Hung (TV series)

Hung (2009–2011) was an American TV show, airing on HBO, about a middle-aged basketball coach and high school History teacher who figures out how to put his exceptional physical endowments to use and change his fortunes. Forced to find an alternative source of income after a series of unfavorable events, Ray takes on a whole new profession aided by his pimp and business partner.

Pilot [1.01]
Note: This episode is 45 min. in length


 * Ray: [voice-over] What happened to my life? I used to be a big deal. I used to be going somewhere. Now all I ever seem to do is try not to drown.


 * Jessica: I am a little shallow. But I am deep enough to admit it. I'm much deeper than people think. And I'm only shallow because I choose to be. I am a beauty queen, Ray. A homecoming, cheerleading, stupid ass beauty queen!


 * Floyd Gerber: Fear. It's a common stumbling block. But the way to overcome it is to acknowledge it. Validate it. And keep on going. Damn the torpedoes!


 * Jessica: God, you were magical. In high school you were a king. You were beautiful and...and athletic, and talented and...and smart and popular. And hung!
 * Ray: What am I now, Jessica? What am I now?!
 * Jessica: Now you're just hung!

Great Sausage or Can I Call You Dick? [1.02]

 * Tanya: [referring to Lenore] You'll be like another product that she can recommend to her clients. I haven't talked to her yet, but I really think she might go for it. What do you think?
 * Ray: I think you're insane. I think I'm insane, I think this whole plan is nuts.
 * Tanya: Ray...
 * Ray: I also think I'm broke, my ex-wife is up my ass, and hell, I want my kids back. So yeah, what the hell. Go for it. I always wanted to be a product when I grew up.


 * Tanya: The point is, we have to think big. I know we might have to start with baby steps, but my goal is for us to be pulling down a couple thousand dollars a night.
 * Ray: You think I'm that good?
 * Tanya: Maybe if you work on your technique a little bit...a little bit.
 * Ray: My technique is fine, Tanya. I've been pleasing women for decades now. You're not my only screamer.

Strange Friends or The Truth Is, You're Sexy [1.03]

 * Tanya: Ray, I cannot be partners with someone who hates women.
 * Ray: Hey hey hey, I love women, Tanya. But Lenore is a control-freak, hickey-sucking pain in my ass.


 * Ray: You were gonna invite that guy in for tea?
 * Tanya: Sometimes tea is just tea, Ray.
 * Ray: Not in your world.

The Pickle Jar [1.04]

 * Ray: [voice-over] I'd been a jock, student leader, professional ballplayer, an educator. Is this really the material from which male prostitutes are made?


 * Ray: I don't know if I really feel comfortable doing Molly.
 * Tanya: Why the hell not?
 * Ray: Uh, just...I...she's not really my type.
 * Tanya: Not your type? What's your type, Ray?
 * Ray: She's just not exactly what I was expecting.
 * Tanya: What were you expecting?
 * Ray: I don't know, just, you know, someone who looks like they're sexually active.
 * Tanya: You mean somebody you want to be sexually active with. So insulting! Happiness Consultants does not discriminate. Not every customer is going to be some perfect big-breasted ten.

Do it, Monkey [1.05]

 * Jemma: Why is it so hard for you to say 'I love you'?
 * Ray: Why do you want me to say it so bad? Look, I just can't help but wonder why you'd want to ruin such a perfectly beautiful moment on a perfectly beautiful beach with all this fucked up, artificial shit. I mean, what am I, a goddamn dancing monkey here?


 * Ray: I just wish that in some crazy, long-shot version of this universe, that you would stay here with me...and not vanish from existence from my life.
 * Jemma: But Randall, I have a boyfriend.
 * Ray: And I respect that. And I respectfully don't care.

Doris is Dead or Are We Rich or Are We Poor? [1.06]

 * Ray: [voice-over] In two years, no one came to my games. Now, here we were in the worst losing streak of my life, and my ex-wife, my two kids, and my pimp were all sitting up there, side by side.


