Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City is the second 3D game in the Grand Theft Auto video game franchise and the sixth original title ove jadanees rall. It debuted in North America on October 27, 2002 for the PlayStation 2 and was later ported to the Xbox and PC in 2003.

Dialogue

 * [First lines]
 * Sonny Forelli: Tommy Vercetti... Huh! Shit. Didn't think they'd ever let him out.
 * Forelli Capo: He kept his head down, helps people forget.
 * Sonny Forelli: People will remember soon enough, when they see him walking down the streets of their neighborhoods. It will be bad for business.
 * Forelli Mafia Member: Well, what are we gonna do Sonny?
 * Sonny Forelli: We will treat him like an old friend and keep him busy out of town. OK? We been talking about expanding down South, right? Vice City is twenty-four carat gold these days. The Colombians, the Mexicans, hell, even those Cuban refugees are cutting themselves a piece of some nice action.
 * Forelli Capo: But it's all drugs, Sonny. None of the families will touch that shit!
 * Sonny Forelli: Times are changing. The families can't keep their backs turned while their enemies reap the rewards. So, we send some one down to do the dirty work for us... and cut ourselves a nice quiet slice, OK? Who's our contact down there?
 * Forelli Mafia Member: Ken Rosenberg, schmuck of a lawyer. How's he gonna hold Vercetti's leash?
 * Sonny Forelli: We don't need him to. We just set him loose in Vice City, we give him a little cash for getting started, OK? Give it a few months. Then we go down and pay him a little visit right? See how he's doing.


 * [Tommy and Ken arrive at Ken's office at Ocean Beach after escaping an ambush that failed their deal.]
 * Ken Rosenberg: I poke my head out of the gutter for one freakin' second and fate shovels shit in my face!
 * Tommy Vercetti: Go get some sleep.
 * Ken Rosenberg: What are you gonna do?
 * Tommy Vercetti: I'll drop by your office tomorrow and we can start sorting this mess out.


 * [Tommy talks to Sonny on the phone]
 * Tommy Vercetti: Look, Sonny, we were set up. The deal was an ambush. Harry and Lee are dead.
 * Sonny Forelli: You better be kidding me, Tommy! Tell me you still got the money.
 * Tommy Vercetti: No, Sonny... I don't have the money. [Sonny shouts angrily at Tommy]
 * Sonny Forelli: THAT WAS MY MONEY, TOMMY, MY MONEY! You better not be screwing me, Tommy, because you know I'm not a man to be screwed with!
 * Tommy Vercetti: Wait, Sonny. You have my personal assurance that I'm going to get your money back and the drugs. And I'm gonna mail you the dicks of those responsible.
 * Sonny Forelli: Hey, I already know that. You're not a fool, Tommy, but I warn you, neither am I. If it was anybody else, you'd be DEAD already. But because it's you, because we got history, I'm gonna let you handle this.
 * Tommy Vercetti: Look, Sonny, you got my word.
 * Sonny Forelli: I'll be in touch.


 * [Tommy takes Mercedes to the Pole Position Club.]
 * Mercedes Cortez: Will you be working for my father?
 * Tommy Vercetti: Maybe.
 * Mercedes Cortez: Do you mind me resting my hand in your lap?
 * Tommy Vercetti: Maybe...
 * Mercedes Cortez: It's so difficult having a rich and powerful father. Vamos.


 * [Tommy finds Kent Paul in the Malibu Club.]
 * Kent Paul: Kent Paul, mate. Yeah. I'm the guvnor 'round here. I sort things out. You know what I mean? I'll treat you. Whatever you want. I'll get you, girl. Don't you worry about a thing, mate
 * Tommy Vercetti: Get lost, Honey. [The girl Kent is serenading to walks away]
 * Kent Paul: Oi oi oi oi oi!
 * Tommy Vercetti: You Kent Paul? I'm a friend of Rosenberg's...
 * Kent Paul: Rosenberg... Rosenberg... Oh, that bonkers ambulance chaser! That guy could defend an innocent man all the way to death row! [chuckles] Give us another drink, bruv.
 * Tommy Vercetti: Everybody's a comedian. Listen to me, I'm missing twenty keys and a lot of cash...
 * Kent Paul: Drugs, mate? It's a mug's game.
 * Tommy Vercetti: [pushes Kent over] What do you know about it?
 * Kent Paul: Oi oi! What I was coming to was, there's some chef-cum-trumpetshifter who deals out kitchen of a hotel on Ocean Drive. He's been looking real pleased with himself lately. You could go and check him out...?!
 * Tommy Vercetti: I will - and I' be seeing you around. [walks away]
 * Kent Paul: Yeah, that's right. Go on - walk away, you mug, I'll knock you spark out! Give me a drink - and where's that slut!


