Helluva Boss

Helluva Boss is a 2019 adult animated black comedy horror web series created by Vivienne Medrano.

Pilot

 * Moxxie: [to Millie] Honey, could you get the butter?
 * Millie: Sure, sweetie.
 * Blitz: Spoiler alert: The butter's spoiled. [Millie giggles]
 * Moxxie: What's funny, honey?
 * Blitz: Really impressive wordplay.
 * Moxxie: WHAT THE-- WHY ARE YOU IN OUR FRIDGE?!


 * [Moxxie wakes up to see Blitz staring him in the face]
 * Blitz: Watcha dreamin' about?
 * Mox: I was dreaming my parents were being murdered. But now, I'd like to go back to that.


 * Moxxie: [singing] Of all the imps in Hell, it's for her that I fell! Oh, Millie.... [leans in to kiss Millie, then hears Biltz's camera beep] ARE YOU FUCKING FILMING US RIGHT NOW?! [camera moves to show him outside the window]


 * Blitz: [Moxxie claims Blitz lives a lonely life; Millie tries to coerce him from angering Blitz] No, no no no, It's fine, Mills, its just your husband is, how do I say this without being offensive? Retarded.

Murder Family

 * Blitz: [to a departing Mrs. Mayberry] Bye, and don't worry - we'll get that skank in less than twenty-four hours, or your first kill is free!
 * Mox: When did we start implementing that deal?
 * Blitz: When you set fire to my office IN FRONT OF A CLIENT, YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT! Now someone PLEASE tell me that fancy book is still intact!
 * Loona: You mean our only ticket to the other side? [holds out the Grimoire] Yeah, got it.
 * Blitz: [fawning] And that's why you're my favourite, Loony! You get a treat now. [holds out a dog biscuit]
 * Loona: Eww, stop. [Blitz tosses it in the air, catches it with his tongue and eats it] You're SO gross!
 * Blitz: [flattered] Aww, stop it, I get enough of that from my therapist. Now let's go lick some ass!
 * Millie: [after creating a portal] The expression is "kick some ass", Blitz. [steps through it]
 * Blitz: Mine's better. [follows her]
 * Moxxie: [follows them, groaning] Ohh, fuck...!


 * Blitz: [after Moxxie fails to shoot the family] What the FUCK was that, Moxxie?!
 * Mox: [wheezes and gasps] I'm sorry! They just seemed so wholesome and happy... I panicked!
 * Blitz: Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie?! From the moment of birth, you're already a parasite leechin' off your momma's tits! Get the FUCK over yourself, you baby-dicked PRICK--! [Martha shoots through the wall, injuring his arm] AHH! A new hole! 'SCATTER! [they run away]


 * Stolas: [on the phone to Blitz] I was thinking, what if we worked out some kind of exchange? Favors for favors. Doesn't that sound... enticing?
 * Blitz: [dodging Martha's gunshots] You gotta stop using your fancy-ass rich people talk, okay?! I'm tryin' to concentrate on not getting FUCKED IN MY "A"!


 * [Martha tries to burn Blitz and Millie at the stake]
 * Martha: Satan! We return your filthy creatures to back to the pits of Hell! May the root of evil remain honoured as we continue thy work! [tosses her torch on the pyre, igniting a blaze]
 * Blitz: [after a moment] Yeah, that's not exactly how it works, lady. Sorry, your fire doesn't really hurt us, but, I mean, I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard. [smirks and makes a crude gesture with his tail]

Loo Loo Land

 * Stolas: What's that you're listening to?
 * Octavia: This song is called "My World Is Burning Down Around Me". It's by "Fuck You, Dad". [after a short pause] It's a band.
 * Stolas: Oh. How charming...


 * [Stolas suggests that he and Octavia go to Loo-Loo Land]
 * Octavia: I'd literally rather kill myself.
 * Stolas: There we go! Anything but staying in this house. Now, I'll arrange our security.
 * Octavia: Security for a theme park?
 * Stolas: We're rich and we're hot. People want our money and our bodies.
 * Octavia: Our money, maybe.
 * Stolas: Speak for yourself, princess. Now I'm going to call the only man who can f[bleep]k me!
 * Octavia: [cringing] What?!
 * Stolas: [trying to cover it up] Who can protect me. Us! Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuble, you know. [Octavia groans]


 * [Blitz is called by Stolas]
 * Blitz: WHAT?!
 * Stolas: Why, hello, my big-dicked Blitzy.
 * [Blitz and Octavia both spit out their coffee]
 * Blitz: WHAT...
 * Octavia: ...THE...
 * Blitz: FUCK...
 * Octavia: ...DAD?!
 * Stolas: Language, everyone!


 * Blitz: [Robo-Fizz calls him out] Bitch, I make more money killing people than you do being a cheap-ass robo-ripoff of an overrated sell-out JESTER!
 * Robo-Fizz: Oooh, [glitches as he says this] someone's salty! Real or not though, people looove me! Does anybody looove you, Blitzo?
 * Blitz: No. But I'm really good with guns now! [loads his assault rifle with a new magazine] Dance, bitch!

Spring Broken

 * Blitz: [to someone who takes his parking spot] Oh, you "Suck 4 Life", do ya?! [pulls out a megaphone] Listen up, you unoriginal pink cum-dump! You've got exactly three seconds to get the fuck out of my spot or, [he realizes that the driver is his ex girlfriend, Verosika Mayday] Oh, SHIT! Verosika?!
 * Verosika: Blitzo.
 * Blitz: I should have known you'd be here. I can smell fish for miles, which is odd, because I believe the nearest ocean is THREE RINGS DOWN!
 * Verosika: And I should have known you'd be here when I heard the Amber Alerts.


