Glee (Season 4)


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Glee is an American musical comedy-drama television series airing on Fox. It was created by Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, and Ian Brennan. The pilot episode of the show was broadcast on May 19, 2009, and the rest of the season began on September 9, 2009. Fox initially ordered thirteen episodes of Glee, picking the show up for a full season on September 21, 2009, ordering nine more episodes. The remainder of the first season aired for nine consecutive weeks starting on April 13, 2010 and ending on June 8, 2010, when the season finale was broadcast. The series completed its fifth season on May 13, 2014, and began its sixth and final season on January 9, 2015

The New Rachel [4.01]

 * Rachel: I kind of feel like I'm just gonna throw up all the time.
 * Brody: It's just because you're becoming a different person. That's why you came to New York. To be that new and improved girl.


 * Sam: [to Marley] The best thing about Glee Club is it's not about labels. If you can sing and you can dance, you belong. And dude, you can sing.


 * Cassandra July: I bet you were a big star back in...Iowa.
 * Rachel: I'm actually from Ohio.
 * Cassandra July: Ohio? That's even worse.

Britney 2.0 [4.02]

 * Brittany: My name is Brittany S. Pierce, and I finally know how Jesus feels in his house way up at the North Pole because I am on top of the world. Senior year was awesome and now I get to relive every minute of it. I'm head Cheerio, vice-Rachel of the Glee club and now, I'm planning a Middle East style sham election that will install me as senior class president for life.
 * Blaine: Brittany, who are you talking to?
 * Brittany: I thought I was doing a voice over.


 * Cassandra July: Maria Von Trap, Willie Loman, Shrek. Those are the roles that are appropriate for your level of sex appeal.
 * Rachel: You're just jealous of me. Of all of us.
 * Brody: Rachel, don't.
 * Rachel: No, because we have our entire career ahead of us and yours ended before it even began. We're the future and you're just some YouTube joke.


 * Kurt: The only cure for loneliness is cake.


 * Will: In the 58 year history of the William McKinley High School Glee Club, there has NEVER been such a debacle! WE DO NOT LIP-SYNCH! EVER!
 * Blaine: We're sorry Mr. Schue, we were just trying to help Brittany out.
 * Will: Lip-Synching is the equivalent of blood-doping in professional sports. Every gain we've made in the last 3 years has been wiped out, and I'm not just talking about our reputation here in McKinley. If the National Show Choir Board of Review gets wind of this, we could be barred from competing. What do you have to say for yourself Brittany?
 * Brittany: To quote the legend yourself: "If I met me, I would say a quick hello and then think I was a really nice girl." And I resigned from Glee Club effective immediately.

Makeover [4.03]

 * Rachel: It's pretty amazing what a good makeover can do. It's like you change the outside and the inside just follows.
 * Brody: I think it's the other way around. I think now your outside has caught up to how you feel about yourself.
 * Rachel: I like that.
 * Brody: I like you.


 * Blaine: [to Kurt] You're hanging out with fashion goddess Isabelle Wright and I'm running for Student Body President with a former stripper.


 * Isabelle Wright: [to Kurt] No, you should dream. You should dream very, very big and then you should work incredibly hard and make sure you do everything in your power to make it happen.

The Break-Up [4.04]

 * Rachel: You are my first love and I want more than anything... for you to be my last.


 * Finn: Wow. What am I going to do with my life? I don't have my girl. I don't have a job. I don't have a place in this world.
 * Rachel: You have you, and that's better than anyone else on the planet as far as I'm concerned.


 * Kitty: You do not want to break up with me, okay? I am like a bad Carrie Underwood song when I get going.
 * Jake: Yeah, well, I'll take my chances.

The Role You Were Born to Play [4.05]

 * Finn: It's nice helping other people's dreams come true.
 * Will: It's called being a teacher.


 * Wade\Unique: I don't feel right in the men's locker room, but I can't go into the girls'. And I don't feel right in men's clothing, but I can't wear dresses every day. It sucks to never know your place. It's just nice, for once, to feel like I've found one.


 * Sue: [to Marley] I'm trying to think of a mean nickname for you and I'm blanking.

Glease [4.06]

 * Rachel: [to Finn] You know, I don't really know what's going to happen between us, but I know that you used to be the guy that would make me feel like the most special girl in the whole world, and it doesn't feel that way anymore. Now it just feels sad & confusing and the worst part is that it doesn't even feel that bad anymore.


