Hellsing Ultimate

Hellsing Ultimate is a series of OVA's based on the Anime/Manga series Hellsing, that began its run on February 10, 2006. As of February 19, 2012, 10 episodes have been released, 4 of which have been released in North America. It chronicles the efforts of the mysterious and secretive Hellsing Organization, as it combats vampires, ghouls, and other supernatural foes who threaten England.

Alucard

 * "My master, it shall be done. As you command."
 * "How beautiful. Nights like this make me want a bite to drink.  Yes... I couldn't imagine a more... perfect evening."
 * "The silver cross of Manchester Cathedral was melted down to make these 13mm exploding shells. Nothing I shoot ever gets back up again."
 * "Are you a virgin, my dear?" (to Seras)
 * "Those who dare impersonate the dead...are judged to aim, make sure you put a hole through the heart.  Or the head.  Just remember: these people did not become undead ghouls by choice.  There's no way to cure them once they've been changed.  It's for their own sake that we put them to rest as quickly as possible."
 * "Drink my blood, Police Girl. Drink, and you shall never again be treated like a slave. Drink, and you shall truly become one of us. You will drink blood of your own choosing - wandering the night, powerful and singular. Become eternal and complete! Drink my blood, Police Girl. No... Seras Victoria!"
 * "Why didn't you just drink the blood, you idiot?" (to Seras)
 * [regarding the Jackal] "I'll bet this can even stop Father Anderson in his tracks."
 * [to Luke Valentine] "Humph. That's ridiculous! You fool...there's no such thing as an immortal!"
 * "Yes...excellent! I haven't had this much fun in ages! ...What did you say your name was?"
 * "Releasing Control Art Restriction Systems 3...2...1. Approval of situation A recognized; commencing the Cromwell Invocation. Ability restrictions lifted for limited use until the enemy has been rendered silent."
 * "Now, Luke Valentine. It's time to educate you on how a real vampire does battle!"
 * "Come on, get up! Attack me! You've only suffered the loss of your legs! Summon up your familiars! Transform your body! Heal your severed legs and stand! The evening is still so young. Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry! Pull yourself together - the fun has just begun! Come on! HURRY!"
 * "So, I see you for what you really are! You're pathetic!! Nothing but an useless, sniveling lump of MEAT!!"
 * "SILENCE!! I'm a dog, then you're dog food."
 * "Was that really all you had? Such a shame I overestimated you. As a vampire, you were just a pathetic piece﻿ of shit. Now you're nothing but dog shit. The one upstairs didn't seem like much, but they're having more trouble with him than I would've expected."
 * "Nothing like Iscariot to inspire the fear of God; such fearsome insults! Two thousand years of your inane prattle...truly, some things never do seem to change."
 * [to Enrico Maxwell] "You call my master a sow and expect me to let you live? I'm afraid that I'm just going to have to put a bullet in you, you foolish little man."
 * [facing Anderson in the museum] "Neither of us could ever back down in front an enemy. Come on then, Judas Priest!"
 * [after being shot by a SWAT team] "Dogs... That was a very good try. However...[regenerates]...I cannot be killed by dogs. It takes a man in order to kill a monster!"
 * [to Tubalcain Alhambra] "I get it; there's absolutely no reasoning with you people. Which means that I have to keep killing until there are none of you left. Didn't your masters learn anything from the last time I decimated them?"
 * "Magic playing cards...how interesting."
 * "The world would be so boring without idiots like you to amuse me."
 * "Now...it's time to play, Alhambra! I want to hear you squeal like a pig!"
 * "I want to hear it pig. So--SQUEAL!!"
 * "That's checkmate, Tubalcain Alhambra!"
 * [after defeating Tubalcain Alhambra] "Now, it's time to start dealing with the business at hand. I'm obliged to give you a thorough interrogation, so you're going to tell me everything you know. Well...your blood will." [bites Tubalcain and drinks his blood]
 * "We ruin the countries we govern and the people in our care. We slaughter our enemies and sacrifice all our allies. We’ll keep killing till there’s nothing left but to destroy ourselves. It will never be enough."
 * [about Seras Victoria] "Beneath that girlish exterior lies a fascinating and complicated creature. Abandoned to a town of death.  Her co-workers transformed into hungry, mocking visages of evil.  A sadistic vampire hunting her down with the intention to rape and kill her!  It was as close to hell as any mortal could imagine.  And what did she do?  What fate did she choose!?  Giving up is what kills people.  Those who refuse to give up are entitled their time to trample upon the weak."
 * [to Seras Victoria via telepathy] "I told you about your third eye. Yes, there.  Right in the middle of your forehead.  Your human eyes are not to be trusted.  All they'll do is lie to you.  And besides, you are no longer a human.  You have become... so much more!"
 * "My lord and master, Integra Hellsing! Give me your orders!"
 * "You stand before me...I'm impressed. I'm impressed, Iscariot! Show me more, Alexander Anderson!"
 * [trying to convince Anderson not to use Helena's Nail] "Anderson, stop it! Do you know what that thing will do to you?! You'll become one of God's monsters! Retain your humanity. Don't succumb to power! Either side, it amounts to the same deal: whether in the name of the divine or the demonic, you're still a monster in the end! Do you intend to use that scrap of miracle...to become nothing but a scrap of miracle yourself?! This duel...between us...would you really push it this far - into the realms that lie beyond the realm of mortal life? A monster such as myself...a creature of such weakness that I could not bear the weight of a human life...if I am to be defeated, it must be by a human! [pause] Don't do it, human. Don't become a monster...a monster like me..."
 * [to Anderson, after he uses the Nail of Helena] "You...you fool!...[aims Casull at Anderson] You bloody FOOL!"
 * Only a human can destroy a monster. Only a human could dare hope to.
 * [during his dream while momentarily defeated by Anderson] Fight! Fight for the glory of your God! God does not help those who kneel before Him! God does not save those who pray for mercy, for those are not true prayers! Would you beg in the presence of your Lord? Your impiety begs only for death! True prayer is forged in battle! Dazzle your Lord with your prayer, and you shall know Him! You shall know Jerusalem! After the tearing, the crushing, the breaking of men's bones, when the fruits of our prayers lie at our feet, God will descend from His throne on high to bring judgement upon His wretched and pitiful servants!
 * Tell me. [smirk] Did your promises come to pass? Where's your God? Where's your Kingdom? What's the matter? Answer me, King? Mad king! They're all dead. Every last soul dead. In service to you and to your promises. For your prayers! For your paradise! For your God! ALL WERE SACRIFICED! Enemies and allies! The people you swore to protect! The country you would rule! Men! Women! Old and young! Even...yourself.
 * [to Anderson, after he has been defeated] YOU AND I ARE THE SAME! [everyone gasps in shock of what he said] You are me... I was just the same! Don't you understand, this is how I became what I am? [Alucard starts crying]
 * Until the weight of my past is shattered by my oncoming future. It shouldn't be too long, my nemesis. I'll see you in hell...
 * Angel of Death... Weren't you the one who said Englishmen looked forward to growing old? You've seemed to have abandon your maturity. Truly a terrible shame, you were such a lovely old man. It pains me to see how wretched and ugly you've become. Your body and soul corrupted. A dark reaper to the very core.
 * Every time I die, this is the vision that greets my eyes. And every time I think, 'How lovely that sunlight which I forsook so many centuries ago...'

