G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is a 2009 American live-action film adaptation of the long and diverse line of military themed action figures, cartoons and comic books, first appearing in the mid-1960s, and still being produced and published to this day.
 * Directed by Stephen Sommers. Screenplay by Stuart Beattie

When all else fails, they don't. taglines

General Hawk

 * Technically, G.I. Joe does not exist, but if it did, it'd be comprised of the top men and women from the best military units in the world. The alpha dogs. When all else fails, we don't.
 * Knowing is half the battle.
 * Deploy the SHARCs!

Duke

 * (about the Baroness) She's gonna come after you. You know that, right? And with her Intel and toys, she'll find you.
 * Okay, that was crazy. I didn't expect that.

Baroness/Ana DeCobray

 * Try this on for size, boys.
 * Would you look at that? Real American heroes.
 * (about Scarlett) That redhead is really starting to piss me off!

James McCullen/Destro

 * For nearly 4 centuries, my ancestors have been the greatest creators of weaponry in the world. But perhaps in this century, I'll outdo them all. Nanomites, perfect little soldiers. Originally developed to isolate and kill cancer cells, but at MARS Industries, and with the help of a little NATO funding, we discovered how to program them to do almost anything. For example, eat metal. Watch this test of the world's first nanomite warhead. Each of these warheads contains seven million nanomites and has the ability to eat anything from a single tank, to an entire city. As you can see, it quickly converts to eating any and all material in its path. Once unleashed, the nanomites will not stop, ever. Once the target has been destroyed, the launcher triggers a kill switch, unique to each warhead, that short circuits the nanomites, preventing any unwanted destruction. Gentlemen, I'm pleased to announce that tomorrow morning, your first order of nanotech warheads ships from my factory in Kyrgyzstan.
 * (to the Doctor) I appreciate your thirst for knowledge, but this world is messy enough. What it needs is unification, leadership. It has to be taken out of chaos by someone with complete control. (looks at the missile tubes) Beijing, Moscow, Washington. When these missiles detonate, the world will turn to the most powerful man on the planet. When I'm finished, the money will take care of itself. You'll be able to do all the research you want.
 * Take the warheads to the missiles. I want them ready to launch in one hour.

Doctor/Rex Lewis

 * (about the Neo-Vipers) They feel no fear. Cortical nerve clusters show complete inactivity. They feel no pain. Concepts of morality are disengaged. They feel no regrets, no remorse. The nanomites join together as a fighting mechanism, first blocking, then expelling the cobra's venom
 * If we sold one warhead on the black market, I could continue my research.
 * The time has come for the Cobra to rise up and reveal himself. [dons a new mask] You will call me... Commander!

Others

 * Ripcord: (parachuting to the White House lawn) I think I'm about to get arrested, again.
 * Bastille Warden: Ooh, we are not going to kill you, McCullen. We're going to make an example of you! So that no man, woman nor child may ever see your treacherous face again, you shall wear this mask for the term of your natural life.

Dialogue

 * The Baroness: [smiles] Hello, Duke.
 * Duke: [surprised] Ana?
 * The Baroness: [kicks him] Now you have to admit, you had that coming.


 * General Hawk: Well, it appears that I've been made official custodian of the warheads. Looks like your mission is complete here, Duke.
 * Duke: [about the Baroness] When you move then, she's gonna come after you. You know that, right? And with her Intel and toys, she'll find you.
 * General Hawk: What's your point?
 * Duke: You're going after her first and we want in.
 * Ripcord: General, it was our team that got wasted out there. We deserve payback.
 * General Hawk: You don't ask to be part of G.I. Joe. You get asked.
 * Duke: You scouted me four years ago. Now I'm ready. Let's have at it.
 * General Hawk: Well, I've lost men too, Captain. If you want revenge-
 * Duke: I know her.
 * General Hawk: Excuse me?
 * Duke: You said knowing's half the battle, right? Well, I know who she is. [gives General Hawk a photo] She was a blonde. Her name is Ana Lewis. I can tell you everything you need to know about her, up until the last four years. After that, obviously, a lot of things have changed.


 * Heavy Duty: Standing in front of you are Delta-6 Accelerator suits.
 * Ripcord: What does it accelerate?
 * Heavy Duty: You. It'll make you run faster, jump higher and hit harder than any of your enemies. Let's suit up.


 * Zartan: American politics. Governors, senators, congressmen. No wonder nothing ever gets done.
 * McCullen/Destro: That's what we're going to fix, Mr. Zartan.


 * Breaker: Thousands of miles across and ten stories thick, locating McCullen's base will be like finding a needle in a coalmine.
 * Ripcord: (correcting him) Haystack.
 * Breaker: Oh, right - haystack in a coalmine.


