Glee (Season 5)


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Glee is an American musical comedy-drama television series airing on Fox. It was created by Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, and Ian Brennan. The pilot episode of the show was broadcast on May 19, 2009, and the rest of the season began on September 9, 2009. Fox initially ordered thirteen episodes of Glee, picking the show up for a full season on September 21, 2009, ordering nine more episodes. The remainder of the first season aired for nine consecutive weeks starting on April 13, 2010 and ending on June 8, 2010, when the season finale was broadcast. The series completed its fifth season on May 13, 2014, and began its sixth and final season on January 9, 2015

Love, Love, Love [5.01]

 * Blaine: We met right here. I took this man's hand and we ran down that hallway. Those of you who know me know I'm not in the habit of taking the hands of people I've never met before, but I think that my soul knew something that my body and my mind didn't know yet. It knew that our hands were meant to hold each other, fearlessly and forever. Which is why it's never really felt like I've been getting to know you. It's always felt like I was remembering you from something. As if in every lifetime that you and I have ever lived we've chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over, for all eternity. And I just feel so lucky that I found you so soon in this lifetime because all I want to do, all I've ever wanted to do, is spend my life loving you. So, Kurt Hummel, my amazing friend, my one true love, will you marry me?


 * Will: Wait, wait, so you're not firing us?
 * Sue: Not if you win a national championship, I'm not. However, if you do fail to win at nationals, I will fire you and you'll be forced to build creepy relationships with teenagers on your own time.


 * Sue: America, your prayers have been answered. Sue Sylvester is back at McKinley.

Tina in the Sky with Diamonds [5.02]

 * Rachel: So, did you hear about Santana's good news?
 * Kurt: That she doesn't have a yeast infection?


 * Rachel: [to Santana] You're scared. I've never seen you scared before. It's cute!


 * Rachel: My whole life I've been looking to be a part of something special, to feel special, but the truth is that I am special.

The Quarterback [5.03]

 * Puck: You know what's tripping me out is this line between the two years? It's his whole life. Everything that happened is in that line.


 * Sue: [about Finn] He was such a good guy. I'll never get to tell him. There's no less here. There's no happy ending. There's just nothing. He's just gone. He would have made an excellent teacher.


 * Rachel: [about Finn] I talk to him a lot. I can still see his face and I can hear his voice so clearly. Do you think that I'll ever forget? Because I'm afraid that one day I will.


 * Rachel: [about Finn] He was my person.

A Katy or a Gaga [5.04]

 * Unique: I know he loves you and you love him, but that was pre-Bree. she is poison. That girl is whack like crack, a penis fly trap. Marley, she will chew him up. Hashtag preach.


 * Sam: I love Katy Perry! I'm such a Katy! Oh, it just feels so good to say that out loud!


 * Sue: Before Katy versus Gaga it was Jackie versus Marilyn, Betty versus Veronica. Mary Todd Lincoln versus Martha Washington. Why must we always choose between female pop archetypes? Why can't we just be them all!?

The End of Twerk [5.05]

 * Kurt: Ever since Finn died, I've been going about my business, but I've also kind of been in a trance. And I guess I just needed to be shocked back to life.


 * Will: I hate to say it, but I think as long as you keep being yourself, your life is probably going to be a constant string of "don't belongs."
 * Unique: I know. I should probably start getting used to it.
 * Will: No, no. You should never get used to it. All great changes come from people who refused to get used to what was accepted but wasn't right. Slavery, gay rights, New Coke.


 * Rachel: I've kind of been going through hell the past month and I just needed something to snap out of it.

Puppet Master [5.07]

 * Bree: Let me hit you with the blunt instrument of reality, Puckerman. You're still you, a douchey playboy who's going to spend the rest of his life dealing with one mess after another as long as he lives. One of these days, you are going to knock someone up, and I feel bad for whoever has to have a child who shares your DNA.


 * Sue: [to Blaine] This is contraband and if I catch you with your hand up the butt of anything that isn't human, you're in a world of trouble.


 * Kitty: Looks like somebody's manstrating.

Previously Unaired Christmas [5.08]

 * Kurt: Are we all set in there?
 * Santana: If by all set, do you mean did I light the candy cane scented candles on the toilet, then yes, we're all set.


 * Tina: This is the best Christmas present ever, besides curing cancer and peace on Earth, of course.