Seras Victoria

 * "Sir, yes, Sir, my Master."
 * "They're not real people. They're like...zombie pumpkins."
 * "Makes you wonder, doesn't it. If there are normal people under this uniform."
 * [while leading a Japanese tour group] "Hiii! Right this way, everybody!"
 * "It's just an illusion...just an illusion...!"
 * "I’ll make those bastards pay. Every last one of them...will fucking die. I’ll tear them to shreds!"
 * (to Zorin Blitz) "You called (Pip Bernadotte) a gnat, didn't you? You called him a gnat. You'll pay for this. You will pay! You're going to pay! YOU'LL PAY!" (bites Pip and begins drinking his blood)
 * (to Pip's corpse, after becoming a full vampire) "Thank you, Captain. Rest in peace. But not yet... Not yet!"
 * "I did what you told me... In return you're going to help me...send these Nazis to Hell!"
 * "Together, you and I will slaughter them all!"
 * (while killing Zorin Blitz) "How does it feel having someone fuck with your head!? HOW DOES IT FEEL, YOU BITCH!?"
 * "I'm not afraid of anything anymore."
 * "Master, you seem to have grown a mustache."
 * "It felt like if I drank the blood, it would mean the end of something important inside of me."
 * (after defeating The Captain) "He looked like a child. Who just woken up from a pleasant dream.  These men... They've been trapped in the same dream since World War II.  But tonight, Mr. Bernadotte, I'll wake them up.  All of them."

Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing

 * "They have dared to enter this house, built on blood and honour. I will see them roast in the deepest pits of Hell!"
 * (sarcastically) "You cut his head off? Is that all? […] Cut off his head? Pierced his heart? He is nothing like any vampire you’ve ever known. Your tricks won’t kill him. You may be the fruit of the finest anti-vampire technology, but a hundred years of the Hellsing family’s occult knowledge produced this achievement: our crown glory! The vampire Alucard!"
 * "You did your duty; farewell."
 * "I really don't care who you are. just tell me what you want."
 * "You've done nothing but show contempt for our treaties. This latest incident with Anderson in Northern Ireland was inexcusable."
 * "Don't you dare question my resolve! I have already given you your marching orders, soldier! You will search and destroy! SEARCH AND DESTROY! Any resistance you encounter is to be CRUSHED! Hellsing does not run from our enemies! Kill them all! I order you to leave nothing but bloody stains in your wake!"
 * "Don't underestimate humanity, you freaks! Come on!  Let's have it!"
 * "You're too loud, Police Girl. I don't care if you are a vampire.  You're still English; have some manners."
 * "I cut my finger. I don't want it to get infected.  Kiss it for me."
 * "Just what I expected from a king of vampires. Or a count."
 * "I hope you can claim your iron cross from your corporal, in hell."

Walter C. Dornez

 * "Oh dear, I missed...I guess I'm not as spry as I used to be. My name is Walter Dornez, butler to the Hellsing family and former master vampire hunter."
 * [quotes Jan Valentine against him] "I highly recommend pissing yourself, followed by a course of praying to your impotent God."
 * "Miss Integra, back the car up and find another way around."
 * "Now then, its time to take these children across my knee."
 * "I answer to no man's will, but my own. I am myself in mind, body, and soul. I am Walter C. Dornez, the angel of death, and as the dawn light cuts through the darkness, so shall I reap all of your souls in bloody turn."
 * "You once told me, Alucard, that true immortals don't exist... you might be onto something, so let's put it to the test! Let's keep killing you until you stay down."
 * "Did you forget who made that gun for you...? That gun was meant to defeat Anderson, and I'm no Anderson."
 * "[his hands begin to shake erratically during his battle with Alucard] Grh... my body... is starting to give out! I prepared for this... I rebelled knowing this would happen... this was always inevitable."
 * "We are the evening's entertainment. And I... just wanted to do something with my time on the stage worthy of applause."
 * "The show is over, Mina. The curtain's falling, we've taken our bows, it's high time we made our exit."

Pip Bernadotte

 * "What was that? Some kind of evil love beam?"
 * "Now then, let's go and die like mangy dogs. Let's die while yelling "Fuck, Fuck!" as we take gut shots. As we writhe in agony."
 * "Oh, the iniquity! Damn you, bourgeoisie! Damn you!"
 * "Face it, this room will be our tomb; the mansion our gravestone; and our gravekeeper will be that cast-iron bitch Integra. And our epitaph? "Here lies the fearsome Wild Geese who kicked beaucoup Nazi ass for queen and crumpets." But they won't write any of that. Because of you it'll say: "Here lies those gutless pussies that died pissing themselves and screaming like schoolgirls. Man the fuck up, bitch!  You'll die with honor even if I have to tie you to your damn post!  You take the money because you like it, and you fight because you like it and now... you're going to die like a merc and like it!"
 * "It was never about the money, it was always about the fun."
 * "Disgusting, no? It's plunder from when they ransacked Europe half a century ago.  These bastards shook out whole countries like piggy-banks, taking everything of value.  No matter how small.  Everything from gold ingots and wads of cash down to pocket watches and gold teeth.  The fearsome Schutzstaffel.  They think they're Nietzsche's wet dream, but they're just vultures picking at the dead.  They're a bunch of misfits who think war is some kind of costume ball.  The invincible army?  The knights of steel?  What a pack of losers."

Enrico Maxwell

 * "My name is Enrico Maxwell. I'm the head of the Iscariot organization; I am honored to meet you."
 * "I'm here on the direct orders from His Holiness. Otherwise I would not bother with you filthy creatures! So just shut up and pay attention, you miserable English sow!"
 * "The great vampire Alucard, the Hellsing family's pet creature; I don't believe I've ever seen you in person before. It's a great pleasure to make your acquaintance."
 * "I think you'll agree that turnabout is fair play...so why don't we make this fight interesting? [snaps fingers] ANDERSON!!!"
 * "But you did more than help fund the operation, and you were more than a mere pawn. The title more suited to you, my friend, is collaborator."
 * "The only good Protestant is a dead Protestant!"
 * "England...is guilty! The heathens...are guilty! You are all now sentenced...to your death! Death! Death! Death! DEATH!"
 * "I can offer you my pity, but my forgiveness? NEVER! Now prepare to be purged from the earth!  Mowed down like grass... CRUSHED LIKE BUGS!!!"
 * (watching Alucard releasing his stored souls) "Im...impossible! How can something like that exist?!"
 * (as Alucard releases his old army and regains his original vampiric form) "Wallachia's...it can't be! You consumed them! Your own soldiers! Your own subjects! You're a fiend! A monster! A devil! You...DRACULA!"

