Ernest Scared Stupid

Ernest Scared Stupid is a 1991 American comedy film directed by John R. Cherry III and starring Jim Varney. It is the fifth film to feature the character Ernest P. Worrell. It was the last "Ernest" film to be distributed by Touchstone Pictures.

Dialogue

 * Elizabeth: So in the hours just before midnight, the people of Briarville buried Trantor the Troll in the cold, damp ground. The end.
 * Teacher: Thank you, Elizabeth. Class, what did you think of her report?


 * Teacher: So, uh, Elizabeth, what was the curse the troll put on Phineas?
 * Elizabeth: Well, legend has it that from that moment on, Phineas' descendants would get dumber and dumber... and dumber.


 * Kenny: Ernest, I know. What we need is...a tree house!
 * Ernest: I thought we needed dress shields.


 * Trantor: Bring me the head of Ernest P. Worrell!


 * Trantor: You’re gonna pay for the sins of your forefathers!
 * Ernest: I didn't have four fathers! I just had one father and I didn't know him that well!


 * Ernest: How 'bout a bumper sandwich, Boogerlips? Eh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh


 * [when seeing Trantor the Troll for the first time]
 * Ernest: Ahhhhh! Boy, I sure hope you're from Keebler!
 * Ernest: You better back off. You don't wanna fight me, I know tai chi, kung fu, chow mein, and I saw Hulkamania three times once in slow mo.


 * Ernest: I never knew when to quit. Just ask my fourth grade teacher.


 * [repeated line]
 * Ernest's fourth grade Teacher: He never knew when to quit.


 * [while driving to the treehouse with a now wooden Rimshot]
 * Ernest: What good is a wooden dog? Oh, sure they swim better, but what am I going to call him? Splinter?


 * Ernest: Boy, Jimmy. When you play charades, you play for keeps. You know what I mean?


 * Ernest: [about the troll] He looked like a big giant Mr. Potato Head. Except he was shaped more like a watermelon.


 * Ernest as a lumberjack: There ain't no trees in Botswana. Nuh uh, I know. I AM a Botswanian lumberjack, and I ain't never had a job...


 * Ernest: [as the old lady] A little nasal hygiene will go a long way young man. Here you go! [dumps milk on a troll] I hope you're grateful. Little trolls in China don't even get milk.


 * Ernest: [being attacked by the troll] Help, help! May day! May day! Christmas Day! Colombus Day!


 * Old Lady Hackmore: [to Kenny] Sometimes, you've got to do what YOU know is right, no matter what anybody tells you.


 * Ernest: Gosh, Rimshot! Pretty soon, the kids won't have to worry about eating their Brussel sprouts because the Brussel sprouts will be eating them!

Cast

 * Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell, Bunny Worrell, Auntie Nelda, and others
 * Eartha Kitt - Francis "Old Lady" Hackmore
 * Austin Nagler - Kenny Binder
 * Shay Astar - Elizabeth
 * John Cadenhead - Tom Tulip (Bobby's brother)
 * Bill Byrge - Bobby Tulip (Tom's brother)
 * Richard Woolf - Matt Murdock
 * Nick Victory - Mike Murdock
 * Jonas Moscartolo - Trantor
 * Ernie Fosselius - Trantor (voice)
 * Daniel Butler - Sheriff Cliff Binder (Kenny's dad)
 * Esther Huston - Amanda Binder (Kenny's mom)
 * Larry Black - Mayor Murdock (Mike and Matt's dad)
 * Denice Hicks - Elizabeth's mother
 * Jackie Welch -Teacher