 * Destro: [handling the old iron mask] This belongs to an ancestor of mine. He was caught selling arms to both sides. The French forced him to wear it for the rest of his life. They called him Destro, destroyer of nations.
 * Storm Shadow: So why do you keep it?
 * Destro: So that I never forget the most important rule in dealing arms.
 * The Baroness: Let me guess: never sell to both sides?
 * Destro: Never get caught selling to both sides. Take the warheads to Paris, have them weaponised, then I want you to test one.
 * Baroness: Test one?
 * Destro: We'll let CNN show the world how well they perform.
 * Storm Shadow: Fear is a great motivator.
 * Destro: I have a target in mind. One the French will never forget. As I have never forgotten what they did to Clan McCullen.


 * Ripcord: Look, I think you and me got off on the wrong foot. See, I'm attracted to you. And you, you're attracted to me. And him, the damn Zen master, he creeps me out. What I'm trying to say is...
 * Scarlett: We're attracted to each other.
 * Ripcord: [surprised] Thank you!
 * Scarlett: [cuts him off] That's what you're saying. It's not what I'm saying.
 * Ripcord: It's not. So, what are you saying?
 * Scarlett: Attraction is an emotion. Emotions are not based on science. And if you can't quantify or prove that something exists, well, then in my mind, it doesn't.
 * Ripcord: Okay. I'll get back to you on that one.


 * Zartan: Hello, Mr President. Mr McCullen sends his regards.
 * President: [shocked] Oh my goodness. So that's what this is all about.


 * [after the Doctor encases his head in silver]
 * McCullen/Destro: I've finally taken my place in the long line of McCullens.
 * The Doctor: James McCullen is no more. Now you are Destro.
 * McCullen/Destro: [shocked] What have you done to me?
 * The Doctor: The time has come for the cobra to rise up and reveal himself. [puts a new mask on] You will call me... Commander.


 * Duke: This is Captain Duke Hauser, prepare to be boarded.
 * Viper Guard: Sir.
 * Cobra Commander: You are relentless, Duke, I'll give you that much. And what's to stop me from blowing you out of the water?
 * Duke: Self preservation. I'm taking you in, Rex.
 * Cobra Commander: [laughing evilly] You and what army?
 * Duke: My army.
 * [camera pans back to reveal Duke and a lot of reinforcements]


 * The Doctor: Are you ready, Mr. Zartan?
 * Zartan: Born ready, doctor. This is going to be the achievement of a lifetime.
 * The Doctor: Yes, as a master of disguise you have no equal, my friend.
 * Zartan: [confident] Eighteen months of studying my target, learning mannerisms. But the devil is in the details.
 * McCullen/Destro: [enters the room and interrupts] Gentlemen, let's get it going.
 * Zartan: One more thing, I'll control my own brain, thank you very much. [takes out a small container containing nanomites, and smashes it] Let's do this.


 * Ripcord: Hey. You all right?
 * Scarlett: [pained] I'm fine. I didn't want anyone to see me like this.
 * Ripcord: Why?
 * Scarlett: I don't know. All the men we lost, General Hawk wounded, my neck just doesn't seem that important.
 * Ripcord: You almost lost your life out there. You have a reason to be concerned.
 * Scarlett: First fight I lost since I was a kid. My father taught me to win.
 * Ripcord: Look, I don't see how you can teach anybody to win everything every time. I mean, look at you. You're still here, right? You get knocked down, you get back up. Maybe that's what he wanted you to learn. But then again, that would be an emotional response, one that can't be explained or quantified.

Cast

 * Dennis Quaid - General Hawk
 * Joseph Gordon-Levitt - The Doctor/Rex Lewis/Cobra Commander
 * Christopher Eccleston - James McCullen/Destro
 * Channing Tatum - Captain Duke Hauser
 * Marlon Wayans - Ripcord
 * Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje - Heavy Duty
 * Arnold Vosloo - Zartan
 * Kevin J. O'Connor - Doctor Mindbender
 * Sienna Miller - Anastasia 'Ana' DeCobray/Baroness
 * Rachel Nichols - Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara
 * Saïd Taghmaoui - Breaker
 * Byung-hun Lee - Storm Shadow
 * Ray Park - Snake Eyes
 * Courtney A. Kreiger - Cover Girl
 * Jonathan Pryce - U.S. President
 * Grégory Fitoussi - Baron de Cobray
 * Peter Breitmayer - Dr. Hundtkinder
 * Gerald Okamura - Hard Master
 * Brendan Fraser - Sergeant Stone

Taglines

 * Evil never looked so good
 * When all ease fails, they don't