Girls With Slingshots

Girls With Slingshots is a webcomic written and drawn by Danielle Corsetto. It is about the everyday trials and tribulations of adulthood, starring two best friends, Hazel and Jamie. It updates five days a week.

Number 1-99

 * Hazel: I don't think inflatable sheep are considered "stuffed animals."
 * Number 3


 * Hazel: Honey, he's hot, charming, funny, and well-dressed...inevitably, that adds up to "loves the cock."
 * Number 18


 * Jameson: My and all this time I thought you couldn't smell jealousy.
 * Number 42


 * Jamie: You know, I'd say you're cute when you're jealous, but you're really not that cute.
 * Number 81


 * Hazel: Why are all my best compliments in the form of insults?
 * Number 87

Number 100-199

 * Hazel: I've never despised an ellipsis so much in my life.
 * Number 114


 * Jamie: Well, how do you know they don't use the Dewey Decimal System in porn stores?
 * Hazel: If by "Dewey" you mean "wet," you may have a point there.
 * Number 138


 * Hazel: I think I just lost my status as "meanest character."
 * Number 167


 * Chris: I thought dead hooker jokes were just JOKES!!
 * Number 178

Number 200-299

 * Scott: I take it I'm the only one in the room with a steady sex life.
 * Number 217


 * Hazel: Okay...Denial, Anger, Bargaining...I think I'll skip straight to Depression.
 * Number 252


 * Hazel: Believe it or not, this is ENTIRELY about me.
 * Number 257


 * Hazel: You're so mean it makes ME look good.
 * Number 294


 * Candy: How dare you analyze me so correctly!
 * Number 295

Number 300-399

 * Jamie: What IS wrong with Jim?
 * Hazel: Besides the fact that we can't figure out what's wrong with him, nothing.
 * Number 306


 * Jamie: Somewhere, in an alternate universe, you and I are covered in badges!
 * Hazel: Meanwhile, in THIS universe, we are going straight to hell.
 * Number 333


 * Jim: It wasn't a vacation. It was a leave of embarrassment.
 * Number 342


 * Jamie: I think about kids all the time! I hear they're delicious sauteed in butter.
 * Number 383


 * Maureen: Jamie, your breasts are...legendary.
 * Jamie: You can say it twice. I consider them each a separate legend.
 * Number 395

Number 400-499

 * Jamie: Wow. And you aren't even sleeping together.
 * Hazel: I know.
 * Jamie: This is like a real, grown-up relationship!
 * Hazel: I know.
 * Jamie: How are you doing this?
 * Hazel: Masturbating like CRAZY.
 * Number 433


 * Hazel: What's this? A miniature pony?
 * Zach: In case you didn't like the tickets. All girls like ponies.
 * Number 452


 * Jamie: We need a Heartbreak Bacardi and some free bartender advice over here!
 * Number 496

Number 500-599

 * Hazel: Calling it a "meeting" instead of "drinks" takes all the fun out of it.
 * Number 544


 * Hazel: Why do you always freak out when I'm in a good mood?
 * Jameson: It's weird!
 * Number 570


 * Hazel: How's it shakin', eggs 'n' bacon?
 * Jamie: Large an' loose, like your caboose!
 * Number 587

Number 600-699

 * Hazel: That wasn't me, that was my ovaries.
 * Number 617


 * Jameson: Oh, thank GOD, you're finally getting LAID!
 * Number 631


 * David: If you're suggesting I have bitchtits, I'm mildly offended. Unless you like bitchtits.
 * Number 650


 * Jameson: Sorry, I'm afraid you need less Asshole Points to access that information.
 * Number 684


 * Zach: They're OLD PEOPLE, not ZOMBIES!
 * Hazel: But, they're FRAGILE like zombies.
 * Number 691

Number 700-799

 * Hazel: "Why are my cat's farts so nasty?" Oh Internet, is there nothing you don't know.
 * Number 728


 * Jamie: Remind me to trick you into complimenting me more often.
 * Number 744


 * Candy: Whoa, is that kangaroo hide?
 * Number 752


 * Zach: Nonsense, you're far too sober to dump me.
 * Number 773


 * Davan: Which side has the crazier women? I want to feel at home.
 * Number 781