The Major (SS-Sturmbannführer)

 * First Lieutenant Rip Van Winkle, do you know how Der Freischütz ends? Kaspar, having trifled with the Black Huntsman Zamiel, is whisked away to hell for his sins. His corpse is then thrown into a ravine to be eaten by wolves. Prepare yourself, First Lieutenant, for now, Zamiel comes to collect you.
 * And so it came to pass that those who had gathered before a painted line of spears found themselves reunited before the real thing. On one side, a division of panzergrenadier vampires from Germany's Third Reich: the dreaded 572 vampire soldiers of the Last Battalion! On the other side, 2975 knights of the Roman Catholic Vatican Curia: Ninth Airborne Mobile Crusade. In the middle, Her Majesty's Hellsing Organization! Just three of these mighty soldiers remain. All is ready; the players prepare to take the stage, and the curtain rises over this Walpurgis Dawn!
 * By the time they realize their destinies never left my palm, my fist will have already closed in around them.
 * Here it comes - I can feel it! A mighty river...a river of death! The dead shall dance...and all of Hell shall sing!
 * [regarding Iscariot] Countless little lives struggling and dying together, like tiny cells making up a great beast struggling towards its own elimination; seeking blood whilst spilling blood; continuously multiplying and receding; fighting with itself without end.
 * [Speech regarding Alucard and vampirism] All variables are falling beautifully into place, Doctor. He is rebuilding his castle brick by bloody brick. Sieg gehört jetzt mir. (Victory is mine now.) He wears the guise of a man, but I never thought of him as one. Or even as a vampire, for that matter. He is king and castle both; his dominion - the river Styx, the untold dead he's drowned in it - his subjects. What cost victory? What ploy will leave him in the dust? These questions run through my mind every waking moment. Thoughts of him even invade my dreams leaving me crying out for bloodshed. And now, at long last, our war has dawned... I bring all that I am to this fight - body and soul. But is it enough? How do our arsenals compare? He can change form, summon familiars, bend men to his will and the taste of human blood brings him life anew. And these powers he can call upon as quickly as a man might blink! But I take the stage with nothing. Why, you ask? Because I am a human being. To be a vampire, to taste life eternal and wage war throughout the centuries - what a perfect existence! But that is a bridge too far; I cannot embrace undeath! [Flashback to World War II] Vampirism is brilliant - one can quaff another's soul like a vintage eiswein (ice wine) and steal everything that defines them. [Flashback: Major denies vampirism.] Mein Herz, meine Seele, mein Leben (My heart, my soul, my life) - they belong to me. Sharing one's life with another and they with you - losing the borders of oneself in a great sanguine sea... To gain by losing, what a delicious irony. It is the bliss of acquiesce. It is the bliss of... surrender. And so I say - to hell with you! What's mine, is mine alone! Every hair, every drop of blood... I am me... I am me. I am me! You are ruin made flesh, made beautiful. You are loved, and so I despise you. That is why you are my foe, my dazzling count. You are that most precious thing - a worthy opponent. An arch enemy. A king upon which to wage war! What you call victories are nothing more than the opening salvos of a battle fifty years in the making! [Closeup of Schrödinger] Our decades of preparation they were all for this moment. The last battalion, the ninth crusade, Father Anderson, the faithful Captain and duplicitous Walter - all of them were steps leading to the pyre upon which Alucard will burn! He has no choice but to release his final restriction and set loose his true form. At last he'll stand alone atop the battlements! Would it be Anderson who dispatches him or Walter who carries the day? I think he'll destroy them both! He is less than a man, but also much more. A century ago his reign of terror paralyzed London. Five hundred years ago he held back the Ottoman Empire. If that great river of blood meets his lips - the game is lost. He'll knock aside the chessboard like a petulant child. Life and death - he's cheated them both for centuries! How does one go about slaying such a force of nature? Do you cut through wave after wave of thralls on the battlefield and take his head like one of the Teutonic Knights of old? Nein. (No.) He'll simply summon more of his stolen blood, but that could work in my favor, because my enemy's greatest strength is also his Achilles' heel; tyrants have always been especially susceptible to poison.
 * [To Integra Hellsing] Deny it all you want... My humanity is not in question. I still have that one trait that puts us in ascendance, even above the angels. It is my will that drives me. The vampires you were so happy to keep in your employ... without the lifeblood of others to keep them going, they would shamble to a halt... If it’s a monster you want, look no further then Alucard... and this little one [Seras Victoria] playing at immortality... Don’t mention me in the same breath as that fraud... So long as I am propelled forward by my own unadulterated will, I am heir to something Alucard can only steal... Even if I were reduced to nothing more then a brain in a jar, synapses firing in a sea of pure thought... I am human just like you are.
 * Within me, rests a human soul... and a humans will, precious beyond all worth! He [Alucard] smiles at you in the form of a young girl or pulls at your heartstrings in the guise of a weary veteran... so many faces a monster has... and all of them stolen! All of them lies!  I despise him.  Every cell in my body called for his annihalation!  So I destroyed his kingdom and cast him down into the dust!  Fitting how it took a man with the trappings of a monster to slay a monster with the trappings of a man.
 * [After Alucard disappears from existence] I must admit, that after all the defeats I have suffered, victory's taste is strange upon my tongue.  It has hints of blood... and iron. (with relish) I love it!
 * He, he, he! I finally hit something! [falls down to his death] "Ah... Excellent... ["smiles while dying"] This was exactly... What I hoped my war would be...

The Doctor

 * "Alright everyone, it's time for us to open up our handbooks."
 * (watching the Major and the battle of London) "He thinks that it is music. The music of the battlefield! The Major...! He's conducting it! The battle is his symphony...and we are his instruments. Great, howling instruments, wailing his cacophonous thoughts! How can anything stand against him?!"

Tubalcain Alhambra

 * "Work your hardest, gentlemen. If you really want your paradise without getting sick or growing old."
 * "I am here to take your unlife, Mr. Alucard. Millenium has given me the task of bringing you in; well, at least a sample of you, anyway."
 * "Right into my trap!"
 * [watching Alucard retreat to the roof of the hotel] "Oh, no you don't. [leaps to the side of the hotel and begins walking up the side of the wall] Alucard the vampire...you are so disappointing!"
 * "Are you ready for another round, Mr. Alucard? I bet they have a special place ready for you...in the deepest pits of hell."
 * "You expect me to squeal? Are you serious? Don't you see what is happening?! If only the world were so simple - you really have gone completely soft in the head!"
 * "GO TO HELL! [cuts a Harkonnen shell in half] I've had enough of these pests."

Luke Valentine

 * [in response to Alucard's claim that no one is truly immortal] "Yes, I know. And once I have your head on a stick, everyone else will know too. So now I get to kill you and make my wildest dreams come true!"
 * "You've never seen anything like me before! I was designed to surpass you in every way! I was born to be your death!"
 * [regarding Alucard's new handgun, Jackal] "A pistol...did that? Jesus."
 * "I told you, I'm completely different from any creature you've ever faced before! I have the sum total of your vampiric power at my disposal - all of it and more!"
 * "He's not even trying to dodge the bullets. Does he think he's indestructible?! Everything has a breaking point!"
 * "He may act like he's not injured, but he's taking far more damage than I am. I can beat him!"
 * "What are you? What the hell are you?!"
 * "Shut up! You're nothing but the Hellsing family toy! A dog for the Church of England not even fit to call himself a vampire!"