Frenemies [5.09]

 * Sue: I hate you both.


 * Tina: You always get everything you want and I get nothing!


 * Santana: I need this job. I’m saving up to buy a noose to hang myself.

Trio [5.10]

 * Kurt: You two in the same room and there are no stitches? That’s an improvement.

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 * Santana: She will chew you up and spit you out like a Jewish Hillary Clinton.

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 * Rachel: I was like some heroine from a lost Tennessee Williams play.

City of Angels [5.11]

 * Blaine: Do you seriously have no idea who that is? Do none of you read the show choir blogs?

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 * Jean-Baptiste: Best of luck, New Directions. We really can’t wait to see your set...and crush you like a bug.

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 * Sam: I'm sorry we let him down.
 * Carol: Let who down? Finn?
 * Blaine: We just really wanted to win this one for him and for you.
 * Ryder: We had a plan that we were gonna call you up on stage and give you the trophy to keep.
 * Kitty: It's not right.
 * Jake: This is not how the story is supposed to end.
 * Carol: You're right. Oh, it would have burned Finn to have lost to those guys. All we would have heard for months was how the judges had robbed you or how you were so much better than them.
 * Burt: Yeah, but then he would have stood up, and he would have told you that even though most of you had never been in a show choir before this year. You still stood tall against the best of the best. And you know what, even though Finn didn't have the best voice of the best rhythm or the best throwing arm, he always brought out the best in himself and in others, and the great thing about him is he always managed to find a way to feel like he'd won.
 * Carol: I was really proud of you guys up there. Hearing those songs was so healing for me and who know I saw how much he meant to you. So win or lose, Finn lives in you guys.
 * Will: Okay guys, let's put this trophy where it belongs.
 * Artie: A 2nd Place showing is superior to when Finn decided to make out with Rachel on stage, and we ended up in 12th.
 * Becky: Principal Sue wants to see you Schuester.

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 * Will: 2nd place is not losing, it's like winning a silver medal in the Olympics.

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 * Sue: I bet you're hoping for a last-minute reprieve and then I'll say something about how you plucky band of pinhead minstrels overcame so much to get where they did & how 2nd place is actually an achievement.
 * Will: I can't say I wasn't secretly hoping you would consider it.
 * Sue: Well, I have considered it. More than you know. But I just can't. In the words of Ex-Principal Figgins: "My hands are tied". I'm the principal now William & my job is concerned with the health of the entire school, not just the fiefdoms that I like. And I do like you, William. That being said, the Cheerios stay because they won. So does the debate team, the football team, the girls soccer team, & mock U.N. However, diving, academic decathlon, actual decathlon, & yes, the glee club need to go.
 * Will: Should I fight? Should I make a speech about the arts or how much this club means to me personally?
 * Sue: Save that for your wife. It would probably turn her on. That won't make any difference here.
 * Will: So this is really it. What's gonna happen to the choir room?
 * Sue: It's prime real estate. They'll probably turn it into 2 classrooms. And since we won't be needing the band anymore to play everything from obscure Broadway to Queen at a moment's notice, probably sell off their equipment & buy some computers. Butt-Chinn up, Schuester. Look where you were 4 years ago when you started this thing. You've got a national championship trophy from last year in that case, & a bunch of other loser trophies standing with it. You & your team have done phenomenally well, & you did it with the world's greatest nemesis playing her best game against you. You didn't lose, William. Game's just over.

100 [5.12]

 * Puck: He forgave us for what we did, right?
 * Quinn: A long time ago.

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 * Will: We were all raised by different parents. But we grew up together in the glee club. It's a part of all of us.

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 * Will: I don't have any more pep talks. I just have you guys. And the memory of the people on this wall. My friends. I mean, we share this special bond. We're the only ones in the world who know what this glee club meant to us. What it felt like to sing together. Go be together. And what it feels like to say goodbye to it. I didn't come here to cheer you up. Just to thank you. To thank you for going on this ride with me.

New Directions [5.13]

 * Quinn: I think I love you, Puck, and I know is not gonna be easy with me in New Haven, and you...you know were, but I'd rather do hard with you than easy with somebody else

The Untitled Rachel Berry Project [5.20]

 * Brittany: I'm the angel that torches stuff with her laser eyes!

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 * Sam: My dream of being almost naked on a public bus is this close to coming true.

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 * Kurt: Trust is a choice.