 * [Post-mission phone call after Back Alley Brawl is completed.]
 * Caller: Hey Leo, I think we have buyer for Diaz's merchandise. You've gotta give them a ring man, set up the deal, you know?
 * Tommy Vercetti: Where are you now?
 * Caller: You okay Leo? You sound kinda different.
 * Tommy Vercetti: Just tell me where you are!
 * Caller: Who the hell is this? Put Leo on man!
 * Tommy Vercetti: Leo's gone away for a while, he left me in charge.
 * Caller: Screw you, man!


 * [Colonel Juan Cortez wants Tommy to steal a tank for a buyer.]
 * Tommy Vercetti: I don't have time to run more errands, Cortez
 * Juan Cortez: I would have thought a man with such dangerous debts would be hungry for opportunities. Please, Tommy, at least hear me out.
 * Tommy Vercetti: Go on...
 * Juan Cortez: I have a piece of military hardware that is being taken through town. Pick it up for me... and once you get it, I want you to call me immediately, then...


 * [Colonel Cortez bids farewell to Tommy.]
 * Juan Cortez: Thomas, you have protected and served me well. But now you must leave us before we reach the open seas. I will lower my personal launch. Keep it, my friend, a token of my gratitude.
 * Tommy Vercetti: Thank you, Colonel.
 * Juan Cortez: One more request. While I'm away, could you keep an eye on Mercedes for me?
 * Tommy Vercetti: I think she could look after herself, but sure, I'll keep an eye out.
 * Juan Cortez: Gracias, amigo. Hasta luego.
 * Tommy Vercetti: Adios, amigo.


 * [Tommy finds Lance in the junkyard.]
 * Tommy Vercetti: There goes my careful planning blown to shit, thanks to you. You screwed up real good Lance.
 * Lance Vance: He killed my brother. What do you expect me to do, mow his lawns?
 * Tommy Vercetti: We're gonna have to take out that prick Diaz before he takes us out. You ok to use a gun?
 * Lance Vance: Sure...I guess...Nice to see you, too.
 * Tommy Vercetti: Let's get out of here.


 * [Diaz is heavily injured.]
 * Ricardo Diaz: [crawling] You stupid pricks... my beautiful house, look what you've done to it!
 * Lance Vance: [kicks Diaz around] This is for my brother!
 * Ricardo Diaz: I trusted you, Tommy. [coughs] I woulda have you made...
 * Lance Vance: [points his gun to Diaz' face along with Tommy] Say goodnight, Mr Diaz. [fires their shots]


 * [Tommy and co discuss what to do next after Diaz' death.]
 * Lance Vance: Local businesses know Diaz is dead, and they're refusing to pay protection!
 * Ken Rosenberg: Ooh! We could try bribery...
 * Tommy Vercetti: Bribery? Screw bribery! I'll show you how to make 'em scared. I'll be back here in five minutes...


 * [After Tommy smashes the glass at Tarbrush Cafe.]
 * Store owner: My livelihood, destroyed!
 * Tommy Vercetti: Vercetti. Remember the name.


 * [Tommy and Lance infiltrate the mall to detonate the bomb.]
 * Tommy Vercetti: Remember - smile at the other cops.
 * Lance Vance: Hey there officer. Nice badge, nice badge.
 * Tommy Vercetti: Real smooth, Lance.
 * [Tommy and Lance enter Tarbrush Cafe and set off the bomb.]
 * Tommy Vercetti: OK, timers are set, 5 seconds and ticking
 * Lance Vance: 5 seconds?!! We got to get the hell out of here!
 * [The cafe explodes and Tommy and Lance escape.]


 * [Umberto and Tommy's first meeting, prior to Stunt Boat Challenge]
 * Umberto Robina: You. You the boy? Yeah. You the boy. I think so, you know?
 * Tommy Vercetti: No, I don't think I do.
 * Umberto Robina: Oh, yeah? You come here, tough guy. You think you'll take me on? You think you'll play stupid with me?
 * Tommy Vercetti: No, I think you're playing plenty stupid enough for both of us.
 * Alberto Robina: Hey- he called you dumb, son.
 * Umberto Robina: And I call him a little girl, Pappi. Look at him! All dressed up like that. What is this, ladies' night? You some kind of tough guy, you dress like a woman? You got on panties like a woman too, huh?
 * Tommy Vercetti: What you got against women? You prefer men, big boy?
 * Umberto Robina: I like women. I like all women! I love my mother, chico!
 * Tommy Vercetti: All right, all right. I'll take your word for it, relax.
 * Umberto Robina: Can you drive, amigo?
 * Tommy Vercetti: Yeah. Like a woman.