Jan Valentine

 * "Er...hello? Is this thing on? Cool. This message is going out to the Round Table Conference, and a very personal and heart-filled shout-out to the queen bitch herself, Miss Hellsing! All right! Your ass is currently being kicked by the Valentine Brothers! My name is Jan Valentine, and I can't wait to meet each and every one of you. We'll be getting intimate as soon as me and the boys finish lunch, so let me be the first to thank you for providing us with these tasty snacks! By tomorrow, Hellsing will be nothing more than a pile of shit. You got nowhere left to run and nowhere to hide. ‘Cause now, I’m gonna kill you. I want to see you cry and beg. In the meantime, I highly recommend pissing yourselves, followed by a course of praying to your impotent God! But hey! You can try being a man and just kill yourselves. Thank you, London! We love you! GOODNIGHT!"
 * (pinned by Seras) "FUCK! Ow! Lemme go! I'm supposed to be on top, bitch!"
 * "Up, up! Down, down! Left, right, left, right! Bringing the motherfucking death by Konami! Man, I'm so fucking hard right now."
 * "Fuck, these are some fine cigars. Like, all bourgeois and shit. I mean, come on, that's just fucked up! People are starving in the world, and she's wasting money on this? A slow and agonising death is too good for that stick-up-her-ass bitch. I think it's time someone gave her an old-fashioned working-class asskicking!"
 * "Little Hellsing chickie, we're coming to find you. Come out and play, little Hellsing. I promise it's going to be a lot of fun. We just want to torture you, kill you, maybe skullfuck your corpse a couple of times, burn your house to the ground, and go home and masturbate, okaaay?"
 * "See, I so fucking told you! Ha ha ha! Well, since I'm fucked, how about I piss a little wisdom on you dipshits? You can take this clue and shove it up your ass, bitch! Beware...the Millennium!"
 * (After Walter kills a few of Jan's Ghouls) "Oh man, that's fucking great. Cause I gotta tell ya, plowing through you guys was really starting to bore the fuck outta me!"
 * "What up, bitch?"

First Lieutenant Rip van Winkle

 * "I'm the huntress, Rip van Winkle. Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor - my bullet punishes all without distinction."
 * (contemptuously) "Silly creature."
 * "And so I have acquired a pretty ship."
 * "Oh, you're up! I ran out of paint before I could finish, so I had to improvise.  It was a bit drab up here,  so I thought I'd properly christen our new ship.  Much more homey, don't you think?  The German Third Reich's Atlantic Naval Fleet Flagship Adler is now commencing operations."
 * "Its him! The voice of madness is coming. Raising the stench of death as he clenches the reins heading straight for us with his black iron horses in tow/He approaches, the harbinger of insanity. He is coming for me now atop his black iron stag and in his hands he holds the subtle fragrance of death."

First Lieutenant Zorin Blitz

 * "That's enough back talk from you, colonel. One more childish outburst and I'll blow your fucking head off."
 * "You take that panzerfaust...and you launch it straight up their mercenary asses!"
 * "Trust me, you'll love this!" (traps Seras in an illusion)
 * "Good morning Seras, it's time to wake up. Did somebody have a nightmare?"
 * (torturing Seras) "You can do better than that. Now, SCREAM!"
 * "God, you're such a weakling. And I was so sure you'd be a challenge. You're trash, like all those men I killed. Now, how to end this? Maybe I should just cut your head off. I've seen what's in there; this is a kindness! Now...die!"
 * (to Seras, after killing Pip Bernadotte) "Just breaks your heart, doesn't it? He was a bug, buzzing around my face; that's why I had to swat him down. Like a gnat!"
 * "By the way, if you thought you'd killed all my soldiers in the mansion, you're right. But we've had some late arrivals!"
 * "Let's take these bugs...and crush them between our fingers! Such is the death they deserve: the death of an insect!"
 * (watching her soldiers react to the fully-vampirized Seras) "What...? How is this possible? They're trembling! These battle-hardened Waffen-SS...these vampires who charged into gunfire and grenades without a moment's hesitation! They're ready to piss themselves at the sight of a girl! One stupid little girl who's more dead than alive! What the hell's going on?! Verdammt!"

Warrant Officer Schrödinger

 * "You're so slow. In the time it took you to walk down one little hallway, I went all the way to London, got my head blown off, and made it back.  Perhaps you should start thinking about going on a diet, mein Major."
 * "I am everywhere and nowhere."

Reinhold Fortner

 * "It's beautiful. Like a twilight view of hell. Below us is the only place fit for monsters such as us. It is the only place we would wish to be."
 * "Here we go, you frontline swine! Off to war!"

Episode 1

 * Alucard: You. Why didn't you drink the blood?
 * Seras: Uh...
 * Alucard: Why not drink?
 * Seras: I'm not sure. But it felt like... It felt like if I drank the blood... it would mean the end of something important inside of me.
 * Alucard: You are an idiot. But perhaps you have a point.  Perhaps it's time for a vampire who doesn't walk alone through the night.
 * Integra: Why on earth did you turn her into a vampire?
 * Alucard: Why indeed. For fun?  For sport?  Maybe it was just a whim.  Maybe.  But that doesn't sound like me.  Perhaps after years spent with humans, you've finally rubbed off on me.  I might be developing a sense of whimsy.  (To Seras) Let's go, Police Girl.  Don't dawdle.
 * Seras: Yes sir! My Master!  But you see, sir, my name's not "Police Girl."  It's "Seras Victoria," sir.
 * Alucard: Enough! You coward.  You are a Police Girl.  Police Girl will do.
 * Seras: You're mean!
 * Integra: Just what I expect from a king of vampires. Or a count.

Episode 2

 * Alexander Anderson: I must say, this is an excellent museum. Perhaps next time, I'll be allowed to bring the children from the orphanage.
 * Enrico Maxwell: Of course! That won't be a problem.
 * Alexander Anderson: [quietly] Next time, I swear I will rip him to bloody pieces...

Episode 3

 * Walter: I've been informed that a SWAT team is going to storm the building.
 * Integra: How do you think Alucard is going to handle the situation?
 * Walter: I imagine he'll feel that they are an obstacle baring his way to the main objective, and history has made clear his favorite tactics for dealing with obstacles.
 * Integra: Even if they are humans? Just ordinary, ignorant men.
 * Walter: You seem to sometimes forget who he really is... Alucard, he's a monster.


 * The Major: Hahahahaha! Poor Dandy Man! He looks like a broken rag doll. Our opponent is quite impressive, isn't he? He's stronger than anyone of us could've possibly imagine!
 * The Doctor: I am… I am so sorry, Major. I suppose this means that, I still have much work to do.
 * The Major: Please! Don't be ridiculous. Zhis is the dawn of our great success. The zhings we've learnt today will serve us well against zhe Alucard in the future. We've gained access to a most extraordinary being, a midian, more than a person, a vampire. I tell you doctor, fifty years of hard work are about to pay off! You will build monsters, turn zhem into soldiers, organize them, train them, supply them, militarize them and command them! Ve are the Last Battalion! Das Letzte Battalion! It is magnificent, my brilliant doctor!
 * The Doctor: Thank you, Major.
 * The Major: Good... Zhis most delightful show must now draw to an end. It's time we headed back home for a bit, don't you zhink? Captain! Let's bring her home and quickly. We've kept the gentlemen at the opera house waiting long enough. So please let us make haste, I imagine by zhis time they are about ready to explode with anger.
 * Zeppelin Captain: Understood, very serious business indeed. I'll have her at full tilt all zhe way, Major! Da steht, Gang! Alle Klappen, engagiert!
 * Airship Crewman 1: Da steht, Gang! Alle Klappen, engagiert!
 * Zeppelin Captain: Steuerbord, zwanzig!
 * Airship Crewman 1: Steuerbord, zwanzig!
 * The Major: Destination, Jablow, Panther, Schanze. We're coming! And I don't care how many Hundreds or Thousands or Millions or Billions of people try to stop me! Yes! Anyvone who's there, standing in my vay will be destroyed! Welcome to this crazy time… Willkommen zu verrückte Zeit.