 * Ryder: [to Marley] I don't want to kiss a girl who's got puke on her breath. Either on stage...or later.


 * Will: I'll be taking a short sabbatical which means I'm leaving McKinley at the end of the week.
 * Tina: Wait, this is crazy.
 * Artie: Glee club is your life.


 * Will: I have so much to thank you guys for. Not just for making every day of my life an absolute joy, but for giving me this chance to share that joy with others.


 * Blaine: I need to talk to you.
 * Kurt: [walking away] I'm not interested.
 * Blaine: [following him] I'm sorry, Kurt. I'm so sorry. Please, it didn't-
 * Kurt: [stops, turns to him] What are you going to tell me? That it didn't mean anything? That it was a mistake? Do you think any of that matters to me?
 * Blaine: No, just listen.
 * Kurt: Relationships are about trust, and I don't trust you anymore. I was stupid to come back - Rachel's right. This isn't home anymore.
 * Blaine: I love you, Kurt.
 * Kurt: [tearfully] I don't want you near me.

Dynamic Duets [4.07]

 * Blaine: [to Sam] It was a guy that friended me on Facebook. And I went over to his place because I felt like Kurt was moving on with his life and I wasn't a part of it. And I got to thinking that maybe Kurt and I weren't meant for each other, that we weren't supposed to spend the rest of our lives together. But the horrible thing is, right after I did it, I knew we were.


 * Jake: Hold on. Did you seriously just call yourself 'Megastud'?
 * Ryder: It's my alter-ego.
 * Jake: So your superhero of choice is to be me?

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 * Finn: The theme is 'Foreigner.' We're going to sing songs by Foreigner, in foreign languages, wearing all the costumes of the world's nations.
 * Artie: Wait, seriously? That's your idea?

Thanksgiving [4.08]

 * Kurt: You've said you're sorry a million times and I believe you. And I'm trying to forgive you, but I'm just not there yet. But it's Thanksgiving and it's sectionals, and I miss you like crazy and I can't stand not talking to you even though I'm mad at you, because you're still my best friend.
 * Blaine: You're mine, too.

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 * Marley: I thought your parents didn't want you wearing...
 * Unique: They don't. They're trying to protect me, but what they need to understand is if I'm not being true to myself at least when I'm performing then there won't be anything left inside me to protect. So they can keep talking about sending me to a camp for little boys who like to wear dresses, but I will not and cannot be ashamed of who I am or how I look.

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 * Kitty: Every day I ask myself, "What would Quinn Fabray do?"
 * Quinn: It's really nice to know that people still remember me.
 * Kitty: Remember you? Oh no, we aspire to be you. Me especially.

Swan Song [4.09]

 * Artie: This is bad. Never in the history of show choir competitions has anyone ever fainted.
 * Sam: We got the juice. We got the juice.
 * Marley: No, I'm okay.
 * Kitty: Drink the damn juice!
 * Finn: Marley are you okay? What happened?
 * Jake: She hasn't been eating. She's skipping lunch.
 * Santana: Is that because you've been telling her too? You're trying to turn her into a damn rexy?
 * Kitty: What? No. Why would I- why would I want that?
 * Santana: Because you're a crazy evil bitch.
 * Will: Hey Marley, are you alright?
 * Finn: The nurse is on the way, Mr. Schue.
 * Will: Santana, Puck, you stay here with Marley. The rest of you guys get back up there. Leaving the stage mid-competition for any reason is risking immediate disqualification.
 * Finn: What?! That-That's a Rule?
 * Sue: Yeah, it's a rule. One of the bylaws actually. As all of you were spiraling into a self-created k-hole of crazy, the judges, by unanimous vote have declared the Warblers victorious. Hey, congratulations Finn Hudson. For the first time in its charmed yet pitiful existence, the New Directions has lost Sectionals. But here's the good news, Christmas came early for one Sue Sylvester.

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 * Rachel: Finn, listen to me. You know, even if we, we never won our Sectionals, or Nationals had never happened, it still would have been worth it. I mean, glee, it's about the love of the music. It's about people like Puck and Artie not just singing together, but actually being friends. It's about Brittany and Mike dancing just for fun when no one else is around. It's even about the romances. You know they come and go, but they're just as important.

