G.I. Joe: Retaliation

G.I. Joe: Retaliation is a 2013 American science fiction film action film directed by Jon M. Chu, based on Hasbro's G.I. Joe toy, comic and media franchises. It is a stand-alone sequel to the 2009 film G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.


 * ''Directed by Jon M. Chu. Written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick

Roadblock

 * Let's move! The world ain't saving itself !
 * In the immortal words of Jay-Z: "Whatever deity may guide my life, dear lord don't let me die tonight. But if I shall before I wake, I'd accept my fate."
 * I came here when I was fourteen, with a life expectancy of thirteen. I was bounced around from home to home until this... became my home. Guys would line up outside that door to fight me. They whooped my skinny ass so much I started to enjoy it. Until one winter, I grew eight inches, gained sixty pounds, punched a guy so hard he couldn't move his arm to tap out. Then when the Joes came recruiting to the hood, I'd already beaten down half of it. I became a Joe to serve. In the field. So if we're fighting uphill, we take the hill.


 * Damn ninjas.

Zartan

 * [greeting Cobra Commander] Cool mask!


 * Well the good news is no global warming summit next month.


 * Why does anyone want to be president? Everybody wants to rule the world.


 * On my orders, the covert special forces unit, codenamed Cobra, terminated with extreme prejudice Joe command, facilities, personnel. The GI Joes... are no more.


 * You know, they call it a waterboard... but I never get bored!
 * Firefly - good to see we're not running low on crazy.

Joe Colton

 * DOD says I can't come out of retirement. They didn't say anything about re-enlisting.


 * It's not like I don't hear what you're saying. But an impostor president?


 * [sneaking up behind the Joes] I'll take 2 boxes of Thin Mints and a box of Chuckle Lucks.

President

 * Is this where I ask you what you have planned?

Lady Jaye

 * Hustle up guys. You've got to get that defector and get the hell out of there. No delays.

Warden Nigel James

 * Snake Eyes. Last place I thought I'd see you. Warden James. It's a pleasure. I'm a very big fan. I love the black. It's very Johnny Cash.

[laughs]
 * Listen to me. I sound like a real estate agent. I'm not here to sell you anything. Except maybe hopelessness.

Cobra Commander

 * Destro... you're out of the band.


 * The Cobra revolution has begun.

Flint

 * Well how come when the general says it, it sounds crazy?

Firefly

 * [beating Roadblock] I want to see that face. The one where you realize today's the day. It's the face all those pretty little Joes had in the desert when I lit them all up like fireworks!
 * Making more things go boom before 9 am. than most people do all day.

Dialogue

 * Joe Colton: You alright?


 * Lady Jaye: Yeah. Are you alright?


 * Joe Colton: My cholesterol's a little high.


 * Flint: We have to assume that there's no one we could trust.


 * Roadblock: There is one man. He's the reason we call ourselves Joes.


 * Roadblock: General.


 * Joe Colton: Call me Joe.


 * Captain Duke Hauser: Drive it like you stole it!


 * Roadblock: As your good friend, you need a new catchphrase.


 * Captain Duke Hauser: Anyone ever tell you, you fight ugly?
 * Roadblock: Not from their backs they don't.


 * Roadblock: [seeing Mouse is nervous] My first drop, I popped a live round into my mouth. It keeps your teeth from chattering. Give it a shot.

[gives him a bullet, which he puts into his mouth]
 * Mouse: Delicious.


 * Roadblock: That's on the rise. Like your panties.
 * Captain Duke Hauser: You love my panties.

[pause]
 * Roadblock: That's an interesting choice of a joke. Of all the things you could say...
 * Captain Duke Hauser: Alright, ok, I'm just saying...
 * Roadblock: You love my panties?
 * Captain Duke Hauser: Are you going to shut up?
 * Roadblock: What does that mean?


 * Roadblock: [to Snake Eyes, after planning to take down Cobra Commander] Snake Eyes, how's all of that sound?

[Snake Eyes is silent]
 * Roadblock: That's what I thought.


 * Zartan: You know, they say this is a thankless job. But yesterday, I hung out with Bono. My new secret service; they want to burn the constitution. Literally. Do you know my favorite bit? I get to blow stuff up.
 * President: I bet that endears you to the people.
 * Zartan: Well that's the thing. Your approval ratings climbed nine points. Apparently, America wants someone who looks like you but acts like me.


 * Lady Jaye: My dad could see me now...
 * Flint: What are you talking about?
 * Lady Jaye: You wouldn't believe it.
 * Flint: Why?
 * Lady Jaye: Third generation military. He desperately wanted a fourth. My mom had me.
 * Flint: Well he must be really proud of you then.
 * Lady Jaye: He didn't believe in female soldiers. I finally asked him why. He said he didn't want to put his life in the hands of a woman. I enlisted the next day. Spent the next seven years trying to outrank him so he'd have to salute me.
 * Flint: Did it work?
 * Lady Jaye: He died before I got the chance.


 * Firefly: [after punching the president] That was for the tax high.
 * Zartan: Like you pay taxes.
 * Firefly: Ain't always about me.


 * Roadblock: Where can we find you, general?
 * Joe Colton: Just need my orders.
 * Roadblock: You know we'd make a hell of a team.


 * Joe Colton: [offering his car] It idles a little rough in neutral.
 * Roadblock: I ain't gonna be in neutral.
 * Joe Colton: Hoo-rah.


 * French Leader: You will have to answer for this... to your Congress... your courts.
 * Cobra Commander: Correction: *They* will have to answer to *ME*.
 * Indian Leader: What is it you want?
 * Cobra Commander: I want it all!