Freaky Friday (2003 film)

Freaky Friday is a 2003 comedy-drama film about a mother and daughter whose bodies are switched because of an enchanted Chinese fortune cookie.
 * Directed by Mark Waters. Written by Heather Hach and Leslie Dixon, based on the 1972 novel by Mary Rodgers.

They've always been in each other's faces. Today they're in each other's bodies. (taglines)

Anna Coleman

 * AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!! I'M MOVING OUT TOMORROW AND I'M NEVER COMING BACK. NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER AGAIN!!!!
 * [sarcastically; repeated] Joy.

Tess Coleman

 * You know such of consequences for her! (Not you, boys.)

Harry Coleman

 * (puts two chopsticks in his nose) Look, I'm a walrus!

Dialogue

 * Anna: Mr. Bates, I really don't understand this F.
 * Mr. Bates: You completely missed the point of the book.
 * Anna: It's "1984". How could anyone miss it? It's a blatant attack on totalitarianism, about a rigid society, dominated by one all-powerful, ego-tripping dictator—
 * Mr. Bates: My grade is final.
 * Anna: Except he had hair. [Walks away]
 * Mr. Bates: [Calling after her] Anna!


 * Tess (in Anna's body): Honey, look, I think something's happened to us.
 * Anna (in Tess' body): What are you?
 * Tess (in Anna's body): It's me. Mom.
 * Anna (in Tess' body): You're not my mother.
 * Tess (in Anna's body): Yes, I am.
 * Anna (in Tess' body): Get away, you clone freak!
 * Tess (in Anna's body): Don't you use that tone with me.
 * Anna (in Tess' body): Oh, my God, you are my mother.
 * Tess (in Anna's body): And you're not who you think you are.
 * Anna (in Tess' body): [goes to the mirror and gasps] Look at me!
 * Tess (in Anna's body): I know. We seem to be inside each other—
 * Anna (in Tess' body): I'm old!
 * Tess (in Anna's body): [clearly offended] I beg your pardon!
 * Anna (in Tess' body): [screaming] Oh, I'm like the Cryptkeeper!
 * Tess (in Anna's body): Okay, that's enough. [They both look at each other and scream]
 * Anna (in Tess' body): [gasps] I want my body back.
 * Tess (in Anna's body): And I don't want mine? My wedding's tomorrow. Oh, my God, my wedding's tomorrow.
 * Anna (in Tess' body): Oh, I can't marry Ryan! Ew!
 * Tess (in Anna's body): Okay, Okay, Okay.
 * Anna (in Tess' body): Okay, what?
 * Tess (in Anna's body): I have no idea.
 * Anna (in Tess' body): Mom, maybe we should go to the emergency room.
 * Tess (in Anna's body): Oh no, all that'll get us is a 72-hour lockdown in the psych ward and a Thorazine drip. No, we're not going anywhere.
 * Anna (in Tess' body): Okay. Um, so, you're in my body and I'm in your body. Why don't we, like...
 * Tess (in Anna's body): Yes, I see what you're saying. A jolt. Okay, you go over there and I go over here. [She goes to the side far from Anna (in Tess' body)] Okay, now when I say go. Ready?
 * Anna (in Tess' body): Yeah!
 * Tess (in Anna's body): Go!
 * Harry: Hi, Mom!
 * Both: [they both fall down on the floor] Ow.


 * Anna (in Tess' body): Are you kidding, you think you can be me?
 * Tess (in Anna's body): Of course I can. Watch me. [mimicking Anna, who is still in Tess' body] "Oh, everyone's out to get me. You're ruining my life."
 * Anna (in Tess' body): It's easy to be you, I'll just suck the fun out of everything.
 * Tess (in Anna's body): I do not suck the fun out of everything.
 * Anna (in Tess' body): Fun sucker.
 * Tess (in Anna's body): Oh, this is ridiculous. I will go to school, and you will stay right... [suddenly remembers] Evan!


 * Tess (in Anna's body): [Confronting Mr. Bates for failing her answer that was correct] Mr. Bates, may I please speak with you?
 * Mr. Bates: I think that would be fairly pointless, but go ahead.
 * Tess (in Anna's body): By what stretch of the imagination...I mean, like, how could I, like, get an F? What mistakes did I make?
 * Mr. Bates: Grading is subjective.
 * Tess (in Anna's body): That was a college-level analysis!
 * Mr. Bates: And you're qualified to make that assessment?
 * Tess (in Anna's body): As a matter of fact, I most certainly am.
 * Mr. Bates: Well, in the words of Hamlet, "What's done is done."
 * Tess (in Anna's body): [annoyed] That's Macbeth, you know-nothing twit– [upon realization] Bates! Elton Bates! Griffith High School.
 * Mr. Bates: How do you know that?
 * Tess (in Anna's body): You asked me...I mean, my mom to the prom, but she turned you down.
 * Mr. Bates: This is not an appropriate subject-
 * Tess (in Anna's body): And now you're taking it out on her daughter, aren't you? Aren't you?!
 * Mr. Bates: I don't know what you're talking about!
 * Tess (in Anna's body): Oh, come on! It was a high school dance! You've got to let it go and move on, man! And if you don't, I'm sure the school board would love to hear about your pathetic vendetta against an innocent student. [Starts to leave, but stops to make a final remark] Oh, and by the way, Elton, she had a boyfriend, and you were weird. [Mr. Bates is stunned into guilt]


