D2: The Mighty Ducks

D2: The Mighty Ducks is a 1994 American sports comedy-drama film directed by Sam Weisman that was released on March 25, 1994. It is a sequel to the 1992 film, The Mighty Ducks.

Dialogue

 * Gordon: [to Jan] Hans couldn't make it?
 * Jan: Now don't get me started with that strudel-head. He went back to the old country for the summer, left me to run the shop all by myself. He wanted to see our mother. She loved him more, you know.


 * Jan: For breakfast, my specialty: Jan's has-
 * Gordon and Charlie: -enpfeffer and eggs.
 * Jan: Ja.
 * Gordon: Thought I'd smelled something burning.
 * Jan: [referring to Charlie] I see you've met my new apprentice.
 * Charlie: Jan told me you did this job when you were my age.
 * Gordon: That's right, and I hope he pays you more than he paid me.
 * Charlie: You got paid?
 * Jan: [quickly] Eat everybody, before the hasenpfeffer gets cold.


 * Gordon: Haven't you guys been training in the off-season?
 * Averman: You know, I knew we forgot something.


 * Dwayne: Yee-haw! How's everybody? Y'all ready to play some puck?
 * Jesse: Hey, look, it's Hop-Along Gretzky! [rest of the Ducks laugh]
 * Tibbles: That's Dwayne Robertson, from Austin. He's the best puck handler I've ever seen.
 * Gordon: You mean, for his age.
 * Tibbles: No, I don't.


 * Gordon: [Sees Portman for the first time] That guy's a teenager?
 * Portman: [Skating along, singing to music on his headphones, knocking Ducks players over as he does so] "Don't you know that everything's on FIRE?"
 * Tibbles: Uh, yeah, hormones.
 * Gordon: He's a goon!
 * Portman: [Knocks another player over and puts his arm around Dwayne] C'mon, Tex, sing it with me! [Dwayne shakes his head, Portman continues on] "Everything's..." [pushes another player over and tosses his stick to Julie] Here you go, sweetie!
 * Gordon: My kids don't play that kind of hockey.
 * Tibbles: I believe they're called "enforcers", Gordon. And when you play Iceland, you're gonna need him.


 * [The following day, training begins in earnest. Gordon gathers the Ducks, or Team USA, as they are now called, onto the rink. He hobbles them together into a line, but ties them to each other with packing cord]
 * Dwayne: This is more crowded than a truckload of goats.
 * Averman: Yecch. Somebody licked me!
 * [Gordon walks back and forth in front of the team]
 * Gordon: I can't think of any fashion to make it clearer. You are a team. To win this fact, we're going to need to work as one. Now be ONE–––skate!
 * [The children start moving, but in separate directions. The rope yanks them back, and they topple over each other into a confused heap of chickens]
 * Gordon: Everyone goes their own fashion, everyone falls down. Now get up and do it again!
 * [After several tries, Team USA is able to move slowly, very slowly, in the same direction. As he is satisfied that they are working as a team again, Gordon unties them and hands the rope to Dwayne]
 * Gordon: Alright, Rancher Dwayne. Go round me up some stray calf. [Then he promises double dessert to the last player left standing]
 * [The children take off, free-skating in all directions. Dwayne grins as he ties the rope into a lariat and takes off after them. He twirls the rope and easily lassos Goldberg first. Dwayne guides Goldberg off the ice as if he are bringing a cow in for branding]
 * [Dwayne returns to the ice and begins lassoing players as though he are scoring points in a video game. Connie, Luis, Averman, Jesse, Julie, Charlie. One by one, Dwayne lassos them and takes them off the ice]
 * [There are only three players left: Ken, Banks and Portman]
 * [Ken tries to twirl off, but is caught by Dwayne's loop in mid-pirouette. Upon seeing this, Portman decides he has eventually seen enough. He goes on the offensive. He charges Dwayne like a mad bull. Dwayne flees across the ice, but until he is a safe distance apart, he does a sharp about-face. Portman shoots past Dwayne and never sees the rope until it circles around his waist and jerks him to a dead stop]
 * [The workout is over]
 * [Everyone is watching Adam Banks start in on his second cup of pudding until Tibbles enters the dining hall. He is pushing a cloth-covered cart into the center of the room]
 * Tibbles: I know you athletes need your food, but let me interrupt you for a moment. Winning the Junior Goodwill Games is more than just a victory. It's a chance to be immortalized in a time-honored tradition.
 * [With that said, Tibbles ceremoniously whips the cloth off the cart to reveal a huge, oversize box of USA Crunch cereal. Plastered across the front of the box is a photograph of Gordon and the team]
 * [Gordon can't help but grin]
 * Dwayne: Hey, that's us!
 * Tibbles: Today it's a cereal box. Tomorrow it's video games, action figures, lunch boxes. Perhaps they'll even make a movie about you. Stranger facts have happened. Now, just where everybody knows who you are, put away these old Duck jerseys because from now on you'll be wearing these!
 * [Tibbles opens the cereal box and pulls out a bunch of beautiful red-white-and-blue warm-up suits with Team USA embroidered across the front and Hendrix sews down the sleeves]
 * [Portman, Luis, Julie, Dwayne and Ken scramble for their new uniforms. But the old Ducks hesitate. They don't like the idea of giving up the Mighty Ducks]
 * Charlie: This stuff has Hendrix written all over it.
 * Gordon: They're our sponsors, Charlie.
 * Charlie: Then what? Why can't we be USA Ducks or at least keep our Duck colors?
 * Gordon: Charlie, it's business stuff. [The fact is, he explains, they aren't the Ducks anymore. They are a new team. Team USA]
 * [Seeing his picture on the front of the cereal box, Gordon knows he isn't the coach of the Ducks anymore, either. He is the coach of Team USA]
 * [As far as he's worried, the Ducks are history]


 * Averman: [to Gordon] Nice haircut. What, ya lose a bet?


 * Russ: Hey, Goldberg! I bet if that puck was a cheeseburger, you'd stop it! [laughs]


 * Gordon: This isn't a hockey game. It's a circus.


 * Averman: [about Team Iceland] We can't make it. Iceland's bigger, stronger, faster, they got more facial hair.


 * Dwayne: Where I come from, we treat ladies with respect!
 * Connie: Thank you, Dwayne, but I'm no lady. I'm a DUCK!


 * Wolf "The Dentist" Stansson: Gunnar, you lost it for me.
 * Gunnar Stahl: You lost it for yourself.

Taglines

 * The puck stops here! The Mighty Ducks are back.

Cast

 * Emilio Estevez as Gordon Bombay
 * Michael Tucker as Tibbles
 * Jan Rubeš as Jan
 * Carsten Norgaard as Wolf "The Dentist" Stansson
 * Kathryn Erbe as Michelle McKay
 * Joshua Jackson as Charlie Conway
 * Elden Henson as Fulton Reed
 * Shaun Weiss as Greg Goldberg
 * Brandon Adams as Jesse Hall
 * Vincent Larusso as Adam Banks
 * Marguerite Moreau as Connie Moreau
 * Matt Doherty as Les Averman
 * Kenan Thompson as Russ Tyler
 * Aaron Lohr as Dean Portman
 * Colombe Jacobsen as Julie Gaffney
 * Mike Vitar as Luis Mendoza
 * Ty 'O Neal as Dwayne Robinson
 * Justin Wong as Ken Wu
 * Scott Whyte as Gunnar Stahl