Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark is a 1988 comedy horror film about a television horror hostess who inherits an old New England mansion, a poodle, and a black-magic cookbook.
 * Written by Cassandra Peterson, John Paragon and Sam Egan, directed by James Signorelli.

Here comes Elvira…there goes the neighbourhood! (taglines)

Elvira

 * [to Bob] My name's Elvira, but you can call me 'tonight'.
 * I didn't know I had a good aunt, let alone a great one.

Dialogue

 * Chastity Pariah: Listen, young lady. I don't know who you are or where you came from, but you certainly don't fit in this town. Why, you don't even fit in that dress.
 * Elvira: Listen, sister. If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.


 * Bob Redding: I, ah…I can only play G-rated movies.
 * Elvira: Oh well, there's nothing wrong with G-rated movies, as long as there's lots of sex and violence.


 * Elvira: Bloody Mary.
 * Bartender: No hard liquor served past eight o'clock. Do you want a virgin?
 * Elvira: Maybe, but, ah…I'll have a couple of drinks first.


 * Patty: Seems to me it's all this cheap little tart's fault.
 * Elvira: Cheap? Who are you callin' cheap? What's that perfume you're wearing, Catch of the Day?
 * Patty: Look, honey. I don't know which hole you crawl out of, but I suggest you crawl right back in it, if you know what's good for you.


 * Vincent Talbot: I must apologise for my behaviour in the office, it's just that your appearance was a bit of a shock to me.
 * Elvira: It's okay. My appearance is kind of a shock to everybody.


 * Lesley Meeker: We do have a room. Remember the trucker with the bad skin checked out yesterday?
 * Elvira: I hope you changed the sheets.


 * Elvira: [ringing the motel bell] I hate to interrupt this little episode of the Waltons. But can I have room?
 * Mrs. Meeker: Okay, but it's cash up front. I know what you pinko heavy metal weirdos do to motel rooms. I read all about it in the Star.

Taglines

 * Unpleasant dreams...
 * Elvira busts out in her outrageously funny feature film debut!
 * Elvira makes her Big Scream Debut in her Hot New Comedy.
 * Here comes Elvira...there goes the neighbourhood!

Cast

 * Cassandra Peterson — Elvira and Aunt Morgana Talbot
 * W. Morgan Sheppard — Great-Uncle Vincent Talbot
 * Daniel Greene — Bob Redding
 * Susan Kellermann — Patty
 * Edie McClurg — Chastity Pariah
 * Robert Benedetti — Mr. Calvin Cobb
 * Kurt Fuller — Mr. Glotter
 * Jeff Conaway — Travis
 * William Duell — Lesley Meeker
 * Pat Crawford Brown — Mrs. Meeker
 * Ellen Dunning — Robin Meeker
 * Ira Heiden — Bo (the geek)
 * Tress MacNeille — Anchorwoman and voice of Aunt Morgana Talbot