Clue (film)



Clue is a 1985 U.S. comedy film based on the boardgame Clue (a.k.a. Cluedo). The film uses the characters and murder mystery premise of the boardgame as the basis for a quickfire farce.
 * Directed by Jonathan Lynn. Written by John Landis and Jonathan Lynn.

It's Not Just A Game Anymore.taglines



Dialogue

 * Col. Mustard: I prefer Kipling myself. "The female of the species is more deadly than the male." Do you like Kipling, Miss Scarlet?
 * Miss Scarlet: Sure, I'll eat anything.




 * Col. Mustard: Wadsworth, am I right in thinking there's nobody else in this house?
 * Wadsworth: Um... no.
 * Col. Mustard: Then there is someone else in this house?
 * Wadsworth: Sorry, I said "no" meaning "yes."
 * Col. Mustard: "No" meaning "yes?" Look, I want a straight answer, is there someone else, or isn't there, yes, or no?
 * Wadsworth: No.
 * Col. Mustard: No there is, or no there isn't?
 * Wadsworth: Yes.
 * Mrs. White: [Smashes glass on fireplace] PLEASE! Don't you think we should get that man out of the house before he finds out what's been going on here!
 * [Drops the rest of the glass with a crash]
 * Miss Scarlet: Yeah!
 * Professor Plum: How can we throw him outside in this weather?
 * Miss Scarlet: If we let him stay in the house, he may get suspicious!
 * Professor Plum: If we throw him out, he may get even more suspicious!
 * Col. Mustard: If I were him, I'd be suspicious already!
 * Mrs. Peacock: [hysterical] Oh, who cares? That guy doesn't matter! Let him stay locked up for another half an hour. The police will be here by then... and there are two dead bodies in the study!
 * All: Shhhhhhhhhhh!
 * Col. Mustard: Well, there is still some confusion as to whether or not there is anybody else in this house!
 * Wadsworth: I told you, there isn't.
 * Col. Mustard: There isn't any confusion, or there isn't anybody else?
 * Wadsworth: Either! Or both.
 * Col. Mustard: Just give me a clear answer!
 * Wadsworth: Certainly! [clears throat] What was the question?
 * Col. Mustard: [shouting] Is there anybody else in this house?
 * All: [shouting] No!


 * Wadsworth: I'm merely a humble butler.
 * Col. Mustard: What exactly do you do?
 * Wadsworth: I buttle, sir.


 * Wadsworth: Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur.
 * Professor Plum: Yes, but now I work for the United Nations.
 * Wadsworth: So I see your work has not changed.


 * Mrs. Peacock: Yvette, is there a little girls' room in the hall?
 * Yvette: Oui, oui, madame.
 * Mrs. Peacock: No, I just I wanna powder my nose.


 * Wadsworth: Mrs. White, you've been paying our friend, the blackmailer, ever since your husband died under, shall we say, mysterious circumstances?
 * Miss Scarlet: Ah!  [laughs]
 * Mrs. White: Why is that funny?
 * Miss Scarlet: I see! That's why he was lying on his back, in his coffin.
 * Mrs. White: I didn't kill him.
 * Col. Mustard: Then why are you paying the blackmailer?
 * Mrs. White: I don't want a scandal, do I? We had had a very humiliating public confrontation. He was deranged. A lunatic. He didn't actually seem to like me very much; he had threatened to kill me in public.
 * Miss Scarlet: Why would he wanna kill you in public?
 * Wadsworth: I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her.
 * Miss Scarlet: Oh. Was that his final word on the matter?
 * Mrs. White: Being killed is pretty final, wouldn't you say?
 * Wadsworth: And yet, he was the one who died, not you, Mrs. White, not you!
 * Miss Scarlet: What did he do for a living?
 * Mrs. White: He was a scientist, nuclear physics.
 * Miss Scarlet: What was he like?
 * Mrs. White: He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. I mean, I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died, but, he was found dead at home. His head had been cut off, and so had his, uh... you *know*.
 * [Colonel Mustard, Professor Plum, and Mr. Green cross legs]
 * Mrs. White: I had been out all evening at the movies.
 * Miss Scarlet: Do you miss him?
 * Mrs. White: Well, it's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life.
 * Wadsworth: But, he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared.
 * Mrs. White: But that was his job. He was an illusionist.
 * Wadsworth: But he never reappeared!
 * Mrs. White: [admittedly] He wasn't a very good illusionist.


