Happy Gilmore

Happy Gilmore is a 1996 film about a rejected hockey player who puts his skills to the golf course to save his grandmother's house.
 * Directed by Dennis Dugan. Written by Tim Herlihy and Adam Sandler

He doesn't play golf... he destroys it. taglines

Dialogue

 * Chubbs: Golf's no different from hockey. It requires talent and self discipline.
 * Happy: Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant, probably a great golfer, huge ass.
 * Chubbs: Hey, I'll bet your neighbor the accountant can't drive the ball 400 yards. I'll bet your neighbor the accountant doesn't have a shot to get on the Pro Tour!
 * Happy: And how would I do that?
 * Chubbs: You win the Open tomorrow, and you're automatically on the Pro Tour. Then who knows, maybe you'll win the Tour Championship. Get that gold jacket that I never got.
 * Happy: Gold jacket, green jacket, who gives a shit?


 * McGavin: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
 * Happy: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
 * McGavin: No.


 * [McGavin takes a shot]
 * Mr. Larson: Trying to reach the green from here, Shooter?
 * McGavin: That's not possible, sir.
 * Mr. Larson: I beg to differ, Happy Gilmore accomplished that feat no more than an hour ago.
 * McGavin: [turning round and seeing Mr. Larson] Well, moron, good for Happy Gilm-OH MY GOD!!


 * Announcer: We haven't seen Happy Gilmore play this badly since his first day on tour. He and Bob Barker are now dead last.
 * Barker: I can't believe you're a professional golfer. I think you should be working at the snack bar.
 * Happy: You better relax, Bob.
 * Barker: There is no way that you could have been as bad at hockey as you are at golf.
 * Happy: All right. Let's go!
 * [he punches Barker in the face]
 * Happy: You like that, old man?! You want a piece of me?!
 * Barker: [shakes his head as he gets up from the ground] I don't want a piece of you. I want the whole THING!
 * [Barker repeatedly punches Happy vigorously until he hits the water]
 * Happy: [angrily emerges from the water] Now you're gonna get it, Bobby!
 * [he and Barker continue fighting, and they roll down the hill, until Happy conks Barker in the head and gets back on his feet]
 * Man from behind: [cheers Happy on] Happy!
 * Happy: The Price is wrong, bitch!
 * [Barker suddenly chokes Happy and punches him 3 times]
 * Barker: I think you've had enough.
 * [Happy tries to get back up again]
 * Barker: No?
 * [Barker kicks Happy in the face once more]
 * Barker: Now you've had enough. [sets off, then turns back to Happy] Bitch.


 * Happy: I'll make you a bet. If you get this puck into that net, I'll never bother you again. But if you miss, you have to give me a big fat kiss. And you have to pretend you like it too.
 * Virginia: Do you always carry a puck with you?
 * Happy: Yeah.
 * [Virginia shoots the puck and scores]
 * Happy: Holy shit. Talk about your all time backfires.
 * Virginia: Happy, I didn't see it go in.
 * [the two lovers kiss]


 * Mover: You hit that guy!
 * Happy: He shouldn't have been standing there.


 * [After Happy's ball went through the tower and into the hole]
 * Happy: Oh, my God!
 * [The crowd cheers and surrounds Happy]
 * Verne Lundquist: This is incredible! Happy Gilmore wins the gold jacket.
 * Shooter: No! No!
 * [Shooter bends down in defeat and agony. Happy kisses Virginia, his grandmother and Otto]
 * Happy: I love you, you and you.
 * Shooter: Doug! Doug! Impossible! That's mine! My jacket! It's mine!
 * [Shooter steals Happy's gold jacket from Doug, and runs away]
 * Happy: Hey! He stole my jacket!
 * Mr. Larson: I believe that is Mr. Gilmore's jacket!
 * [In slow-motion, Shooter runs as he puts on Happy's jacket. The crowd chases him. Larson angrily growls as he swings his arms]
 * Mr. Larson: I'll get you, Shooter!
 * Man: We're gonna get you, you bastard!
 * [Shooter screams, then collapses offscreen as the crowd attacks him]
 * Shooter: No! Get off! Ow! Get off! Get off!
 * Mr. Larson: Stay still!
 * [A punch is heard]
 * Shooter:  No!!!
 * [A loud smack is heard as Shooter screams in pain]

Taglines

 * He doesn't play golf... he destroys it.

Cast

 * Adam Sandler — Happy Gilmore
 * Christopher McDonald — Shooter McGavin
 * Julie Bowen — Virginia Venit
 * Frances Bay — Grandma
 * Carl Weathers — Derick "Chubbs" Peterson
 * Allen Covert — Otto
 * Bob Barker — Himself
 * Richard Kiel — Mr. Larson
 * Joe Flaherty — Donald
 * Lee Trevino — Himself
 * Dennis Dugan — Doug
 * Verne Lundquist — Himself
 * Ben Stiller (uncredited) — Hal L.