 * [Tommy drives Cam, Phil and Hilary to El Banco Corrupto Grande.]
 * Cam Jones: Tommy, Hilary's taking up too much room!
 * Hilary King: I am not!
 * Cam Jones: Are too!
 * Tommy Vercetti: Hey, shut up, you two, or you can get out and walk!
 * Cam Jones: Yeah - HILARY.
 * [As they approach the bank.]
 * Tommy Vercetti: 	For god's sake, Phil, stop waving that thing around!


 * [Tommy finds Phil making a boomshine bomb.]
 * Tommy Vercetti: Hey Phil, how's it goin?
 * Phil Cassidy: [sounds drunk] Heyyy. Tommy. Howyadoin'? Ish been too long...
 * Tommy Vercetti: I swear you should lay off that boomshine, man - smells like paint stripper. Making my eyes burn...
 * Phil Cassidy: Shshs shhh youshelf, Tommy. And come over because there's someshin' I wanna show you, someshin'.
 * Tommy Vercetti: Woof! God! Should I be able to smell that from way over here? I'm feeling woozy.
 * Phil Cassidy: Don'tchaworry about the shmell, Tommy, you jush wash thish.
 * [Phil presses the button on the remote, but nothing happens.]
 * Phil Cassidy: Shittycheapbatteriesh or shumin'. There'sh shum more on the bench.
 * [Phil assembles the batteries and activates the bomb.]
 * Phil Cassidy: TA-DAAA!
 * [The bomb detonates, blowing Phil's right arm away, but he is too drunk to feel the pain.]
 * Phil Cassidy: Aww Damn! [laughs and collapses]
 * [Tommy drives Phil to the hospital while being intoxicated by the boomshine vapor and Phil hallucinates.]
 * Phil Cassidy: Watch out! Charlie in the tree line!
 * Phil Cassidy: Is it me or are the roads made of jelly?
 * Phil Cassidy: Broken Spoon to Mother Hen, you copy?
 * Phil Cassidy: Spooney Wooney Woo Woo Woooo!
 * Phil Cassidy: He's come for me boy!
 * Phil Cassidy: Black feathered wings beating me all around...
 * Phil Cassidy: It's beautiful, man... beautiful... but so cold...
 * Phil Cassidy: [upon seeing the hospital] Not the hospital, man! Too many cops and Viet Cong! There's an ex-army surgeon owes me a few favors and a lawnmower. He's got a place down Little Havana - ooo look, a giant fish.


 * [On VCPR]
 * Maurice: But since you got elected, Vice City has been characterized by a government who cut aid to the poor, offered tax breaks to the rich and paid people to dump toxic waste near schools.
 * Alex Shrub: Yes, we've made a lot of progress!
 * Maurice: And up on Capital Hill you were instrumental in pushing through a bill allowing the manufacture and sale of Giggle Cream, a dessert with potential lethal consequences.
 * Alex Shrub: Uh, not true! Only 23 people have died and several of them probably deserved it.

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 * [Kent Paul and Love Fist inform Tommy that a psycho killer is after them.]
 * Jezz Torrent: Yeah, the love rocket thing, right. But listen, this cat...
 * Kent Paul: Yeh, yeh, the guy, he wants Love Fist dead. Dead Tommy. Love Fist gone. You know what they say, the good die young but Tommy, you gotta save Love Fist.
 * Jezz Torrent: We got a signing in two hours and I think...
 * Kent Paul: And the boys think the stalker's gonna try some monkey business there.
 * [Tommy drives Love Fist's limousine to the signing event to try and draw the psycho out.]
 * The Psycho: [fires at the security guards] I'll see Love Fist burn! Love Fist ruined my life!