Episode 4
''[The Major addresses the British government, Hellsing and Iscariot via a videoscreen provided by Schrödinger. In the background, other Nazi "defeatist" officers are being slaughtered by the Letzte Battalion vampire troops]''
 * Schrödinger: Major, looks like you've really got your hands full!
 * The Major: No, things are going vell!  It feels as though a veight has finally been lifted from my shoulders.  I'm feeling quite satisfied.
 * Alucard: Hello, Major.
 * The Major: (delighted) Alucard!  I'm so happy to see you again, it's been really far too long. (Alucard laughs)
 * Integra Hellsing: (coldly) What is it that you want?
 * The Major: Hmm?  Oh, finally, face-to-face with the Fräulein herself, Sir Integra Hellsing! (bows)  It's a pleasure to meet you.
 * Integra Hellsing: What's the purpose of this- what are you trying to accomplish?!  Answer me!
 * The Major: ...Ze purpose, you ask?  What a  silly question, my beautiful Fräulein.  Purpose... (chuckles coldly)  To put it in ze simplest possible terms, Fräulein, our purpose is a total absence of purpose.  You should be avare, Fräulein, zat zere are some people in zis vorld- certain irredeemable lumps- for whom ze means does not require an end. (pause)  I speak, of course, of myself.

[he snaps his fingers, and the Letzte Battalion vampires begin slaughtering the Colonel who threatened him earlier]
 * The Doctor: (adressing the Letzte Battalion troops as he videotapes the feeding) Be sure to eat every bite.  If he turns into a ghoul, I vill not be happy.
 * Schrödinger: Oh, vow!  I didn't think your decision vould be zat harsh, sir!
 * Enrico Maxwell: (contemptuously) You are insane. All of you!
 * The Major: Did I just hear somevone from Iscariot questioning my sanity? Zen, let me ask you:  If your God would allow my madness to flourish across the globe... zen, wouldn't it seem to you, zat any God like zat, would be just as mad as I? (Maxwell looks furious)  Ve are ze finest of ze Third Reich! Do you have any idea how many people we've killed?!  I'm insane?  Vhat foolishness.  You didn't have any objections fifty years ago.  But, never mind zat.  Try to stop me, then, you self-proclaimed "normal people".  But, unfortunately, Iscariot is not my true enemy.  My true enemy is Britain, ze Hellsings.  Well, really, it's that man, laughing in ze corner back there.

[Alucard is indeed convulsed with mad laughter]
 * Alucard:... A declaration of war'; excellent! I can't wait to destroy you again!
 * The Major: No matter vhat you do, we will never give up.  We will reverse this ridiculous situation as many times as we have to.
 * Integra Hellsing: Alucard, Seras. Kill him.

[Alucard sticks the barrel of the Jackal into Schrödinger's mouth and blows his head off.]
 * The Major: Fine, shoot ze messenger, if zis is vhat it comes to.  Auf wiedersehen, mein Fräulein.  I look forward to meeting you again across ze battlefield.

''[Seras blows apart the videoscreen with her Harkonnen. The group then notice that Schrödinger's body has disappeared without a trace]''
 * Queen Elizabeth II: Alucard, Sir Hellsing. Destroy them.  You have your orders.






 * Major: My friends, it has often been said that I like war. Friends, I like war.  No, friends, I love war! I love holocausts.  I love blitzkriegs.  I love defensive lines.  I love sieges, charges, I love mop-up operations, and retreats.  Wars across prairies, in streets, in trenches, in grasslands, in frozen tundras, through deserts, on the sea, in the air, I love every act of war that can occur upon this earth.  I love blasting the enemy to smithereens with artillery salvos that thunder across the lines of battle.  My heart leaps with joy whenever a soldier is tossed high into the air and cut to pieces by well placed sniper rounds, and there is nothing like a tank operator using a Tiger 88 to destroy enemy tanks.  And the feeling that comes when a soldier runs screaming from his blazing tank only to be mowed down by heavy machine gun fire, is such an exquisite feeling.  Like when ranks of infantry brandish their bayonets rushing into the enemy line. It moves me deep within my heart to watch a fresh recruit stabbing over and over into the bloated chest of a long-dead enemy.  The sight of deserters being strung up from a street lamp is an irresistible pleasure. And there is nothing more arousing, than the sounds made by prisoners of war dropping like flies, screaming in agony as they're mowed down by ear piercing schmeissers!  When a band of pitiful resistance fighters makes their final stands with nothing but small arms, only to have their city smashed to atoms block by block by 4.8 ton bombshells, I'm in ecstasy.  I love it when my forces are ravaged by a Russian armored division. It's so sad to see towns and villages that were supposed to be defended at all costs, being laid to waste, their women and children being raped, and killed.  I love to be squashed under the heel of the British and American war machines.  The humiliation, as my men crawl around like vermin, ducking the jagdbombers flying overhead.
 * Major: Gentlemen, all I ask for is war. A war so grand as to make Hell itself tremble.  Gentlemen, I ask you as fellow brothers in arms, what is it you really want?  Do you wish for further war as I do?  Do you wish for a merciless, bloody war?  A war whose fury is built with iron, and lightning, and fire?  Do you ask for war to sweep in like a tempest, leaving not even ravens to scavenge from this Earth?!"
 * Millennium Soldiers: "Krieg! Krieg! Krieg! Krieg, krieg, krieg!"
 * Major: Very well. Then krieg is what you shall have.  We are a clenched fist, ready to strike down all who oppose us with our might.  But, after enduring over half a century wallowing in the darkness, for us, a simple, "ordinary" war will no longer be sufficient.  We need a massive war!  A war beyond any other that man's history has ever known!  We are but a single battalion, the remnants of a defeated army numbering less than a thousand strong.  However, I believe that each of you old warriors is worth a thousand of their sickly soft children! We represent a force that could easily defeat an army of a million and one men! It is time for them to awake, the ones who sent us screaming into oblivion, and who now lie sleeping.  Let's drag them out of bed by the hair, and remind them of what we are!  We will remind them of what it feels like to live in fear.  We will remind them of the sound our jackboots make against their throats. We will remind them, that there are more things between Heaven and Hell than are dreamt of in their philosophy.
 * Millennium Soldiers: It's Europe! We see the light of Europe!
 * Major: Our kampfgruppe of one thousand vampires is going to burn this world down to ash. Yes, my friends!  Soon, Europe's charred remains will illuminate the night sky!  I have brought you all back just as I promised I would.  Back to our favorite battlefield. Back to our beloved war!
 * Millennium Soldiers: Major! Sturmbannführer!  Battalion commander!  Major!  Sturmbannführer!  Battalion commander!
 * Major: At last, the sea lion has crossed the ocean and is heading up the hill! Attention soldiers of the Millennium battalion, this is a message from your commander! Friends... let's bring them Hell.

Episode 6
''[The Papal Knights of the Ninth Crusade assemble on the shores of France, with Maxwell at their head. The smoke and flame from London's destruction is clearly visible across the Channel]''
 * Courlandic Knight: From the Order of the Sword of Courland, I pledge unto thee 340 souls!
 * Spanish Knight: From the Order of Calatrava La Nueva, I pledge 118 souls unto thee!
 * Tuscan Knight: The Order of Santo Stefano Di Tuscana pledges 257 souls unto thee!
 * Maltese Knight: And, from the Order of Malta, 2,457 souls!

[Maxwell chuckles coldly and walks forward to inspect the troops; the army and their four commanders kneel]
 * Maltese Knight: The Holy Father has ordered us here.  He has promoted you, in absentia, to Archbishop- as befits your task.   Congratulations, Your Grace.  We, the faithful, here assembled, form Knights of the Ninth Crusade.  We are yours to command, Archbishop Maxwell.(offers Maxwell an Archbishop's sash)  Employ us as you will.