 * Ray: My name's Ray.
 * Jemma: More...tell me more.
 * Ray: No.
 * Jemma: Please?
 * Ray: No.
 * Jemma: I'll pay you...lots.
 * Ray: What do you think I am, a whore?
 * Jemma: Yeah. Yes, you're a whore.

The Rita Flower or The Indelible Stench [1.07]

 * Ray: Look, I'm saying, uh...I'd like to date you, Jemma.
 * Jemma: So, you want me to, um, go on a real date with you and, like, then maybe I have sex with you and maybe I don't?
 * Ray: Well, I think we're a little beyond the maybe part, but, uh...
 * Jemma: Ah, Ray Drecker, you know when you get all soft and serious it's...it's very hard to turn you down.


 * Ray: [voice-over while making love to Jemma] This was it. No more bullshit. No Randall, no force-fed lines, no flat tires by the side of the road. It was just me and her making out in my tent with the wind howling outside. It felt different this time. It felt real. [the next morning] Which is why waking up next to that pile of cold hard cash felt like such a kick in the gut.

Thith ith a Prothetic or You Cum Just Right [1.08]

 * Ray: I just wanted to give you this. It's a letter. It's from my heart.
 * Jemma: Fuck your heart.
 * Ray: What?
 * Jemma: Fuck your heart.
 * Ray: I don't understand.
 * Jemma: What don't you understand, Ray? I said fuck your heart. I paid in full.
 * Ray: You paid in full.
 * Jemma: Don't call me again.


 * Ray: [voice-over] Screwing Patty was easy. Fucking isn't hard. It's the mind-fuckking you gotta watch out for. She came, and then it came to me. I had to be completely honest. I had to say everything.

This is America or Fifty Bucks [1.09]

 * Lenore: Stop it.
 * Jessica: Stop what?
 * Lenore: Stop handing out your love like you're a tenth grade slut. Stop letting your kids and your husband walk all over you. Repeat after me: I have the power. Say it.
 * Jessica: Oh...uh...
 * Lenore: Say it.
 * Jessica: [quietly] I have the power.
 * Lenore: Say it again.
 * Jessica: I have the power.
 * Lenore: I don't believe you.
 * Jessica: [yelling] I have the mother fucking power!!


 * Patty: [referring to Ray] Well, having sex with that guy is like doing coke. Cause it's expensive, but you really want it, so you buy it and then you get this huge awesome rush.
 * Tanya: That's a good thing, right? A huge awesome rush.
 * Patty: But then you come down from your high and you're broke and you feel even lonelier and more pathetic than you did before and you wanna kill yourself.
 * Tanya: So I guess you won't be interested in our bi-monthly package?

A Dick and a Dream or Fight the Honey [1.10]

 * Lenore: [referring to Tanya] So did you dump her?
 * Ray: No. I tried, but uh...look Lenore, last time I checked, capitalism was about supply and demand. Now I've got the supply, and I've got a demand. We're gonna do this my way. Take it or leave it.


 * Ray: [voice-over] I used to have a family. I used to have a wife, kids, a house, a job. Now, well, now I have my dick. A dick and a dream. If that's not the American way, what is?

Tucson Is the Gateway to Dick or "This is Not Sexy [2.02]

 * Lottie: Teenagers hate everybody. Pent-up hormones. Once they have sex, they calm down. You were a happy teenager, because you were slut.

Cast

 * Thomas Jane - Ray Drecker
 * Jane Adams - Tanya Skagle
 * Anne Heche - Jessica Haxon
 * Charlie Saxton - Damon Drecker
 * Sianoa Smit-McPhee - Darby Drecker
 * Eddie Jemison - Ronnie Haxon
 * Rebecca Creskoff - Lenore Bernard
 * Gregg Henry - Mike Hunt
 * Lennie James - Charlie
 * Natalie Zea - Jemma