DC League of Super-Pets

 is a 2022 American computer-animated superhero comedy film produced by and based on the DC Comics superhero team. The film stars Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Kate McKinnon, John Krasinski, Vanessa Bayer, Natasha Lyonne, Diego Luna, Marc Maron, Thomas Middleditch, Ben Schwartz, and Keanu Reeves.
 * Directed by . Written by Stern and John Whittington.

All pets have secrets, theirs are super. (taglines)

Krypto

 * Alright, wake up, buddy! It is walk o'clock.
 * [repeated line] Pup, up and away!
 * [repeated line] Squeezy Bruce!
 * [about the invisible jet] Yeah, none of this stuff is invisible. It's really more transparent.
 * Bad owner!
 * And I will remain here, posing under my secret identity. [puts on his glasses] Bark Kent!
 * My best friend is in danger and you have to help me!
 * [jumps in front of Ace] Stop right there and cease your unlawful activities, dog I've never met.
 * [about the Solar Paw Punch] The punch causes a blast which takes out not only the villain who gets hit with the blow but the hero who throws it.
 * [repeated line] Relax. We'll be fine.
 * That must be that vile rodent. Don't worry, Superman, I won't rest until I rescue you!
 * I started this with one best friend to save, and now I have four more.
 * Ace, attack! I'll be fine. [Lulu: You'll be a pancake!]
 * Super-Pets, activate!

Superman

 * You forgot one thing, Lex. Unlike you, I have friends.
 * What's gotten into you? Bad dog! [Krypto: What did you just call me? That's way outta line, fella. I mean, if you want…] We'll talk about this when I get home.

Cyborg

 * Uh, did somebody call some tech support? Have you tried turning it off and on again?
 * I can't do anything while they got me stuck in airplane mode.
 * [to Mark] Hey, smoky! You look a little burnt out. Need a light?

Ace

 * I should be a lot more dead right now, right?
 * We'll help you get your dumb owner back. You've got yourself a super team.
 * You ain't normal, man.
 * So it begins.
 * That's cold, man.
 * I'm a wild animal.
 * Oh, you think you're so great, don't you, Superdog?
 * Those guys? Well, they suck visibly. Yes, I-I-I can agree with you there. But they're stronger than you think.
 * Smell is the sight of the nose.
 * [after Krypto leaves] You believe that dog? Has an emotional breakthrough, gets his powers back, and then bounces.
 * You know what they say about dogs? [Krypto: Never feed us chocolate.] We love unconditionally.
 * The farm upstate. An untamed paradise where animals run free and they love and protect one another. And the lettuce grows on trees. No shelter lady watching our every move. Nope! It's a 100% animal farm. [PB: That doesn't sound ominous at all.] It's perfect. And when I get us all outta here, well, that's where we're gonna go.

Batman

 * I miss my parents.
 * Hey! Stop chewing on that Batarang! Bruce Wayne paid a lot of money for that, and then gave it to me as a present.
 * [about Squeezy Bruce] That better be a licensed toy or I will freak out.

PB

 * Still working out the kinks. I didn't see anything.
 * Don't you want to be adopted and feel the warm embrace of a middle-aged man who lives alone?
 * Oh my gosh, Wonder Woman has, like, right where I'm sitting. And there's a peanut wedged in the crack of the seat. And now, I'm eating her peanut.

Merton

 * Where the [bleep] am I?
 * You win this round, lettuce.
 * In your face, lettuce! [eats a leaf of lettuce]
 * [to a Garfield window clinger] What's happening, handsome? C'mon, we're both grown-ups. Don't leave me hangin', okay? [chuckles]
 * None of you are turtles! This explains so much!
 * I’m fast now, but I still can’t see [bleep].
 * Ring, ring! Hello, who's there? The League of Super-Pets!

Chip

 * Great. I'm the only one who didn't get any superpow— [lightning shoots out of his paws]
 * You're super strong! And your tail is now made of fire!
 * We're never fine!
 * Okay. You can do this, Chip. Get out of your HEAD!

Lex Luthor

 * [has orange Kryptonite in his hand] I am what I was always meant to become!
 * I'll destroy you all!
 * Any last words? Mmm! I love saying that.
 * [last words, sighs] I always knew this is how it would end for me.

Lulu

 * Kal-El, son of Jor-El, I am Lulu, daughter of Cinnamon, and you will kneel before me! [squeaking]
 * [repeated line] Hamster?
 * A hamster is a hacky sack. A hamster is a mouse that had too much for lunch. We are guinea pigs. And when we're through with you, buster, you'll know it!
 * A hamster is just a dollar-store gerbil! A hamster is a chipmunk with nothing interesting going on fur-wise.
 * [to Mercy] Shove it. I'm his favorite henchman, not you, you piece of [squeaking]
 * Oh, you want the truth? The boots are a bit much.