[Barely controlling his savage glee, Maxwell takes the sash and drapes it around his shoulders]
 * Enrico Maxwell: Amen! I accept this with all my being!  Your target is London- destroy it!  Let this new era of Catholic might, this Reconquista- now begin!

''[The Knights and Maxwell's clerics rise and begin chanting "Amen!" ominously as they go to board their helicopter gunships]''
 * Enrico Maxwell: (chuckling coldly) Ahh- to think that a bastard, reviled and spat upon by polite society, would be made an Archbishop, and be given an army.
 * Deacon: Director!
 * Enrico Maxwell: Well, what is it?
 * Deacon: (hands him a set of photos) Here- look! (Maxwell scans a photograph of a ship approaching the English coast) It's that carrier- the British one!
 * Enrico Maxwell: These coordinates- it's moving again?  That's absurd!  After the damage it took?  It's impossible! (his clerics look worried)
 * Deacon: Director, the ship's speed is just a few knots- but, it's definitely heading... to London.
 * Clerics: Alucard is... coming! (Maxwell hands the photos back to the Deacon)
 * Enrico Maxwell: Let him come. Hellsing, Millennium and Alucard alike will perish at our feet.  (smiles savagely)  The Lord will use us as a cudgel to lay his foes in the dust.  Now, go- our time as the tool of God's Holy wrath... is BEGUN! (The Vatican gunships begin lifting off and flying towards London)
 * Deacon: (staring after them fearfully) Look at them- everyone, charging into Hell with a joyous heart! What man among them can enter such carnage, and hope to return alive?!  They're going to die, all of them- and they'll thank God for the battle!

-
 * Integra Hellsing: (referring to the bickering Yumie and Heinkel) They want to tie me up, or shoot me? What is it that you want, Anderson?
 * Alexander Anderson: What do you think? Teaming up against an unarmed woman to do God knows what to her?  We're Paladins, not rapists. (Yumie and Heinkel are cowed)
 * Integra Hellsing: I'm glad we're of one mind- but, I really shouldn't walk home alone. Come on. (she starts walking)
 * Alexander Anderson: Aye- we'll protect your maiden virtue. (Yumie, Heinkel and the other Iscariot priests look stunned)
 * Integra Hellsing: (amused) Step lively, Papists.
 * Yumiko Takagi/ Heinkel Wolfe: (furious) YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS! (Iscariot grudgingly follows her and Anderson)
 * Heinkel Wolfe: Vhat are ve doing?!  How did she rope us all into this?!
 * Yumiko Takagi: This is terrible- Bishop Maxwell's gonna be so angry!
 * Heinkel Wolfe: You know, we have sort of taken her into custody- figuratively?
 * Yumiko Takagi: (contemptuous) Please- he's not gonna buy that.
 * Heinkel Wolfe: (irritated) Shut your pie hole!
 * Alexander Anderson: Heinkel- see if you can't find us an automobile. We're a bunch of sitting ducks on foot.
 * Heinkel Wolfe: Right!
 * Iscariot Priest: Father Anderson, do you think this is wise?  Your obedience will be called into doubt.
 * Alexander Anderson: Let them call it into doubt, if they dare. There's something about Maxwell's methods, that just don't sit right with me.

Episode 7

 * Seras Victoria: (having been badly injured and blinded by Zorin Blitz) Mr Bernadotte- say something!
 * Pip Bernadotte: (having been mortally wounded by Zorin) Jesus- what a bloody bear.
 * Seras Victoria: What did she do?!
 * Pip Bernadotte: (chuckles weakly) You came charging in, to save me- and now, I have to save you. What the Hell. (lights a final cigarette, Seras crawls weakly towards him)
 * Seras Victoria: Why didn't you run away?

''[She finally reaches him as the cigarette falls from his lips. As Seras pulls herself upright, Bernadotte leans forward and kisses her'')
 * Pip Bernadotte: (chuckles, then coughs blood) Finally stole that kiss! Took you being blind, but I got it!
 * Seras Victoria: (sadly) Bernadotte...
 * Pip Bernadotte: Hey now, what's with the tears? I had a damn good run, Seras. (pause) Now, suck my blood.  Take me into yourself... so we can win this fight. (keels over) I told you- don't waste your tears on a mercenary. (Seras pulls him upright and embraces him)  You lost those pretty blue eyes of yours, trying to save me- you lost your arm, too.  What a waste, foolish Ma Chere.  Another time, maybe- another place.  You are a rare woman, Seras.  I die, so that she can live- all right. (dies)

- [Seras, having been resurrected by draining Bernadotte, begins slaughtering Zorin's entire squad of SS-vampires]
 * Zorin Blitz: (to herself) It's not possible- it's bullscheize!  She's cutting through my reinforcements- Gott, she's headed straight for me!

''[Seras dives straight at Zorin and pins her to the floor, knocking the scythe out of her hand. Zorin punches her several times, until Seras intercepts her fist and bites off her fingers; she spits them out contemptuously]''
 * Seras Victoria: (enraged) Even if I were about to die, I wouldn't drink a single Goddamn drop of your evil blood. I don't want you inside of me!! (slams Zorin's head against the floor)

[Weakening and desperate, Zorin uses her illusion powers to invade Seras' mind, causing her to loosen her hold; Zorin grins cruelly]
 * Seras Victoria: Oh, God...
 * Zorin Blitz: Hahahahaha! Let's go deeper! Zat's it, even deeper! Yes, take it!  Show me your pain! (pause, confused and angry)... Vhat am I looking at?!  Zese aren't her memories!  Vhat's going on here?!  Zis isn't right!  Everyzing's in disarray- why can't I go any deeper into her head?  It's like zese fucking memories are protecting her!

[The memories begin to show Pip, rather than Seras, to Zorin's shock]
 * Zorin Blitz: It's him- zat arrogant mercenary! Zat goddamn gnat!
 * Schrödinger: (pops out of one of the memories) Blood is ze currency of ze soul. Ze vehicle of life.  Having blood offered... is a very different experience, zan taking it. (pause) Are you okay? (chuckles)  You look awful.
 * Zorin Blitz: How are you here?
 * Schrödinger: Don't act so surprised, Zorin. As zey say, I am everyvhere and novhere. (bows) I am here to deliver a message from ze Major- straight from our fearless leader's mouth!  "Every soldier dreams of leading ze charge against ze foe- such is their revard.  But, a long-suffering commander- vhat is his revard vhen zey fail, vhen zey go against orders, lose men, and prove zemselves inept?" (beams) Zat's ze message.  Under normal circumstances, zey would have burned you to a crisp long before now, but- ze Major and Doc got zeir hands on zis fascinating new toy, and zey don't have time to deal vit you. (chuckles) And Seras seems to have you pretty vell taken care of.  Such a paradox- zis monster is Seras Victoria, yet not Seras Victoria.  Rest assured, she'll be ending your unlife any moment now. Auf Wiedersehen. (vanishes)

- [In a post-credits scene, the Major stands atop the Deus Ex Machina with Schrödinger as it flies over the burning ruins of London]
 * The Major: (sighs in ecstasy) Zis is it- vhat my eyes have so longed for.  Ahh- vhat a sight.
 * Schrödinger: For vhat it's worth, Zorin's dead, sir.  Killed by a gnat.
 * The Major: (chuckles) Vell, zat's hardly a surprise. Watch how it burns, boy- like ze end of ze Gotterdämerung.
 * Schrödinger: (amused)... Major, you're such a meanie. You bring a whole army vith you- but really, zey're nothing but kindling for your own personal bonfire
 * The Major: (pause, smiles) What is Hell, if not a bonfire? I am become Death- I am ze serpent, devouring myself.  I take, and am taken from, vithout end.  How many days, of wild aspiration- how many nights, of black entropy, have I slain, to witness zis triumph?  Our destruction approaches... together vit our victory!

