Full House/Season 2


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Full House was a television sitcom that ran on the American ABC network from 1987 until 1995.

Cutting It Close [2.1]

 * Danny: Breakfast is ready. We're having pan... (sees Jesse's hair) ...cuts


 * Joey: (upon seeing Jesse's new haircut) You went from Eddie Van Halen to Pee-Wee Van Herman.

D.J.'s Very First Horse [2.4]

 * (D.J. has brought her horse inside the house)
 * Joey: Oh, this is great. Danny's going to walk in here, see this horse and blame me for the whole thing. Do you know why? Because this is *very* funny.
 * (laughs)


 * Jesse: Danny's gonna flip his gourd. We gotta get this horse out of here.
 * Joey: Well, how do we get him out?
 * Jesse: We'll feed him, give him food. What does he eat?
 * Joey: Hay.
 * Jesse: We don't have any hay.
 * Joey: Jess, you went to the market, and you didn't pick up any hay?


 * Stephanie: Don't get me in trouble. Hide the tail!


 * D.J.: I'll tell you what, if you can keep this secret for two weeks, I'll let you own part of the horse.
 * Stephanie: Which part do I get?
 * D.J.: The tail.
 * Stephanie: My very own tail?

Beach Boy Bingo [2.6]

 * Danny: I am stoked! Whatever that means.

Joey Gets Tough [2.7]

 * Danny: You watch Wake Up, San Francisco because it's nice, and easy. Well this morning, I had a little too much coffee, so we're gonna do it nice... and rough.

A Little Romance [2.11]

 * Nick: (to Rebecca after she paid seventeen hundred dollars for Jesse in a date auction.) You know you could've had him for free.

Fogged In [2.12]

 * [Jesse enters his room where D.J. is recording her own version of "The Locomotion"]
 * Jesse: What are you doing?
 * D.J.: The Locomotion.
 * [Jesse looks closely at the tape]
 * Jesse: Where'd you get this tape?
 * D.J.: It was in there.
 * Jesse: Oh, no. [rewinds the tape] Please, tell me you didn't tape over my Casa de Pancakes jingle.
 * [after he's finished rewinding, he plays the recording on the tape of "The Locomotion", then to the end of...]
 * Jesse and Joey: [on recording] Casa de Pancakes. OLE!
 * [Jesse disappointedly stops the tape]
 * Jesse: I can't believe it! It's gone! You guys destroyed it! Now I'm gonna hafta do the whole thing over again.


 * Danny: What happened?
 * Jesse: Aw, they messed up my jingle tape. Joey's goin' away. I'm gonna hafta do this whole thing over again.
 * Danny: Don'tcha think you're overreacting?
 * Jesse: Overreacting? You think I'm overreacting?! I'm not overreacting! Okay?! I had this all worked out! I spent the whole night doin' it! Now my whole life is ruined! Okay. Now, I'm overreacting.
 * Danny: Jess, ya lost your temper again. Huh?
 * Jesse: Well, she shouldn't be in here-- [sighs] Ah, I'm just tired. I lost my cool. I did come down on her pretty hard. Didn't I? She'll be okay?
 * Danny: I think you better straighten this out.
 * Jesse: Yeah. All right. I know just how to handle this.
 * Danny: Good. Jesse?
 * Jesse: Huh?
 * Danny: D'you need a hug?
 * Jesse: Haven't I been through enough?

Pal Joey [2.15]

 * Young Jesse: Hey! One at a time!
 * Sheldon: There's the kid who was picking on me!
 * Miss Borland: That's it, I'm calling your parents!
 * Young Joey: But...
 * Young Danny: Wait, Miss Borland. That boy's lying, Joseph has been a perfect angel.
 * Sheldon: Tanner's the liar!
 * Miss Borland: That's not possible! Daniel Tanner's never been in trouble a day in his life. Let's you and I visit the principal, Sheldon.
 * Young Joey & Young Danny: Sheldon?
 * Sheldon: (Looking at Young Joey & Young Danny)
 * Young Joey: Thanks man, you saved my life!
 * Young Danny: You saved me first.

Baby Love [2.16]

 * Rebecca: Dustin? You would name our child Dustin?
 * Jesse: Yeah, you got a better name?
 * Rebecca: I sure do... Emily.
 * Jesse: No son of ours is gonna be named Emily.
 * Rebecca: Our daughter's name is Emily. Our son's name is Prescott.
 * Jesse: Prescott? Might as well name him Emily. Our son is gonna be called Dustin.
 * Rebecca: Prescott.
 * Jesse: Dustin!
 * Rebecca: Prescott!
 * Jesse: Dust... When did we have a kid?


 * Rebecca: Well, we better get going. You don't wanna miss your plane.
 * Connie: You're right, it might accidentally take off on time. Come on, Howie, wake up. It's time to go.
 * Michelle: Howie, no go.
 * Danny: Howie, yes go. Howie go back home.
 * Michelle: Me go.
 * Danny: [imitates an Indian] No, little Kemo Sabe. No can go to Nebraska. Take many moons.

El Problema Grande de D.J. [2.17]

 * Linda: Hasta luego.
 * Danny: Ah... El Pollo Loco!


 * DJ: Dad, you got to do something; listen to my report card. It's so unfair! A-A-A-A-A-A...
 * Joey: How dare they! This is an outrage!
 * DJ: Listen to my Spanish grade-D
 * Danny: A D in Spanish?
 * Joey: Que pasa?
 * DJ: Huh?

I'm There For You, Babe [2.20]

 * DJ: You have the brain of a paramecium.
 * Stephanie: If I have the brain of a paramecium, then you have the brain of just one mecium.
 * DJ: (to Jesse) There really is no way to beat her, is there?