Close Enough

 is an American adult animated sitcom created by JG Quintel for HBO Max. The series revolves around a millennial couple named Josh and Emily who were in their early 30's with their 5-year-old daughter, Candice, and their divorced friends, Alexander and Bridgette, who lives with them at a duplex in Los Angeles, California.

Quilty Pleasures

 * Calamari: My name is Calamari. And these are my friends—Walleye, Tilapia, Troutface, and Scrode.
 * Scrode: It's pronounced "Scrawd"!


 * Josh: We're not your parents!
 * Calamari: Of course you are. That was the price for the quilt, remember? Remember? [spiders crawl out of her mouth]

The Perfect House

 * Josh: Hey, how'd you guys get here so fast? I only ordered it like 20 minutes ago.
 * Delivery Guy: Says here you ordered it three days ago.
 * Josh: THREE DAYS?! Where the hell is Emily?!

Logan's Run'd

 * Jaxon: So what's up girl? Wanna come back to my crib?
 * Bridgette: Okay, but just a hang out. I'm not some YouTube croupy.
 * Jaxon: That's cool. We'll do a little screen time. PBS Kids and chill. Get my mom to whoop us up get some snacks.
 * Bridgette: Oh, you still live with your mom?
 * Jaxon: And weekends with my dad's. He's so strong.
 * Bridgette: Wait, how old are you?
 * Jaxon: Me? I just turned 26. [Bridgette sighs] Months. 26 months.
 * Bridgette: What?

Room Parents

 * Nikki: Do you work out? Actually, don't answer; I wanna find out organically.

Skate Dad

 * [as Josh gets sent to an ambulance]
 * Candice: Daddy, what's an ass knife?
 * Josh: Uh, huh. That's a different lesson!

100% No Stress Day

 * [Josh, Alex and Candice sneak in and hide behind a wooden crate and hey watch the meat being produced]
 * Candice: Aw sick! Look at what they're putting in the meat!
 * [the Wurst Bros employees pouring dead animal parts into the meat processing machines]
 * Alex: That is...so gross.
 * Josh: Dude, look up there! [reads a pig-shaped sign reading "Not Stolen Hams"] I bet there's hams in there.
 * [a muscular man approaches Josh and Alex from behind and bangs their heads together, knocking them out. Candice is left untouched]
 * Muscular Man: Factory Tour's on Thursdays. [he picks up Candice] Hello sweetie, I have the perfect place for you.

Robot Tutor

 * Emily: [sees Candice leave her seat] Candice, what are you doing?
 * Candice: Proving I'm not dumb!
 * Commercial Bot: No matter. I'm password protected. [Candice types up the password] You'll never guess my-

Golden Gamer

 * Student: It's like that dude Sisyphus. He kept trying to push that car up the mountain, but he couldn't handle it, and he quit.
 * Alex: Eh, technically, Sisyphus couldn't quit. But you know what? You got most of it.
 * Lee: Well, check this out, Dorp. You're our Sisyphus.
 * Alex: [tears of joy] Wah, wah, wee, wah.

Josh Gets Shredded

 * Candice: Let's play King Kong.
 * [Josh tosses Candice up into the air; his back breaks when he catches her]
 * Candice: Uh, dad?
 * Josh: AAAAAAH!

Sauceface

 * Candice: This wasn't how it was supposed to go. I just wanted to make a little cash, have a little fun. But sometimes, even the best plans… can leave a skid-mark in your shorts. To understand how we got here, you've gotta know the legend. The legend… of Sauceface.

Houseguest from Hell

 * [Two weeks later…]
 * Bridgette: [angrily knocking on the bathroom door and opens it while Becca is showering] BECCA! You have been in there for three hours! I need to shower!
 * Becca: Thank you so much! I would love a nice coffee.