 * Col. Mustard: [indignant] Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?!
 * Wadsworth: [dryly] You don't need any help from me, sir.
 * Col. Mustard: That's right!


 * [after catching Mrs. Peacock in the second ending]
 * Wadsworth: You see, like the Mounties, we always get our man!
 * Mr. Green: Mrs. Peacock was a man?!
 * [Colonel Mustard and Wadsworth each slap him]
 * Wadsworth: Would anyone care for fruit or dessert?


 * [In the third ending]
 * Wadsworth: You were jealous that your husband was schtupping Yvette. That's why you killed him, too.
 * Mrs. White: Yes. Yes, I did it. I killed Yvette. I hated her, so much...it flames, flames on the side of my face, breathing, heaving breaths, heaving...


 * Professor Plum: It must've been Mr. Green who shot the singing telegram!
 * Mr. Green: I didn't do it!
 * Col. Mustard: Well, there's nobody else left!
 * Mr. Green: But I didn't do it! The gun is missing! Whoever's got the gun shot the girl!
 * [Wadsworth draws the gun]
 * Wadsworth: I shot her.
 * Col. Mustard, Mrs. Peacock, Mrs. White, Ms. Scarlet, Prof. Plum: You?!
 * Mr. Green: So it was you. I was going to expose you.
 * Wadsworth: I know. So I choose to expose myself.
 * Col. Mustard: Please! There are ladies present.
 * Wadsworth: You thought Mr. Boddy was dead, but why? None of you even met him until tonight.
 * Mr. Green: You're Mr. Boddy!
 * [Wadsworth grins and laughs]
 * Prof. Plum: Wait a minute! So who did I kill?
 * Wadsworth: My butler.
 * Prof. Plum: Oh, shucks.
 * Wadsworth: He was expendable, like all of you. I'm grateful to you all for disposing of my network of spies and informers. Saved me a lot of trouble. Now there's no evidence against me.
 * Mrs. White: This all has nothing to do with my disappearing nuclear physicist husband or Colonel Mustard's work on the new top secret fusion bomb?
 * Wadsworth: No. Communism is just a red herring.
 * Mr. Green: But the police will be here any minute. You'll never get away with this, any of you.
 * Wadsworth: Why should the police come? Nobody's called them.
 * Mrs. Peacock: You mean-- Oh, my God! Of course!
 * Wadsworth: So why shouldn't we get away with it? We'll stack the bodies in the cellar, lock it, leave quietly one at a time, and forget that any of this ever happened.
 * Mr. Green: And you'll just- just go on blackmailing us all.
 * Wadsworth: Of course. Why not?
 * Mr. Green: Well, I'll tell you why not.
 * [he draws a revolver, and shoots Wadsworth; Wadsworth drops his gun]
 * Wadsworth: Oh, good shot, Green! [slumps to the floor, reaches a hand inside his coat, and looks at the blood on his fingers] And very good. [He dies]


 * Mrs. White: Are you a cop?
 * Mr. Green: No, I'm a plant.
 * Ms. Scarlet: A plant? I thought men like you were usually called a fruit.
 * Mr. Green: Very funny. [displays a badge in his wallet] FBI. That call from J. Edgar Hoover was for me. [heads to the front door] I told you I didn't do it!
 * [he opens the front door and the police rush in]
 * Chief: All right, who done it?
 * [Mustard, White, Scarlet, Peacock and Plum all start arguing.]
 * Mr. Green: They all did it! But if you wanna know who killed Mr. Boddy, I did, in the hall, with the revolver. Okay, Chief, take 'em away. I'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife.

Taglines

 * It's Not Just A Game Anymore.
 * Murder, madness, mystery, and mayhem. More fun than you can imagine.
 * Seven Suspects, Six Weapons, Five Bodies and Three Endings.

Cast

 * Eileen Brennan - Mrs. Peacock
 * Tim Curry - Wadsworth
 * Madeline Kahn - Mrs. White
 * Christopher Lloyd - Prof. Plum
 * Michael McKean - Mr. Green
 * Martin Mull - Col. Mustard
 * Lesley Ann Warren - Miss Scarlet
 * Colleen Camp - Yvette
 * Lee Ving - Mr. Boddy