Episode 8
[a large number of the Papal Knights land in the center of London and assume phalanx formations; most of the surviving Letzte Battalion troops converge opposite them]
 * Enrico Maxwell: (via loudspeaker, above the battlefield) Enemies stand to our left- enemies stand to our right! Eradicate all who stand before you!  Execute them all- Kill them!  DESTROY!

''[The Vatican gunships still in the air begin to open fire on civilians and Letzte Battalion alike. Several begin targeting the Deus Ex Machina as it approaches. The firepower begins to penetrate the outer hull of the zeppelin; a chunk of armor plating whizzes over Doc's head, forcing him to flatten against the deck; Schrödinger and the Major are unfazed]''
 * The Doctor: (frantically) Major! Do you hear me?!  Please, come back inside!  Ze armor plating von't hold out for long! (the Major ignores him)  Major- (he stops himself as he sees the Major sweeping his hands back and fourth in dramatic gestures)... He thinks zat it is music! Music of ze battlefield! (pause) Ze Major... he's conducting it!  Ze battle is his symphony, and ve are his instruments- great, howling instruments, vailing his cacophonous notes!  How could anything stand against him?!

[At that moment, a Vatican helicopter pulls up directly in front of the Major, but the Major simply continues "conducting"]
 * Vatican Pilot: We found our target! He's on toppa the airship!
 * Vatican Gunner: What the Hell is he doing? He's a-crazy- a mad ghost of war! (he trains the helicopter's gatling guns on the Major, who strikes a pose)
 * The Doctor: Major!
 * Vatican Gunner: Die! (at that moment, microfilament wires slash the gunship to bits; the wreckage plummets and explodes)
 * The Major: (grins) Quick und excellent vork... my butler. (he, Doc and Schrödinger glance behind them to see a rejuvenated Walter, standing next to the Captain)


 * Alucard: My Lord and Master, Integra Hellsing! GIVE ME YOUR ORDERS!
 * Integra Hellsing: Alucard, take heed:  Here are your orders.  Your silver gun shall stain the white army crimson.  Your iron gun shall stain the black army scarlet.  I would know my foes by the stains of red you leave upon their chests!  Now, search and destroy!  Search and destroy!  Run them down- do not let any of them leave the island alive!
 * Alucard: My master... It shall be done, as you command.
 * Integra Hellsing: Release Control Art Restriction: Zero!  Announce your return- say the words, and release your full power! NOW!
 * Alucard: (exhales deeply) "I am... the Bird of Hermes." (on the carrier, the enchanted seals on Alucard's coffin break) Here standeth the Bird of Hermes- eating my own wings!"

[Anderson, the Captain, the Papal Knights and the Letzte Battalion all attack Alucard at once; Anderson and the Captain quickly withdraw, realizing their attacks have no effect]
 * Alexander Anderson: It's as if everyone here can feel it... something terrible is about to happen. If we can't put this monster down... we may all be doomed.
 * Alucard: (finishing his incantation as he is peppered with firepower) "To keep...myself... tame." (his coffin begins to open)
 * The Major: (atop the Deus Ex Machina, gleefully) Here it comes- I can feel it! A mighty river; a river of death!  Ze dead shall dance... and all of Hell shall sing!


 * Alexander Anderson: (staring forlornly at Maxwell's body, which has been impaled by Alucard's Wallachian cavalry) You were such a foolish boy.  A stupid, foolish boy. (he closes Maxwell's eyes and starts walking away, speaking into his earpiece)  This is Father Anderson, calling all Paladins.  We're returning to the Vatican. (elsewhere, Yumie, Heinkel and the other Iscariots look shocked)  The Ninth Crusade Expeditionary Force- Reconquista- has been completely destroyed.  Dawn's approaching- our dreams are dashed.  We're returning to the Vatican.
 * Heinkel Wolfe: Anderson! You're not serious!
 * Alexander Anderson: It's not your place to die here! Retreat!  Return to the Vatican- protect the Pope!  Protect the Church, until the End of Days! (he advances towards Alucard's army of familiars)  As for me, I'm gonna be staying behind.  I will find Alucard, and I will defeat him!
 * Yumiko Takagi: Anderson!  What do you think is gonna happen if you fight him?!
 * Alexander Anderson: It doesn't matter- it's now, or never.  Finally, Alucard has unlocked the last of the restraints upon his power.  He's finally in a form I may be able to do damage to!  The last of his demonic powers have finally been laid bare- he has dispatched all of the warriors from his stronghold.  Right now, the Lord of the manor stands alone.  For the first time, I can face a single vampire in combat.  Dracula... stands alone. (pause) This... all this was the sole objective of that mad battalion commander.  It was a giant sacrifice, designed to make Alucard vulnerable.  A thousand SS vampires, three thousand Crusaders, a million British citizens- all of them friend and foe, alike.  And, finally... he knew I'd be here.  Farewell, gentlemen!  Do not weep for Maxwell, the poor hapless fool.  He died as he lived: a spineless coward.  Farewell- and may we meet again in limbo.
 * Yumiko Takagi: Anderson!
 * Heinkel Wolfe: Father Anderson!

Episode 9

 * (after Alucard kills both Luke Valentine and Baskerville)
 * Walter: You've broken my new toy... Still! I've got you cornered! This is it, Alucard!
 * Alucard: Yes... it's time to put an end to this dance.

Episode 10
[As Seras and Integra fight their way through the passages of the Deus Ex Machina]
 * Vampire SS officer: Vhat took you so long? (grins at Seras) Strike me down, Fraulein; you do me a kindness! (Seras decapitates him)
 * Integra Hellsing:...They all die with a smile. They smile... because death is what they came here to obtain.
 * Seras Victoria: If they wanted it so damn badly, then they should have staked themselves, or jumped into a fire, or maybe not become vampires at all!
 * The Major: (over the loudspeakers) You make it sound so simple, little girl, vould that it were! But you see, mere death means nothing to us. I blush to admit it, but we seem to have painted ourselves into a bit of a corner.  For all of our successes this night, we are but relics of a bygone age. "Never again!" Zey cried, pushing us out of mind, denying us our legacy. But none of us are eager to die.  None of us simply want our existence to simply stop, like a watch no one vill bother to wind up. Zat vould be pointless. If we are to die, it must be a battle that shakes the very timbers of Valhalla, and nothing less! (the Captain appears at the end of the passage, blocking Seras and Integra's way) Zat is what brought us here- the scent of a worthy fight. Ve are starving, you see, but nothing fills us, nothing slakes this appetite. Ze good people of London were but a snack!  Ze world is a big plate, and a man might murder his neighbor for a multitude of reasons. Mein gott, ze potential! Zere is pleasure in a rout, but a true warrior must find a worthy foe, even if it takes him half a century. For us to die, there must be sturm und drang, like the world has never dared imagine! Otherwise, we are like ze crew of Vagner's Flying Dutchman, drifting forever.  That is what you mean to us- our last chance to come ashore. I tip my hat to you Hellsing, thou Royal Order of Protestant Knights!  You are vunderbar, truly! You bring us something precious; victory or death!  Which one, I do not know, but it will be sublime!
 * Seras Victoria: (eyeing the Captain) Master Integra, you need to go on ahead.
 * Integra Hellsing: (surprised) Seras!
 * Seras Victoria: Find him- and skewer that little toad!  Every word out of his mouth, is like poison- if I have to keep hearing it, I'll go mad! :(Integra pauses, then smiles and nods)
 * Integra Hellsing: All right- but don't you die.  That, I would never forgive. (pulls a cigar from her pocket)