Joint Break

 * Pearle: [on the phone with the insurance man] Oh, really? Well, tell me, Mr. Insurance Man, how on Earth is a partial hip replacement considered elective surgery?! No, you read the fine print of your medical plan for more information! [hangs up angrily] After giving the police force the best years of my life, all they give me in return is some aspirin and a prescription for water aerobics?!
 * Randy: Those bastards!
 * Pearle: Don't you talk about the LAPD that way!
 * Randy: But you-- But you just said--
 * Pearle: Once a cop, always a cop, Randy.
 * Randy: Why not give the water aerobics a try? They say it's not just for old people.
 * Pearle: [opens the prescription brochure, showing an image of a coffin floating in the pool] I'm too young for this shit.

Haunted Couch

 * Josh: [carrying an old white couch with Alex] We got a street couch!
 * Emily: Oh, hell no! We agreed, no more garbage furniture!
 * Josh: [whining] But I want it! Oh, we got that savings account you wanted.
 * Emily: But we needed that! [exhales sharply] Fine.
 * Josh: Yes! Excuse us, ladies.

Handy

 * Randy: Those examples are bullshit and you know it! I'm gonna do what troubled young men have done for centuries… Go to sea.

Birthdaze

 * [Josh and Emily return to the adult party in the garage and all the parents have gone completely out of control, creating a raucous]
 * Trish: Oh, my God. Wouldn't it be funny if we all made out?
 * Jojo: Ha, let's get naked and fight! [punches Ted in the face]
 * Ted: Ow! I'm down.
 * Emily: [shocked in horror] What the butt?! We were gone for five minutes!
 * Bridgette: What'd you expect? You gave a bunch of parents a keg. Everyone knows once you have kids you can't hold your liquor.
 * Jojo: Hey, what's the first rule of naked fight club?


 * [The parents exit the garage and start making fun of The Amazing Sardini as Josh and Emily try to settle them down]
 * Ted: Fake thumb!
 * Party guest: Magic sucks!
 * Jojo: Suck your own [bleep]!
 * Amazing Sardini: Ma'am! There are children here!

Hellspital

 * Josh: Man, I don't like this. You seem pretty sick.
 * Alex: Oh, yeah? Could a guy who's… pretty sick mail a letter? [later crawls outside over to the mailbox to mail a letter]
 * Josh: Alex, are you okay?
 * Alex: Nailed it.
 * Josh: You threw up on the way over here.
 * Alex: Yeah. As a joke.
 * [Emily, Bridgette, Pearle, and Randy come out]
 * Emily: Okay. We're taking you to a doctor.
 * Alex: Doctor? No! I said no doctors! Doctors have killed many people in history than Genghis Khan and Chaka Khan combined.
 * Pearle: Alex, would you relax? I see like 50 doctors a week. They don't kill people.
 * Alex: Why don't you tell that to my dad?! [groans weakly as he walks back inside]
 * Candice: Awkwa-a-ard.


 * Alex: I-I think you took a wrong turn, Pearle.
 * Pearle: Oh, uh, we're taking a different route.
 * Alex: Oh, okay. Hold on. How did I not know about this screening? I have like six different Google alerts for "Viking Timelord marathon." [realizes in horrified shock] Wait a minute. THIS IS THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL!!!

Candice Candice Revolution

 * Imaginary Robin Hood: Fair Candice! It is I, an 80%-On-Model-Robin Hood. Rules are completely meaningless. Go forth and do whatever you want.
 * Candice: Really?
 * Imaginary Robin Hood: Of course! Doing whatever you feel like is the key to happiness. Your mind has now been blown in 3, 2, 1!

Bridgette the Brain

 * [Josh, Emily, Bridgette, and Candice arrive at the Hashima lab to meet Bridgette's younger sister, Olivia, and their mother]
 * Olivia: Hey, sis. [she and her sister hug] Can't believe you actually made it.
 * Mrs. Hashima: Hello, everyone!
 * Emily: Hi, Mrs. Hashima. And thanks so much for us, Olivia.
 * Mrs. Hashima: She's "Doctor Olivia" now.
 * Bridgette: [scoffs] She's not a real doctor, she just stayed in school too long.