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 * [Love Fist informs Tommy that the psycho he supposedly killed somehow survived.]
 * Jezz Torrent: Tommy! Tommy! Tommy, man, that psycho's back!
 * Tommy Vercetti: What's going on?
 * Kent Paul: That psycho won't leave Love Fist alone!
 * Jezz Torrent: You didnae kill him man. And now he's back.
 * Kent Paul: Yeah, yeah, yeah, and the thing is...
 * Jezz Torrent: The thing is, we need someone to drive the limo we can trust, cause that nutter keeps making threats!
 * Percy: I'm shitin' masel' man. I need ma ma!
 * Dick: We're all bricking ourselves, man.
 * Tommy Vercetti: Okay, guys, calm down. I'll handle this. Normally I wouldn't busy myself with driving around a bunch of drunken Scottish bisexuals, but, in your case I'll make an exception.

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 * [Percy asks Tommy to change the radio station.]
 * Percy: I get confused if my head ain't banging. Ah look, what's this? Hey Tommy, stick this tape on.
 * The Psycho: [On recorded voice] Love Fist. Your time polluting the airwaves is over. I gave you the chance to be friends. Now, I'm giving you the chance to die. Try to slow down and your limousine will explode, along with your BIG, HAIRY ARSES!
 * Jezz Torrent: Tommy pal, you gotta save the band!
 * Tommy Vercetti: I'm getting bored of this.
 * Dick: Just keep the pedal to the metal!
 * Percy: We gotta find the bomb!
 * Jezz Torrent: Can't we just drive around all day?
 * Willy: Aye, we've got plenty to drink.
 * Percy: Won't the bomb not be in the engine? We'll have to stop to get it.
 * Dick: We're all going to die! I'm gonna get drunk!
 * Percy: Hey! There's a queue here, pal! The answer ain't in the drinks cabinet! Get out of my way!
 * Dick: Hey, the vodka bottle's got wires coming out of it!
 * Willy: That's not vodka, that's BOOMSHINE!
 * Percy: WAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!! And it's wired to blow!!
 * Love Fist: WAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!
 * Dick: They always say the drink would kill me. I've seen this on the telly, you gotta pull out one of the wires.
 * Jezz Torrent: Which wire? I don't know man.
 * Dick: I don't have a clue.
 * [Love Fist continue to argue on which wire to cut.]
 * Dick: Which wire, Tommy?
 * Tommy Vercetti: The green one.
 * Dick: There isn't a green one. Or is this one green?
 * Jezz Torrent: Any of these wires look green to you?
 * Percy: Oh no! Death's on the cards! Everything looks green!
 * [Dick and Percy argue]
 * Percy: Yeah, shut up and pull a wire.
 * Dick: Which wire?
 * Jezz Torrent: This one..
 * Percy: NO!
 * [Dick cuts the wire.]
 * Dick: Man, we're okay. We ain't been blown up
 * Jezz Torrent: Tommy man, nice one. Rock and roll, man.
 * Dick: Ain't we got a gig to go to?
 * Jezz Torrent: A racket to make? Groupies to abuse?
 * Love Fist: [chanting] LOVE FIST!
 * Percy: Have you finished with that bottle?

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 * [Sonny calls Tommy after the Recruitment Drive mission.]
 * Sonny Forelli: Tommy.
 * Tommy Vercetti: Sonny.
 * Sonny Forelli: Obviously you are suffering from hearing problems, so I'll try again. [shouting] WHERE'S THE GODDAMN MONEY, WHERE'S THE GODDAMN STUFF, AND WHERE'S MY CUT OF YOUR NEW ACTION?! You are making an idiot out of me, Tommy, and I'm not laughing yet.

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 * [Tommy inspects the Print Works right after purchasing it.]
 * Earnest Kelly: Mr. Vercetti? Hey. You bought the old print works?
 * Tommy Vercetti: Yeah, my old man used to work on these. I used to spend evenings with him, cleaning the rollers... I was going to follow him in his trade, but... I lived a different life.
 * Earnest Kelly: You planning on selling the old machinery, breaking it down?
 * Tommy Vercetti: I'm thinking we might print something - a newspaper, a magazine...
 * Earnest Kelly: Oh, crap, sonny, low grade crap. I've always fancied printing money. It ain't too hard. You know, I've been doing it on a small scale for years.
 * Tommy Vercetti: Really?
 * Earnest Kelly: Sure. But we'd need some good quality plates. Of course! There's a counterfeiting syndicate already operating in Florida
 * Tommy Vercetti: A syndicate?
 * Earnest Kelly: Yeah. Just rumors is all I've heard.
 * Tommy Vercetti: I know a man who's good with rumors...

