Existential Comics

Existential Comics is a webcomic about philosophy created by Corey Mohler, a software engineer in Portland, Oregon. The comic tends to depict philosophers of different backgrounds and often has them interacting and arguing with each other. It also gives textual descriptions of the jokes and associated philosophy to help educate readers.

Quotes

 * The conflation of democracy with capitalism is the greatest achievement in the history of propaganda. Not only are capitalist firms run like dictatorships, but they demand elected representatives not interfere in their autocratic rule. There cannot be democracy and capitalism.
 * Tweet 13 Nov 2019


 * The wealthy elite will fight tooth and nail against free college for two reasons: 1. it will be harder to fill the ranks of the military with poor people if college is free. 2. starting off workers with enormous debt is the greatest innovation that capitalism ever came up with.
 * Tweet 7 Dec 2019


 * The thing that people don't get about bees is that they are not monarchists. using language like "queen bee" is nothing but revisionism. bees are marxist-leninist-maoists and they do not have a queen they have a chairman.
 * Tweet 17 Dec 2019


 * Harry Potter is considered a "fantasy novel" because a group of technocratic liberal elites defeated the rising tide of fascism.
 * Tweet 17 Dec 2019


 * When Boris Yeltsin visited American and saw the variety of goods in the Supermarkets, he questioned socialism. When Muhammad Ali visited the Soviet Union and saw there were no homeless people, he questioned capitalism. I guess it is a matter of taste which is more important.
 * Tweet 17 Jan 2020


 * Capitalism is amazing because the billionaires who control industry will spend hundreds of millions on shameless propaganda to control politics and uphold the system and everyone is just like "huh. very normal. that's freedom i guess."
 * Tweet 23 Jan 2020


 * Communists: "what if the workers decided what do to themselves instead of obeying capitalists." Capitalists: "wow you guys are so authoritarian."
 * Tweet 30 Jan 2020


 * We need philosophy because no one was ever radicalized into revolutionary politics from learning mechanical engineering. Technical skills will only make the system more efficient, but we always need at least the possibility of reimagining the system entirely.
 * Tweet 31 Jan 2020


 * When billionaires say they "worked hard" to get to where they are, remember that if you added up all the work it took to create that billion, their own personal labor would be something like 0.001% of it. The rest was done by their workers. No one works for a billion dollars.
 * Tweet 25 Feb 2020


 * Socialists: "We want more democracy. Democracy at work, democracy in politics, democracy over resources, and democracy over the media." Capitalists, for some reason: "this is a threat to democracy."
 * Tweet 25 Feb 2020


 * Fascists in history: "above all we hate the socialists." Socialists in history: "above all we hate the fascists." Some dude in my @ replies: "actually did u know the fascists WERE socialists??"
 * Tweet 11 Apr 2020


 * [Referencing COVID-19 pandemic] If the economy is crashing because people can't work, i don't understand why the entrepreneurs don't just create more wealth. i've been told for years that they are the wealth creators. What is the matter? Do they need the workers or something?
 * Tweet 18 Apr 2020


 * The greatest trick capitalist propaganda ever pulled was convincing people that "freedom" meant something like "being able to choose between 27 different flavors of ice cream", and not "having the material conditions of life allow for the pursuit of your own creative potential".
 * Tweet 19 Apr 2020


 * If every billionaire on earth stopped working, nobody would even notice. If every billionaire's workers stopped working, society would collapse. We don't need them. They need us.
 * Tweet 22 Apr 2020


 * The funniest thing about Elon Musk in the last few years is finding out that he's just a stupid person. Like he's just dumb. He isn't even smart at one thing and dumb at others, he's just pure dumb. Nerds all thought he was some kind of genius just because he was into nerd shit.
 * Tweet 1 May 2020


 * Remember in the 60s when rockets launched and the credit was given to the scientists and astronauts that actually made it happen? Now it's given to the billionaire who pillaged NASA tech and is now using it as his playground and promotion for his cars. That's bad. SpaceX is bad.
 * Tweet 11 May 2020