 * Loona: Hey, is there a way I can come with you guys this time?
 * Blitz: Absolutely not, I forbid it. Not gonna happen. Sorry, sweetie, spring break is no place for young vulnerable goth girls. You know the kind of FREAKS up there who'd drool all over you!
 * [Blitz, Loona, Moxxie and Millie all give the camera disapproving looks]


 * [Loona is talking with Verosika's hellhound, Vortex]
 * Blitz: Am I interrupting something here?
 * Tex: [calmly] Nah, man. Just a conversation.
 * Blitz: Conversation leads to HPV!


 * Moxxie: [after being dunked in a beer keg by humans] A human called me a possum. I am not a possum.

Queen Bee

 * Vikki: OMJ, Loona? Lunatic Loona? That you?
 * Loona: Uh, yeah. It's Loona, yeah.
 * Vikki: Wow, I can't believe you're showing up to another party. I mean, do you even remember the last one?
 * Loona: [becoming annoyed] I'm sure you'll remind me.
 * Vikki: Yeah, this...[taps on her phone and shows a picture of Loona throwing up] This you, right?
 * Loona: [Angrily growling, through clenched teeth] Why do you still have that?
 * Vikki: It brings me joy. You know, you're supposed to keep things that bring you joy. [Loona growls louder, baring her teeth] Wow, you're being very negative. Your aura is really aggressive right now.
 * Loona: Oh yeah? Well, maybe it's because I'm in the presence of a massive BITCH!
 * [Partygoers gasp; Vikki nearly faints dramatically]
 * Vikki: Oh...my dog. Wow.
 * Loona: What?! Is that not an okay thing to say? Like, c'mon, it's true!
 * Partygoer: [offscreen] You can't say that.
 * [Loona angrily frowns]


 * Bee-Elzubub: [Approaches Vortex & Loona after her song] Ow-ow! Vortex! The party is buzzing now, FUCK! I feel like I went a little too hard with the confetti this time, though. I have, like, a rainbow in my vagina right now. [Loona's jaw drops; Bee notices her for the first time] Oh, hey, is this the sweet pup you were telling me about?
 * Loona: Excuse me?
 * Bee: She's a fucking cutie! Where've you been hiding, girl? [chuckles]
 * Loona: Is there something funny?
 * Bee: Nah, I'm just high on all of this tasty energy right now! Tex says you don't get invited out much. I hope this little itty-bitty gettogether could serve as a fun first time.
 * Loona: [sees another party attendee slide down the stair railing and hitting his groin on the newel post before falling over; unamused] Mmhmm.
 * Bee: I would've thrown a bigger one, but I couldn't convince Belphagor to let me break into her stash of party drugs. SO fucking lame. I mean, I usually just steal them, but Belle changed the locks. She says I'm a total jackass for trying, but hey–I'm proud to be a total jackass. [creates a bottle of beer and chugs it down]


 * Loona: [Looking for Blitzo in the middle of the party] Blitz! Blitz! Where are you, shithead?! Blitz!
 * [Sees Blitzo making out with another guy]
 * Loona: OH, PISS ON A DICK!


 * [Loona drives her and a drunk Blitzo from the party]
 * Loona: ...Do you need to throw up?
 * Blitzo: [Almost like a pouty child] No.
 * Lonna: Heh, yeah, you do.
 * [Loona carries Blitzo into their apartment, laying him on the couch, then returning with a blanket and a glass of water]
 * Blitzo: I had a really shitty day.
 * Loona: Yeah? Is that why you drank, like, 5 gallons' worth of who-knows-what?
 * Blitzo: Fuck, Fizz was right: I'm gonna die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered waste. [Loona gives a look of concern] Will you be there, Loonie?
 * Loona: Be where?
 * Blitzo: [Mumbling] I dunno, just...lonely...die alone...
 * Loona: [Covers Blitzo with the blanket] I'll be there...Dad. Now go the fuck to sleep, okay? [Goes to her bedroom]
 * Blitzo: [Mumbling] Millie...Moxxie...Stolas...[Lifts his head and vomits heavily on the floor] Fuck! Yeah, I did need to throw up.

Western Energy

 * Blitzo: [Sees Stolas is calling him while he's driving the van with a nervous Loona in the passenger seat, Millie and Moxxie in the back] Oh, shit. [Answers the phone] Stolas, it's really not a good time, buddy.
 * Stolas: Sorry it's a bad time yet again, Blitzy, but...I seem to have found myself in a bit of a cinch. I'm tied at the back of a horse at the moment.
 * Blitzo: Pfff, lucky bitch.
 * Stolas: Um, well, no. Rather unlucky. I seem to have been stolen by that little cowboy friend of yours.
 * Blitzo: Oh, which one?
 * Moxxie: How many cowboys do you know?! [to Stolas] What does he look like, your highness?
 * Stolas: [Takes a long look] Hmmm, sexy?
 * Moxxie: [To Blitzo] That's Striker, sir!
 * Blitzo: Oh, for fuck's sake...


 * Blitzo: [Walking into the doctor/vet, dragging a frightened Loona by the tail] Christ on a stick, of all the days for (Stolas) to get his stupid feathered ass kidnapped; I've waited FIVE FUCKING YEARS for this appointment! FUCK ME IN MY LITTLE RED HOLE! [Sees a woman with her pet in the waiting room] Hi, the fuck you looking at?

Voice cast

 * Brandon Rogers as Blitzo
 * Richard Steven Horvitz as Moxxie
 * Erica Lindbeck as Loona and Millie (pilot)
 * Vivian Nixon as Millie (series)
 * Bryce Pinkham as Stolas (series)
 * Mara Wilson as Mrs. Mayberry
 * Norman Reedus as Striker