Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (film)

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul is an 2017 American comedy film released by 20th Century Fox. It is a sequel to Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days and the final live-action adaption film of the franchise. A Wimp Will Rise (taglines)

Rodrick Heffley

 * I got us a microwave pizza. [he puts the pizza on a black box which is usually a safe which is locked up tight instead of a microwave] And they disguised it as a microwave.

Susan Heffley

 * The pig's better potty trained than you, Greg.
 * Greg Heffley! You are grounded for life! And I swear, never again will you play a video game as long as there is breath in my body.

Dialogue

 * [Corny's Family Restaurant; the Heffley family, and Rowley arrive in their minivan, in their cartoon drawings]
 * Greg: [steps out] Do we have to come to Corny's? This place is for babies.
 * Rodrick: Then you fit right in, Greggy.
 * Susan: It's not a place for babies, it's a place for family-style dining, right, Frank?
 * Frank: That's right. And the buffet's all-you-can-eat, so take advantage.
 * Rowley: Thanks for inviting me, Mr. and Mrs. Heffley. I hear their ball pit is super deep!


 * Manny: I'm texting.
 * Susan: Oh, no. No devices on this trip.
 * Greg: What do you mean?
 * Susan: This is an unplugged road trip. No phones, no iPads, no Internet.
 * Rodrick: What?!
 * Susan: Just family time. The only connection we're gonna do, is with each other. Everyone, hand over your devices.
 * Greg: You tricked us!
 * Rodrick: This is totally not cool.
 * Greg: Kids at school get way more screen time than I do!
 * Rodrick: I'm not giving up my phone. Pfft!
 * Greg: Yeah! If he's not givin' up his phone, I'm not givin' up mine.
 * Rodrick: If he's not giving up, I'm not giving mine up. Who do you think you are, bossing us around?
 * Greg: You want me to read. I'm reading text! What's the difference?
 * Rodrick: You're the worst mom ever!
 * Greg: Yeah!


 * Rowley: I got us a microwave pizza. [He types the security code on a mini-safe]
 * Frank: Rodrick, that's a mini-safe.
 * Rodrick: [shakes the mini-safe door] And they disguised it as a microwave.


 * Manny: Good?
 * Susan: You fixed the GPS to drive here. You tricked us, and now we're gonna be late to Meemaw's birthday.
 * Frank: I don't even think we're gonna make it in time.
 * Greg: [angrily frees himself from his mother's grip] You embarrassed me in front of everyone, Mom! Now I'm gonna be known as Diaper Hands forever!
 * Susan: It'll blow over. You know what won't? You lying to me. I just wanted to have a nice family trip where we all spent time together. But you don't care about that.
 * Greg: Well, you don't care about the things I love, either! If you did, I wouldn't have had to sneak away to get to this place!
 * Susan: I give up. Take my phone. Play games. Enjoy yourself. I'm done fighting.


 * Greg: You want one?
 * [He feeds a cheesy puff to a seagull]
 * Susan: Oh, Greg, I wouldn't encourage them.
 * Greg: There's only one.
 * [A flock of seagulls fly into the car and attack the Heffleys]

Taglines

 * A Wimp Will Rise

Cast

 * Jason Drucker as Greg Heffley
 * Owen Asztalos as Rowley Jefferson
 * Charlie Wright as Rodrick Heffley
 * Alicia Silverstone as Susan Heffley
 * Tom Everett Scott as Frank Heffley
 * Wyatt and Dylan Walters as Manny Heffley
 * Joshua Hoover as Mac Digby
 * Christopher A. Coppola as Mr. Beardo
 * Kimberli Lincoln as Mrs. Beardo
 * Mira Silverman as Brandi Beardo
 * Mimi Gould as Meemaw