Keith

 * This water guy does. Hey, my name's Keith.
 * Um, actually, I think we'd just rather stay here.
 * We even have Spanish class every miercoles.
 * We can answer that.

Mark

 * Yeah, I mean, we get summers off, all-you-can-drink water.
 * Krypto, there's a bomb on the rocket.
 * We're just coughing. Go!
 * Oh, look at me!
 * I'm Mark. And your name?

Others

 * Dog-El: [repeated line] Yes, it is I, Dog-El.
 * Mercy: Yeah, I don't get paid enough for this, no. [elevator door closes]
 * Lois Lane: [sees Superman thrown out the window] Why does this always happen on date night?
 * Corgi: [after turning into a giant blue monstrosity] I ATE THE FEDEX GUY.

Dialogue

 * Krypto: What is new with you, fellow normal dog?
 * Corgi: I bit the guy the other day.
 * Krypto: Ah, fine job. Who was he working for? ? The Legion of Doom?
 * Corgi: FedEx.
 * Krypto: Of course! The Federation of Exes. Not to be trusted.
 * Corgi: [turns away] What is taking my owner so long?


 * [As Ace escapes the animal shelter, he runs into Krypto]
 * Ace: Oh. Man, that hurt.
 * Krypto: Yes. And that hurt me as well, due to the fact that I feel pain as any ordinary canine would.
 * Ace: [pause] Uh-huh. Anyway, I'm kind of in a middle of a prison break, so could you please...?
 * Krypto: "Prison break"? [flies and lands in front of Ace] Stop right there and cease your unlawful activities, dog I've never met.
 * Ace: The heck you talkin' about, man? You the same dog that was literally just behind me.
 * Krypto: Impossible. That dog wore glasses. [pause] Now, surrender. I don't wanna hurt you.
 * Ace: Oh, okay, so you wanna take it there. You wanna throw paws? Then fine. But I should warn you, I'm ⅛ boxer!
 * Krypto: [places his paw on Ace's face] And ⅞ chihuahua.
 * Ace: Chihuahuas are vicious! [still struggling] Take that! Take a little bit of this! Tap out and I'll let you out. [Krypto yawns] Here comes the thunder! You're gonna get it! [fakes pain] AAH!!! Oh man, I'm gettin' a stitch. Yeah, I gotta take a knee. Oh, if I didn't get this stitch, I had you where I wanted you. Ah, banana! Get me-Get me a banana. Hurry up! [tries to make a run for it, but Krypto freezes him at his feet] That's cold, man.


 * Superman: Hey, Lois. [sees Krypto] Oh! [pause] Oh. Listen, buddy, I...
 * Krypto: It is pie week. You choice: her or me. [flies up and growls]
 * Superman: What's gotten into you? [turns Krypto back] Bad dog!
 * Krypto: [taken aback] What did you just call me? That is way outta line, fella. I mean, if you want... [interrupted by Superman]
 * Superman: We'll talk about this when I get home. [closes the door when he leaves]
 * Krypto: [sulks for a moment until the door opens, happily] Oh, I've missed you so much!
 * Superman: You left Squeezy Bruce in the hallway again. [throws Squeezy Bruce]
 * Krypto: Fine. I'll watch the crusts crisp alone. [picks up the bowl of popcorn] Bad owner! [flies in the room]


 * Krypto: Look, I know these powers are new to you, but when one has an abundance of power, they have a certain duty to use that power to... [interrupted by Ace who is peeing]
 * Ace: Sorry. You were saying something?
 * Krypto: I was making an inspiring hero speech. [Ace continues peeing] How much did you have to drink?
 * Ace: I had two toilet bowls and a bidet. A bidet, too, which is crazy. I didn't even know that was a thing, but it's like a dog water fountain.
 * Krypto: You disgusting animal.