 * The fact that anyone considers SpaceX as anything other than a continuation of the transfer of public sector science, that was run for the public good, into the hands of billionaires is a testament to our propaganda. Having space exploration controlled by one billionaire is bad.
 * Tweet 11 May 2020


 * If there was a sci-fi novel with a megalomaniac billionaire who was the son of an Apartheid emerald mine owner [referencing Elon Musk], and he was privatizing space exploration so the public no longer has a say in it... you know that would be considered bad, right? The heroes would fight to stop SpaceX.
 * Tweet 11 May 2020


 * Environmentalists: "global warming will cause a catastrophe in 50 years unless we do something drastic." Capitalists: "eh, we'd rather not, that sounds expensive." Enlightened centrist: "let's tax the rich 3% more and have the planet die in 55 years."
 * Tweet 18 May 2020


 * Capitalists during the good times: "we took all the risk, so we deserve all the profit!" Capitalists during the bad times: "uh yeah, our risk didn't pay off, we need a bailout."
 * Tweet 19 May 2020


 * If I woke up tomorrow and my boss told me that today at my job I had to shoot rubber bullets and throw tear gas at people protesting racism because one of my coworkers killed someone in cold blood, I would simply quit that job and do something useful like stock grocery shelves.
 * Tweet 1 Jun 2020


 * Every single large corporation is 100% on the side of the police. Don't let their fake solidarity tweets fool you for a second. They don't care how many black people get killed, they know the police exist to protect their hoarded wealth.
 * Tweet 2 Jun 2020


 * A whole lot of people who get all their information about socialism directly from wealthy capitalists who own the media seem to think socialists are the ones who are brainwashed.
 * Tweet 19 Jun 2020


 * The funny thing about "colleges are brainwashing students into communism" conspiracy theories is that they take as a premise that if you so much as read and understand Marx you'll become a communist. In other words, that Marx is irrefutably correct. Which is, of course, true.
 * Tweet 9 Jul 2020


 * So it turns out that all billionaires hate communism. Weird coincidence, I wonder why? Probably because billionaires are all super smart and they figured out how communism is bad.
 * Tweet 28 Jul 2020


 * Rent is a tax that poor people pay to rich people for the right to live in society.
 * Tweet 30 Jul 2020


 * Conservatives are always like "Free healthcare? What's next? Free college? Free housing? Free food? Walking past a homeless person without looking down on them with scorn??"
 * Tweet 1 Aug 2020


 * It's amazing how many people want to go back in time and kill baby Hitler. Like, why not just teach him to not be antisemitic as a child? You know he learned that shit right? He didn't have Jew-hating encoded into his DNA.
 * Tweet 5 Aug 2020


 * When conservatives talk about how much they hate communism, you can usually replace the word "communism" with "equality" and get closer to what they really mean.
 * Tweet 28 Aug 2020


 * Liberal politicians don't get into politics to fight against to wealthy elite, they get into politics to join the wealthy elite. They will never be real allies with the left.
 * Tweet 2 Sep 2020


 * The horror of socialized healthcare is that people have to wait in line to get surgery. The horror of free market healthcare is that the poor don't get surgery at all, and they die. Which of these two things you find more horrifying says a lot about you.
 * Tweet 2 Sep 2020


 * Centrists are like: "extremism is dangerous on both sides, that's why I support the moderate, reasonable, non-extreme system where like 12 dudes own half the world."
 * Tweet 3 Sep 2020


 * Under capitalism you are supposed to have the freedom to work where you want. In a massive coincidence though, almost everyone wants to work at the same place: "wherever is hiring because I need to pay rent."
 * Tweet 7 Sep 2020


 * The free market pays people based on how much value they contribute, which is why nurses, grocery store workers, farmers, and other essential workers have all gotten around a $0 raise during the pandemic, and the richest people on earth who own everything have gained billions.
 * Tweet 9 Sep 2020