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 * Rachel: I know I may not be a typical beauty, and no one's ever gonna pay me to walk the runway at Fashion Week or I'm not gonna cure cancer, or write the great American novel, but if you give me a stage to sing on, I know in my gut, there's no one that can beat me.

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 * Cassandra July: You're not good enough yet.
 * Rachel: Maybe you're right. I'm not as good of a dancer as you are.
 * Cassandra July: Oh, you're finally learning something in here.
 * Rachel: But I'm just as good of a singer. Maybe even better.
 * Cassandra July: You think anyone in here believes that? Because there's a big difference between self-confidence and delusion.
 * Rachel: No one else has to believe it. No one but me.

Glee, Actually [4.10]

 * Puck: Merry Hanukkah, dude.
 * Jake: Right back at you, bro.

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 * Sam: Brittany, I've always thought you were super hot and really smart, but what I didn't know was that you were going to end up being my soul mate. Who knows what the future holds for us. Probably tsunamis and horrible sea monsters. But I'm not worried about that because I have you.
 * Brittany: Sam, when you first joined the glee club, I didn't notice for a while. It wasn't until you did a Rich Little impression and then told me it was a Rich Little impression and then explained who Rich Little was that I knew you were special. And I can't tell you how excited I am to become your Mayan star-wife.

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 * Coach Beiste: Dr. Jones said the new end of world date is September 27, 2014
 * Brittany: That gives us like two whole years of giving love and brutal honesty to everyone we know.

Sadie Hawkins [4.11]

 * Kitty: [to Puck] Look, I usually avoid dating Jewish guys on account of your people killing my Jesus. I was willing to make an exception because of your biceps, but I'm gonna have to end this little experiment in religious tolerance if you don't stop dancing like an idiot.

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 * Kurt: My first week at NYADA and the most surprising thing about college is it's just like high school. It's all about the cliques. The stage combat majors are the jocks. The classical acting majors are the preps. The ballerinas are the mean girls. And if they're at the top of the social pyramid, then once again, I'm at the bottom.

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 * Sam: Do you have any lip balm I can use?
 * Blaine: What?
 * Sam: Conspiracy theories make my lips get all chapped. Come on, dude, it's not weird. We're like brothers.

Naked [4.12]

 * Ryder: [to Jake] Chicks dig hot guys who are willing to get naked for a calendar, but what they're really looking for is a guy who will get naked emotionally.

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 * Kurt: Rachel is a serious actress, Brody. She doesn't do nudity.
 * Brody: As performers, that's a question that we're all gonna have to face. If you want to win an Oscar, you have to show your boobs. Kate Winslet, Jennifer Connolly, Kathy Bates.

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 * Finn: I seem to recall a rumor about a certain cheerleading coach at this school who once took horse estrogen and posed for Penthouse back in the day. So maybe I can just track that down and make a few copies and sell those to raise money for Regionals.
 * Sue: That's nothing but a rumor. But if that rumor were true, my Penthouse centerfold so groundbreaking that it completely redefined the term 'hirsute,' and gave birth unto these United States a pose so limber, they named it the Regal American Not-So-Bald Spread Eagle, I promise you, my friend, you would never find it.

Diva [4.13]

 * Kurt: [to Rachel] You are a diva. And you have been a nightmare. But you're not a diva because you're a nightmare. You're a diva because you're talented, and ambitious, and because no one else in the world can do what you, Rachel Berry, can do. That's what being a diva's all about. Being an original. One of a kind. So hold the nightmare, but bring the diva.

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 * Tina: In honor of Diva week, let's just cut the crap and keep it real. Tina Cohen-Chang deserves better. I got upstaged yet again by Santana and she doesn't even go to school here.

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 * Tina: Blaine, I'm falling in love with you. And I realize that this could be a tragic, one-way thing. But even if we end up having just a sexless relationship, which many Asian girls and gay men do, it'd be worth it.

I Do [4.14]

 * Finn: So, do you believe all that stuff you tell yourself about, you know, labels, and mature conversations, Sex and the City, really?
 * Rachel: You think I'm lying to you?
 * Finn: I think you're lying to yourself. And I think that the reason you can't really commit to Brody is because you're still in love with someone else.

