, and you're trying to get yourself arrested, now that makes me sad.
 * Josie McClellan: It makes me sad too.
 * Jim Dodge: It's pretty stupid.
 * Josie McClellan: It's very stupid.
 * Jim Dodge: Are you serious? I mean, you haven't been drinking? This isn't the bottle talking?
 * Josie McClellan: No.
 * Jim Dodge: Then why don't you just talk to the guy?
 * Josie McClellan: For the same reason you can't leave home. I can't tell my father to go to hell.
 * Jim Dodge: Why not?
 * Josie McClellan: Because I don't want to be alone.


 * Jim Dodge: I look at my high school yearbook, and I don't see four fabulous years. Actually, what I'm reminded of, is what it feels like to have my underwear yanked up my ass by some big football player with arms like telephone poles.
 * Josie McClellan: Okay, and where are those guys now?
 * Jim Dodge: [self-effacing] I know they're not working nights at Target, I can tell you that. [aiming a playful slap at her shoulder]
 * Josie McClellan: [laughs] Yeah, you know, I look at my yearbook, and I see four fabulous years... that are gonna be the highlight of my life.
 * Jim Dodge: Here's what it's like. First, you feel a hand going down the back of your pants, and tighten around the elastic waistband, and then...
 * Josie McClellan: Highlight.
 * Jim Dodge: Sometimes I'd actually see stars.
 * Josie McClellan: [muttering to herself] It's not gonna get any better.
 * Jim Dodge: And if I was particularly unlucky, my shorts would, like, rip completely free, and I would get this really drastic fabric...
 * Josie McClellan: [bothered] Do you hear me?
 * Jim Dodge: Yeah.
 * Josie McClellan: I don't really care about a graphic description of a childhood prank.
 * Jim Dodge: Hey, that prank was a motif in my life.
 * Josie McClellan: You know, I'm... locked... in this store here... because I didn't have the guts to steal a skirt so that I could get arrested and embarrass my father in this... this stupid, desperate, childish, pathetic attempt to leave home. [scoffs] You have your underwear yanked up your ass. I have my entire life yanked up my ass!


 * Josie McClellan: Would you go with me somewhere?
 * Jim Dodge: Where?
 * Josie McClellan: Florida. Wyoming, Spain. It doesn't really matter, just away somewhere.
 * Jim Dodge: I'd love to. I just can't afford to be... capricious and carefree like yourself. I... I... I got to set my sights on something and then really go for it.
 * Josie McClellan: Like janitor?
 * Jim Dodge: It's a beginning. I... I'm looking at...
 * Josie McClellan: It's an end.

Taglines

 * He took the job that no one wanted...and got the girl that everyone did.
 * Maximum comedy at minimum wage!

Cast

 * Frank Whaley - Jim Dodge
 * Jennifer Connelly - Josie McClellan
 * Dermot Mulroney - Nestor Pyle
 * Kieran Mulroney - Gil Kinney
 * John M. Jackson - Bud Dodge
 * Jenny O'Hara - Dotty Dodge
 * Noble Willingham - Roger Roy McClellan
 * William Forsythe - the Store Custodian
 * John Candy (uncredited) - the manager of the Target store