I Am Weasel

I Am Weasel is an American animated television series created by David Feiss for Cartoon Network, at the studio of Hanna-Barbera, being the fourth of the network's Cartoon Cartoons. The series centers on I. M. Weasel, a smart, beloved and highly successful weasel, and I. R. Baboon, an unsuccessful, unintelligent baboon who is jealous of Weasel's success and constantly tries to upstage him, usually failing to do so.

Theme song

 * April March: ♪ You don't need pants for the victory dance ♪
 * ♪ Cuz Baboon's better than Weasel ♪
 * ♪ I R Baboon big star of cartoon ♪
 * I.M Weasel: I am Weasel.
 * [The fans are cheering for I.M Weasel. I.M Weasel fixes the old lady's neck, gives her a thumbs up and flees away]
 * April March: ♪ I.R. Baboon reigns king in his mind ♪
 * ♪ He's just as good as the weasely kind ♪
 * ♪ But round every corner he's likely to find ♪
 * [The car hits I.R. Baboon]
 * I.M Weasel: I am Weasel, I am Weasel, I am Weasel!

I.M. Weasel

 * I am not a baby. I am Weasel.
 * [about I.R. Baboon] This poor idiotic creature. No wonder they're going the way of the dodo.
 * [to the Red Guy] Big Butt? You're not Big Butt!

I.R. Baboon

 * I.R. Baboon astronaut, working NASA astronaut, I.R. bump the clouds so high like an astronaut in the sky. [I.R. bumps into a golden Weasel statue]
 * [angry] Indiginity this, I.R. so close. Next time I show Weasel. [changes to an happy tone] I.R. make theme park on Sun. Come to Baboonworld, ride solar flare with I.R. Baboon! [I.R. Baboon laughs and pulls a raspberry]
 * [holding the baby] I.R. name you after grandpa of I.R. Baboon. Hello, Baby Grandpa!

Others

 * The Red Guy: [to Cow] Hope you don't milk the bed, pumpkin!
 * Oscar: That was increeedible, Weasel! Your performance was... raw, poooowerful! [He squeals with delight]

Dialogue

 * I.R. Baboon: [looks at chief] Wait minute... wouldn't that be dangerous mission go to sun? I.R. Have sensitive skin... And hate rash.
 * Head of Mission: Don't worry. We'll conduct the mission at night!
 * I.R. Baboon: Oooh! I your man! I.R. Baboon- First astronaut on sun!


 * Admiral Bullets: Hey Head Nanny Weasel what do I do? The future seventy third president is starting to draw flies.
 * I.M. Weasel: Relax Admiral Bullets I'll just change his diaper.
 * Admiral Bullets: Like you changed mine! Good idea!


 * I.M. Weasel: [to I.R. Baboon] You?!? What are you doing here?!?
 * I.R. Baboon: I.R. living here!


 * Mike: Oh, you're a good cook, Weasel. What do you call the meat?
 * I.M. Weasel: Craig, I call the meat, Craig. So, Mike, do you enjoy your work as a cartoon executive?
 * Mike: [wipes her mouth] Yeah, most of the time. But, sometimes my tongue starts to swell saying "no" to the new shows over and over again. [sticks her long tongue out] See?
 * I.M Weasel: Looks like an occupational hazard. [holds a glass] A milk toast, Mike to your continued success.
 * Mike: [muffled] I guess.


 * I.R. Baboon: Watching this!
 * [I.R.Baboon jumps and breaks the bridge]
 * I.R. Baboon: Ooops...
 * I.M. Weasel: Ooops?


 * [I.R.Baboon leaves. Scene cuts to the three kids watching I.M Weasel fishing]
 * Girl with beard: But how do you eat them?
 * I.M. Weasel: You suck
 * [I.M. Weasel drops his fishing rod and starts sucking an orange fish]