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 * Sue: Today is the day we honor St. Valentine, a man publicly beheaded for defying his government by exchanging candies and chocolates to nonsensically render the objects of our affection more fat and less attractive.

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 * Emma: Um, Sue, I feel really scared. I feel really overwhelmed. I feel like I can't think straight. I'm just really, really worried that this isn't going to work.
 * Sue: Well, of course it isn't going to work. You're a weird bird lady with a hollow pelvis and OCD. And Will Schuester is a weepy man-child whose greatest joy in life is singing with children. And his best friend? Nineteen.

Girls (and Boys) on Film [4.15]

 * Will: [to Finn] Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy mopes around and sits on his ass until his best man helps save the day. Thank you.

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 * Will (to Emma): If you were to write yourself a pamphlet, what would it be called?
 * Emma: "So You're Freaking Out Because The Man You're Supposed to Marry Parades Back Into Town and You Don't Feel Like You Know Him Anymore."

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 * Santana: My first real week in New York and I'm snowbound in Bushwick with a bunch of musical theater queens. It's like Eli Roth decided to make a gay horror movie and this is the scene right before we all eat each other.

Feud [4.16]

 * Marley: You're a natural leader, Finn. A teacher. You don't need Mr. Shue's approval to be that.
 * Finn: Yeah, but I do need a little thing called a teaching degree.
 * Marley: So, go get one.

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 * Santana: [to Rachel] My psychic Mexican third eye is never wrong.

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 * Santana: Rachel, you can't just blow past this like nothing ever happened. This is a wake-up call. This is an opportunity for you to take a hard look at the choices that you're making, where your life is heading.

Guilty Pleasures [4.17]

 * Kurt: My most guilty pleasure of late: my boyfriend arm. I ordered it one night while on Ambien.

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 * Sam: My art teacher thinks I'm some kind of genius like the ugly guy in "Shine" except with macaroni.

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 * Santana: I don't even think you need all of these beauty products, Rachel because they're not really having the desired effect unless your goal is to look like a reject from the "Shahs of Sunset."

Shooting Star [4.18]

 * Coach Beiste: [to Will] I have punched a charging hippo square in the face and not been as scared as I am right now.

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 * Brittany: I'm really surprised that Jesus Christ Superstar has chosen to end the world this way instead of the way he killed off the dinosaurs which was a global yeast infection.

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 * Sue: At the risk of stepping out of character, I brought donuts to calm everyone's frayed nerves.

Sweet Dreams [4.19]

 * Finn: [to Rachel] You're one of the most unique talents in the world. You always shine your brightest when you do something personal, something intimately important that defines you. Just do something that takes you back to the roots of your passion.

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 * Finn: I've got the rest of my life to be a grown-up and for now, it's okay to be young.

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 * Roz: Like George Jefferson, I'm movin' on up!

Lights Out [4.20]

 * Sam: We're so focused on being plugged in to the Twitterverse and the blogosphere that we don't appreciate what's actually right in front of us and I think that that's just sad and lame.

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 * Santana: The last thing I want to do is pay 30 grand a year to get a degree for doing something that I'm already freaking Wonder Woman at.

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 * Blaine: [to Sue] Something went down at that school and it has something to do with you. Someway, somehow, the kids are still shaken up. No one feels safe. Set the record straight. We need you, Coach Sue.

Wonder-ful [4.21]

 * Kitty: [to Artie] Duh, I'm trying to be wonderful. I like to switch it up, be unpredictable. Sometimes I'm sweet, sometimes I'm sour. Keeps it interesting.

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 * Mercedes: Are you gonna argue with our Lord and Saviour Jesus?
 * Jake: I mean, I'm Jewish.
 * Mercedes: So was he.

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 * Blaine: I wanted to formally ask for your permission to ask Kurt to marry me.
 * Burt: You kidding, or you nuts?

All or Nothing [4.22]

 * Brittanyː My entire life, people always told me that I was stupid and after a while I started to believe them and it wasn’t until I walked into this room and joined this club that I really started believing in myself. As soon as I did that, as soon as I started believing that maybe I was smart after all, I think the whole world did too, and I’m really gonna miss you guys.

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 * Will: There comes a moment in every performer's life that defines him or her, sometimes for the rest of their career. This is our moment. We've struggled. We've endured. And now we must triumph.