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 * [Tommy finds Kelly badly hurt.]
 * Tommy Vercetti: OK, what's the emergency? WHO?
 * Earnest Kelly: Tommy... some mob thugs... said they've come to take their cut... said it was a Mr. Forello's money... I feel like crap.
 * Tommy Vercetti: Forelli? SONNY Forelli?
 * Earnest Kelly: Yeah, that's the guy... I think... they were very insistent...
 * Tommy Vercetti: Don't you worry, pop. I'm not angry with you. [to the workers] Get him to the hospital.
 * Earnest Kelly: Tommy... rip that guy a new asshole for me...
 * Tommy Vercetti: I'm gonna rip him two!

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 * [Tommy finds Ken and Lance waiting in his estate.]
 * Tommy Vercetti: What's going on?
 * Ken Rosenberg: Tommy! Oh, good, good. Listen, listen. Uh, listen. I like fish. I love fish. I love them as pets in bowls, or as food on a plate, but as much as I love them, I don't want to sleep with them. Okay, but right now your Italian brothers are coming from up there to fit me with some cement shoes, and I...
 * Tommy Vercetti: Shut up, Ken. Sit down. Lance, what the hell's going on?
 * Lance Vance: It's your friends up north, Tommy. They ain't too happy you capped their man. They're coming down to see their business today.
 * Tommy Vercetti: They took longer than I thought... Guys, we gotta make this final we gotta leave no doubt that this is my operation. Mine! Ken, you get the first run of counterfeit cash and put three mil in briefcases. Lance, you get the guys together...

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 * [Tommy, Ken and Lance wait for Sonny.]
 * Sonny Forelli: Tommy! What? No big hugs for your old buddy?
 * Tommy Vercetti: I'm fifteen years out of the loop. I'm a bit rusty on family etiquette.
 * Sonny Forelli: Always angry, huh, Tommy? Didn't I say your temper would get you into trouble, huh?
 * Tommy Vercetti: There's three mil in the briefcases.
 * Sonny Forelli: How many was it? Ten? No, eleven, man! That's how you get to be called: "The Harwood Butcher"!
 * Tommy Vercetti: You sent me to kill one man. One man! They knew I was coming, Sonny!
 * Sonny Forelli: Tommy, Tommy. Watch your tone. Anyone would think you blamed me for that unfortunate set of circumstances.
 * Tommy Vercetti: Just take the money.
 * Forelli Mobster: Get the damn cash.
 * [Sonny's men go to take the briefcases.]
 * Sonny Forelli: You know, Tommy? I did what I could for you. I pulled strings, called in favors. I was your friend, Tommy. I hoped you'd see sense, see what's good for business. I trusted you, Tommy, and you disappointed me. But at least someone in your chickenshit organization knows how to do business. Isn't that right, Lance?
 * Lance Vance: Sorry, Tommy. This is Vice City. This is business.
 * Tommy Vercetti: You sold us out.
 * Lance Vance: No. I sold you out, Tommy. I sold YOU out! The real cash is upstairs in the safe.
 * Sonny Forelli: Tommy, what was the big plan? You thought I'd just take the fake cash, save face, and run away with my tail between my legs?!
 * Tommy Vercetti: No. I just wanted to piss you off before I kill you.

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 * [Lance shows up after hiding for some time.]
 * Lance Vance: No one to cover your ass now, eh Tommy?
 * Tommy Vercetti: You're going down, you backstabbing prick!
 * Lance Vance: Oh you think so!
 * [Tommy begins chasing Lance.]
 * Tommy Vercetti: Come here you double-crossing piece of shit!
 * Lance Vance: You're history, Tommy, history.
 * [The chase and gunfight ensues up to the roof.]
 * Tommy Vercetti: This is the last dance for the Lance Vance!
 * Lance Vance: I said I had enough of that at school!
 * [Tommy manages to kill Lance.]
 * Tommy Vercetti: You picked the wrong side, Lance...
 * [Tommy returns to the hall for his final confrontation with Sonny.]
 * Tommy Vercetti: You took fifteen years from me Sonny... And now I'm gonna make you pay!
 * Sonny Forelli: You still don't get it do you! I OWN you, Tommy. Those fifteen years were mine to spend! Get him boys, he never understood a thing.

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 * [Last lines]
 * Tommy Vercetti: You know, Ken. I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful business relationship... After all, you're a conniving, backstabbing, two-bit thief and I'm a convicted psychotic killer and drug dealer. [laughs]
 * Ken Rosenberg: I know. Ain't it just beautiful?