 * [now, we see a close-up of Lulu's face]
 * Lulu: Terrifying villains, deadly assassins, I have come to recruit you for a siege of murderous savagery! [staring at Lulu, ten guinea pigs, two of them, and each one of them, in each cage, munch on food] My fellow, furrier guinea pigs. I have sought you out because you're apex predators. Gods amongst men! [still munching, the guinea pigs continue to stare at her] OK, look. Pig to pig, I need your help because my owner has gotten himself into a bit of a pickle. [with her powers, Lulu summons a TV which shows a newscast of Lex]
 * Newscaster: [voiceover] Thwarted by the Justice League, Lex Luthor now finds himself behind bars.
 * Lex: I'll destroy you all!
 * [the TV pauses]
 * Lulu: That's my best friend. [chuckles] And mentor. Best friend and mentor. Ahem. [presses play on the remote with her foot]
 * Newscaster: [voiceover] Built to house fearsome superpowered criminals, Stryker's Island is the world's most inescapable prison.
 * Lulu: Which is where you dorks come in. You see, if I'm gonna get Lex outta this dump, I'm gonna need an army. [she rips open the doors of the cages as the guinea pigs squeak]
 * [The camera then focuses on two guinea pigs; a white one, and a brown one. The white guinea pig's name is Keith, and the brown one's name is Mark]
 * Keith: Um, actually, I think we'd just rather stay here.
 * Mark: Yeah, I mean, we get summers off, all-you-can-drink water. [beside him, a dark gray guinea pig drinks water from a sipping bottle]
 * Keith: We even have Spanish class every miercoles.
 * Lulu: Uh, you have nothing... [holds the shard of orange Kryptonite] ...until you've licked from the cold steel straw of power!
 * [the guineas pigs walk out of their cages and toward the glowing orange light]


 * Krypto: Is this really the best way to find Superman? Because to me, this just seems gross.
 * Ace: What do you mean gross? Smelling stuff is one of the greatest joys of being a dog, next to licking any part of your body. I mean, I lick myself all the time.
 * Krypto: Well, that explains the breath.


 * Krypto: [sighs] It's walk o'clock.
 * Ace: What o'what?
 * Krypto: Nothing. [sits down]
 * Ace: Okay, 'cause it sounded like a super adorable nickname you got for your walks with your owner.
 * Krypto: Alright. Maybe this was when me and Supes used to hang out. [sadly] Every morning, since I was a puppy.
 * PB: Aw. Well, you might not have your Superman, but at least you have us. A whole super team! The Mighty Oink, Squirrelverine, Droolo.
 * Ace: [confused] Seriously? "Droolo"?
 * PB: Hey, wait, where's Shell on Wheels? Shell?
 * Merton: [laughs offscreen, the scene cuts to Merton talking to a construction worker hat] What's happenin', sweet cheeks? [laughs again] Ah, I get it. The strong silent type. Who needs words?
 * Krypto: [pause] Man, I wish I still had my powers.
 * Ace: Yeah, what happened to them anyway?
 * Krypto: I ate some green Kryptonite.
 * PB: A Kryptonian's only weakness.
 * Merton: Why would you eat your weakness, ya dum-dum?
 * Krypto: It was in some cheese.
 * PB: A dog's only weakness.
 * Ace: Well, I ate a toy dinosaur once. If we're goin' off that, I'd say you probably got a solid 2 days until that thing passes. Well, unless it's a, and then you just pray.


 * Krypto: Ace, deploy canine shield.
 * Ace: What is a canine…?
 * [Krypto shoves him off the building as they fall towards the guinea pigs. Mark breathes fire at them]
 * Krypto: Evade!
 * [they jump off of Ace as he is engulfed by the flames. Krypto, PB, Chip and Merton land on the ground safely as Ace lands hard on the ground]
 * Krypto: Excellent shielding! That seemed incredibly painful.
 * Ace: [groans] Anybody want to switch powers?


 * Krypto: Ace, what you did for that little girl...
 * Ace: Nah, it was nothin'. I just did what any dog would do.
 * Krypto: And they just...gave you away?
 * Ace: I don't blame them. They were just protecting their kid.
 * Krypto: But you saved her.
 * Ace: And I'd do it again. Wosrt day of my life, but I wouldn't change a thing about it.
 * Krypto: Why not?
 * Ace: Well, when you love somebody, I mean, you really love them, you gotta be willin' to do anything for 'em. Even if that means letting 'em go.
 * Krypto: Even if it hurts?
 * Ace: Hmph. Especially then. You know what they say about dogs, don't you?
 * Krypto: Never feed us chocolate.
 * Ace: We love unconditionally.