 * Anna: Listen, I need you to give me a ride.
 * Jake: I thought your mom didn't want me giving you a ride.
 * Anna: You know, you're a little too virtuous, kid.
 * Jake: You know what? I'm late for my second job.
 * Anna: Just give me the ride. I know, for a fact, that my mother will understand.
 * Jake: You know what? I'm just gonna be very honest with you. You seem really different than the person I thought you were. I saw what you did to Stacey's test. I think you're right. You're too young for me.
 * Anna: But I don't even know why I did that. It's really not like me. Honestly.
 * Jake: Good luck, Anna.
 * Anna: Come on! They'll let her retake the test!


 * Harry: I don't think he knows I even exist, so stupid thinkin' about him, but I can't help it. Jake! Ooooh! Jake!
 * Anna: GET OUTTA MY ROOOOM!!! [Anna chases the boys from her room] OUT! [Realizes her door is missing] Oh! My... My... Ah! Aaah!
 * Ryan: She saw it. [Anna shrieks again offscreen]
 * Grandpa: I'm gonna check out those Lakers.
 * Ryan: I'm with you.
 * Anna: Mom! Mom, did you see what happened to my doo--? [sees Tess sitting at the table with her arms crossed]
 * Tess: I spoke to your principal.
 * Anna: What?!
 * Tess: Just now, on the phone.
 * Anna: Where's my door?
 * Tess: Privacy is a privilege, Anna.
 * Anna: Where's my door, Mom?
 * Tess: Your door will be returned to you, Anna, if or when you can explain--
 * Anna: I need my door. You give me the door, or I will kill myself!
 * Harry: [to Tess] Oh! Can I watch?
 * Tess: Harry!
 * Anna: SHUT UP!!! [Boys run away]
 * Tess: I think we can dispense with the drama. And maybe you can just calmly explain to me why you were in detention twice today.
 * Anna: Okay, I went to detention. But that was only because Stacey Hinkhouse kept hitting me on the head with a volleyball!
 * Tess: Now, when is this conflict with Stacey Hinkhouse going to end?
 * Anna: Never, because she's an insane, psycho freak! And you'd know that if you'd paid like a speck of attention!
 * Tess: Anna?!
 * Anna: What?!
 * Tess: I think you know I pay attention, Anna. Enough to know that you got an F in English today.
 * Anna: Well, Mr. Bates is out to get me.
 * Tess: Oh, him too?
 * Anna: Yeah. You know, he just looks for ways to torture me. Like the one time Jake even spoke to me, he totally...
 * Tess: Who's Jake?
 * Anna: He's just... nobody.
 * Tess: You say I'm not interested, Anna. I'm interested. Try me.
 * Anna: Okay, he's just this really amazing guy, Mom.
 * Tess: Where'd you meet him?
 * Anna: Detention, but...
 * Tess: [Laughing] That's promising.
 * Anna: See? Do you see? Why do I even bother telling you anything?
 * Ryan: Okay, who's up for Chinese?
 * Anna: [Screaming] YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!! I'M MOVING OUT TOMORROW AND I'M NEVER COMING BACK EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER AGAIN!
 * Tess: (It's okay, boys.)

Taglines

 * Mondays are manic. Wednesdays are wild. And Fridays are about to get a little freaky.
 * Get Your Freak On August 1.
 * Every teenager's nightmare...turning into her mother.
 * They've always been in each other's faces. Today they're in each other's bodies.

Cast

 * Jamie Lee Curtis as Tess Coleman
 * Lindsay Lohan as Anna Coleman, Tess’s daughter
 * Mark Harmon as Ryan Vuolo, Tess’s 2nd husband
 * Harold Gould as Grandpa Alan
 * Chad Michael Murray as Jake
 * Stephen Tobolowsky as Mr. Elton Bates
 * Christina Vidal as Maddie; Lead Singer of Pink Slip
 * Ryan Malgarini as Harry Coleman, Tess's son