[The Captain suddenly gestures at a sign labeled "Hauptquartier"; to their surprise, Integra and Seras realize he is giving Integra directions to find the Major]
 * Integra Hellsing: Hmph- such a good dog. (drops her cigar, walks down the passage until she is next to the Captain) Now, play dead. (She walks on, Seras and the Captain both take up battle stances)

 [Integra finally enters the Major's HQ room in the Deus Ex Machina]
 * Integra: SHOW YOURSELF! (the Major's chair swivels around and he grins at her)
 * Major: Ahh, Wilkommen! Fraulein, I'm so glad we finally get to meet each other in ze flesh.

''[Integra aims her handgun at him and empties the clip, but the shots are deflected by a wall of armored glass. She loads another clip and continues firing]''
 * Major: I don't think that gun is going to be very helpful.  Sorry- I should have warned you about ze glass.

''[Integra empties her gun, throws it aside and draws her sword to stab at the glass, but the sword snaps in half. The Major walks up to face her on the other side of the wall, gloating]''
 * Major: I feared you might not make it here in time for ze main event!  What a tragedy zat would have been.  You see, zis extravaganza is one night only.  Luckily, I've got ze best seat in ze house, and a winsome Hellsing on my arm! (he returns to his chair)
 * Integra: You coward!
 * Major: You are in for such a treat!  Enjoy!

[he presses a button on a remote, and the display shows Alucard outside as he absorbs the blood of the Letzte Battalion, the Crusaders and the dead citizens of London]
 * Major: You know, you only see zis sort of thing happen once a century. In fact, ze last time zis happened was back in 1898, it's been a while, ja? But zis time ze tragic hero Alucard... will utterly cease to exist when ze curtain falls!
 * Integra: He'll what?!


 * (Alucard begins to disappear)
 * Integra: What's this?! What's happening?! Answer me!!
 * Major: It's more a question of where. (chuckles) He has absorbed the essence of Warrant Officer Schrodinger, but as you can see, zis meal isn't quite agreeing with him, is it, mein Fraulein? By drinking Schrodinger's blood, Alucard has become the paradoxical cat. He is now shackled by infinite possibility- a Cheshire, chasing its unknowable tail across the endless vista.  As long as he is self-aware, he is everywhere and nowhere. But zat conundrum is now multiplied by the millions of lives and consciousnesses within Alucard.  To wit, he is no longer capable of recognizing himself.  'What does this all mean?' you ask?  Alucard is kaput, gone!  Not alive, dead or even undead!  He has become abstraction.  He is... an imaginary number.
 * Integra: Alucard! Don't close your eyes!  Heed my voice! (Alucard continues to fade, his various eyes closing)  Alucard!  I'm giving you an order! :::::::(pause, tearfully) Don't leave me!
 * Alucard: (smiles sadly) I fear... I must disobey you. Farewell, Integra. (vanishes)
 * Integra: (grief-stricken) Alucard! (around them, the Deus Ex Machina's control room catches fire)


 * Integra Hellsing: Burn in Hell, you swine!
 * The Major:...I vill. But...not just yet.  Sorry to disappoint you, Hellsing!
 * Integra Hellsing: Impossible- I saw the shell hit you!  You're dead.
 * The Major: Zat's where you're wrong.  I have never been more alive. (the smoke clears, revealing his damaged cyborg body)
 * Seras Victoria:...He's a machine.
 * The Major: Good Gracious- didn't your mother ever teach you zat it's rude to stare? Machinery aside, I am just as human now as I ever vas, Fraulein.
 * Integra Hellsing: (disgusted)...Look at you, Major. A clockwork monstrosity.
 * The Major: Deny it all you want! My humanity is not in question.  I still have zat one trait zat puts us in ascendance even above ze angels- it is my :vill zat drives me!  Ze vampires you vere so happy to keep in your employ- without ze lifeblood of others to keep them going, they vould shamble to a halt!  If it's a monster you vant, look no further than Alucard, and zis little one- playing at immortality.  Don't mention me in ze same breath as zat fraud!  So long as I am propelled forward by my own, unadulterated will, I am heir to something Alucard can only steal.  Even if I were reduced to nothing more zan a brain in a jar- synapses firing in a sea of pure thought- I am human, just like you are!  Vithin me rests a human soul- and a human's will, precious beyond all vorth.  He smiles at you, in ze form of a young girl, or pulls at your heartstrings in ze guise of a weary veteran- so many faces ze monster has, and all of zem stolen!  All of zem lies!  I despise him.  Every cell in my body called for his annihilation.  So, I destroyed his kingdom and cast him down into ze dust!  Fitting- zat it took a man vit ze trappings of a monster, to slay a monster vit ze trappings of a man!  He was a casualty of my will. (pause) My enemy is not human.  My enemy is less than a human.  Since ze earliest dawning of mankind, zis is ze battlecry!  It just happened to be more literal, in my case (laughs, points at Integra)  Zat battlecry- zose thoughts are running through your mind right now, aren't zey?  I planted ze seeds of zis var half a century ago- now, show me what has blossomed.

-
 * [Alucard returns, thirty years later. He walks over to a sleeping Integra and bends over, apparently to bite her neck, but she suddenly sits up and empties a handgun into him]
 * Seras Victoria: (bursts into the room with her Harkonnen) Are we under attack again, Master?! (she turns on the lights, she and Integra stare in disbelief at Alucard)
 * Alucard: (chuckling as his wounds heal) Such a violent welcome.  What an honor.
 * Seras Victoria: (delighted) You're back!
 * Integra Hellsing: (looks away, curtly) You're a bit later than I expected, Alucard.  Care to explain yourself?
 * Alucard: Killing oneself takes some time... and in my situation, there was a lot of self to kill.  Three million, four hundred twenty-four thousand, eight hundred sixty-seven souls, within me... clouding my mind, denying me awareness.  I butchered them all, until only I remained.  I have returned here... but, I'm also always nowhere.  It's a conundrum.  The truth of it is, I am everywhere. (his eyes glow pink, like Schrodinger's)
 * Integra Hellsing: You've returned... and in the meantime, I have grown old and grey.
 * Alucard:...Do forgive me.
 * Integra Hellsing: (turns to face him) Were you skulking in here... to drink my blood?
 * Alucard: (laughs) You need to ask? I haven't eaten anything in thirty years- I'm famished. (Integra walks over to him)
 * Integra Hellsing: (sadly) The young woman you knew is gone. I'm... ancient.
 * Alucard: (gently) And I'm not? (Integra smiles, then bites her finger until it bleeds)
 * Integra Hellsing: You're home... my dear Count.
 * Alucard: Back forevermore... my Countess.
 * [Integra extends her arm; Alucard opens his mouth hungrily. As a drop of blood falls from her finger into Alucard's mouth, the series ends]