Ernest Goes to Camp

Ernest Goes to Camp is a 1987 movie starring Jim Varney as the popular TV commercial character Ernest P. Worrell as he tries to be a camp counselor.
 * Directed by John R. Cherry III. Written by John R. Cherry III and Coke Sams.

Dialogue

 * [Nurse St. Cloud gives Ernest a shot]
 * Ernest: I did it! I took the Lindbergh baby! I am Josef Mengele! Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!


 * [Jake is trying to get Ernest to taste his "Eggs erronious"]
 * Jake: Now Ernest, would someone dressed up like this lie to you about food?
 * Ernest: Fond as I am in Tibetian cooking, a hungry lion always hunts best. KnowhatImean?


 * [Counselor Stennis is sitting in a lifeguard perch and is about to teach the boys a swimming lesson.]
 * Counselor Stennis: Okay. Everybody to the line. All right, everybody in the water.
 * [Everyone jumps in the water except for Moustafa]
 * Some boys: Hey! C'mon, Moose!
 * Counselor Stennis: Moustafa, Moose, whatever they call you. NOW! So you're the only one who can't swim? Well, you're gonna learn the Stennis way.
 * Moustafa: No! NO! I can't swim!
 * [Too late; Stennis picks up Moustafa and drops him into the water]
 * Moustafa: [sinking fast] Help! Somebody help!
 * [Ernest saves Moustafa from drowning]
 * Moustafa: Thanks, Ernest. I could've made it.
 * Ernest: Glad to help out.
 * Counselor Stennis: Well, meatheads, we're gonna try this again. This time it's to the end of the lake and back. Everybody in the water.
 * [The boys topple Stennis' lifeguard perch into the water]
 * Counselor Stennis: [in severe agony] My leg! My leg!
 * Danny: He’s learning to swim the Stennis way!
 * [The boys laugh at Stennis' expense]
 * Counselor Stennis: My leg! Aah!


 * Mr. Tipton Ernest, Have you had any leadership experience?
 * Ernest: I had an antfarm once.
 * Mr. Tipton: Close enough.


 * Nurse St. Cloud: And that was the ceremony of the Blade, the Stone and the Arrow.
 * Ernest: Like in our culture: Paper, Rock, Scissors.


 * [last lines]
 * Mr. Tipton: What happened?
 * Chief St. Cloud: Ernest broke the sign.
 * Mr. Tipton: Well. At least no one was hurt.

Cast

 * Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell
 * Victoria Racimo - Nurse St. Cloud
 * John Vernon - Sherman Krader, the Head of the "Krader Mining Company"
 * Iron Eyes Cody - Old Indian 'Chief St. Cloud'
 * Lyle Alzado - Bronk Stinson, Krader's Foreman
 * Gailard Sartain - Jake (Chef #1)
 * Daniel Butler - Eddie (Chef #2)
 * Patrick Day - Bobby Wayne
 * Scott Menville - Crutchfield
 * Danny Capri - Danny Simpson
 * Jacob Vargas - Butch "Too Cool" Vargas
 * Todd Loyd - Chip Ozgood
 * Hakim Abdulsamad - Moustafa "Moose" Hakeem Jones
 * Eddy Schumacher - Counselor Ross Stennis
 * Richard Speight, Jr. - Brooks
 * Andy Woodworth - Pennington
 * Buck Ford - Attorney Elliott Diate
 * Larry Black - Mr. Tipton, the Head Counselor of Kamp Kikikee
 * Hugh Sinclair - Counselor Sparks
 * Johnson West - Counselor Puckett
 * Jean Wilson - State Supervisor
 * Ivan Green - Mr. Stewart
 * Christian Haas - Molly Stewart
 * Brenda Haynes - Mrs. Stewart