Condorman

Condorman is a 1981 adventure/comedy superhero film from Walt Disney Productions. Inspired by Robert Sheckley's The Game of X, the movie follows comic book illustrator Woodrow Wilkin's attempts to assist in the defection of a female Soviet KGB agent.

Woody Wilkins

 * Who can save Princess Juliet - held captive by the evil Count Lorca? Who can save the city? Who? [pauses to put on goggles; in a deeper voice] Who... this is a job - for CONDORMAN!


 * Condorman - vulture of the Western world. [takes drink, looks surprised, spews jet of flame]


 * [after accidentally firing his machine-gun walking stick] That's a hair-trigger!

Krokov

 * Have you seen this report on this Condorman? Or this man Wilkins? He is an AMATEUR, do you hear? He is NOT an agent of the CIA! He is a WRITER OF COMIC BOOKS!

Harry Oslo

 * [as Condorman drops into the Seine] Flap, Woody! Flap!


 * Woody, you're a great cartoonist, and you're a great comic book writer - but you're a lousy bird.

Dialogue

 * Turkish waiter: Your order, sir?
 * Woody Wilkins: [indicates Natlia's drink] I'll have one of those.
 * Turkish waiter: One Istanbul Express.
 * Woody Wilkins: Yes. A double.
 * Turkish waiter: [surprised] A double? Nobody orders the double, sir!
 * Woody Wilkins: Okay. Make it a triple.


 * Woody Wilkins: [sitting up in the snow after falling from a cable broken by the KGB] I think they're gone! We can move now!
 * Harry Oslo: I... may... never... move... again.
 * [collapses into snow]


 * Natalia: [Natalia has just discovered that Woody is not a real agent] Harry, who are you?
 * Harry Oslo: Huh?
 * Natalia: [holds up one of Woody's comic books] Woody is Condorman, I am Laser Lady! Who are you?
 * Harry Oslo: [looking resigned] How'd ya find out?
 * Natalia: [indicating the gaggle of children around her] The children here read comic books, too.
 * Harry Oslo: [sighs] Let's take a walk.


 * Woody Wilkins: Rupel for your thoughts...
 * [puts arm around Natalia]
 * Natalia: [puts her arm around Woody] When I parted from Krokov, I promised myself I would never love again... a man of deception. But now I know there is deception, and deception...
 * Woody Wilkins: I don't understand...
 * Natalia: But I do. [smiles] When I go to America, and reading the Sunday funnies, and eating my Big Mac, and planning for the senior prom...
 * Woody Wilkins: [interrupts] You may have missed the prom...
 * Natalia: ...I would like it very much, if I could pick up my American telephone, call my friend Woody, and say... come over and be *diplomatic* with me.
 * [smiles coyly]
 * Woody Wilkins: I'll bring the dip, if you bring the dostoevsky.
 * Natalia: [looks at Woody, confused]
 * Woody Wilkins: That's a yes.


 * Krokov: [turns on the lamp] Hello, Natalia. Welcome home.
 * Natalia: Sergei. I didn't expect you.
 * Krokov: I'm sure you didn't, my dear. Nor did I expect you to travel to Istanbul to meet our American friend.
 * Natalia: As I was going to tell you about. The meeting was supposed to be a civilian operation, eh? They sent a *top* agent. He was good.
 * [steps behind the dressing screen to change clothes]
 * Natalia: Very smooth. And very tough. Almost as tough as you, Sergei.
 * Krokov: And his name? Surely, when you were finding out how... tough... and how smooth he was, you found out his name?
 * Natalia: He called himself Condorman.
 * Krokov: Condorman? Quaint. But he is good. The way he handled those tree turks was impressive. But, you were stupid to be seen by a Chinese agent. And I cannot afford costly mistakes. Oh, my dear Natalia, that is why I have changed my mind about talking you with me to Monte Carlo. You need to be... re-educated, on the, teachings, of our masters.

Cast

 * Michael Crawford - Woodrow "Woody" Wilkins
 * Oliver Reed - Krokov
 * Barbara Carrera - Natalia Rambova
 * James Hampton - Harry Oslo
 * Jean-Pierre Kalfon - Morovich
 * Dana Elcar - Russ
 * Vernon Dobtcheff - Russian agent
 * Robert Arden - CIA Chief