Countdown (game show)

Countdown is a British game show currently hosted by Jeff Stelling and Rachel Riley. It was the first program to be broadcast on Channel 4, in 1982.

Cast

 * Richard Whiteley
 * Carol Vorderman
 * Jo Brand
 * Susie Dent
 * Gyles Brandreth
 * Des Lynam
 * Des O'Connor
 * Jeff Stelling
 * Rachel Riley

Series Premiere (2 November 1982)
Richard Whiteley: As a countdown to a brand new channel ends, a brand new Countdown begins.

7 January 1991
(The word "wankers" was produced in the Letters Game. Both contestants, Lawrence Pearce and Gino Corr, declared it. The round was played again because of the offensive word, but the out-take has featured on many clips shows. Brandreth was special guest at the time.)
 * Pearce: Not sure if I dare say this one, WANKERS.
 * Whiteley: Well, there seems to be no problem with the word "wankers". Be interesting to see if that's not in the dictionary. Gino?
 * Corr: We're a pair of WANKERS.
 * Brandreth: They anticipated my next line: What is Richard Whiteley doing asking for a definition of...?

"Gotcha" Episode (25 November 1998)

 * (OMETHINGS appears on the board)
 * Amanda: I've got 5.


 * Whiteley: What?! 5? OK well how about you?


 * Max: No, 6. (Whiteley puts his head in his hands in disbelief)


 * Amanda: I've got diarrhoea! (referring to her answer)


 * Whiteley: Well, fantastic! What have you got, Richard?


 * Max: Yeah, I've got diarrhoea too!


 * Dictionary Corner: I have to say, we've got diarrhoea as well! (to Whiteley) Have you not got diarrhoea?


 * Whiteley: No, it's pathetic isn't it?


 * Dictionary Corner: Well, it's a collection of bowels incontinence!


 * Whiteley: I think this show is a wind-up for me!


 * [After pressing his buzzer and being told its not the Conundrum]


 * Max: Well, I've got a limmerick:
 * There was an old man called Whiteley


 * Who's puns were always said frightfully


 * He took some Viagra, and now like Niagara


 * He rushes and gushes twice nightly!




 * (a Numbers Game with 75, 2, 6, 3, 8, 7; the target is 623)


 * Max: Yeah I've got it.


 * Whiteley: Lets hear it.


 * Max: 6.....2 3.
 * Carol: What, like that? (writes 623 on the board)


 * Carol: No, you can't do that.


 * Max: Is that not in the rules, didn't it say that?


 * Whiteley: No, no it didn't.


 * Max: Are you sure?


 * Whiteley: YES IT DID!


 * Whiteley: Richard, look me in the eye. (Max looks at Whiteley) You know you're talking a load of bollocks, don't you?


 * Amanda: (to Whiteley) Can you tell me the answer to the Conundrum?


 * Noel Edmonds: (to Whiteley while giving him his Gotcha Award) Well, a short time ago you were the only person without diarrhoea, how are you now?


 * Whiteley: I've got it now, I can tell you!

27 September 2001

 * (context: The letter F has appeared on the letters board.)
 * Contestant: And a vowel.
 * Carol: A.
 * Contestant: Consonant.
 * Carol: R.
 * Contestant: Consonant.
 * (The letter T appears, making the letters selection FART.) (Laughter)
 * Carol: T!
 * Richard: I've been waiting 19 years for this moment.
 * Carol: I know! (Laughter) That stays in!
 * Richard: Yeah, I agree. It stays in, that. We're not editing that out.
 * Carol: Carry on, folks.
 * Richard: Let's carry on.
 * Contestant: Can I have a vowel please, Carol.
 * Carol: A vowel. (The letter I appears, making the letters selection FARTI) (Laughter) I!

11 May 2007

 * (Context: The letters selection is EAIPDCRQP)
 * Des O'Connor: Let's have your seven first, Eileen.
 * Eileen: CRAPPED. (Laughter)
 * Des: CRAPPED? I think that's, er... (Looking at Dictionary Corner) You're not looking that up are you, CRAPPED? And what have you got, Nick?
 * Nick: CRAPPIE.
 * Des: CRAPPIE. Right. What else have we got?
 * Richard Digance: It's just...at times like this, you just go through motions really, don't you? (Laughter)

21 October 2008

 * Des: What's your seven, Allan?
 * Allan: SPANKER.
 * Des: SPANKER, and yours Charlie?
 * Charlie: I can't resist, sorry. WANKERS. (bleeped, laughter)
 * Susie: Yeah, right!

12 January 2009

 * (Context:Stelling and Riley's first episode.)
 * Jeff: It's cold and it's damp and it's miserable and the electricity bill and the phone bill and the gas bill have all arrived on the same day and it's still six months until the Summer holidays. But are we downhearted?
 * Audience: NO!
 * Jeff: No, we are not because Countdown is back. (Applause) And I know! I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Who the heck am I?" Well, Stelling is the name. Six consonants, two vowels and, in truth, the words I'm more used to are "foul", "penalty", "referee", "blind as a bat"...
 * Umm, look, we're a couple of new faces and we've got a sparkling new set as well here, but rest assured that this is the same Countdown you've grown to love over the years.

25 August 2009

 * Jeff: What have you got, Ed?
 * Ed: Eight
 * Jeff: And Paul?
 * Paul: Eight
 * Jeff: Let's have yours first, Paul
 * Paul: Sorry about this, it's BASTARDS (bleeped)
 * Jeff: Errm, Ed?
 * Ed: Glad I didn't have to say that, same word.

14 September 2009

 * (Context:Jo Brand is in Dictionary Corner alongside lexicographer Susie Dent. They are asked for any words which they can find by host Jeff Stelling.)
 * Jo: I've got a nine, actually. I know, it's quite impressive, isn't it Jeff?
 * Jeff: Very impressive, very impressive.
 * Jo: Anyway, my cat wasn't very well recently. I think she got attacked by another cat and...it kind of got a...a kind of a cut and it...it kind of got very sore and [the cat] started weeping a bit. Anyway, the vet said it was PUSSIEROT. (Laughter) Sorry. I'm trying my best. I'm sorry.
 * Jeff: Susie, anything to match PUSSIEROT? (Laughter)
 * Susie: I really hope not.