 * Whiskers: [laughs maniacally] I'm gonna rip you limb from limb.
 * Krypto: Okay, Chip, time to light that kitty up.
 * Chip: But what if the demonic laser gato devours me, or all of us, or she only spares me and I forever CARRY THE GUILT OF SURVIVAL?
 * Krypto: Chip, we all go to dark places. I thought about throwing Lois Lane in the ocean. But you can't spend the rest of your life stuck in your own head.
 * Chip: You're right. It is really scary in here. [gains confidence] Okay, you can do this, Chip. Get out of your HEAD! [lightning shoots from his hands]


 * Superman: This is amazing!
 * Wonder Woman: Yes! Humanity is saved.
 * Superman: No! My baby made friends! [pause] If you all had pets, you'd understand.
 * The Flash: Y'know, I had a cheetah once, but she ate my landlord, and tore up my couch. [slumps] Man, I loved that couch.
 * Green Lantern: On the planet Oa, I thought I had a pet raccoon, but he thought we were dating.
 * Aquaman: All the creatures of the sea are my friends, except for that one eel who knows what he did.
 * Batman: Yeah, I'm not really an animal guy.
 * Superman: Oh. Are you allergic or...?
 * Batman: As a child, I fell into a well filled with bats. I can still hear the screams as their dark wings flapped around me, scratching my chubby, childish flesh. I'm tormented every waking moment.
 * [awkward silence]
 * Superman: I really think a pet would be good for you.


 * [Ace, Merton, PB, and Chip are trying to break free]
 * Krypto: It's no use. These cells were designed to keep anyone with powers from escaping. You'd have to be as strong as Superman to get out.
 * PB: But we can't just give up.
 * Krypto: There's a difference between giving up and knowing when it's over.
 * Ace: Mm-mm! No way. Not for superheroes.
 * Krypto: I'm not a superhero. I'm not even a good dog. When I was a puppy, I promised I'd watch over Superman. And I failed, all because I was jealous of Lois.
 * Merton: Who wouldn't be? Have you seen those bangs? Ba-bang!
 * Krypto: Superman was my only friend, and I was afraid to lose that.
 * Chip: But you can't blame yourself.
 * Krypto: I'm the only one to blame. If I really was his friend, I'd have been there for him no matter what. My father was right. My problem is me. [a single tear falls from his eyes] I'm sorry.
 * Ace: Nah, man. You're good. You're just finally being real with yourself. You can't have justice without truth.
 * Krypto: Thanks, Ace. But it's too late.
 * [Chip, PB, and Merton are amazed]
 * Chip: Are you sure about that, perrito?
 * Krypto: What do you mean?
 * Chip: You're flying.
 * Krypto: What? [discovers that his powers are back] I'm... My powers. I'm back!
 * Merton: The Kryptonite has left the dog.
 * Ace: [sniffs] That does smell like sandalwood.


 * [as Krypto watches the ship launch high towards the atmosphere, the melting Keith and cinched Mark crawl toward him while coughing]
 * Mark: Krypto, there's a bomb on the rocket.
 * Keith: When it leaves the atmosphere, it'll implode.
 * [Krypto remains staring at them as they continue to cough]
 * Mark: We're just coughing. Go!
 * Krypto: I'm coming for you, Superman.
 * [Krypto flies up toward the rocket]


 * [Krypto wakes from unconsciousness and finds Ace on top of him]
 * Ace: Ah... Man, it sucks bein' a canine shield. [stands up] I think my teeth are still glowing.
 * Krypto: You saved my life, man.
 * Ace: Yeah, well, you were in the middle of saving ours.
 * Krypto: You know what they say about dogs?
 * Ace: [chuckles nervously] So something did get through that super skull of yours.
 * Krypto: Don't make me take it back. [they both shake paws]


 * [as Chip gets rubble off Green Lantern, he falls off until she catches him in her hands]
 * Green Lantern: Hey, don't worry. I got you. [Chip sighs in relief]
 * [The Flash run toward Merton]
 * Merton: OK, what's happening?
 * Flash: Wow, this is so weird.
 * Merton: [squeals] So beautiful!
 * Flash: High-fiving so slow when we're both really fast. Huh.
 * [The Flash and Merton high-five. Now, PB faces Wonder Woman]
 * PB: Princess Diana of Themyscira, I humbly present myself, Super Hog, still brainstorming, to you.
 * Wonder Woman: You will be a mighty warrior. And cuddle buddy.
 * [Wonder Woman hugs the pig. Nearby, Aquaman cries]
 * Aquaman: Woe is me. No one cares about the water guy.
 * [Keith's face appears in a puddle]
 * Keith: This water guy does. Hey, my name's Keith. [he climbs up to Aquaman's shoulder]
 * Aquaman: Aw, little piggy kisses.
 * [as Keith kisses his cheek, Mark smiles as he watches his friend]
 * Cyborg: Hey smokey. You're looking a little burnt out. Need a light? [lights up Mark, causing him to float]
 * Mark: Oh, look at me! [laughs]
 * Cyborg: Aw, come here.
 * Mark: I'm Mark. And your name?
 * [Ace and Batman sit beside each other]
 * Batman: So, you're a dog. I am the Batman. Sorry, I'm not really great with animals.
 * Ace: Yeah, I'm not really great with people. Probably because of my traumatic puppyhood.
 * Batman: As a child, my family was taken from me.
 * Ace: As a puppy, I was taken from my family.
 * Batman: So I've steeled myself.
 * Ace: My emotions, always in check.
 * Both: No one ever getting past my impenetrable defenses.
 * Ace: Ah, what the heck. [leaps on Batman and licks him, making the Dark Knight laugh]
 * Batman: Good boy. OK, the Batman loves you, too.