 * Bridgette: [picks up an intelli pill from the bowl and walks into the hallway] I'll show them smart. [swallows the pill and an electric bolt elevates up from her spine to her brain] Huh? I guess it doesn't work. AAGH! [falls onto her knees] Mind on fire. Hypotenuse! Parthenogenesis! "Star Trek" continuity!


 * Bridgette: [panting] Ljubljana is in Slovenia!
 * Mrs. Hashima: Now that's more like it!
 * Olivia: Okay, so she learned to Google, big deal.
 * Emily: Bridge, are you alright?
 * Bridgette: [weakly] I think I need to go home.


 * Bridgette: [after inventing a Mind-agra pill] 1,000 milligrams of bio-optimized, quick-release nootropic cognitive enhancement. [takes out her phone] Science, bitch! [shutter clicks a selfie]


 * Bridgette: [clapping slowly] Wow, cool pill… if you like bullshit! Hit it, Alex! [walks up on the stage] Behold! Mind-agra! [holds up a Mind-agra pill the air and the audience gasps in amazement]
 * Olivia: [shocked] No! But how? [Bridgette wipes her bangs, revealing her increased head; gasps] Bitch took my pill! [runs over to her mother] Mom! She stole my pill and reverse engineered it! Do something!
 * Mrs. Hashima: Like what? It's about time Bridgette did something useful. [gets up from her seat and walks up on the stage]
 * Bridgette: [as her sister runs up and swipes the bottle out of her hand] Hey!
 * Olivia: [dumps out a pill and swallows it, causing her brain to increase a bit as she groans] I…understand! [speedily draws a hypothesis on the chalkboard] I did it! I proved the Riemann hypothesis, the most important unsolved problem in pure mathematics!
 * [The audience cheers and applause for Olivia as Mrs. Hashima raises up her hand]
 * Man in Audience: Eat shit, Riemann!
 * Audience: [chanting] Olivia! Olivia! Olivia!
 * Bridgette: It's on!
 * [The Hashima sisters keep on gulping down Mind-agra pills and both their brains increase bigger]
 * Olivia: I can see the Internet!
 * Bridgette: I can manipulate gravity! [she and her sister both hover into the air] Don't worry, I'll keep this short.
 * Olivia: Like your bangs?
 * Bridgette: I'll KILL YOU! [launches herself at her sister and pushes her through the roof of a studio]
 * Candice: Science is awesome!

Never Meet Your Heroes

 * Alex: [clears throat] "Eons ago…"
 * Emily: [outraged] What the [bleep]?!
 * Josh: This sucks!
 * Bridgette: It makes me want to kill myself!
 * Josh: You've made me hate reading more than I already do! [takes the flat screen TV off the wall and throws it, making it explode]
 * Alex: Wait, what?! Is it really that bad?
 * Bridgette: Let's kick him in the nuts!


 * Josh: [in Candice's body] Whoa! Everyone's freakin' huge!
 * Candice: [in Emily's body] Hell, yeah, I'm old enough to cuss!
 * Bridgette: [in Alex's body] I'm literally inside my ex. My therapist is gonna love this.
 * Emily: [in Josh's body] Wait. So who's in Bridgette?
 * Jack Kleghorn: [in Bridgette's body] That's Sir Bridgette!

Legend of the Pier

 * Josh: Lotta cars.
 * Alex: [spots a car, thinking it's about to backup] Aha! See? A space is opening up as we speak. [the car's tale lights go off; annoyingly honks the horn, unaware that the driver is doing her taxes]
 * Driver: [gets out of her car and runs to Alex's car; irately] I'M DOING MY TAXES, DICKWEED! [viciously slams her fists on the hood; Alex and Josh scream and drive away] I'm gonna deduct your head from your body!

Match Made In Valhalla

 * Bridgette: [last lines] Already with the excuses.

Cast

 * as Joshua "Josh" Singleton
 * as Emily Ramirez
 * as Candice Ramirez-Singleton
 * as Alex Dorpenberger
 * as Bridgette Hashima
 * as Pearle Watson
 * as Randy Watson