Gimme Gimme Gimme

Gimme Gimme Gimme was a BBC television sitcom comedy by Tiger Aspect Productions that ran for three series from 1999 to 2001. It was written by Jonathan Harvey, who developed the series with Kathy Burke.

Who's That Boy? [1.1]

 * Beryl: If you want the advice of an ex prostitute, check the bedroom for evidence.

The Big Break [1.2]

 * Linda: It's very difficult researching a role isn't it?
 * Tom: How would you know? The only time you were on tele is when you walked past the window on 'Richard & Judy'... You're such a sad bitch.
 * Linda: I've been on stage, i was the virgin Mary in the young offenders nativity play.
 * Tom: You played our virgin mother you blasphemous bint?
 * Linda: I was a virgin, till the dress rehearsal anyway

Legs and Co. [1.3]

 * Shirley: Oh yeah...That's very funny! Excuse me while I piss myself!

Do They Take Sugar? [1.4]

 * Linda: (to Sugar) I've got a life, I've got a life, you see that scar? I got that when I was bottled in a fight in the pub in Plaistow, that's what you call being part of the real world mate, something you don't know nothing about... (pause) It was one of the happiest nights of my life actually the other girl lost two front teeth and her short-term memory. Bitch, I do not look like Elizabeth the 1st.

Saturday Night Diva [1.5]

 * Jez: ...yes, and the titanic was a little bit wet!.
 * Linda: Oi! I had family on that boat.

I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do [1.6]

 * Tom:...End of story!
 * Linda: SOME STORY! It's more confusing than Hansel & Gretel.
 * Tom: (yelling) Hansel and Gretel's not confusing!
 * Linda: Well when did you last stay in a house that you could eat? It twists children's minds that does!

Millennium

 * Linda: Nahh, Tamika blew me out.
 * Tom: What, over the phone? She must have a very long tongue...
 * Linda: They must have got a puppy for Christmas coz I could hear her fella in the background shouting 'I'm not having that dog back in my house' and then she said 'party's off'!


 * Tom: And what did you shout at the lovely Elaine Paige when we went to see 'CATS'? 'Show me your pussy I'll show you mine'!


 * Tom: And at the interval of Jesus Christ Superstar you ran round telling the children "He dies in the end!"

Teacher's Pet [2.1]

 * Tom: Actors don't do that, they mill around with perfect posture, and utter inspirational nuggets like "D'you know, this is only job where you actually get paid for doing something you love!"
 * Linda: Well, that's bollocks. What about prostitutes?


 * Linda: I am not having my gorgeous flat turned into no bloody poxy fame school! I don't wanna wake up in the morning and find 15 anorexics chucking up in me loo!

Stiff [2.2]

 * (Talking to the forgetful funeral director)
 * Bob Hobbs:: Well it's traditional to tell family and friends. I mean, ya can tell a complete stranger, but they don't often give a -
 * Linda La Hughes: (cutting in) Shit?
 * Bob Hobbs: Donation.

Prison Visitor [2.3]

 * Linda': I ain't a pussy person. When people look at me they don't think cat, they think dog.

Glad to be Gay? [2.5]

 * Tom: We're here. Lindy's queer. Get used to it.

Sofa Man [2.6]

 * Tom: I like the men in my life to be strong, to stand up for what they believe in, not to be so far back in the closet they're in FUCKING NARNIA!!

Comic Relief


Down and Out [3.1]

 * Tom: We're rich! We're rich! We're... (Looks at Linda) Oh shit! You're rich!


 * Miss Twitch: I was the hardest screw in Borstal wasn't I, Linda?


 * Miss Twitch: (To Linda) It was the saddest day of my career when I felt your pulse!

Lollipop Man [3.2]

 * Linda:DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ON THE MATTER, YOU NONCE!!'''


 * Linda: Are you ready?
 * Tom: No.
 * Linda: Oh, you slipped it in when I weren't looking.


 * Linda: She got herself a see through bodystocking and a python, called herself 'Snatch & Ladders'


 * Linda: Mummy threatened Lulu with an Irn Bru bottle in the 60's, I bet that's not in the play! Daddy still refuses to have 'Boom Bang A Bang' piped through his iron lung, he may be braindead Tom but he's got principles!

Secrets and Flies [3.3]

 * Tom: (Regarding Linda's new appearance) You know, you do look like a tranny, actually. A really bad tranny. You know, one of those dreary gay clubs in Driffield. It's a Monday night, Human League's playing on the jukebox, couple of rent-boys in the corner, then you.... Brian! Stood there in your wife's clothes, rolling your own.

Trauma [3.4]

 * Linda: Please nurse help
 * Nurse: Linda, I keep telling you not to smoke on the wards

Singing in the Drain [3.5]

 * Tom: (singing) Here in the land of golden showers, meet the mighty people with psychic powers...
 * Heidi: Don't talk to me about golden showers!!

Decoy [3.6]

 * Tom: I can't believe you, making up a life threatening disease to try to get me to stay.
 * Linda: Worked for Angie Watts.
 * Tom: Den & Angie were married!
 * Linda: Well so are we, we live together, we row all the time, we don't have sex, what's the difference?


 * Linda: Miss Understood said to me, "Special people paint with potatoes Linda, and you are a special person".

Cast

 * Kathy Burke - Linda La Hughes
 * James Dreyfus - Tom Farrell
 * Brian Bovell - Jez Littlewood
 * Beth Goddard - Suze Littlewood
 * Rosalind Knight - Beryl Merit