 * [a mid-credit scene. That night, in the park, Lex is still in one of the animal cages]
 * Lex: Hello? Excuse me, it's me. Aren't any adorable animals gonna let me out? Maybe a cat? How about a cat?
 * Whiskers: Nope. [prances pass]
 * Lex: [sighs] I always knew this is how it would end for me.
 * [in the hot dog cart, Lulu floats on her back while being surrounded by hot dogs]
 * Lulu: I always knew this is how it would end for me.
 * [suddenly, her tag in her ear blinks. A torch cuts a hole through the lid. A silhouetted figure, wearing Lex's powersuit, removes it. Lulu shields her eyes as she looks up at the silhouetted figure. It's Mercy]
 * Lulu: Oh, it's you. Hi.
 * Mercy: Let's be honest. The 2 of us are the real brains behind this operation. Forget Lex. We should team up. So, what do you say? [lowers the powersuit's hand to Lulu] Do you wanna come live in a studio apartment?
 * Lulu: Like, with you? Like, pet-owner situation? Alright, lemme think. Yes, yes! The answer is yes! [climbs onto the hand] So, just something to know about me. I'm passionate about world domination, and my nails need to be trimmed twice a month.
 * [Mercy flies off with Lulu]


 * [in a post-credit scene, Krypto and Superman are having a game of fetch with Squeezy Bruce. Krypto goes to pick it up, but something zooms by and takes it. He reveals that he's face-to-face with a black dog, Anubis, who has Squeezy Bruce in his mouth]
 * Krypto: That's my toy.
 * Anubis: Then why is it in my mouth?
 * [the scene cuts to Black Adam, who floats behind Superman]
 * Black Adam: Superman.
 * Superman: Black Adam.
 * Krypto: Your owner's a hero too?
 * Anubis: [spits out Squeezy Bruce] Antihero. It's basically exactly like a regular hero except way cooler. You make up your own rules and then you break 'em. Also, you can ignore most moral and ethical conventions because no one can stop you.
 * Krypto: Yeah, that sounds a lot like a villain.
 * Anubis: Antihero.
 * Krypto: If he's anti a hero, then isn't he a villain?
 * Anubis: Admit he's an antihero or Black Adam will destroy you.
 * Krypto: Very villain thing to do.
 * Anubis: It's a fine line. I'm not gonna lie.
 * Krypto: Well, whatever he is, I bet he can't fly to Pluto.
 * Anubis: Oh, yeah? Watch him.
 * [Anubis zooms into space with Black Adam. Krypto picks up Squeezy Bruce and trots off]
 * Krypto: My toy.

Cast

 * Dwayne Johnson — Krypto
 * Kevin Hart — Ace
 * Kate McKinnon — Lulu
 * John Krasinski — Superman / Clark Kent
 * Vanessa Bayer — PB
 * Natasha Lyonne — Merton
 * Diego Luna — Chip
 * Marc Maron — Lex Luthor
 * Keanu Reeves — Batman
 * Thomas Middleditch — Keith
 * Ben Schwartz — Mark
 * Olivia Wilde — Lois Lane
 * Jameela Jamil — Wonder Woman
 * Jemaine Clement — Aquaman
 * John Early — The Flash
 * Daveed Diggs — Cyborg
 * Dascha Polanco — The Green Lantern
 * Keith David — Dog-El
 * Maya Erskine — Mercy Graves

Taglines

 * Sit, stay, save the world.
 * Just because they're super, doesn't mean they're heroes.
 * All pets have secrets, theirs are super.
 * They call him Bark Kent. (Krypto)
 * He doesn't take sit from anyone. (Ace)
 * The next pig thing. (PB)
 * Shell yeah. (Merton)
 * Fighting crime can get nuts. (Chip)
 * Squeak of nature. (Lulu)
 * Tall, Clark, and handsome. (Superman)
 * Smooth criminal. (Lex Luthor)
 * Ready to glow. (Green Lantern)
 * Bring a towel. (Aquaman)
 * The Bruce is loose. (Batman)
 * Life in the fast lane. (Lois Lane)
 * Out of your league. (Wonder Woman)
 * Keep up. (The Flash)
 * He's had some work done. (Cyborg)