Fridays (TV series)

Fridays was an early 1980s sketch show that aired on ABC (from 1980 to 1982) as a way to mimic the success NBC had with its sketch show, Saturday Night Live (and almost succeeded due to the latter's show disastrous sixth season helmed by Jean Doumanian). This sketch show is now remembered as a cult classic, as well as being the starting ground for future Seinfeld stars Larry David and Michael Richards, and home to the infamous episode where Andy Kaufman causes a fight during a sketch about stoner diners on a double date.

=Opening= [At the beginning of each show]
 * Jack Burns: [voice over] Liiiiiiiiiivvveee, from the Los Angeles Basin, it's Fridays!

Steve Forbert [2.12]

 * Lips: [singing] Jimmy Carter is pretty ill

His campaign stood still

And in panic he tried to explain

But the voters didn't care

They had had it up to there

Besides they needed someone to blame

Then a new voice came along

Said the liberals had been wrong

What we need is a leader with verve

Then on election night

You told them they were right

Now you got what you deserve

Like those...

Politicians -- double dealers

Special interests -- faithless healers

See young men fighting -- worker layoffs

Slush-fund scandals -- corporate payoffs

Woah oh oh oh

It's the '80s -- Ronnie Reagan -- Horror Show.

[After Brad and Janet arrived at the old house in which all the guests were old, rich people instead of Transylvanians]
 * Brad Minor: You call this a rally? Where's the wine, the cheese? Where's Jackson Browne?


 * Black militant: [angrily ranting] The poor and oppressed people of this country must continue their heroic struggle of liberation against the racist, facist dogma and white lies, perpetrated by the priveleged protagionists of the imperialist power structure! AND I'M TALKING TO YOU, GRANDMA!!


 * Nat E. Dred: Gimme ganja!


 * Inmate (Larry David): What are these? Square trees? Have you ever in your life seen a square tree!? Is this kid crazy!? Does she live in the Bizarro World!? SQUARE TREES!!!

Rockpile [2.13]

 * Michael Richards: John Lennon's latest album, Double Fantasy became number one in the bullet... by Mark David Chapman!

Andy Kaufman/Sir Douglas Quintet [2.19]

 * Andy Kaufman: They said I couldn't say 'crap', I just did!


 * Andy Kaufman: I'm just a bad kid in school! Who wants to wrestle?!


 * Andy Kaufman: I can't play stoned.


 * Andy Kaufman: I feel stupid.

[After Andy started the fight by throwing a glass of water at Michael Richards' face]
 * Jack Burns: Bob, cut to commercial!

[The goodnights after the brawl}
 * Brandis Kemp: We like to thank the portion of Andy that happened here tonight.

Billy Crystal/Randy Meisner [2.20]

 * Andy Kaufman: [his taped apology] ABC wants you to know the truth. It was an experimental piece.... something different. This has been a very hard week for me. Because of last week's show, my job at Taxi was in Jeopardy.... my agent is having trouble convincing anybody to hire me. [to the audience] I think you laughing at it is pretty tasteless. Thanks to last week, I'm in separation with my wife... I was just trying to have fun. [weeps a little before helding them back] Maybe I went too far.

David Steinberg/The Marshall Tucker Band [2.21]
[After the pharmacist sees that his next two customers are midgets looking to buy condoms for their dates]
 * Pharmacist: I've have grown!

Jamie Lee Curtis/Garland Jeffreys [3.07]
[during the scene of 'Halitosis' where one guy tries to breathe on Jamie Lee Curtis' character]
 * Jamie Lee Curtis' character: [shrieks] Stop! I've got a tooth brush and I know how to use it!


 * Jamie Lee Curtis: [breaking character] Enough! I can't do this horror movie stuff, anymore!
 * Fridays cast: Why not?
 * Jamie Lee Curtis: Because nobody know who I am!

Valerie Harper/The Cars [3.12]

 * Mother: [while ripping Mr Bear's eyes off] Mr. Bear don't need eyes, if your life is full of lies!! [and while she also ripped off his ears as well] Mr. Bear don't need ears, if your life is full of fears!!